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    It’s No Joke(r)

    | AZ, USA | Geeks Rule, Students

    (We are in Spanish class, discussing what it means to be a hero. The instructor calls on me.)

    Instructor: “[My Name], what do you think a hero is?”

    Me: “Someone’s who’s courageous, relatively selfless, cares for others, tries to do the right thing, and can’t stand injustice.”

    Instructor: “Very good, [My Name]. Anything else?”

    Me: *jokingly* “Superman!”

    (A rude, sanctimonious middle-aged student who enjoys picking on others raises her hand.)

    Instructor: “Yes, [Student]?”

    Student: “I think she’s dead wrong. In my opinion, characters like Superman and Batman aren’t heroes. They have superpowers, and heroes can only be average people. Superman and Batman aren’t heroes. Like I said, they have superpowers – so they’re anti-heroes!”

    (The class is silent; dumbfounded at the student’s senseless outburst at what was clearly a joke.)

    Professor: “Now [Student], we respect all points of view here, but if you had ever opened a comic book, you would know that Batman doesn’t have superpowers!”

    (The whole class cracked up as the rude student sank down in her seat, blushing. That was the last time she tried to make someone else look stupid!)

    There Is No Chocolate Rose Without A Thorn

    | CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Teachers

    (It’s Valentine’s Day, and I’m having math which is a double period. A student from a different period gave my teacher two chocolate roses which she keeps in her mini fridge in her office.)

    Student: *opens door* “Uh, [Teacher], can I have a chocolate back?”

    (The teacher groans and gives it back.)

    Teacher: *jokingly* “So, you give me this for Valentine’s Day and you want it back?”

    (All of us are scared for a bit until we realize she’s joking.)

    Teacher: “FINE! Be that way! I want a divorce. Keep the kids!”

    (All of us burst out laughing, and she was my all-time favorite math teacher.)

    Freudian Voting Slip

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Language & Words, Teachers

    (My teacher goes over Freud, and briefly goes over Freudian slips. The next week, the class gets on the topic of voting.)

    Student: “A lot of the younger people I talk to say they don’t vote because it feels like it won’t make a difference.”

    Teacher: “I’ve heard the same. Your generation is pathetic—wait, no!”

    (The class laughs.)

    Teacher: “I’m sorry, politically apathetic. I don’t think you guys are pathetic.”

    (The class continues to chuckle a bit.)

    Teacher: “This always happens right after I go over Freudian slips.”

    Their Brain Is Dead Meat

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre/Silly, Books & Reading, Language & Words, Students

    (We are studying the short story ‘Lamb to the Slaughter,’ in which a woman bludgeons her husband to death with a leg of lamb, and then proceeds to feed the lamb to the police officers investigating the crime.)

    Teacher: “So, the name of the story is a pun. Can anyone tell me what a pun is?”

    (There is silence for a minute before one student puts in her answer.)

    Student: “Is it, like, based on the story? Like, is it, like, meat?”

    Screwing With Literature

    | Lincoln, NE, USA | Bigotry, Books & Reading, Students

    (A female student raises hand to comment on a Norman Mailer book being discussed in class.)

    Student: “All the women in this book get screwed, literally and physically.”


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