Category: Students

Hogwarts Kitchen Staff

, | Tacoma, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Students, Time

(As some of the cafeteria ‘stations’ close earlier than others, my coworker is starting to pack up the extra food for the night. As she is doing this, a student approaches her.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, we’re closed.”

Student: *points at the food she’s packing away* “Food.”

Coworker: “Um…”

Student: “There’s still food.”

Coworker: “Closed. We’re still closed.”

(The student let out an exasperated sigh and walked away. What, did they think the food just magically vanished the instant that the station closed or something?)

Karma Travels At Righteous Velocities

| CA, USA | Bully, Students

(I’m subbing in a seventh grade class. The kids have finished what they were assigned, and are getting a little noisy. I am watching the class finish up their assignment when I see something get thrown.)

Me: *to student I saw throw it* “Please pick that up.”

(The student gets up, and throws it away. A few minutes later, I see him throw something else.)

Me: “Please pick that up. And stop throwing things.”

(A few minutes later.)

Student: “Ouch! Something hit me! What was that?”

Me: “Karma.”

Trying To Be The Ruler Of The Class

| USA | Bad Behavior, Students

(We are in a pre-calc class of all sophomores — it’s an accelerated math and science program. The teacher hands out rulers to the class so we can graph what we’re working on.)

Student #1: “Hey, [Student #2]! Pass us the rulers!”

Student #2: “Wait one second… there!”

(Student #2 shows that he has made the rulers into Wolverine claws.)

Student #3: *rubs the rulers together as if to make fire*

Teacher: “Sometimes I forget you all are sophomores… and then you do this.”

X-tra Stupid

| Madison, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Students, Technology

(While finishing my Master’s in 2009, I am volunteering at an academic conference. My job is to make sure organize the presenters’ files, and to run our audio recording software that syncs with PowerPoint. It is the lunch break.)

Me: “Hello, everybody. I’m sorry but we are having a problem with our recording software. It doesn’t work with the newer PPTX format so could you please convert your slides into PPT and re-submit them? Thank you.”

(Shortly afterward, another student comes up to me.)

Student: “I was trying to convert my PowerPoint into PPT like you said, so I deleted the X at the end of the filename, but now it won’t open at all.”


| Fairborn, OH, USA | Food & Drink, Students

(I am placed in an advanced English class. I do well, but due to an undiagnosed attention disorder, I forget to turn in assignments, so I get a ‘C’ grade in the class. In the fourth quarter, my teacher pulls me aside to talk about my grades.)

Teacher: “[My Name], please try to remember the extra credit. I really want you to get a ‘B’ so you can take French next year, like you want.”

Me: “Yes, Mrs. [Teacher]. I’ll try to remember.”

Teacher: “Good.”

(Later, she is talking about the extra credit assignments for the unit.)

Teacher: “Now as you can see, these are simple assignments. The only thing simpler is trying to bribe me with candy!”

(Somehow, I take this to heart and go home to tell my parents that I’ll get extra credit for candy. The next day, I bring in five giant bags of M&Ms, placing them on my teacher’s desk.)

Teacher: “What is this?”

Me: “You mentioned bribing you for extra credit, so…”

Teacher: “I’ll see what I can do.”

(Sure enough, my grade jumped from a ‘C’ to an ‘A’. When I visited her the year she retired, she told me about the giant candy bar she made from the M&Ms I brought in! I’ve since never bribed a teacher for a passing grade.)

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