Category: Students


To Sleep, Perchance To Teach

Kent, England, UK | Health & Body, Students

(I tend to have bad insomnia, especially near the end of term. I am at school and functioning on about an hour of sleep. In drama, we are moving around props because there are a few drama studios scattered around the school. One of the props is a sofa that is currently tucked into the corner of the studio we are doing the performance in. Everyone loves my drama teacher because he is really nice and absolutely hilarious, and tends to be sympathetic towards students.)

Teacher: “[My Name]?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Teacher: “Can you get the candelabra from the theatre? It should be backstage.”

Me: *sleepily* “Okay…”

Teacher: *concerned* “Are you okay? You seem a bit spacey.”

Me: *explains about insomnia*

Teacher: *addressing class* “Okay everyone, here are your jobs.” *assigns tasks*  “[My Name], go and sleep on the sofa.”

Me: *shocked* “Sorry…?”

Teacher: “There’s a sofa with your name on it. Now, go and sleep.”

(I did as he said and got comfortable on the sofa. I was so exhausted it didn’t take me long to drop off. I was awakened half-an-hour later by my friend so that we could go to Chemistry. I was extremely thankful, and my friends thought it was hilarious. It made my day one hundred percent better.)


King Of The Speaking Frank

| San Mateo, CA, USA | History, Ignoring/Inattentive, Students

(For our history tests, we must write a paragraph on a certain topic. Today, it is on Charlemagne. We have been reviewing for the past few days for the test and the paragraph. Let’s just say, Student #1 is not the brightest bulb around.)

Student #1: “What is our paragraph about?”

Everyone: *face-palm*

Teacher: *in a state of disbelief*

Student #2: *shouting in sarcasm* “Muhammad!”

Student #3: *catching onto Student #2* “Hellenism!”

(The teacher then moves two feet to the right to display the paragraph topic “CHARLEMAGNE” in big bold letters on the board.)

Teacher: “Next time, if you even raise your hand, I won’t bother picking you.”


Trumpet Versus A Strumpet

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Love/Romance, Popular, Students

(We are getting ready for band class. One of the trumpet players is grabbing her instrument case from her locker when suddenly her case opens up, all the contents spilling out and making a huge mess: valve oil, cleaning grease, etc. This includes her trumpet, which clatters to the ground hard enough to dent the instrument so badly there is no way she can play it without major repairs. Obviously, she is shocked and sad because of this, and as a few people go to comfort her, another girl starts laughing.)

Girl: “That’s what you get, f***ing slut! F*** your trumpet!”

Me: “Excuse me? Why the h*ll are you laughing?”

Girl: “That b***h though she could be so sneaky and hit on my boyfriend? Nuh-uh! She needs to stay the f*** away from him!”

Trumpet Player: “What…? I’m not hitting on your boyfriend! I don’t even know who your boyfriend is!”

Girl: “Yeah, you do, c***! You thought you could be so clever and hide it, huh? F***ing naming your trumpet after him!”

Trumpet Player: “I named my trumpet ‘B. B. King’…”

(It should be noted that our concert band players have a tradition of naming their instruments after musicians. For example: My saxophone is named after Louis Armstrong.)

Girl: “Exactly!”

Me: “She named her trumpet after a musician…”

Girl: “No! Those are my boyfriend’s initials!”

(Both the trumpet player and I suddenly realize that one of the boys in our school happens to have initials that spell out “B. B. King.”)

Trumpet Player: *suddenly calm* “I’m going to explain something to you very clearly, so we don’t have this misunderstanding again…”

Girl: “What? That you’re a f****** wh*** that should kill herself?”


Girl: “I’m not paying for s***!”

(The trumpet player’s family threatened to sue the girl’s family unless she paid for the damages. And it turned out that the girl’s boyfriend wasn’t really happy for the loving gesture consisting of property damage over a coincidentally-named instrument. He dumped her.)

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