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  • Getting A B(S) Grade
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  • October's Theme Of The Month: Recess!
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    A Recession In Behavior

    | VA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a small K-12 private school. I teach high school Spanish, but the only classroom available when I was hired is on the kindergarten hall. During my planning period I hear a particularly bad tantrum occurring outside my door. I poke my head out of my classroom to see a class of four year olds going out to recess.)

    Kindergartener: “Mrs! Mrs!” *points to classroom* “There’s two boys crying in there!”

    Me: “Oh, no! That’s not good. ”

    Kindergartener: “Yes, Mrs. And misbehaving!”

    Me: “You don’t misbehave, do you?”

    Kindergartener: “No, Mrs. I get to have all MY recess.”

    The Philosophy Of Photography

    , | USA | Extra Stupid, History, Students

    (I’m in creative photography class. My teacher puts up a photograph taken by a famous photographer.)

    Teacher: “All right, who took this photo? He’s famous!”

    Classmate: “Aristotle?”

    Thou Shalt Not Bribe

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Exams/Tests, Language & Words, Religion, Teachers

    (My religion teacher has her class memorize one Bible verse per week. At the beginning of the next week, as a scripture quiz, we are expected to write out last week’s verse. She gives us the first two words as a cue. This particular week, a lot of us are having trouble remembering it, so she offers us the third word as well.)

    Classmate: “Can we get the fourth word?”

    Teacher: “No… you usually only get two and now you have three. I think that’s good enough.”

    Classmate #2: “Can we get the seventh word?”

    Teacher: “No.”

    Classmate #1: “Can we get the first syllable of the fourth word?”

    (Our teacher shakes her head.)

    Classmate #1: “I’ll give you 20 bucks!”

    Teacher: “Let’s think about this. You are trying to bribe a religion teacher. What is wrong with this picture?”

    Classmate #1: “I don’t think it is. I think it’s a very nice picture!”

    It’s Either That Or A G-String

    | OH, USA | Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (We’re in choir. Our director is telling the altos that the majority of them should not try for the higher note, and should instead stay on the lower note, a D.)

    Director: “Eh… most of the altos should take the D.”

    (The bass and tenor sections start snickering up a storm.)

    Director:  *glares* “Smooth.”

    Getting A B(S) Grade

    | CO, USA |

    (I am an engineering student giving a presentation with some disappointing partners. The professor we are presenting to is an expert in the field and so likes to ask complex problems to trip people up.)

    Partner: “So… uh … yeah. That’s my report.”

    Professor: “Well what about [doctorate level equation]?”

    Partner: “Uh… uh… um…”

    (At this point I see my partner floundering and attempt to answer as best I could, making it up as I go.)

    Professor: “You have run a business before, haven’t you?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. How did you know?”

    Professor: “Because that was all absolute bulls*** but it was by far the most professional sounding bulls*** I ever heard. I’ll give you the ‘A’ for that.”

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