I’m Allergic To Meg

| BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(In my high-school Home-Ec. class:)

Classmate: *completely serious* “If you take the nut out of nutmeg, can people who are allergic to nuts eat it?”

It’s A Garçon/Fille Thing


(I live in a small town with a lot of hard-core right-wing anti-LGBT strongly Christian people. I myself am Christian, but am very liberal. I’m also trans, something I’ve spent years coming to terms with and am starting to tell people during my sophomore year of high school. As of this point, I have mostly only told a few friends. I tried to explain it to my parents and got a kind of “I’m going to pretend this doesn’t exist” reaction. However, despite having long hair, I look masculine enough to pass in environments where no one knows me, especially if an adult will address me as male. My school’s French Club offers a trip to Europe — specifically, France, Germany, and the Alps, with an optional add-on of going to Versailles — for several thousand dollars fund-raised over the course of three years. It’s an incredible opportunity that I’ve been looking forward to since middle school. We have finally had the meeting and signed up to start fundraising. I am hoping to be able to go stealth (pass as male) in France, though. My teacher is very kind and supportive and knows me because of all the volunteer work I’ve done for the club. I’ve thought about coming out to her all year, and one day when I’m staying after class, I finally decide to.)

Teacher: “So [Principal] told me I have to talk to [Administrator] about whether or not we can solicit free gift cards from businesses. Otherwise we can just buy them and get reimbursed.”

Me: “Okay, sounds good. Is [Friend] here today?”

Teacher: “She didn’t check in, so probably not. Now don’t be late to your next class!”

Me: “Okay! Also, this is a little awkward, but… Je ne suis pas une fille. Je suis un garçon.” *”I am not a girl. I am a boy.”*

Teacher: “Oh, tu es un garçon?” *”You are a boy?* “Okay!”

Me: “Thank you! Au demain!” *”See you tomorrow!”*

(It was probably the most well-received my coming out has been, and I’ll be able to spend ten straight days passing as a boy, having the time of my life in three countries!)

An Animal That Controls Detentions

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Students

(Our school is known be being very wacky and lenient towards our seniors. For reasons unknown, all the seniors decide to do a sort of “themed day.” For example, one year, everyone would dress like an animal, and another year, they would all wear all black. For some reason, this year is tourist and they are all walking around campus pretending to be a group of foreigners. This occurs when the entire group walks into a classroom where the teacher is widely hated by both students and staff.)

Senior: *points at teacher* “Hey, [Tour Leader], what kind of animal is that?”

(Cue 84 people going “OOOH” with much laughter from us and the students in that class. This is the story of how our school handed out almost 100 detentions in a single day.)

Rocks Are Jupiter Ascending

Santa Monica, CA, USA | Math & Science

I’m in my Algebra II class, and I notice the textbook asks a question about a rock dropping on three planets, and asks which one will hit the ground first.

The planets are Earth, Mars, and… Jupiter. Astronomy nerds like me would face-palm, as JUPITER DOESN’T HAVE A SOLID SURFACE! However, I know the textbook is looking for Jupiter as the answer, so I call over the teacher to explain that it is wrong.

Surprisingly, she took it very well, and told me she’d tell the publishers that it is wrong.

Hopefully, they learned their lesson.

Infinitely Bad at Spelling

| USA | Language & Words, Math & Science

(We are about to take a test in a pre-calculus class for sophomores, so this is an advanced course for us.)

Student #1: [Teacher], can I write an infinity sign and then ‘many solutions’ if there are infinitely many solutions?”

Teacher: “I suppose…”

Student #1: “Good. Because I can’t spell ‘infinitely.'”

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