Category: Students


Be Careful What Jew Say

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Students

(I work as an assistant for a university, basically doing anything and everything asked of me by students, staff, and faculty. We have a student copier. It’s a dollar to purchase a card and then you can put money on it. Most people don’t complain because printing is free to somewhat offset it. However, if they only need a couple pages, I’ve been told I can use our copier and do it for them but to judge it on a case by case basis. The only exception to this is textbooks. I am not allowed, under any circumstances, to make copies for students from textbooks. I can’t stop them from buying a copy card and doing it themselves, though. One night, I have a student come up to me and wave his textbook in my face.)

Student: “Hey, can you copy a few pages for me?”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but I’m not allowed to make copies of textbooks. You can purchase a copy card, though. It can be purchased for a dollar from the machine next to the copier in the student lounge. It’s a dollar for the actual card, and then ten cents per page.”

Student: “Are you kidding me?! Why can’t you just copy a couple pages for me. I don’t want to spend two bucks just to make some copies.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not allowed to make copies from textbooks. I could get in a lot of trouble.”

Student: “Why are you being such a Jew?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?!”

Student: “A Jew! You’re like those fat cats down in La Jolla. They’ve got a fountain!”

Me: “Sir, you really shouldn’t talk that. It’s incredibly rude and offensive.”

Student: “Screw you. This is America and I’ve got free speech. I can say it all I want.”

(He proceeds to stomp off, leaving me annoyed at his rude behavior. He returns a couple nights later.)

Student: “You done being Jewish yet?”

Me: “Sir, I will not now or EVER make you copies. You will need to purchase the card or go buy your own copier. Good night.”

(I wish I could have done more but by that time of night, there’s only me and a frail old security guard on staff to handle the students and faculty and we can’t force them to give us their names or student IDs. At least I never saw him at our location after the month ended.)


The Advertisers’ Job Here Is Done

| IN, USA | Extra Stupid, Students

(It’s tornado season. We have been on tornado lockdown since around 3:30. It’s now 5:15. We have gotten word that there have been funnel clouds sighted nearby. We are instructed to get the kids silent and back into cover position.)

Me: “[Student], turn around, put your head down, and get your hands over your head.”

Student: “Miss, I don’t want to crease my sneakers!”

Me: “Your shoes are not worth more than your life. Get your head down!”

Student: “Nuh-uh, these shoes were, like, $200.”


Looking For A Class To Get Twenty Winks

| AB, Canada | Lazy/Unhelpful, Students

(There are two class tracks you can go through: the 10/20/30 courses, which are a little more advanced and prep you for university, and the 13/23/33 courses, which focus more on practical aspects and prepare you for the real world. On the first day of English 20, the teacher explains what we can expect in the course, and one of the students jumps up out of his chair.)

Student: “Well, I’m out.” *starts heading toward the door*

Teacher: “Where are you going, [Student]?

Student: “The way you’re describing this course, I can tell right away it’s going to be too hard for me. I’m going down the hall to English 23. See ya!”

(The teacher goes pale. After the student has left.)

Teacher: “Gee, I’m not really trying to scare you off. Am I really making this course sound too difficult?”

(What always gets me was that student was hardcore into Army Cadets and a military way of life. He was always going on and on about challenging oneself, yet as soon as he was presented with an intellectual challenge, he turned and ran.)


Race Card Is Double-Sided

| GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Students

(A seventh grader, who is black, is sitting in the front office after being accused of stealing something that belonged to another student. He is waiting on his parents to come pick him up.)

Student: *muttering – verbatim* “This isn’t fair. I didn’t do nothing.” *louder* “Man, y’all are racist.”

School Safety Officer: *who is white* “Well, when your parents get here, explain what happened.”

Student: “Man, my parents aren’t gonna believe me anyway.”

School Safety Officer: “What, are they racist, too?”

(The kid stopped complaining.)


And Girls Can Be Rite

| ON, Canada | Language & Words, Students

(I hear this while we are in first grade.)

Male Student: *to female supervisor* “Boys should get a ‘C’ for ‘correct,’ and girls should get an ‘R’ for ‘wrong.’”

Supervisor: “No, boys can be wrong, too.”

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