Rejection Stings In Any Language

| Waterloo, ON, Canada | Language & Words, Love/Romance

(I’m taking a Japanese class and we’re going over affirmation/declination statements. The professor is trying to encourage students to decline/reject statements to no avail… until…)

Professor: “Enough! [Guy]! You’re doing well in this class; ask [Girl] if she would like to have coffee.”

Guy: *in Japanese* “Would you like to have some coffee?”

Professor: “Now [Girl], how would say no?”

Girl: *in Japanese* Sorry, [Guy], I would not like to have coffee with you.”

Professor: “OOOOOH! REJECTED! And that is how you turn people down ladies.”

Soaked Up That Lesson Like A Sponge

| San Diego, CA, USA | Physical, Students, Teachers

(After I graduated high school, I go back to work as a lab assistant, setting up all the laboratory exercises for the chemistry and biology students. This takes place in the chemistry lab just after orientation.)

Teacher: “If you pull on the cord for the emergency shower, and it’s not an emergency, you will have to mop up the water with the little sponge at your lab station” *holds up little yellow kitchen sponge for emphasis* “Do you understand? If you make a mess, you will clean it up.”

Students: *nod and mumble understanding*

(The teacher turns to walk across the room, slips and falls, grabbing the handle of the emergency shower to catch herself. The shower turns on, soaking the teacher and several nearby students.)

Student: *wordlessly holds out the little yellow sponge*

A Hole Lot Of Suspense

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre/Silly, Lazy/Unhelpful

(In fourth grade science class, we’re doing an activity where we’re given a closed box full of styrofoam pieces and have to figure out the shape they make by poking a straw through holes in the lid. It’s supposed to give us an idea of how sonar works. One girl in my group is lazy and doesn’t feel like doing it, so she peeks under the lid right away.)

Teacher: *walks over to our group, talks to girl* “Did I see you looking in the box right away?”

Girl: “I can’t stand suspense.”

Teacher: “It shouldn’t be that suspenseful, dear. It’s a box with styrofoam in it!”

Causing Disorder With No Special Order

| DE, USA | Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Staff

(It’s the first day of middle school and I’m in the lunch line behind two girls who seem to be best friends. We were having some kind of pasta with cheese and tomato sauce that day.)

Girl #1: “Could you please not put cheese on mine?”

Girl #2: “Yeah, and I don’t want sauce on mine either.”

Lunch Lady: “I don’t do special orders.”

Girl #2: “But can’t you make an exception for us? We’re—”

Lunch Lady: “I don’t do special orders!”

Girl #1: “But I’m—”

Lunch Lady: “I don’t do special orders!”

(They both look downtrodden as she puts cheese and sauce on both, shoves the trays into their hands, and moves on to serving the rest of the line. They both pay for their food, remove the banana and chocolate milk from their trays, and promptly dump the rest in the garbage before sitting next to me to eat their meager meals, which catches the attention of a nearby teacher.)

Teacher: “Why are you girls wasting food?”

Girl #2: “Because she asked the lunch lady not to put cheese on her food and I asked her not to put sauce on mine, but she did anyway and insisted she doesn’t do special orders.”

Teacher: “So you decided to waste food because of that?”

Girl #1: “Well, I’m lactose intolerant and she’s allergic to tomatoes, so we couldn’t actually eat any of it.”

(The teacher ended up taking them back through the second line. The lunch lady serving that line was a lot friendlier and more than happy to do special orders for them. As for the other one, she became notorious throughout the school for being needlessly surly to everyone. By the time my classmates and I graduated and left for high school, the entire school was calling her Ms. Crankypants behind her back.)

Has The Answer Booked

| NJ, USA | Books & Reading, Exams/Tests

(I have two books that I am extremely passionate about and have been for years. Our English teacher decides to help us study for our AP exam with a quiz game. She splits us into teams and goes to each one and reads a quote from one of the books we had read over the last four years. The team has to tell her what book the quote was from, who said it, and what it was in reference to in order to get a point. After my team goes, the next team gets a quote from one of these two books. They don’t know the answers, so she moves on to the next team. As each successive team fails to answer, I’m getting more and more excited. She finally gets to the team next to mine, which my best friend is on.)

Friend: “Well, [My Name] is about to jump out of her seat, so it would have to be from [Book #1] or [Book #2]. Since we didn’t read [Book #2] in school, I’m gonna say it’s from [Book #1].”

(Their team couldn’t come up with who said it or what it was in reference to, though, so when the teacher passed the question over to my team, everyone instantly turned to me. We got the point.)

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