Passed The Class On A Wing And A Sphere

| WI, USA | Art/Design, Teachers

(For our painting class, we’ve been tasked with choosing a historical piece of art and a thematic word from which to draw inspiration for our final project. I chose ‘The Lament For Icarus’ by Herbert Draper and the word ‘instability.’ My proposal included a winged person, because I wanted to draw from the story of Icarus and the massive scale of the wings in relation to people in ‘The Lament For Icarus.’ The day we give proposals, he happens to have his ten-year-old niece visiting the studio for the day.)

Professor: *disapprovingly, looking at the sketch I did for my proposal* “This, this is very… fantasy-novel cliché. You know what I mean? It looks like the cover of a fantasy novel.”

Me: “Um… okay. You mean, like, the composition or colors?”

Professor: “No, no. The winged person. That’s cliché.”

Me: “Well, I wanted to evoke a similar feel as The Lament For Icarus, and wanted to use the physical wings to express the mental state of the subject.” *all of which I had explained in the written portion of the proposal*

Professor: “The wings are fine. It’s the person that’s cliché. You could get rid of the person and replace it with… a black sphere.”

Me: “O… kay.”

(The next two proposals? Two boys who both independently decided that for the theme ‘nostalgia,’ they wanted to paint baseballs. Neither of them had an artistic reference/inspiration, sketch, a written portion, or a composition. The professor thought their proposals were great. The next day, he tells me:)

Professor: “My niece really loved your proposal. She wouldn’t stop talking about it. She thought the winged person was really cool.”

(He still made me replace the person with a black sphere. He absolutely loved the final project and went on and on about how symbolic and deep the sphere was. He still gave me an A-. I would’ve rather impressed the niece.)

Don’t Have A Cow, Ma’am

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Parents, Popular

(I am a kindergarten teacher.)

Student: “Mr. [My Last Name], where does milk come from?”

Me: “The milk we drink comes from a cow.”

(The next day a get an angry call from a student’s mother.)

Mom: “How dare you lie to my child!”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but what is this about?”

Mom: “You told my son that milk comes from a cow!”

Me: “That is true.”

Mom: “But it comes from a carton!”

What A Silly Little Third Reich

| Portland, OR, USA | History

(My class is doing our final discussion on the genocide, the conversation has brought its way around to why the German people followed Hitler. When it is my turn, I seem very professional and knowledgeable, until I get to the end.)

Me: “I think that people began to follow Hitler because the people that were higher up followed him first. Like a trend in high school. Like when someone popular wears something and soon everyone is wearing it. Like in elementary school when everyone began wearing and trading silly bands.”

(Pause.)

Other Student: “Did you just compare Hitler to silly bands?”

The Class Produced Several Successful Papers

| Australia | Awesome, Math & Science

(I am in science class, and as a part of our unit on the environment and the carbon footprint, our class is given a massive stack of paper in order to make signs for the classroom, like “Remember to turn of the lights as you leave.” And like normal 14 year-olds, this quickly transforms into a full-on paper plane battle/competition between students. As we were pelting paper planes at each other:)

Student: “Sir, shouldn’t we be learning or doing something science related?”

Teacher: “We are. This counts as physics.”

Third Time Lucky

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Geography, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem, Students

(I’m an overseas student from a third-world country studying in Melbourne, Australia, but I grew up in an international school and have a thick American accent and way of life. After introducing ourselves to the class on our first day, the teacher showed us a famous music video for our media class.)

Teacher: “So, did you all notice anything special about this music video?”

(Class is silent.)

Teacher: “Did you all notice anyone famous from another… industry?”

Me: “I think Ron Jeremy was in it.”

Teacher: *points at me* “There you go! There! A girl from a third-world country knows about Ron Jeremy and none of you do?”