Category: Students

An Animal That Controls Detentions

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Students

(Our school is known be being very wacky and lenient towards our seniors. For reasons unknown, all the seniors decide to do a sort of “themed day.” For example, one year, everyone would dress like an animal, and another year, they would all wear all black. For some reason, this year is tourist and they are all walking around campus pretending to be a group of foreigners. This occurs when the entire group walks into a classroom where the teacher is widely hated by both students and staff.)

Senior: *points at teacher* “Hey, [Tour Leader], what kind of animal is that?”

(Cue 84 people going “OOOH” with much laughter from us and the students in that class. This is the story of how our school handed out almost 100 detentions in a single day.)

Roy G Biv Is Disappointed In You

| Singapore | Extra Stupid, Students

(Our task during our pastoral lesson is to draw/write on a blank sheet of paper what equality means to us, meaning the different types of equality, e.g. gender, religion, etc.)

Friend #1: “I’m going to do the LGBT pride flag. What are the colours?”

Me: “Oh, just basically a rainbow.”

Friend #1: *hesitates* “Oh, so like, red…orange…?”

Me: “Yeah, the colours of the rainbow.” *pause* “You don’t know them?”

Friend #1: “Red, orange, right? Yellow, and I think… um… green?

Me: “Wait, you really don’t know?”

(I look at my other friend, but even she seems uncertain.)

Friend #2: “Red, orange, yellow… green… blue? Blue, I think.”

Me: *completely confused* “Oh… even you? Seriously? [Friend #3], you know right?”

Friend #3: “…”

Me: “…”

Friend #3: “Uh, red…?”

Friend #1: *laughs* “She’s worse than me!”

Going To Come Out Smelling Of Roses

| NY, USA | Awesome, Students

(I have PTSD, and one of my major triggers is the smell of certain perfumed body sprays. I write this in all of my class syllabuses, and make sure to tell all my students on the first day. Usually, it is not an issue at school. One semester, I am teaching an advanced class, and many of the students have taken me before, so I know them and they know me and my quirks. It’s the first day of class, and I start going over the syllabus. Suddenly, one of my returning students starts flapping her notebook in the air.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Student #1: *gestures to girl sitting beside her* “She just sprayed some body spray! I’m trying to wave it out before it gets to you!”

(Several other students near her, all ones I’ve had before, start waving their papers and notebooks, too. The poor girl in question has never taken one of my classes, and looks terribly confused.)

Girl: “Um… am I in trouble?”

Me: “No, don’t worry. I’ll explain. Thank you, guys.”

(I went on with the syllabus, but I was really touched that those students didn’t hesitate about trying to keep me safe.)

The Ingredients For Success

| VIC, Australia | Awesome, Food & Drink, Money, Students, Teachers

(I live in a very loving but poor household, and it is a constant struggle for my mother to put food on the table, and even then sometimes she isn’t able to. I’m told that for a major assignment for Home-Ec. (cooking) we have to make a meal of our choice, and buy the ingredients ourselves. I am at a complete loss with what to do. The teacher is pretty tough as well, and while I’ve never had any problems with her she knows I hang out with several students she has put in detention several times for what we perceive as trivial things. Seeing no other option, I go to the teacher during recess with some friends.)

Me: *explains financial problems*

Teacher: *without pitying or condescending tone* “That’s no problem. What were you going to make?”

Me: “Um, toffee apples from an old Woman’s Weekly guide.”

Teacher: “And have you got the ingredients list with you right now?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Teacher: “Okay, come with me.”

(She takes me and my friends to the classroom, pulls out the ingredients I need, and puts them aside for the assignment.)

Teacher: “I know the recipe says for more, but we only have three apples, so I won’t mark you down for that.”

Me: “Thank you so much. I really had no idea what I was going to do and you’re really helping me out here.”

(I’m most grateful of how calm and normal she was about the situation, and didn’t make a big deal about our family’s financial woes. Come the day of the assignment…)

Teacher: *explains basics of assignment*

Student #1: “But, miss, I can’t do this, my family is too poor! We can’t afford it!”

Student #2: “Yeah, mine, too! It’s not fair on us!”

(Everyone in the class knows they are lying, and I’m extremely offended but too embarrassed by my situation to say anything.)

Teacher: *glaring daggers* “Then why didn’t you come to me for help?! I had a student come to me who couldn’t afford the ingredients and we got it arranged for them! So you have no excuse at all!”

Students #1 & #2: *dead silent, I think mostly out of surprise, because they didn’t realise there was anyone in that bad financial situation in their class*

(I got a good mark on the assignment although the recipe didn’t turn out how I was hoping, and always held that teacher in high regard. Yes, she was a little hard-nosed, but she truly pulled through for me when I needed help and was so casual about it, like it was just another job a teacher should do. I will always remember that story fondly. I’m glad I was able to give her an example to use in her classes against slackers trying to get out of doing work.)

Thumb Dumb

| Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Students

(It’s biology class and we’re to the lesson on blood types. This is, of course, when we all get to stick a finger to draw blood and find out our blood types. Most of us handle this in the usual fashion: a few with some hesitation, a few are accustomed to the procedure and it’s no big deal to do it to ourselves. Of course, there’s the one person who just freaks out and spends the whole class period working up the nerve to cope with a little poke. But the real fun was the kid with little impulse control and that generally fails to listen to instructions.)

Kid: *after one poke* “It’s not working!”

(He pokes his finger tip again, quite deeply. Then a few more times in rapid succession.)

Other Kid: “Dude, you’re supposed to put some pressure at the base of your finger pad with your thumb.”

Kid: “Oh, yeah!” *presses thumb and suddenly his finger is gushing and dripping on the floor* “Whoah!”

(You can probably imagine how this is affecting “panic girl” and further delaying her getting the task done. Isn’t high school biology fun?)

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