Category: Students


Not Saved By The Bell

, | USA | Bad Behavior, Students, Time

(At my college library at closing time, we signal by pressing a bell at 15 minutes, 10 minutes, and then 5 minutes to close. There are always two people on closing shift: one person stays at the checkout counter to help people check out books and the other person walks around the floors, politely reminding everyone that it’s time to leave. One night, after I have rung the 15 minute and 10 minute warning bells, a girl storms up to the checkout counter.)

Girl: “Someone up there keeps ringing a bell. You need to make them stop. It’s very loud and I’m trying to study!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I did. That’s our closing warning bell. We’re closing for the night in 10 minutes. Please pack up your books to leave.”

Girl: “Humph! Well, you shouldn’t make it so loud. I have a test to study for!”

(Guess who made me and my shift-mate 10 minutes late to close that night while she packed up her books?)


At Least They Got Out Of Their Shell

| GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Pets & Animals, Students

(I go to an animal studies university. The teacher is talking to us about a visitor coming in later that week.)

Teacher: “A friend of mine will be coming in on Tuesday to teach us about turtle extraction devices.”

Student: “Um… Um…”

Teacher: “Yes, [Student]?”

Student: “Yeah, so how do turtles die?”

Teacher: “Well, they can suffocate on shrimp fishing nets, or get caught in them.”

Student: “But… but… But what about the shells.”

Teacher: “They can still die.”

Student: *now obviously worked up* “BUT THE SHELLS! THE SHELLS!”

(I kid you not, this kid runs out of the class, screaming.)

Student: “THE SHELLS!”

Class: *blank stares*

Teacher: “This is why we can’t have nice things.” *shakes head slowly*


Donald Trump Is Bad For The Spanish

, | CA, USA | Politics, Students

(I’m in an online Spanish class the day after US Presidential Election day, working with two other students to create a recorded phone call; this entails an answering machine and a message being left. We are unsure what to say until I just randomly spit out the first thing I think of.)

Me: “Why not just make it Donald Trump?”

Student #1: “YEEEES! And the caller can be Hillary Clinton!”

Me: “And it can just entirely be Hillary insulting Donald!”

Student #1 & #2: “Let’s do it.”

(We then write out the call in Spanish. In English it is essentially:)

Donald Trump: “Hello, you have reached the phone of Donald Trump. Leave a message after the tone, and remember MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” *beep*

Hillary Clinton: “Hello, RONALD DUMP! You are ugly and stupid and your hair is very ugly! I’m giving the phone to Bernie.”

Bernie Sanders: “Hello, Ronald Dump! It’s Bernie! You are bad for America! Very bad, bad, baaad! Goodbye, Trump. Goodbye, America. Goodbye!”

(We got a A+ on that assignment, and we got to read it in class.)


Attention Detention

| England, UK | Liars/Scammers, Students

(A group of us are sent on a course paid by the company. We all know each other so spend a lot of time together during and in between classes. The only female student loves the attention, but as the novelty wears off she starts to act differently. First it is by publicising her private life and over-acting, then it moves on to making things up. Recently she is always the victim in these stories.)

Girl: *out of nowhere* “Ugh the other day, I went to [Fast Food] place, and the guy was so rude.”

Classmate: *barely interested* “Oh, yeah?”

Girl: “The guy was so mean, just because I was a woman.”

Classmate: “What happened?”

Girl: “Right, I ordered my meal at the drive-thru, then he tells me he won’t serve me. I had to get the manager over to sort him out. He’s probably fired.”

(The whole class has turned around. Her acting is Oscar-worthy, but something pops into my head.)

Me: “Hang on, I was with you. Actually, I was the one driving! What was it? Oh, yeah, they were out of something and you had a right fit. The manager came over to calm you down and offer you something similar.”

(Thankfully the ‘stories’ stopped after that. Unfortunately her attention seeking didn’t. Despite being in a heavy industry environment, she would dress in skimpy outfits, have a string of work ‘romances,’ etc., until the attention seeking took up more time than she was supposed to be working, and eventually she was fired.)


The Ultimate Educational Crossover

| Columbus, OH, USA | Geeks Rule, Students

(I’m a teacher at a small charter school. Part of my job is to interview my homeroom students to find out their post-graduation plans. Some of my kiddos are still a little lost about what they want to do. This is not the only conversation I’ve had like this.)

Me: “Okay, now that we’ve done your evaluation, [Student], what is your career goal?”

Student: “I wanna be Spider-man!”

Me: “You’ll need a degree in chemistry to make a radioactive spider.”

Student: “…How about Batman?”

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