A Better Grade Of Answer

| USA | Lazy/Unhelpful, Teachers

(Whenever a student asks a question, the professor will respond with, “I don’t know” or “I don’t care” or “It doesn’t matter” or “That’s not important.” When the first test of the semester rolls around I answer every question on the test with “I don’t know” or “It doesn’t matter” or some other variation. My graded test comes back with an ‘F.’ I go to talk to the professor after class.)

Me: “Why did I get an ‘F’ on this test?”

Professor: “Because you didn’t answer any of the questions right.”

Me: “But whenever we ask questions in class those are the same kinds of answers you always give us.”

(The professor thought about it and agreed I had a point. He compromised by giving me a ‘C’ on the test and from then on, whenever students asked a question in class, the professor would give a real answer.)


College Is A Lottery

, | St. Louis, MO, USA | Money

Student #1: *to [Student #2]* “What would you do if you won the Powerball Lottery?”

Student #2: *thinking* “Hmm, probably pay off my college tuition. Then use the remaining seven dollars to buy myself a sandwich.”


A Shakespearean Freudian Slip

| IL, USA | Books & Reading, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(We are in ninth grade English, reading Romeo and Juliet. Each character is assigned to a student. This teacher also runs the theater program, so he has a prop closet in his classroom.)

Boy #1: “Draw thy tool! Here comes of the house of Montagues.”

Boy #2: “My naked weapon is out. Quarrel! I will back thee.”

(There are assorted snorts and giggles, and the teacher explains that this simply means he has drawn his sword. We manage to calm down and move on, until some time later…)

Teacher: “Time for a demonstration! Let me go get out my sword!” *disappears into the prop closet*

(We laughed uncontrollably for a good couple of minutes.)


You Can’t Do A Numero Uno

| IL, USA | Language & Words

(In Spanish class…)

Student #1: *leaps out of his chair* “Hey, [Teacher], can I go to the whiz palace?”

*everyone suppresses laughter, waiting for the teacher’s response*

Teacher: “¿EN ESPAÑOL?”

Student: “¿Puedo ir al whiz palace?”

Teacher: “No. Sientete.” *sit down*


Not Home Appropriate

| USA | Homework, Language & Words

(I am homeschooled. My mom is out doing Christmas shopping, leaving me to do my Spanish assignment, which is taking the verb and conjugating it. My dad comes over.)

Dad: “Hey, [My Name]. Can I help?”

Me: “Um, I guess.”

(He watches me conjugate gustar, for like.)

Dad: “Hey, that’s like that meme. Me gusta, right?”

Me: “Yes, dad.”

(The next sentence is ‘My big sister is molestar me.’ I have to conjugate the verb molestar, which means ‘to bother.’)

Dad: “HEY! Is this appropriate?!”

Me: “…”