Flush That Idea Down The Toilet

| IN, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Crazy Requests, Students, Teachers

(Our English teacher has nothing planned for the day, so she decides to explain to all us freshmen what we should do during our upcoming lockdown drill.)

Student #1: “Well, that’s all good advice if we’re in the classroom, but what if it’s during a passing period?”

Teacher: “Just duck into the nearest classroom.”

Student #1: “What if we’re in the bathroom?”

Teacher: “Well, get decent first, but be quick. Don’t stop to wash your hands or anything. If you’re really that worried about clean hands, there’s hand sanitizer in every classroom anyway.”

Student #2: “Wouldn’t the intruder hear the toilet flush and head straight for me?”

Teacher: “Don’t stop to flush the toilet.”

Student #3: “But they’re automatic. They flush the second you stand up.”

Teacher: “Okay… On second thought, don’t stand up. Don’t even move. Just… Pull your feet up and pray, I guess.” *muttering* “Why anyone ever thought those new toilets were a good investment is beyond me.”


I’m All Out Of Elbow Grease

| USA | Art/Design, Health & Body, Teachers

(I am taking a ceramics class in college. I have fibromyalgia which causes pain and stiffness in my muscles and joints. I also have a muscle disorder. This is affecting my work and causing me pain so I decide to talk to my professor. My professor is known for shouting “Elbows down! Push!”)

Me: “Hi, Professor. I’m still having trouble with my work. I think it is because I can’t physically put my elbows down and it is hard to push. I have a muscle condition and fibromyalgia.”

Professor: “So, do you want to stop?”

Me: “No, I’ll keep trying.”

Professor: “Okay, you go back and I will come see.”

(I return to my space and restart working, even though it is painful.)

Professor: *exasperated* “Elbows down! Push!”


Making You Feel Like A Plumbum

| TX, USA | Language & Words, Math & Science

(I am in an advanced chemistry class towards the end of the year. We are going over lead, for which the atomic symbol is ‘Pb.'”)

Student: “What element is Pb?”

Teacher: “That’s lead.”

Student: “Wait, what’s a peeb?”