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The Sky Is The Limit Of What Mother Will Tolerate

| Allentown, PA, USA | Math & Science, Parents, Teachers

(This conversation happens in my seventh-grade science class.)

Teacher: “The sky has no limit, therefore it is impossible to see the end of it.”

Classmate: “That’s not true! I’ve seen the end of the sky!”

Teacher: “No you haven’t, because it’s physically impossible.”

Classmate: “Yes, I have!”

Teacher: “Oh, really? So if I called your mom right now and told her that you saw the end of the sky, what do you think she would say?”

Classmate: “Probably something along the lines of, ‘Why the h*** are you calling me at work for that?’”

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Not Saved By The Bell

, | USA | Bad Behavior, Students, Time

(At my college library at closing time, we signal by pressing a bell at 15 minutes, 10 minutes, and then 5 minutes to close. There are always two people on closing shift: one person stays at the checkout counter to help people check out books and the other person walks around the floors, politely reminding everyone that it’s time to leave. One night, after I have rung the 15 minute and 10 minute warning bells, a girl storms up to the checkout counter.)

Girl: “Someone up there keeps ringing a bell. You need to make them stop. It’s very loud and I’m trying to study!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I did. That’s our closing warning bell. We’re closing for the night in 10 minutes. Please pack up your books to leave.”

Girl: “Humph! Well, you shouldn’t make it so loud. I have a test to study for!”

(Guess who made me and my shift-mate 10 minutes late to close that night while she packed up her books?)

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The Volkswagen McCartney

| NJ, USA | Musical Mayhem

(I overhear this conversation:)

Student #1: “Who is your favorite Beatle?”

Student #2: “Isn’t that a type of car?”

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At Least They Got Out Of Their Shell

| GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Pets & Animals, Students

(I go to an animal studies university. The teacher is talking to us about a visitor coming in later that week.)

Teacher: “A friend of mine will be coming in on Tuesday to teach us about turtle extraction devices.”

Student: “Um… Um…”

Teacher: “Yes, [Student]?”

Student: “Yeah, so how do turtles die?”

Teacher: “Well, they can suffocate on shrimp fishing nets, or get caught in them.”

Student: “But… but… But what about the shells.”

Teacher: “They can still die.”

Student: *now obviously worked up* “BUT THE SHELLS! THE SHELLS!”

(I kid you not, this kid runs out of the class, screaming.)

Student: “THE SHELLS!”

Class: *blank stares*

Teacher: “This is why we can’t have nice things.” *shakes head slowly*

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