Ultimate Knowledge Of Ultimate Frisbee

| Buckinghamshire, England, UK | Popular, Sports, Students, Teachers

(In the UK, Ultimate Frisbee is not popular at school, but our all-girls school has produced teams who have played at nationals and four girls who played for Great Britain in the three years I was playing, but only one of the PE teachers cares about the sport and the team. We are currently being taught Ultimate Frisbee by two teachers from outside the school but I am the only team member in this class.)

Teacher #1: “It’s okay, if the Frisbee hits the floor, your team still can pick it up.”

Me: “Wait, that’s not right. The other team gets it.”

Teacher #1: “Oh, really? I didn’t know that.”

Teacher #2: *rudely* “How do you know?”

Me: “I play Frisbee with the school; I’ve played at a national tournament.”

(The game carries on but the other team is clearly cheating, which I keep on pointing out and the teachers clearly do not know the rules.)

Teacher #1: “We’re the teachers here!”

Me: “Yeah, but you don’t seem to know how to play! Plus, where did you get these Frisbees from? They’re way too light and definitely not regulation. They’re kids’ Frisbees!”

Teacher #1: *smugly* “Oh, so do you have regulation Frisbees?”

(I went to the sports cupboard in the gym and dragged out a huge sack of regulation GB team Frisbees gifted to us from the GB team. The teachers were stunned and I had to teach the rest of the lesson. They complained to one of the regular PE teachers but luckily it was the teacher who cared about the team so they stood up for me!)

Hung Up On Definitions

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(We are analysing cartoons in a history class.)

Teacher: “How would you describe the soldier in this cartoon?”

Friend: *not quite loud enough for the teacher to hear* “Well-hung.”

Me: *chuckles, thinking they are joking as it a serious cartoon of a WW I soldier*

Friend: “What?”

Me: *stunned* “What do you think well-hung means?”

Friend: “Doesn’t it just mean physically fit?”

Me: “Uh…”

I Say Potato You Say Potatograph

| Thornhill, ON, Canada | Language & Words, Teachers

Teacher: “Now let’s take a look at this phatogragraph.” *points at a photograph*

Whole Class: “Don’t you mean photograph?”

Teacher: *looking puzzled* “Are you sure that’s right?”

(The class laughs and looks it up in the dictionary and shows her.)

Teacher: “Hmm, odd; let’s continue.”

A Perfect Photo Finish

| Boca Raton, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular, Staff

(My class goes on a field trip to clean the Everglades, and a photographer comes with us to take pictures.)

Me: “Uh oh, looks like rain.”

Photographer: “Huh, I think you’re right.”

(A few minutes later it begins pouring rain.)

Me: *looking around* “Where is the photographer?”

Student: “I can’t see him either.”

Other Student: “I think he left.”

Student: “He wouldn’t do that.”

(We spent 20 minutes looking for him in the pouring rain, but he did, in fact, leave without telling us. A week later he came to our class again to take pictures, because he didn’t the last week. Our professor told him to come back in 20 minutes, waited 10, then dismissed the entire class.)

Girl Power

| USA | Family & Kids, LGBTQ, Popular

(I’m volunteering in a kids reading group and I read a children’s story about family and love to a 4-6 year old girl. I’m female and have a girlfriend.)

Girl: “Do you have a family?”

Me: “Yes, I do. I have parents.”

Girl: “Do you have a husband or children?”

Me: “Not yet.”

Girl: “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Me: “Well… yes?”

Girl: “Is he kind?” *description of husband in book*

Me: “Yes.”

Girl: “Is he tall?” *another description of husband in book*

Me: “Not really.”

Girl: “What do you like about him?” *wife in book answers this with what her husband does around the house and his hobbies*

Me: “He can cook and likes to sing and make jewelry.”

Girl: “Really?”

Me: “Yes.”

Girl: “He sounds like a girl.”

Me: *pause* “Oh. I guess so.”

Girl: “But boys can do that. And girls can do boy things, too.”

Me: “Yes, that is very true.”

Girl: “Girls can also love girls and boys can also love boys, too.”

Me: *stunned* “You know about that?”

Girl: “Yeah. It’s called gay.”

Me: “Oh, wow. In that case, actually I don’t have a boyfriend. I have a girlfriend.”

Girl: *very loudly* “You are gay!”

(This attracted the attention of several people nearby, including the group leader. I sort of got in trouble because most youngsters don’t understand the issue, especially as some parents are uncomfortable, but after explaining how this came about it was understood. I later met the girl’s parents and found out the family was actually very open about these things.)