Category: Students

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A Spot Of Bother

| KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Bully, Students

(I have anger issues and many students find it funny to rile me up. Some underclassmen have decided they want to pester me for the entire school year and have taken to following me all over the classroom. We are a small class, so only a third of the desks are taken. The seats aren’t truly assigned, but it’s usually implied you need to stay in the same area. I switch desks often to avoid these girls, and they follow. One day I just hop desks about five times in twenty minutes. Our teacher has finally taken notice.)

Teacher: “[Student #1], [Student #2], I know that is not your assigned spot.”

Student #1: “We’re not doing anything!”

Student #2: “[My Name] gets to stay but we don’t?”

Teacher: “I’ve been watching you all day. [My Name] has only been trying to do her work in peace.”

Student #1: “That’s not fair!”

Teacher: “You know, [My Name] has problems with her temper and you continue to test her patience. When she snaps, I will not stop her.”

Students #1 & #2: *laughing*

Teacher: “You think I’m joking? I’ll open up the door and sell tickets. [My Name], what’s in this classroom?”

(I list off various chemicals, tools, and dead animals that are kept in the room.)

Teacher: “See? I think you should go back to your desks.”

(I wouldn’t have done anything, but they did leave me alone in that class for the rest of the semester.)

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Listening Will Fly You Far In Life

| England, UK | Bad Behavior, Students

(Having completed an engineering apprenticeship, my company has asked me to go to a local school to help show the students what is involved. It is a fun day out so I agree. We start by getting the students to work in teams to build something to a drawing. I am in a classroom explaining what to do. All but two are listening.)

Me: “Sorry, guys, but if you don’t listen you won’t know what to do.”

Boys: “What?”

Me: “I’m explaining what you need to do; if you don’t listen you won’t know.”

(Without even an answer, they start talking again. The class are given one hour to build. About half way through, my boss shows up and calls me aside.)

Boss: “How’s it going?”

Me: “Good, although a couple aren’t even listening.”

Boss: “Have they done anything?”

Me: *I peer around the door* “They are doing something, but I have no idea what.”

Boss: “I see them. Don’t worry about it.”

(The class finish their time and go to the hall to race the planes they’ve built. The two boys go to the start line with a box.)

Teacher: “What happened here?”

Boys: “We didn’t know what to do.”

Teacher: “Was it too hard for you?”

Boss: “Sorry to interrupt, but these two lads were too busy gluing things to their own hands to actually listen.”

Teacher: “Oh! Well, go on, you two. Race your plane.”

(I will never forget the two lads who had to throw this brick of paper and straws in an effort to fly the farthest. Next time, listen!)

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Gives New Meaning To The Test Being ‘Hard’

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Exams/Tests, Rude & Risque, Students

(In my English class, marks for our midterms are posted on the wall of the classroom but to keep them confidential our teacher has let us pick nicknames to use on the list. You are not supposed to let anyone know what your nickname is and it’s only supposed to be used for the grade list. One day, not even close to midterms, my teacher is handing back tests.)

Teacher: “I don’t know who this test belongs to. Whoever did this test wrote Megapenis in the name space.”

(Class laughs.)

Student: “Oh, that’s mine. You told us to give you fake names for the test.”

Teacher: “You were supposed to make up a name to be used on the list of midterm grades which I will post on the wall next month. It’s supposed to be confidential. Stay here after class and tell me a different nickname.”

(The bell rang and he was the first one out the door. Later, when the midterm grades were posted I noticed he never changed his nickname. Surprisingly, “Megapenis” got the highest mark in the class.)

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A Lower Grade Of Behavior

| USA | Bad Behavior, Students

(My mom is a second grade teacher. My sister and I are in seventh grade. We are helping our mom in her classroom. It is important to note that grades pre-k through eighth are in the same school building.)

Sister: “I heard the math teacher complaining about her fifth grade class. Apparently they are really disruptive.”

(A few days later we are all at my mom’s classroom again when the math teacher walks through the door.)

Math Teacher: *to my mom* “I need your advice about my fifth grade students.”

(We all kind of stop and stare at her, because we are wondering why a fifth grade math teacher would be asking a second grade teacher for advice.)

Math Teacher: *noticing our confused looks* “Well, I figured that since they are acting like second graders, then I should treat them like one!”

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Those Pecs Defy Gravity

| Omaha, NE, USA | Books & Reading, Math & Science, Rude & Risque, Students

(I am in physics class, doing a worksheet about g, the rate at which all things fall to Earth. My teacher comes up behind me and picks up the book I’ve been reading: a romance novel whose cover is just a well-muscled chest. No head, no legs. Just the chest.)

Teacher: “[My Name], I have to ask: is this book G-rated?”

(I wordlessly take it, flip it over, and drop it onto my desk so it lands with the back cover facing up.)

Me: “Yes. ‘g’ rates this book a success.”

Teacher: *sighs* “Just cover up the naked guy, okay?”

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