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Seems Like You’re Boredest In English, Too

| IL, USA | Language & Words, Math & Science

(I am in first grade, trying to express a concern to my teacher through a letter.)

Me: *writing* “Dear Mrs. [Name]. I think the whole entire class is all bored in math. But I am the boredest.”

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Hotdogs And Air-horns And Balls, Oh My

| VA, USA | Awesome, Bizarre/Silly, Teachers

(My math class takes place in the trailers of my high school. Each trailer has two classrooms, with a door in the thin wall that they share. My math teacher happens to be pretty laid back and also close friends with the teacher next door. During my math period, the teacher next door doesn’t have a class. This leads to these events.)

Story #1:

(My math teacher has brought in two huge packs of soda for an experiment we’re about to do.)

Math Teacher: “Okay, guys, I bought, like, 100 sodas for you so please don’t waste them. Anyway, we’re going to—”

Other Teacher: *pokes head in class through door* “Actually, I was the one who bought the sodas.” *goes back into his classroom*

Math Teacher: *opens door and shouts* “OK, WELL, I BOUGHT YOU THAT HOTDOG!” *closes door*

Other Teacher: *after a few seconds of not replying, he slowly pokes his head back in* “It was a really good hotdog…”

Story #2:

(My math teacher has decided to use an air-horn sound effect to signal when we’re out of time to do our worksheet. He plays it fairly loudly.)

Math Teacher: *plays air-horn effect*

(Then, very faintly, we hear the same sound effect coming from next door.)

Class: *silently looks at Math Teacher to see what he will do*

Math Teacher: *proceeds to spam air-horn sound effect super loudly*

Other Teacher: *does the same*

(After a while of doing this, they both eventually stop.)

Classmate: “[Math Teacher], can we all go in there and spam the sound effect on our phones?”

Math Teacher: *laughs* “No, of course not.” *thinks for a few moments* “Ok, well, maybe after class.”

(And we did exactly that.)

Story #3:

(We’re in class learning when all of a sudden we hear loud bangs from, of course, next door.)

Math Teacher: “What the heck is that?” *pokes head in other class* “Ah.”

(The class just sits there, realizing that the sounds are coming from the other teacher next door bouncing a ball against the wall.)

Math Teacher: *grabs a golf ball and a putter from a shelf, along with a plastic cup, and heads next door; he then returns, smiling* “There we go. That should be better.”

(Cue the sounds of a golf ball rolling around and a lot of ” THAT’S BULL-S***” for the rest of the class.)

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You’re A Vision Of Balance

| FL, USA | Health & Body

(I suffer from ocular migraines, which often leave me partially or totally blind in my right eye for the duration of the migraine. It’s a difficult sensation to describe, because sometimes I feel like I can see out of the eye but my brain doesn’t ‘register’ what I am seeing.)

Me: “Excuse me, [Teacher]? May I go to the nurse to get my migraine medicine? My head is killing me.”

Teacher: “Sure thing. Do you need someone to help you?”

Me: “No, I’m good. No vision issue this time.” *makes a grab for the hall pass*

Teacher: “You’re off by a foot, [My Name].” *holds the pass up on my left side*

Me: “Ah! Got it!” *turns around for the door and takes a few steps before whacking my hip on a lab table*

Teacher: “Oh-kaay! [Student], go with her, please. The stairs are on the right.”

Me: “Thank you…”

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He’s Not Ready To Learn Victoria’s Secret

| NSW, Australia | Field Trip, Rude & Risque

(I am a trainee teacher on an excursion with the high school I’m currently placed at. We are on an excursion to see a musical, in a theatre that happens to be located within a shopping complex. Many of shops’ staff are walking around advertising their products. A lingerie model walks past, obviously advertising for a particular store. Her outfit includes a g-string, and her buttocks are therefore exposed.)

Male Year-Eight Student: *in a very loud, shocked voice* “SHE’S GOT HER BUM OUT!”

Teacher: *scolds student for behaviour*

(Meanwhile, I and the other teachers had to refrain from laughing and put on serious expressions.)

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Named And Shamed

| Seven Oaks, Kent, England | Bad Behavior, Teachers

(My given name is Elisabetta but it’s always been shortened to Lissi (rhymes with kissy). We’ve had a new maths teacher for about five weeks and he has, so far, called me Lisa, Lucy, Alicia, and about six other names, even though I’ve repeatedly told him my name. His name is – let’s say Mr Jones.)

Teacher: “So, Leanna, can you tell us the answer to #4…? Leanna…? Umm, Melissa?”

Rest Of Class: “LISSI!”

Me: “Sorry, Mr James. I didn’t realise you were talking to me.”

(Variations of this keep happening and, each time he gets my name wrong, I do it back to him. This goes on for another month until he finally snaps.)

Teacher: “Elizabeth, do you really think I don’t know what you’re doing…? Elizabeth…? That’s it! Headmaster. Now!”

(So we go see the headmaster, who has been my headmaster for four years. The teacher tells him I’m rude and a troublemaker.)

Headmaster: “What’s the problem? You’ve never been brought to me before.”

Me: “Ask Mr. Jackson my name.” *the headmaster looks confused* “Go on. Ask Mr. Jameson what my name is.”

Headmaster: “What is going on? Mr. Jones, what is this girl’s name?”

(The teacher just looks from me to the headmaster for a bit before shrugging.)

Teacher: “I’m sorry, I just can’t remember. YOU know what it’s like. I can’t be expected to know all of their names.”

Me: “He hasn’t got my name correct once. If he can’t show me the most common curtesy of calling me by my name then I don’t see why I should have to do it to him.”

Teacher: “How dare you talk to me like that?! I have over 100 names to remember. I will not—”

Headmaster: “I believe Lissi’s right. Respect is earnt, not doled out automatically, especially from teenagers. If you can’t show her the most basic sign of respect and get her name right by now, then there’s nothing I can do to force it from her. I suggest you learn her name, Mr. Jones, and start treating her like a vital part of our school.”

(It only took him two more lessons — and being called Mr. Phones & Mr. Bones — for him to start calling me by my name.)