Won’t Take No Answer For An Answer

| USA | Crazy Requests, Teachers

(My Spanish teacher is generally disagreeable, but this interaction takes the cake. During class, she is asking random people a certain question in Spanish and they have to answer. I was absent the previous day, so I’m frantically trying to catch up on my homework so I can have a general idea of what’s going on.)

Teacher: “Señorita [My Name]!”

Me: *looks up* “Huh?”

Teacher: “Since you weren’t paying attention, this one is for you.” *proceeds to ask me a question in Spanish I don’t understand*

Me: *stumbling over my words* “Uh… I-I wasn’t here yesterday, Señora.”

Teacher: “That’s no excuse. Answer the question.”

Me: “I don’t know what the answer is!”

Teacher: *in a sickeningly sweet, patronizing voice* “Well, if you’re refusing to answer, I’ll have no choice but to dock your participation points for the day.”

Me: “I’m not refusing to answer; I just don’t know that answer!”

Teacher: “Then your participation points are gone for today.”

Me: “You know what? Fine!”

(The deduction didn’t affect the A I had in her class, but I was still mad!)


Not YouTube But MyTube

| England, UK | Technology

(I am in the computer room for a German class. Our teacher is known for being very funny and hilariously sarcastic. This happens 5 minutes into the lesson…)

Girl #1: “[My Name], are we allowed to listen to music?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Girl #1: “Can you ask [German Teacher] for me, then? Don’t tell her I asked.”

(I approach German Teacher’s desk.)

Me: “[German Teacher], are we allowed to listen to music as well as do the work? [Girl #1] wanted me to ask.”

German Teacher: “Of course. As long as I don’t see YouTube open on your computer, that’s fine!” *winks at me*

(I go back to my computer and repeat everything German Teacher said to Girl #1. At this point, news has spread that we’re able to listen to music. Note that my teacher has software to see our screens on her computer. Everyone proceeds to open YouTube. Ten minutes later…)

Girl #1: “Hey, why’s my music closed?”

Me: “Maybe it’s just a glitch, try opening it again.”

(She does, but it shuts down again.)

Girl #1: “It’s still shutting down!”

Girl #2: “So is mine!”

Girl #3: “And mine, too!”

(Two minutes in, the whole class has had their YouTube closed by our teacher except me. At this point, they know that it’s our teacher closing the YouTube windows, but she hasn’t closed mine.)

Girl #4: “Hey, how come [My Name] gets to use YouTube?”

Girl #5: “[German Teacher], why does [My Name] get to use YouTube and we don’t?”

German Teacher: “I said YouTube wasn’t meant to be seen by me.” *winks at me again*

(The rest of the lesson went without any complaining. My YouTube was never closed and I still have this teacher.)


A Poetic Resolution

| MI, USA | Books & Reading, Non-Dialogue, Teachers

It is the first day of class with a horrible poetry teacher.

She knew kids hated poetry, so she hated all of us right off the bat.

She tells us that fifty percent of the grade would be to recite a memorized poem. I raise my hand and ask if I can do it right then.

She was completely shocked, and loved me for the rest of the year.


Disney’s Red Light District

| USA | Rude & Risque

(Before class starts, a group of my friends and I are exchanging lewd jokes. I am the only female, while the rest are male.)

Friend #1: *to me* “I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my dickle.”

Friend #2: “I’ll give you a dime if you give me a good time.”

Me: *I smirk, and say to [Friend #1]* “I’ll give you a dollar if you can make me holler.”

Friend #1: *with a twinkle in his eye* “All right, first I’ll take you to Valleyfair, then Disneyland…”

(We all laughed.)


The Law Has Plenty To Say About THAT

| Hobart, TAS, Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Language & Words

(I am studying my Masters of Teaching, a degree enabling students without undergraduate education degrees to become teachers in primary and high schools. We are in a tutorial and having a class discussion on the ethical and legal requirements of teachers with regards to a lawsuit against a teacher who was sued for not interfering in a fight during which a student was seriously injured, and relating to the classroom in general.)

Student #1: “…so inactivity can be as dangerous as taking the wrong action.”

Student #2: “Right. So it’s important to remember your legal Duty of Care so that you don’t get caught with your pants down.”

(The entire class and the tutor erupt into laughter.)

Tutor: “Yes, you definitely shouldn’t be caught like that.”

Student #2: *bright red and holding his head in his hands* “Perhaps I should have worded that better…”

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