Category: Religion

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Desk-Side Haunting

| USA | Bizarre/Silly, Religion, Students

(We are going over what to do in lock-down. Student #1 is in front of a desk.)

Student #1: “Can I hide behind this desk?”

Teacher: “Well since that would make noise, no.”

Student #1: “But what if I’m quiet?”

Teacher: “My answer is still no.”

Student #2: “[Student #1], I swear if you get us killed I will haunt your family.”

(This happened to be in religion class, and the subject we covered was heaven, hell, and purgatory.)

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They Got The Phone In The Sale(m)

| GA, USA | History, Popular, Religion, Technology

(We are doing a mock trial on the Boston Massacre in my US history class, with our teacher acting as the judge. During to trial one of the jury member’s phones goes off.)

Teacher: *staying in character* “What kind of witchcraft is that?”

Student: “Looks like we are going to be having another kind of trial after this!”

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Sacrilegious Sexylicious

| England, UK | Bad Behavior, Popular, Religion, Rude & Risque, Students

(I’m in a year-11 religious studies class and we have just moved on to the issue of abortion. My teacher, brilliant as she is, tends to have conversations with our class that soon veer off topic and become very strange.)

Teacher: *after explaining something to a student* “So, if you are made in the image of God, that’s why you should treat your body with respect –because God is in it. That means that anything you do to your body, you do to God.”

Student #1: “So, if you have sex with someone… does that mean you have sex with God?”

Class: *all laugh at [Student #1]*

Me: *to [Student #2]* “Technically, wouldn’t it be a threesome?”

Student #2: *to me* “Or a foursome, because God is in both of you!”

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The Devil’s Music

| WI, USA | Dorms, Musical Mayhem, Religion, Teachers

(I am in a theology class with one of my roommates. Whenever this particular professor asks a question, he always follows it up by saying, “Now we’ll know who the heretics are.” This exchange happens in our dorm one evening.)

Roommate: *referencing the song that just came on* “I am not a fan of this version of this song.”

Me: “I didn’t realize there were multiple versions as I am not super familiar with the song. I do like it, though.”

Roommate: “Oh, good, you’re not a heretic.”

(Pause.)

Me: “You’ve been hanging around [Professor] too much.”

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Education Quality Is Popeless

| SD, USA | Extra Stupid, Religion, Students

(During my debate class:)

Teacher: “I want you all to look at news daily, such as this article on the pope or—”

Student: “I thought the pope was dead!”

Teacher: *keeping his cool* “No. When a pope does or retires another one will take his place.”

Student #2: “Has the pope ever visited America before?”

Teacher: *walks back to desk and sits for rest of period*