Category: Students

Got A Good Hand(le) On The Subject

| MN, USA | MN, USA | Rude & Risque, Students

(We are in a heavily abstinence-based sex ed class.)

Teacher: “Who can give me a benefit of abstinence?”

Student: “You have more time for yourself…”

Teacher: “Good, any-”


An Age-Old Trick

| NY, USA | Popular, Students

(I am a substitute teacher, and though I’m 21 years old I like to try and hide that from the students, especially if they’re in senior high. I’m in a 9th grade computer class one day and a girl calls me over.)

Student: “Miss [My Name], where did you go to school?”

(I actually was homeschooled, but this is another thing I try not to share with students.)

Me: “Ummm… I graduated high school and college at the same time.”

Student: “Really? When was that?”

Me: “I am not going to tell you that.”

Student: “Why?”

Me: “Because I know you’re trying to guess how old I am.”

Student: *shocked* “How did you know that?!”

Me: “Because you’re not very subtle.”

Get Some Background Before You Criticize Their Backgrounds

| Louvain, Belgium | Popular, Students, Teachers

(We’re in the process of writing our MA theses. This includes several presentations throughout the year on how our research is going. After the final presentation we get collective feedback. Our professor is one of the younger ones at the department.)

Professor: “Overall, everyone is on track with their research, but your skills at presentation are horrible! You just stand there, reading off your notes! And your slides are boring and uninspired! Use images, or a template, or anything to liven it up a little. You’re in your final year; you have to do better than black text on a white background! Haven’t we got a class that teaches you things like this?”

(There’s a few moments of tense silence, when one of the students replies:)

Student: “Not really, sir. We’re just imitating our professors where presentation style is concerned…”

Takes A Stab At Bending The Rules

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Exams/Tests, Students

Teacher: “Once the tests are out, there is to be no communication, verbal or nonverbal, with anyone else. The only exceptions are “Bless you”, if someone sneezes, and, “Ow, quit stabbing me!”

(A student begins stabbing the student in front of her in the back with a pen.)

Teacher: “That last one is not an invitation to yell it out just for the sake of saying it. Or as an invitation to start stabbing your neighbors.”

(The student stopped stabbing the student in front of her in the back with her pen.)

Meanwhile, In Skyrim High…

| VA, USA | Geeks Rule, Students

(I recently injured my knee, and am using a crutch to help me navigate my school. At this point about half the student body has asked me what happened to my knee, and I’m getting a little annoyed with the question.)

Classmate: “[My Name], oh, my God! What happened!”

Me: *deciding to have a little fun* “I took an arrow to the knee.”

Classmate: *wide eyes, believing me* “What?!”

Me: “Reference to a game. I just twisted my knee.”

Classmate: *actually disappointed* “Oh…”

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