Depressingly True

| AZ, USA | Funny Names, History

(I am in my Musical Theatre class, and the teacher has just played a song from the musical Annie (“We’d Like to Thank You, Herbert Hoover”). I don’t know Student #1 very well, but Student #2 is very sassy, dramatic, and he is sometimes disrespectful.)

Teacher: “So, this musical actually takes place in the Depression.”

Student #1: “The Great Depression?”

Student #2: *sitting directly behind her* “What other depressions are there?”

(Student #1 turns around, looks Student #2 in the eye, and points to herself.)

Student #2: “ME!”

(Cue a fit of giggles from myself and the rest of the class, except Student #2.)

Teach By Example

| New York, NY, USA | Spouses & Partners, Students

(I am a teacher at a school for students with autism. The speech teacher relayed this story to me.)

Student: “Wait, you’re married?”

Speech Teacher: “Yep. I even have a kid.”

Student: “How long have you been married?”

Speech Teacher: “Three years.”

Student: “Oh, so you’re ready for a new wife, then.”

These Days Everything Is Made In China

| FL, USA | History

(This is an Honors US History class with sophomores and juniors. Please note that there is a Chinese exchange student in my class. We are learning about the Industrial Revolution in America.)

Question: “Choose three essential inventions that changed our world. They can be from any time period.”

(The Chinese student presents her inventions.)

Chinese Student: “Gunpowder, sunglasses, paper.”

Me: *whispering to the kids behind me* “Did you realize that these inventions were Chinese inventions?”

Coasting Through Your Accents

| Chicago, IL, USA | Language & Words, Teachers

(It’s Drama class, and we are assigned a project where we partner up and write a sketch. I’m actually pretty proud of my handiwork and we perform it for the class. I should note that although I have some vocal tics (I speak faster than most and have a slightly nasally voice) I have no discernible accent. After we’re done, I get this note…)

Drama Teacher: “Good job, [My Name]. I liked the writing and your timing. But could you run it once more without the stupid East Coast accent?”

Me: “[Drama Teacher]… This is how I’ve always talked.”

(He’d known me for three years!)

BUILD THAT FIREWALL!

| USA | Teachers, Technology

(The professor is talking about computers.)

Professor: “I’m not a technology native like you all are. I’m a technology immigrant.”