Graduated On A Knife-Edge

| VA, USA | Staff, Teachers

(I work part-time as a computer technician for my former school district while attending a local college. This job sends me to all 19 of our schools, including the schools I attended as a child, where most faculty still know me. On a Monday morning I respond to several work orders at my former high school, from where I graduated less than two years before the day in question. While working in the library workroom on student tablets, the Spanish teacher that I had as a freshman comes in to use a copier. I see her take a toner cartridge box down from the shelf.)

Me: “Is the copier out of toner?”

Teacher: “Yes, but [Librarian] has taught me how to put a new cartridge in, so I’m doing that now.”

Me: *noticing teacher having difficulty breaking the tape with her fingernails* “Here, let me help you with that.” *pulls out pocket knife and cuts the tape on the box*

Teacher: “Oh, thank you!”

Me: “You know, five years ago, you would have written me up for pulling that out here.”

Teacher: “Five years?! It’s been that long?!”

Me: “Yes, five years ago I was a freshman in your class. And now I’m allowed to carry a knife. Now you have a good day.”


An Imaginative Excuse

| ND,  USA | Books & Reading, Non-Dialogue

I am in first grade art class, my favorite. I sit down with my circle of friends at the table and we find envelopes. They end up being full of little weird shapes with triangles and octagons and it is super weird.

The art teacher says we are young and need to try to use the creativity we have. I am very bad at math but great at art and I set to work with my glue stick and all, and make a village with my weird shapes. Most just did small objects that were simple like balls and trees. I made a village with trees and a sun.

Later my mom was called in for me being “too imaginative” and to have me step back because I was making the other kids feel bad with having such special skills.


Need To Re-Sequence Your Answer

| MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(We are discussing conspiracy theories about the deaths of celebrities. We get to the part about the autopsies.)

Teacher: “Technology wasn’t very advanced back then so we couldn’t be certain about what actually caused the death of people.”

Student: “When did they invent DNA?”


This Was A Bad Idea

| NY, USA | Ignoring/Inattentive, Teachers

(I receive a low grade on an English class essay. I go talk to the graduate student who teaches the class.)

Instructor: “This is all what I say in class. Don’t you have any original ideas of your own?”

(After the next assignment, I again receive a low grade on the essay; I go talk to her again.)

Instructor: “Where’s what I say in class? Don’t you listen in class?”


Stay Smartly Silent

| USA | History, Teachers

(Our Russian literature professor is giving us a biography of Lydia Chukovskaya.)

Professor: “Matvei Bronstein, her husband, was a genius theoretical physicist. He was arrested and then executed six months later.”

Student #1: “[Professor], why was he arrested? I mean what was the charge?”

Student #2: *incredulously* “It was the Soviet Purges. They didn’t need a reason. He was smart?”