Category: Extra Stupid

Honey Worms And Silk Bees

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Students

(In science class we are talking about the states of matter.)

Teacher: “Can someone give me an example of a liquid?”

Student: “Silk.”

(The whole class laughs.)

Teacher: “So, you’re saying silk is a liquid?”

Student: “Yeah.”

Teacher: “So, if you were wearing a shirt of silk it would just flow off?”

Student: “Yeah.”

(Teacher goes to the storage cupboard, brings out some silk and a stick and prepares a demonstration.)

Student: “No, not that silk. That one that comes from bees.”

Teacher: “You mean honey?”

Student: “Um… yeah, I think it’s honey.”

(Everyone including teacher laughs, that boy’s nickname is now Silky Spano.)

Don’t Have A Cow, Ma’am

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Parents

(I am a kindergarten teacher.)

Student: “Mr. [My Last Name], where does milk come from?”

Me: “The milk we drink comes from a cow.”

(The next day a get an angry call from a student’s mother.)

Mom: “How dare you lie to my child!”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but what is this about?”

Mom: “You told my son that milk comes from a cow!”

Me: “That is true.”

Mom: “But it comes from a carton!”

Doesn’t Understand The Concept

| SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Homework

(My mother is a nursing instructor at a local technical college. She has called a student into her office to discuss an assignment.)

Teacher: “You’ll have to redo this. There are no concepts on it.”

Student: “You didn’t tell me I had to put concepts on my concept map!”

Teacher: “…”

Student: *blushing* “Oh! Never mind…”

We Learn Nothing From History

| Fishers, IN, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Students

(I am a substitute teacher. I’m in a ninth grade-level World History class. The students are studying for an upcoming test on the Middle Ages. I decide to quiz the students on some basic facts they should know.)

Me: “Who knows the importance of the year 1066?”

Student #1: “Isn’t that when William Shakespeare invaded Jerusalem?”

Student #2: “No, you’re thinking of the Crusades. That’s when Shakespeare invaded France!”

Student #3: “No, that didn’t happen until the 1300s. 1066 is when some French dude invaded an island somewhere.”

Student #4: “Oh! That’s when Charlemagne invaded England!”

Me: “1066 is when William the Conqueror invaded England from France.”

Student #1: “Well, I got the William part right.”

Student #2: “And I knew the French had something to do with it!”

Student #3: “And England’s on an island.”

Student #4: “So we kind of got it right, right?”

(I wonder if any of them passed the test.)

Sloppy Copy

, | OH, USA | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Staff, Students, Technology

Patron: “Can I scan this?”

Me: “Do you want to scan it or photocopy?”

Patron: “Scan.”

Me: “Okay. Our scanner’s right here. Here’s the program. It’ll take a second to warm up, and then you’re good to go.”

Patron: “And once it’s scanned in, I can print it, right?”

Me: “Uh… if… if you’re just going to print it, it’s probably faster just to photocopy it.”

Patron: “Oh. Okay.”

(These are the people who are going to be running the country, folks.)