Category: Students


Totally Wired For This Drill

| USA | Physical, Students

(We are in class discussing an upcoming lockdown drill. We’re told that when the lockdown starts, we have to crouch down along the wall by the door.)

Student #1: “But if someone’s in the building, they can look through the door window and see all our backpacks and stuff.”

Student #2: “If there ever is a real lockdown, we should set up a trip wire.”

Student #3: “Yeah, and someone should wait by the door with a textbook to slam down when the guy trips over the wire.”

Teacher: “You three should be in charge of lockdown drills.”


Stupidly Obnoxious

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Students

(My friend is called to the office, so the teacher sends her down. Another student starts making jokes about this.)

Teacher: “I should send you to the office, too.”

Student: “Why?!”

Teacher: “For being obnoxious.”

Student: “How am I obnoxious?!”

Teacher: “You’re making smart remarks.”

Student: “They aren’t smart; they’re stupid!”

Teacher: “The fact that you know it’s stupid and yet you say it anyway is what makes it obnoxious!”


Graduate To A High-er Class

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Students

(My classmates and I walk into our tutorial room and see that there is still writing on the chalkboard from the lesson before. It says, “Class outside! (315) Bring the goods.” This leads to the following joking conversation.)

Me: “Wow, class outside sounds fun.”

Classmate #1: “What do you think ‘Bring the goods’ means? The period at the end makes it seem so sinister.”

Classmate #2: “Ooh, I wonder if they were bringing drugs?”

Classmate #3: “I bet that will be us when we get to the upper level courses. We’ll need to relax after all that stress.”

Me: “See, I read that and I thought ‘cookies.'”

Classmate #3: “We’re in university!”

Me: “Fine, brownies, then.”

Classmate #3: “You know they’ll be pot brownies, right?”

Me: “Of course.”

Classmate #2: “What about 315?”

Classmate #1: “That’s the class number.”

Classmate #3: “Or maybe that’s what they owe for the drugs.”

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