Murder 101

| IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Students

(In English class, a student is talking with another student about murder. The teacher walks up to them.)

Teacher: “You can’t stab [Student #1]!”

Student #2: “What if he killed my mom?”

Teacher: “Then I’LL deal with him.” *glares at [Student #1]*


Women Keep Their Distance From Republicans

| TN, USA | Bigotry, Politics, Students

(In my first year at university I had to take a required English class. It basically consisted of us focusing the whole semester on writing one large paper about a topic we chose at the beginning, and at the end we are to sit at the front of the class and read it verbatim for our peers to critique. My topic is women in politics, and I mostly get positive feedback, except for this gem.)

Male Student: “I suggest removing the words ‘woman,’ ‘female,’ and ‘Republican’ from your essay as they might distance the audience.”



| DuPage County, IL, USA | Math & Science, Religion

(I’m in geometry class, and we are reviewing the names of different polygons with partners.)

Partner: *pointing at shapes on the worksheet* “Rectangle… triangle… pentagram.”

Me: “Uh… I think you mean a pentaGON, because… well, I’m pretty sure a pentagram means something else.”


The Civil Wrong Movement

| IA, USA | Exams/Tests, Extra Stupid, History

(We have just finished a test in my American history class about the Civil Rights movement.)

Girl: *to her friend* “Man, that last question was hard! I couldn’t remember which came first, the Civil Rights movement or the Civil War!”


System 666 Error

| Escondido, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Religion, Technology

(My school’s robotics team is getting ready to attend a demo at one of our sponsors, BAE Systems. We are testing out our robots before we pack them up. One of our mentors enables the robot and picks up the joystick. I do not usually drive the robots, especially this robot, which has a different wheel base.)

Mentor: “Woah, there’s a serious delay! That’s not good…”

Me: “Here, can I try?”

(The second she hands me the joystick, the robot starts to twitch, even though I’m not actually touching the stick.)

Me: “Uh…”

Teammate: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m not touching it!”

(The robot then speeds across the room into an obstacle we had built and stops dead. Everyone goes completely silent and looks at me.)

Me: “Does anybody know a priest?”