Drawn To Your Paper

| Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome, Homework, Teachers

(I am a creatively-oriented thinker and enjoy art; thus, I have a tendency to absentmindedly doodle on my papers. In math class, we have unit packets for notes, which are turned in at the end of each unit. The first packet I did had a “what is this” comment on one doodle, which I felt was a warning against drawing on my work. I go in for a conference with my teacher later on.)

Teacher: “So, I was looking at your most recent unit packet, and I saw that you scratched out a lot of drawings.”

Me: “…yeah?”

Teacher: “Don’t do that! After grading packet after identical packet, I love to look at them, and they’re a lot of fun.”

(We continue to talk about my grade, and the conference ends.)

Teacher: *calling to me as I leave* “Don’t erase any more drawings! Leave them on there!”

Me: “Okay, I will!”

(My day was made, especially as I thought the drawing was a problem!)

There Will Be Blood

| Melaka, Malaysia | Physical, Students

(All the students are lined up in the quad waiting for assembly to start. I am chatting to one of my classmates when my best friend, who is a prefect, walks up to us and slaps me in the face. Prefects are “good” students who are appointed to police the other students’ behaviour.)

Me: *furious* “Do you think you can slap me for talking just because you’re a prefect?”

(Without saying anything, my friend holds her hand up to reveal a large dead mosquito and some blood splatter.)

Will Teach Them To The Bitter End

| Washington, DC, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Students

(Our biology lab is discussing traits specific to certain genes. One such trait is the ability to taste phenylthiocarbamide, or PTC, which is harmless, extremely bitter chemical – but only to people with a specific genetic makeup.)

Professor: “All of you take one of these strips of paper. It’s covered with PTC, which will be horribly bitter to some of you but tasteless to others.”

Student #1: “How will we know if we can taste it? What if we aren’t sure?”

Professor: “It’s really bitter. You’ll know.”

Student #1: “But I mean, I drink black coffee. It might not affect me even if I have the right genes.”

Professor: “It’s nothing like coffee. You’ll know immediately if you’re tasting PTC or not.”

Student #1: “But how can we be SURE?”

Student #2: *has put the paper strip on his tongue* “OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! EW, EW, EW!” *spits in sink, rinses mouth* “HOLY CRAP, that was DISGUSTING!” *gagging, spitting*

Professor: “Seriously. You’ll know.”

A Lecture On Irony

| Seattle, WA, USA | Students

(I am in a lecture hall, and the teacher is going over the syllabus. The two girls in this story are sitting directly behind me.)

Teacher: “I will ask that you please refrain from talking during my lectures. It is distracting to me, to you, and to your fellow students.”

Girl #1: *whispering* “So true. If you aren’t going to pay attention, why are you here?”

Girl #2: *also whispering* “Right? Like, switch to a different class. Don’t disrupt the one we’re in.”

Girl #1: “Or just write a note, if it’s really so important. No need to be rude.”

Me: *turned to stare at both of them, not saying a word*

(They noticed me after a couple of seconds, then their eyes got a little wider and they hunched down in their seats. I turned back to the front, and neither of them said another word the rest of the lecture. The next session, I saw them sitting as far away as possible from where I was sitting.)

Coming To A Gay Conclusion

| USA | LGBTQ, Students

(I am a lesbian junior attending a fairly accepting high school. I had been in a happy, open relationship with my girlfriend for a few months at the time this occurred. We were walking out of the school holding hands when we pass a group of freshman.)

Freshman: *yelling rudely* “What are you, gay?!”

Me: *looks over shoulder at freshman and smiles* “Yes.”

Freshman: *obviously not expecting that response* “…nice.”