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Making A Complete Asperger Of Themself

| Birmingham, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bigotry

(All R.S. students in my year are taking a day trip. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, which is a mild form of autism that hinders my social abilities. My friends end up at the back of the bus, five in a row. I sit in front of them with another friend. One friend has the habit of calling people autistic when they do something stupid.)

Friend #1: *randomly says something dumb*

Friend #2: “AUTISM!”

Me: *whips head around to stare at him* “Yes, you called?”

(Everyone broke out laughing, including him, as he tried to explain himself. I wasn’t offended and found the whole thing hilarious.)

Blind To Your Blindness

| Retford, England, UK | Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Teachers

(No one likes the chemistry teacher because of her ignorance. We are currently doing an experiment where two chemicals are mixed together to make different colors. We are expected to remember what chemicals are mixed to get each colour.)

Student: “Miss, I’m colorblind.”

Teacher: “Well, just remember what it looks like, then.”

Student: “But they all look the same.”

Teacher: “Just remember, then!”

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Avoiding Drama

| MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Teachers

(The drama teacher is a lot more laid-back and far more sarcastic than the average teacher. His classroom is on one end of the school buildings, well away from all the rest, right next to the parking lot, and he knows a good percentage of those of us with cars are sneaking out for lunch if we can avoid the parking lot patrol.)

Drama Teacher: *lunch bell ringing* “Hey, who’s going out for lunch today?” *pointing at raised hands* “Where are you going? You? You?” *waves cash at chosen student* “Okay, I want a [Sandwich], fries, and a chocolate shake, and if you get caught I don’t know you. Get out, all of you.”

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During Science Their Head Was In The Clouds

| Germany | Art/Design, Extra Stupid, Teachers

(Our art teacher hands out to everyone a black and white photo of a pretty normal landscape with some grass hills, mountains, a few clouds, and an otherwise clear sky. Our task is to repaint the landscape realistically with water colors, emphasis on ‘realistically.’ After a few hours of work, the first students come to her to turn in their finished drawings.)

Teacher: “Yes, it looks quite good so far, but you all forgot one thing. The clouds need a taint of green on the bottom.”

Students: “Why?”

Teacher: “Because the green grass gets reflected in the clouds.”

(Even trainee teacher who was there at that time agreed with her, so most students reluctantly started adding green taints to the clouds to not risk a worse grade. I, as a passionate scientist, came up to her.)

Me: “Excuse me, but could you please come with me to the window?”

Teacher: “Sure.”

(At the window I pointed at the clouds outside.)

Me: “What color do those clouds have in your eyes?”

Teacher: “Oh, I get what you mean. But of course those are not green. They are over the city, not over grass.”

Me: “Shouldn’t they be tainted red, then? Because 99% of the roofs in the city are red?”

Teacher: “Oh, you see, it’s not the red roofs that get reflected in the clouds, but the grey streets.”

(At this point, I just gave up on arguing with her and added some green taint to the underside of the clouds for a better grade. Others were already finishing that part and wanted to turn in their revised drawings.)

Teacher: “Yeah, looks much better now. But you all should also add some blue taints in some spots of the grass.”

Students: “Why?”

Teacher: “Because the blue sky gets also reflected in the grass.”

(And that point, I couldn’t reconcile it with my scientific conscience anymore and just turned my drawing it, not caring about my grade. Needless to say, I dropped art class as soon as I could.)

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“Thank You” For The Grade

| Dallas, TX, USA | Language & Words

(Spanish class.)

Teacher: “All right, everyone, here are your assignments from last week.”

(She passes them out: an assignment where we had to write a letter to a friend in Spanish. I see that, very unusually for me, I got a ‘B’.)

Me: “Profesora, you marked off because I didn’t start with ‘Dear So-and-So,’ but the instructions say to begin with a thank you.”

Teacher: “I know, but you should always begin a letter by saying ‘Dear person.’”

Me: “But the instructions say to begin with a thank you.”

Teacher: “Yes, but you should always begin a letter with a salutation.”

Me: “Yes, I know to start a letter by saying ‘Dear person,’ and the only reason I didn’t do it that way is because of the instructions.”

(One other student, who had done the same thing, and I ended up staying after class to try to argue the point. The teacher kept saying, “We’ll just have to agree to disagree!” and I kept saying, “Fine, we disagree, but can I have the points? Since I made the mistake because I was following the directions?” She wouldn’t budge.)