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    ‘Imagine’ That

    | CA, USA | History, Musical Mayhem, Students

    (I’m in AP World History class and we’re discussing Russia before communism.)

    Teacher: “…and that’ll contribute to the rise of Lenin.”

    Girl: “Wait, who’s Lenin?”

    Me: “Evil massacring commie who set Russia back decades.”

    Girl: “Oh, I thought that he was the guy from the Beatles…”

    Refuses To Hair It

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Students

    (We’re playing kickball in PE. Since we are on fake turf something gets in my eye. A girl I talk to very little walks near me and sees me squinting so I try to explain why. Note that I have very long, natural brown hair that I don’t like to do much with since it’s too bothersome.)

    Me: “I got something in my eye.”

    Girl: “It’s because of your hair! You need to do your hair! You would look so much better with your hair done!”

    Me: “I like my hair…”

    Girl: “WHY WON’T YOU DO YOUR HAIR? YOUR HAIR WOULD BE PRETTY IF YOU DID IT! IT’S REDDISH BROWN, WHICH IS NICE, BUT IF YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT THEN IT’S JUST A BIG UGLY MESS!”

    Me: “I only like to put my hair loose and maybe in piggy-tails.”

    Girl: “YOU NEED TO DO YOUR HAIR! You have a boyfriend now! You need to do your hair for him!”

    Me: “I’ve been wearing my hair loose since I met him. If he really had a problem with my hair then it would have come up by now…”

    Girl: “BUT STILL! I’m going to do your hair! After PE, I’ll do your hair! Don’t worry; you’ll be pretty!”

    Me: “…”

    (She just skipped away after that. I was scared to tell her I was planning to cut my hair to a pixie cut so I could donate it.)

    Match The Faces


    color-first-day-sch-web

    And He’s A Homo Sapien

    | OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (In a fourth-grade classroom, the students are 9-11 years of age.)

    Student #1: “Miss, she just called me a mammal!”

    Teacher: “Um… [Student #1], you are a mammal.”

    Student #1: *outraged tone* “What?! I am NOT!”

    Teacher: “Well… what are the characteristics of a mammal? They have live babies, fur or hair, the mommies make milk for the babies…”

    Student #1: “I still don’t think that’s right.”

    (It took another 10 minutes and a visit to Wikipedia before he was convinced.)

    Adopting A New Family Plan

    | Louisville, KY, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Students

    (At my all-female high school, every student is required to take a basic health class, always taught by the same teacher. Every semester, during the unit on reproduction, the teacher likes to play a video about childbirth which is very quiet and soothing for about the first 10-15 minutes before rapidly cutting to a screaming, graphic birth scene. My younger sister was recounting this to me as we were driving home.)

    Teacher: *after the video has finished* “Who here is now planning on adopting? *the entire class raises their hands*

    Girl In The Back: *mystified, traumatized tone* “It’s like a rocket…”


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