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Totally Wired For This Drill

| USA | Physical, Students

(We are in class discussing an upcoming lockdown drill. We’re told that when the lockdown starts, we have to crouch down along the wall by the door.)

Student #1: “But if someone’s in the building, they can look through the door window and see all our backpacks and stuff.”

Student #2: “If there ever is a real lockdown, we should set up a trip wire.”

Student #3: “Yeah, and someone should wait by the door with a textbook to slam down when the guy trips over the wire.”

Teacher: “You three should be in charge of lockdown drills.”

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Your Lessons Are Redundant

| Cebu, Philippines | Language & Words

(I work in an online English school and most of our students are Japanese. We do our best to make classes as fun as possible and there are students who do the same! Here is one of them. In a particular class, the student and I talk about some vocabulary words including the word “redundant.” We also mention examples of sentences with repeating words. Towards the end of the class…)

Me: “Do you remember the word ‘redundant’”?

Student: “Yes!”

Me: “What does it mean?”

Student: “Repeating.”

Me: “Very good! Don’t forget it, okay?”.

Student: “Okay!”

(Every after class, I send a “thank you” message to students and wish them a good day. Some of them reply and some don’t. For this class, the student replies.)

Me: “Thank you so much, [Student]! You did a great job! Have an awesome day!”

Student: “Thank you, you, you! I redundant you! Hahaha.”

(Very clever!)

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A Sub-Standard Lesson

| Sunnyvale, CA, USA | Ignoring/Inattentive, Teachers

(In high school, we have a sub who is known for being not very smart and refusing to listen to anyone. The class we have her for on this day is a business simulation class that involves each of us having our own “job” within the “company,” mine being finance manager. This means there are no lesson plans but the teacher has to put something, so he just writes to make sure one student that writes their graduation speech. The sub doesn’t understand this, though, and this occurs as I am doing my job.)

Sub: “Are you in the class?”

Me: “Uh, yeah.”

Sub: “Then why are you not doing the assignment?”

Me: “What assignment? My job is to manage the finances.”

Sub: “Your teacher has instructed you to write a speech for the graduation tryout tomorrow.”

Me: “But I’m not even graduating this year. I’m only a junior. It’s [Student] that’s writing the speech.”

Sub: “Well, you should do it anyway. It’s good practice.”

Me: *fully aware it’s not worth arguing with her* “Okay. Fine.” *opens up Word document just so she’ll go away*

Sub: “Good job.”

(She then proceeded to move on to the next kid who’s is seated a few seats away and is also doing his job.)

Sub: “Are you in this class?”

Me: *eye roll*

(She did this to every student and had the exact same conversation. It was a tiny class in a huge room so everybody was not within earshot of each other. By the time she made it to the student that actually needed to write the speech, he was done.)

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