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    The Force That Makes You Flee From Bugs

    | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Awesome, Language & Words, Math & Science, Teachers

    (I am taking physics and biochemistry this semester. The professor is explaining to the class how centrifugal force really doesn’t exist.)

    Physics Professor: “‘Centrifugal’ means ‘fleeing the center’. If this really existed, then if you tie a weight on a string, whirl it around in a circle and let go, the weight would make a sharp right turn and fly off radially from the circle. Instead, what it does is continue in a straight line, tangentially to the circle. This is called ‘centriPETal force,’ meaning ‘attracted to the center.'”

    Me: “Yeah, but what about that machine upstairs in the bio-chem lab that I use to concentrate my samples? Everyone calls it a centrifuge, right? What am I supposed to call it instead, a centripete?”

    Physics Professor: *without blinking an eye* “Only if it has a hundred legs.”

    Show A Bit Of Bloody Compassion

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Exams/Tests, Health & Body, Teachers

    (We’re sitting in Typography class waiting for a quiz to start when a girl walks in holding her hand.)

    Student: “Um, siiiir?”

    (She holds up her arm and blood is gushing out of her palm.)

    Student: “I need some help bandaging this up.”

    (The professor makes no movement to help so another student rushes up.)

    Professor: “Our quiz is about to start. This is your only chance to take it.”

    Student #2: “She needs stitches and has to go to the hospital!”

    Professor: “Well, she can go after or forfeit a grade.”

    Student #3: “There’s a first aid kit in the main hallway.”

    (The three students leave.)

    Professor: “Well, they’re all receiving a zero.”

    (He then proceeded to leave the room after them. After 10 minutes we peeked our heads outside and there was a TRAIL of blood on the floor. Turned out the professor stood there watching them patch her hand until they left to take her to the hospital to get stitches. He really did fail them!)

    The ‘Need’ Of The Many

    | NJ, USA | Exams/Tests, Homework, Ignoring/Inattentive, Students

    (Going to school for computer programming – the second-to-last group to have the course as it is before being revamped to all-web-based programming – we have a succession of teachers for each programming language. The final course is Java, and while the teacher is nice and actually helpful, his instructions are lacking. It is during the two weeks we have to finish our final project, where the two current classes have been merged into the larger lab, and the teacher’s not in the room at the moment.)

    Me: “UGH, how are we supposed to do all this?!”

    Other Group: “What do you mean?”

    Classmate: “How are we supposed to set up 30 programs in two weeks?! The first batch are easy but the rest are taking two to three days each!”

    Other Group: “You don’t need to do all 30!”

    Us: “WHAT!?”

    (We get the FULL instructions from the other group. When the teacher comes back, he gets bombarded.)

    Me: “Why didn’t you tell us we only needed to do [the number from each section]?!”

    Teacher: “I did!”

    Classmate: “No, you didn’t!”

    Classmate #2: “I even asked you last week how we were supposed to get ALL THIRTY done!”

    Teacher: “The cover sheet for the packet had the full instructions!”


    (Turned out he gave Class #2 the cover sheet, which said how many programs from each section to do and how much of each section to work, as well as the fact that it counted as 50% of the entire course’s grade, but neither gave us that copy nor said anything… And we didn’t learn this until there was about three days left. Nobody was given extensions, nor extra credit for the extra work already done. It was a miracle several of us were able to rush through what we ‘needed’ to do!)

    That Final Project Opened Some Doors For You

    | AB, Canada | History, Students, Technology

    (I’m studying radio broadcasting at a tech college, and one day we have a special guest speaker. This speaker is an alumni of the program and has gone on to become one of the most prominent station managers in our city. After his talk, he turns to leave our classroom, and trips over something. He stops, looks down, and grows wistful.)

    Professor: “Hey, [Station Manager], is everything okay?”

    Station Manager: “Yeah, fine. It’s just this 8-track tape you’re using for a doorstop. I recognize the label. It was my final project 20 years ago.” *sigh* “All that work…”

    Hope The Calculator Has A Panic Button

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Math & Science, Students

    (I am sitting in my algebra class.)

    Professor: *after writing a complicated problem on the board* “What do we do next?”

    Student Behind Me: “Panic.”

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