Category: Extra Stupid

H2-Slow, Part 13

| GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Students

Teacher: “Beer was used by the Egyptians for long distance traveling because it didn’t spoil. You could actually teach world history with just a couple of drinks. Alcohol was made in the Middle East and—”

(Some kid raised his hand.)

Student: “So who invented water?”

Teacher: “…”

Related:
H2Slow, Part 12
H2Slow, Part 11
H2Slow, Part 10

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I Have Beef With The Plants

| USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Students

(I’m allergic to most plant materials; this includes fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, berries, pollen etc. I explain this fairly often and some people have trouble grasping the concept that I can still eat stuff.)

Classmate: “So you can’t have beef or chicken?”

Me: “I just said I couldn’t eat plants; are beef and chicken plants?”

Classmate: *whispers to friend* “Are they?”

(The teacher overhears and comes over.)

Teacher: “Beef and chicken are animals, not plants. She can have them.”

Me: “How did you not know that? We’re in seventh grade.”

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The Political System Is A (Blonde) Joke

| Austria | Extra Stupid, Politics, Popular

(The year is 2008. I am an American English teaching assistant in Austria, and the U.S. is holding presidential elections. I am trying to explain the electoral college system to a group of 17 female students. I think I have developed the perfect example:)

Me: “Let’s divide the students into blondes and brunettes.”

(The students divide into two groups: one with 7 blondes and one with 10 brunettes.)

Me: “Now, we’re voting for the president.”

(In my scenario, one of the blondes votes for candidate A, and six vote for candidate B. Seven of the brunettes vote for candidate A, and three vote for candidate B. That means candidate A wins the electoral vote (based on relative population), but the popular vote was for candidate B with nine votes for candidate B vs. eight total for candidate A. I’m very proud of myself for setting up this little demonstration until student #1 chimes in:)

Student: “But… but… don’t they know in America whether you’re blonde or brunette, and couldn’t you just dye your hair for the election?”

(Student was NOT blonde!)

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