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    The ‘Need’ Of The Many

    | NJ, USA | Exams/Tests, Homework, Ignoring/Inattentive, Students

    (Going to school for computer programming – the second-to-last group to have the course as it is before being revamped to all-web-based programming – we have a succession of teachers for each programming language. The final course is Java, and while the teacher is nice and actually helpful, his instructions are lacking. It is during the two weeks we have to finish our final project, where the two current classes have been merged into the larger lab, and the teacher’s not in the room at the moment.)

    Me: “UGH, how are we supposed to do all this?!”

    Other Group: “What do you mean?”

    Classmate: “How are we supposed to set up 30 programs in two weeks?! The first batch are easy but the rest are taking two to three days each!”

    Other Group: “You don’t need to do all 30!”

    Us: “WHAT!?”

    (We get the FULL instructions from the other group. When the teacher comes back, he gets bombarded.)

    Me: “Why didn’t you tell us we only needed to do [the number from each section]?!”

    Teacher: “I did!”

    Classmate: “No, you didn’t!”

    Classmate #2: “I even asked you last week how we were supposed to get ALL THIRTY done!”

    Teacher: “The cover sheet for the packet had the full instructions!”


    (Turned out he gave Class #2 the cover sheet, which said how many programs from each section to do and how much of each section to work, as well as the fact that it counted as 50% of the entire course’s grade, but neither gave us that copy nor said anything… And we didn’t learn this until there was about three days left. Nobody was given extensions, nor extra credit for the extra work already done. It was a miracle several of us were able to rush through what we ‘needed’ to do!)

    That Final Project Opened Some Doors For You

    | AB, Canada | History, Students, Technology

    (I’m studying radio broadcasting at a tech college, and one day we have a special guest speaker. This speaker is an alumni of the program and has gone on to become one of the most prominent station managers in our city. After his talk, he turns to leave our classroom, and trips over something. He stops, looks down, and grows wistful.)

    Professor: “Hey, [Station Manager], is everything okay?”

    Station Manager: “Yeah, fine. It’s just this 8-track tape you’re using for a doorstop. I recognize the label. It was my final project 20 years ago.” *sigh* “All that work…”

    Hope The Calculator Has A Panic Button

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Math & Science, Students

    (I am sitting in my algebra class.)

    Professor: *after writing a complicated problem on the board* “What do we do next?”

    Student Behind Me: “Panic.”

    Can’t Engineer A Solution

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Sports, Staff, Students

    (I am going through my incoming orientation at my new college. They have grouped us by year and major so everyone in my group is transferring in as third year computer engineers. Our orientation guide is showing us the various buildings around campus.)

    Orientation Guide: “And here we have our campus’ athletic center. This is where all of our sports teams meet and train. Are any of you planning on joining one of our teams?”

    Our Group: *silence*

    Orientation Guide: “Come on, aren’t there any athletes here?”

    Our Group: *more silence*

    Orientation Guide: “No one wants to play football or wrestle?”

    Me: “We’re engineering majors.”

    Putting The Lesson On Hold

    | GA, USA | Awesome, Spouses & Partners, Teachers, Technology

    (My professor has a policy that if your phone isn’t silenced, and it rings in class, you can dance to the ringtone or she can answer it. If it’s a text, she can reply to the text. During class, her phone goes off.)

    Professor: “Was that my phone?” *checks phone* “D*** it. Okay. I should probably be shamed for this, shouldn’t I?”

    Classmates: “Yes!”

    Professor: “It was my husband, so I’m going to call him. If he picks up, I want you guys to say ‘Hi! You’re interrupting our class!'”

    (The professor calls her husband and puts the call on speaker.)

    Classmate: “You’re really doing it?”

    Professor: “Yup.”

    Husband: *picks up phone* “Hi, what’s up?”

    Classmates: “Hi! You’re interrupting our class!”

    Husband: “Then why did you call?”

    Professor: “The cell phone policy in my syllabus. If I’m guilty, I should be treated the same.”

    Husband: “Yes, you should.”

    Professor: “So I’m calling you so that I can be shamed.”

    Husband: “As you deserve to be!”

    Professor: “Okay, I’m going to go back to teaching.”

    Husband: “Bye, everyone!”

    Classmates: “Bye!”

    Professor: *hangs up phone* “So what were we talking about? Oh right, regional dialects!” *continues lecturing like nothing happened*

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