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    A Calculated Distraction

    | Canada | Math & Science, Technology

    (My teacher has a VERY strict policy on cell phones in class.)

    Teacher: “[My Name]! Put your phone away before I take it away!”

    Me: [Teacher], it’s not a phone. This is my calculator.”

    Teacher: “Oh, well, it’s distracting! Put it away!”

    Me: “But it’s math class…”

    Time To Run-On Away

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Language & Words, Teachers

    (Our English teacher is very frustrated that, despite being eighth graders, about half our class can’t seem to understand run-on sentences.)

    Teacher: “YOU CAN’T CONNECT TWO SENTENCES WITH JUST A COMMA. How hard is that? If [Boy #1] can’t get this next question, [Boy #2], you can stomp on his feet.”

    Boy #1: *nervous* “Okay…”

    Teacher: “Is this a sentence, a fragment, or a run-on?”

    (The sentence is ‘I ate caramel apples, my dentist will be mad.’)

    Boy #1: “A sentence.”

    (Teacher groans and slams her head into her desk.)

    Teacher: “Stomp on his feet.”



    Your Careers Are History

    | ON, Canada | Teachers

    (After twenty minutes of our history lecture, our professor stops and sighs.)

    Professor: “Maybe I sound a little bit conceited when I say this, but none of you are going to find careers. Get used to it.”

    Stripped Of His Teaching License

    | Baytown, TX, USA | Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (I’m about to take a group of third graders to PE. They’re not allowed to have their coats in the gym.)

    Me: “Remember to take your coats off and leave them here.”

    Boy: “What? We have to take off our clothes?”

    Rest Of Class: “No, coats!”

    Me: “Please, please, please do not go home and tell your parents that I told you to take your clothes off!”

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