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What A Strange(love) Answer

| Duncan, BC, Canada | Awesome, Exams/Tests

(I am in 10th-grade English class, taking a test on the novel we just finished reading, when I start chuckling.)

Teacher: “Something funny?”

Me: “Question 25, answer D.”

(Question 25: What was the moral of the story? Answer D: That having a nuclear bomb dropped on your head is not a fun way to spend your day.)

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Oh, The Horror!

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Books & Reading, Language & Words, Teachers

(I am in high school and have been given an assignment where we have to write a story about anything we want. I write a horror story about a man who’s being stalked. About a week after I give it to my teacher, she asks me to stay after class.)

Me: “What did you want to tell me?”

Teacher: “I read that story you wrote. Are you okay?”

Me: “What?”

Teacher: “Who’s hurting you?”

Me: “No one.”

Teacher: “Are you being stalked?”

Me: “No.”

Teacher: “Tell the truth.”

Me: “I’m fine. It was just a story.”

Teacher: “Is there someone you don’t like? Someone who makes you angry?”

Me: “No, absolutely not!”

Teacher: “I don’t believe you. Stay here. I need to make a phone call.”

(About ten minutes later the cops show up)

Cop: “What’s the problem here?”

Teacher: “It’s [My Name]. He’s clearly depressed or insane. He’s planning something. I know it. Look at what he wrote.” *gives them my story*

(The cop tells the teacher to leave the room.)

Cop: “What made you decide to write this story?”

Me: “I’ve always been a fan of psychological horror and I decided to try it for myself.”

Cop: “It’s a very good story. You should ace this.”

Me: “Thanks.”

(The cops tried to talk some sense into my teacher and left. She gave me a high mark on my story but still made an appointment for me with the school counselor and threatened me with detention it I didn’t go.)

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A Spot Of Bother

| KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Bully, Students

(I have anger issues and many students find it funny to rile me up. Some underclassmen have decided they want to pester me for the entire school year and have taken to following me all over the classroom. We are a small class, so only a third of the desks are taken. The seats aren’t truly assigned, but it’s usually implied you need to stay in the same area. I switch desks often to avoid these girls, and they follow. One day I just hop desks about five times in twenty minutes. Our teacher has finally taken notice.)

Teacher: “[Student #1], [Student #2], I know that is not your assigned spot.”

Student #1: “We’re not doing anything!”

Student #2: “[My Name] gets to stay but we don’t?”

Teacher: “I’ve been watching you all day. [My Name] has only been trying to do her work in peace.”

Student #1: “That’s not fair!”

Teacher: “You know, [My Name] has problems with her temper and you continue to test her patience. When she snaps, I will not stop her.”

Students #1 & #2: *laughing*

Teacher: “You think I’m joking? I’ll open up the door and sell tickets. [My Name], what’s in this classroom?”

(I list off various chemicals, tools, and dead animals that are kept in the room.)

Teacher: “See? I think you should go back to your desks.”

(I wouldn’t have done anything, but they did leave me alone in that class for the rest of the semester.)

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Chemistry Is Slippery When Wet

| FL, USA | Awesome, Exams/Tests, Musical Mayhem

(At my school, during lunch periods, we have a bell that rings halfway through the period for the students taking classes for the first half of lunch. I’m in a chemistry class that is a lunch period with a teacher who has a very quirky sense of humor. We’re in the middle of a quiz, and the room is dead silent until the half bell rings.)

Teacher: “We’re halfway there, folks.”

(Then, without warning:)

Teacher: “OH, WE’RE HALFWAY THERE… OH! LIVIN’ ON A PRAYER!”

(Yes, the teacher belted Bon Jovi in the middle of a quiz. He then continued on like nothing happened.)

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Prove Your Perth Worth

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Exams/Tests, Geography

(We are playing a quiz game in science near the end of term. I came back to this school at the beginning of term after spending a year in Western Australia.)

Student #1: “Sir, can you ask questions about Australian geography? Like places and states?”

(Student #1 travelled around a lot of Australia – but not WA – back in primary school, so she’s confident that she’ll be able to answer the questions and get the points for her team.)

Teacher: “Okay, sure.”

(He promptly asks two questions about Western Australia, specifically about Perth. Because I lived there, I am the only one who knows the answers.)

Student #2: “Hey, that’s not fair! She lived there; of course she can answer them!”

Teacher: “But if I’d asked questions about anywhere else, that would have been okay because you would have known the answer?”