That Friendship Has Extra Magic

| PA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Rude & Risque

(Everyone in the room is done with their assignments and relaxing. Student #1 has his phone out when he starts making moans that sound really Freudian in nature such as “Oh, yeah,” “Ahh…” and then this happens:)

Student #2: *gets up and walks behind him…* “[Student #1]… is that My Little Pony?”

Not Part Of The Bong Throng

| Madison, WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Dorms

(I’m a freshman, and I’ve been in the dorms for a whole day. My roommate and I, both guys, are still getting to know each other and the other people in our dorm. We have our door open, so people can come in and say hello. After dinner, a girl walks in. Our dorm is co-ed, with even floors for guys and odd floors for girls, so this isn’t too unusual. We both look up and smile, but she seems flustered.)

Girl: “Guys, we have a problem. I can’t get into too much detail, but my roommate and I had a miscommunication, and neither of us brought our bong. Can we borrow yours?”

(My roommate and I looked at each other.)

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have one.”

Girl: “Ha, ha, very funny. Please?”

Roommate: “We don’t smoke pot.”

Girl: “Guys, don’t worry, I’m not going to rat you out to the R.A. I’m not a snitch. But I really need to borrow your bong.”

Me: “We don’t have one. We don’t need one.”

(The girls look at us like we’re crazy.)

Girl: “You don’t smoke pot?”

Roommate: “No, we don’t.”

(The girl gives us both another odd look and leaves. We go back to our computers. Then a few minutes later, she reappears.)

Girl: “Are you guys SURE you don’t have a bong?”

That Actually Makes More Sense Than The Book

| OR, USA | Books & Reading, Health & Body

(We are discussing colorblindness in science class. A student, not knowing any better, asks this.)

Student: “So, is this what Fifty Shades of Gray is about?”

Class: *bursts into laughter*

(He truly didn’t know what it’s about.)

An Astronomically Small Chance Of Budging

| FL, USA | Math & Science, Teachers

(It’s the end of 11th grade, and we are picking classes for the next year. In our four core subjects, we have to get our teachers to sign off on our class choices. I’m scheduled to take multiple honors & Advanced Placement (AP) classes for everything else, so I decide to switch it up a bit for science. When I see that our school offers an astronomy class, I decide to sign up, as that’s a subject I’ve always been interested in. During class, my physics teacher calls me up to her desk to see what I’ve picked, and sign off on it. I’m usually the quiet kid who sits in the back of the classroom and doesn’t say anything.)

Teacher: “Ah, [My Name]. For you, I recommend AP Physics.”

(I HATE physics, and have struggled in it all year.)

Me: “Actually, I don’t want to take AP Physics.”

Teacher: “Oh! Well, that’s no problem. There’s also AP Biology or AP Chemistry. Which one would you like?”

Me: “I want to take Astronomy.”

Teacher: “…astronomy?!”

Me: “Yes.”

Teacher: “No.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Teacher: “No. That course is much too easy for you.”

Me: “But I like astronomy.”

Teacher: “You will be bored. I will not sign off on that.”

Me: “But—”

Teacher: “AP Physics, AP Biology, AP Chemistry. Those are your choices. Go back to your seat and think about which one you want. I’ll come back to you in five minutes.”

(I go back to my seat and fume. As I’m skimming the list of science classes, I spot Marine Biology on the list. This is something else that interests me, so I decide to use this as my backup. My teacher calls me back up…)

Teacher: *with a smug look on her face* “Okay, [My Name]. Have you come to your senses?”

Me: “Yes. I want to take astronomy.”

Teacher: “And I already told you no.”

Me: “Fine. I want to take marine biology instead.”

Teacher: “WHAT?!”

Me: “Yes.”

Teacher: “NO!”

Me: “It looks fun!”

Teacher: “It’s too easy! I’ve seen your records. You’re an excellent student, and you are too good for this!”

Me: “MAYBE I WANT AN EASY CLASS!”

(The classroom goes silent. My teacher stares at me. I fold my arms and stare back.)

Teacher: “You’re really not going to budge, are you?”

Me: “Nope.”

Teacher: *heavy sigh* “Fine. Marine biology. You’re going to regret this.”

(I march back to my seat triumphantly. My lab partner has her head down on her desk, and is shaking with laughter.)

Me: “Did…did you hear that?”

Classmate: “The whole class heard that, and it was GREAT. I can’t believe you won…”

(I discovered a couple weeks later that I could dual enroll in college instead of going back to my high school for senior year. I elected to do this. The first science class I signed up for? Astronomy. I took the class with one of my best friends, and we loved it!)

A Sudden Surge In Students Taking Politics

| CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(We are discussing the political propositions in the state of California. One of the propositions involves the “adult film” industry — in other words, porn.)

Teacher: “How many of you are doing porn?”

(Pause.)

Teacher: “No, that’s not right.”

Entire Class: *bursts out laughing*