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Getting All Negative About It

| England, UK | Math & Science

(We are learning about fractional and negative indices.)

Teacher: “What do we do when there’s a minus sign?”

Student: “Cry.”

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Taking Grade A Drugs

| IN, USA | Language & Words

(Our health class recently took our quiz on the chapter over illegal drugs and their effects on the body. My grade is good, but not as good as I had expected. I ask the teacher if I can go over it with her.)

Me: “I just want to see what I did wrong. In all of my past health classes, I’ve always been really good at drugs!”

Teacher: *chuckling* “My goodness, I hope not!”

Me: “Yeah. That didn’t come out right.”

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Choosing Not To Go Down That Rabbit Hole

| AZ, USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV

(In the middle of one of our English classes, we’re discussing ‘The Iliad.’ We’re analyzing if a certain character is a hero or not, even though he ended up giving up information to an enemy under distress. We’re not supposed to mention anything pop culture at our school.)

Kid #1: “Well, it makes sense that he would give up information. He’s a coward.”

Kid #2: “To be fair, this passage here describes the situation as ‘a rabbit being chased by rabid hounds.’”

Kid #1: “I guess that makes sense. Rabbits aren’t going to be able to do anything to hounds.”

Kid #2: *dryly* “A rabbit can’t really stand up to anything. Makes me wonder why he decided to be a soldier.”

Kid #3: “THAT IS NOT WHAT ZOOTOPIA TAUGHT US!”

(Everyone stares at Kid #3, who kind of wilts.)

Kid #3: *quieter* “Rabbits can do anything they put their minds to… That’s what Zootopia taught us.”

Teacher: “I’m just going to assume Zootopia is a novel you read last year for class, and we’re going to move on.”

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Copying It To The Letter

| USA | Musical Mayhem

(I’m a teacher and will often joke with my students in class. It’s the beginning of class and I go to answer a knock at my door while I am giving instructions to my students.)

Me: “Okay, guys, go ahead and jump onto the computers and into our program. Well, not literally into the computers, like Steve jumps into pictures on Blue’s Clues.”

(A few of the students respond and giggle as I open the door to a student dropping off a document. I turn around to walk it back to my desk and a student sees that it’s in an envelope.)

Student: *singing, just like the Blue’s Clues song* “We just got a letter!”

Me: *joining in* “We just got a letter!”

Rest Of Class: “We just got a letter! Wonder who it’s from?”

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You’re Just Adding To The Problem

| NS, Canada | Bad Behavior, Math & Science, Teachers

(Within the first couple months of my grade three year, I come down with a bad case of chickenpox, with strep throat on top of it. While my teacher sends out booklets for me to work on during the week-and-a-half or so I am out of school, I am still a bit behind. On my first day back, I find out that my class had started on multiplication. I’m not understanding anything that’s on my worksheet, so I go to the teacher.)

Me: “Miss, how do I do this?”

Teacher: “Oh, it’s just like addition.”

Me: “Then why is it different?”

Teacher: “Oh, you’ll figure it out.” *walks away*

(I went back to my desk and started work in my paper. I treated every question like it was addition, and of course got all of them wrong. It wasn’t until a class almost a week later that I got it better explained to me, and I was given a times table sheet that I was supposed to have gotten along with the booklets and should have had partially memorized by then. By then, the damage had already been done, and I’ve struggled with math since then.)

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