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    The Dark Side To Make Up

    | VIC, Australia |

    (I am 15. I am female and have never worn foundation except for very, very formal events and even then it was applied by someone else, so I have no knowledge of how it works. I am walking to my next class when I see a girl  in my year level that I’m relatively familiar with. I’m startled because her face is paper white when she typically has very attractive tan skin.)

    Me: “Oh, my God, [Girl]! Are you all right? You’re deathly pale! Are you feeling okay?”

    Girl: *smiles* “No, actually I’m not wearing foundation today.”

    Me: *embarrassed* “I’m so sorry. I don’t really know much about make-up. To be honest I thought your skin was darker.”

    Girl: “Don’t worry about it, honey. It is, it’s just that I’ve been wearing foundation every day since I got to high school so now my skin has lost a lot of colour and is really dry and in bad shape.”

    Me: “Oh, wow, that’s a thing?”

    Girl: *laughs* “I’m really wishing I was in your position right now, sweetie.”

    Going For Broke(back)

    | UK | History, Movies & TV, Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (I am in my history class. We have recently started the topic of the American West. This includes things like the gold rush and cowboys.)

    Student: “So, was it basically like in Brokeback Mountain but with less gay sex?”

    Teacher: “… I wouldn’t really know how much gay sex there was.”

    A Seasonal Habit

    | TX, USA | Language & Words, Teachers

    (It is the last day of our human cognition class. Our professor has just finished telling us that this was the second to last class she’ll ever teach.)

    Professor: “You guys were a wonderful class. I had a great time this summer.”

    (We all laugh good-naturedly as she realizes her mistake.)

    Professor: “Well, I had a great summer. I don’t know about you guys.”

    Can’t Take The Heat Of Exams

    | Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Exams/Tests, Teachers

    (We’re all sitting in a midterm exam. Our professor is standing at the front, watching over us. He’s usually a really friendly and generally intelligent guy. He’s told us we should be able to clear his exam in 30-45 minutes. About 20 minutes into the test, the fire alarm starts to ring. We all pause, kind of unsure of what’s going on. Soon, we hear the other rooms around ours emptying into the hallway. We all start to pack up when the professor speaks up.)

    Professor: “No, no, don’t worry. Sit back down. It’s okay.”

    (We all just look up and stare at him for a moment.)

    Student: “That’s the fire alarm, sir. We should get out of here.”

    Professor: *looking at the clock on the wall* “You guys should be able to finish in 10 minutes. Keep going!”

    (Some students uneasily start settling down while others just make for the door. The same student speaks up.)

    Student: “You want us to write this in the middle of a fire?”

    Professor: *casually* “Oh, you’re right. I’m being stupid. All right, let’s get out of here!”

    (We all leave. The week after, we sit down to write the exam again – only to see that he’s using exactly the same questions, just in a different order! Our class average was extremely high, and the professor couldn’t figure out why!)

    That’s Why The Navy Has A Poop Deck

    | MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Teachers

    (I’m in class for my military training. During a lecture, I get a strong call from Mother Nature. I quietly tell the person next to me to assure accountability and leave. I haven’t been feeling good the past few days so I’m there for twenty minutes. When I get back the class is on a short break. The acting squad leader approaches me.)

    Squad Leader: “Where’d you go?”

    Me: “Latrine.”

    Squad Leader: “Why didn’t you say anything?”

    Me: “I told the person next to me. Did she not say anything?”

    Squad Leader: “Why didn’t you tell me?”

    Me: “You were across the room…”

    Squad Leader: “You need to tell me when you leave!”

    Me: “It was urgent! You were 20 feet away!”

    Squad Leader: “You need to tell me!”

    Me: *giving up* “Okay, fine.”

    (He leaves, satisfied. I turn to another classmate who was eavesdropping.)

    Me: “Does he seriously expect me to interrupt a lecture by screaming ‘I gotta poop!’ across the room?”

    Classmate: “Well, this is the Army…”

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