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  • Teaching Me To Feel Normal
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    I Got A Million Problems But My Teach Ain’t One

    | Waco, TX, USA | Religion, Students

    (We are in religious education class:)

    Teacher: “If I gave each of you a briefcase full with a million dollars and you could keep none of it, who would you give it to?”

    Me: “Parents,

    Student #1: “My sister.”

    Student #2: “The police.”

    Teacher: “Don’t I look like a responsible business man?”

    Student #2: “Oh, you’re giving it to me?”

    Teacher: “Yes!”

    Student #2: *looks him dead in the eyes* “I’d still give it to the police.”

    Breaking The Rulers Of Physics

    | Glen Allen, VA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Math & Science

    (We are in a senior AP physics class with a really cool teacher who is pretty relaxed. During an assignment I get bored and I’m playing with a ruler and I hit it on a scale and manage to balance it perfectly vertically.)

    Classmate: “Whoa, dude. I think you just broke physics.”

    Me: “Hey, [Teacher]! Check this out!”

    (He comes over looks at it and looks at me like I’m just wasting his time but then suddenly he says:)

    Teacher: “Nice! High-five!”

    (We five and immediately the ruler falls over.)

    Classmate: “Sonic high-five!”

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    Mew-sing On Spreadsheets

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Pets & Animals, Teachers

    (Several cats walk freely around my school and often let themselves in. This takes place during a business class as a small black cat we all know walks in.)

    Teacher: *stops talking about spreadsheets* “Well, hello, [Cat]! Do you want to learn about conditional formatting? Of course you do!”

    (The teacher proceeded to spend the next half hour cradling a very happy kitty and teaching us about spreadsheets.)

    Teaching Me To Feel Normal

    | MA, USA | Awesome, Health & Body, Teachers

    (My service dog goes to school with me. My medical issues leave me with a specialized schedule in a dark classroom with my teachers rotating out instead of me moving. My favorite teacher is on his way when I pass out. This happens when I come to.)

    Teacher: “How ya feeling?”

    Me: “My head hurts.”

    Teacher: “Well, you did fall out of your chair and it seemed like you made it your goal to hit everything on the way down. I thought you’d died. Spent fifteen whole minutes trying to bribe the dog not to tell anyone if I buried you behind the football field and denied knowledge of your existence. He’s a tough negotiator. Demanded a lifetime of royal treatment for his silence.”

    Me: “Doesn’t sound too horrid. He’s a good boy: goes to the bathroom on command, even knows how to do laundry.”

    Teacher: “My wife would have killed me if I brought home another dog. I would have had less of a fight bringing home your corpse.”

    Me: “Then I guess it’s a good thing I’m not dead, unless you wanted to add a corpse to the living room.”

    Teacher: “Nah, you’re not wearing anything that would match the decor and she’s a stickler for that kind of stuff.”

    (He was my favorite because he never made a huge deal about my medical issues. Everyone else freaked and made a scene while he was perfectly comfortable joking about it with me and making me feel normal.)


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