City Slickers: Not So Slick

| Chicago, IL, USA | Field Trip

(My Environmental Sciences professor decides to take the class on a field trip to a small, nearby forest preserve. I grew up in the country, so I’m perfectly at home in the small woodland, but my city kid classmates, apparently not so much. These are some of the things I overheard…)

Many People: “Are the deer dangerous?!”

Classmate #1: “I feel like I’m in a horror movie!”

Me: “Dude, it’s broad daylight, and we have a park ranger with us, and you can see the bus stop from here.”

(But what takes the cake…)

Classmate #2: “Oh, god, is that a coyote?!”

Me: “It’s a terrier…”

A Bad Egg

| Simsbury, CT, USA | Field Trip, Food & Drink, Geography

(The eighth-grade French class is on a trip to Quebec City. We have just crossed back into the USA on our way back to our school. Some of the kids have been caught with Kinder Eggs. What the border guards make our teacher do is walk, in the snow and currently snowing, over to the Canadian border, and throw out the eggs. When she gets to the border, the Canadian there says this:)

Border Guard: “They can trust in god, but they can’t trust an egg.”

It’s A Battle To Be Heard

| MA, USA | Awesome, History, Teachers

(It is springtime, and the windows are all open. We are in chemistry class when we hear a commotion from the history classroom across the corner. The American History teacher, who LOVES history, and waxes dramatic about it, is in the middle of describing a great battle, complete with sound effects. Exactly which one, we cannot be sure of, although it clearly involves bombs, explosions, and noisy violence. The chemistry teacher pauses and the class falls silent as we all listen. After a few moments, the chemistry teacher speaks:)

Teacher: “Gosh, I sure hope we’re winning!”

Not So Speakeasy

USA | Teachers, Time

(One of my major departments does a lot of panels on career and graduate school advice. This morning, we got an email that there would be one tonight, and listed three people included in the panel, one of whom is my professor. After class today, I mention it to him.)

Professor: “I’m not on any panel. No one told me I am.”

Me: *pulling up email on my phone* “It says right here, 6:30 pm, [Today’s Date], ‘wonderful guest speakers with different degrees including [Professor].’”

Professor: “I never agreed to this. I’ve got my other job tonight. I have to be in [Town 20-30 minutes away] at six pm. Forward me the email.”

(Hopefully by next class he’ll have figured out what happened!)

MAN-agement

| FL, USA | Bigotry, Students

(I’m in my Human Resource Management class. About 75% of the class is male; however, the professor is female. We are having a class discussion on different types of discrimination in the workplace.)

Classmate #1: “Okay, okay… I get where you guys are going with this, but aren’t there jobs that women shouldn’t do?”

Professor: “Explain.”

Classmate #1: “Like really physical jobs. Those are for men! Also, being in management—”

Professor: “Be very careful with what comes out of your mouth next, [Classmate #1].”

Classmate #1: “But managing is a man’s job!”

(Every girl in the classroom, including myself, whips around in their chairs and stares at him.)

Classmate #2: “So, what are you saying? That only men should be managers?”

Classmate #1: “NO! That is not what I said!”

Me: “Really? Because that is what JUST came out of your mouth.”

Classmate #2: “So, what do you think women should be doing instead of managing?”

Classmate #3: *shakes his head* “[Classmate #1]… Dude… just admit that you’ve lost and don’t answer that question!”

Classmate #1: “Women should be teachers, or secretaries, or just stay at home. Leave the managing to the men!”

Classmate #4: “WHAT?!”

Me: “So, what about those of us who are female and management majors? We’re just out of luck in your world?”

Classmate #1: “Um… Well, when you put it that way, no…”

Me: “That doesn’t line up with what you said earlier about us needing to be teachers or secretaries.”

Classmate #1: “[Professor]! Help me! I didn’t mean it!”

Professor: “Nope. What you’ve been saying for the last five minutes is a massive HR violation and would get you fired in the real world. You deserve whatever these girls dish out at you. And, by the way, they are ALL Management majors!”

(He got very quiet after that.)

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