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    Homeless And Hopeless

    | Baytown, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Students

    (The school I teach at is brand new. At recess the kids are distracted or scared by the number of bugs and other critters out that day. This culminates in a group of girls screaming at the sight of a frog and the boys subsequently killing it. In the course of getting on to them for killing the frog, this conversation happens:)

    Me: “Remember, this school is brand new. The bugs and frogs were here long before we were. This was their home.”

    Girl: “Wait, bugs live places?!”

    Crumbling Down The Traditional Gender Roles

    | USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Parents

    (I am in kindergarten. For a class celebration, I have brought homemade oatmeal cookies, my favorite, to share with my classmates. My father is in the military and my school is on base; it leans towards very traditional gender roles/family values. My family does not; my father is the cook, baker, and sewer in the family, while my step-mother can do none of these things. After passing out the cookies, this conversation ensues:)

    Teacher: “[My Name], these cookies are delicious. When you go home, be sure to ask your mommy to send in the recipe.”

    Me: “Actually, my daddy made these cookies.”

    Teacher: “You mean your mommy made them.”

    Me: “No, my daddy made them.”

    Teacher: *more forcefully* “You mean your mommy made them.”

    Me: “No, she didn’t. My daddy made them.”

    Teacher: “I’m sure you mean he helped your mommy make them.”

    Me: *confused* “No! My daddy made these cookies by himself!”

    (This went on for another five minutes. My teacher was convinced I was lying and actually called home to discuss the matter with my parents. My father had to come to the school to pick me up and corroborate my story!)

    Nice To Be Honest

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Bad Behavior, Language & Words, Students

    (I’m a kindergarten teacher.)

    Student: “Miss, you’re a butthead.”

    Me: “Buddy, you cannot say that. It is not nice.”

    Student: “But I’m not nice.”


    | Escondido, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Students

    Student: “What country is the Statue of Liberty in?”

    Teacher: “[Student], what country do we live in?”

    Student: “Uh, California?”

    Teacher: “No, what country.”

    Student: “Uh, San Diego?”

    Teacher: “NO, WHAT COUNTRY?!”

    Student: “Oh, Escondido!”

    A De-Grading Test

    | CA, USA | Exams/Tests, Parents

    (In second grade I am given a reading test and score at a 6th grade level. In third grade, I was given the test again, and the school called my father in to discuss the results.)

    Teacher: “Mr. [Dad], we’re concerned about your daughter’s reading. She’s not improving.”

    Dad: “What do you mean not improving? Isn’t she testing above grade level?”

    Teacher: “She’s tested at the same level two years running.”

    Dad: “Yes, but she’s scoring well above her grade level. Out of curiosity, what’s the highest score you can get on that test?”

    (The teacher checks:)

    Teacher: “Sixth grade.”

    Dad: “…How, exactly, do you expect her to score higher than the test goes?”

    (They gave me a different test and I scored at an eighth grade reading level.)

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