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  • That’ll Teach Him
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  • To Moms You Never Grow Up

    | IL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Family & Kids, Parents, Students

    (I have come to the school where my mom is subbing to have lunch with her before I go on a trip. I’ve been sitting in the office waiting for her lunch time. There’s a little girl sitting next to me.)

    Secretary: “Do you know where your mom is subbing?”

    Me: “No, I’m not sure.”

    Secretary: “Well, I don’t see her on the sub list. Let me go check and see where she is.”

    (The secretary leaves and the girl looks at me for a couple minutes.)

    Girl: “Are you an adult?”

    Me: “Yes, I’m 21.”

    Girl: “And you have a mom?!”

    Me: “…yes.”

    Moost Annoying

    | Waterloo, ON, Canada | Language & Words, Pets & Animals, Students

    (I am sitting in the lecture hall before my English lecture starts, getting my notebook out and preparing for class, when I overhear a conversation between the two girls behind me.)

    Girl #1: “What is the plural form of moose? Is it like… meese?”

    Girl #2: “I think it’s just moose.”

    Girl #1: “Like fish? That’s sooooo annoying!”

    Can’t Erase That Outburst

    | Somerset, NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Students

    (I’m in class, and a small projectile hits my arm, falling onto the edge of my chair.)

    Me: “Excuse me, [Teacher]? Someone just threw a spitball at—”

    Thrower: *shouting* “NO! It wasn’t a spitball! It’s a piece of eraser! GOD! Can’t you tell the difference?”

    (The class looked on in amazement as the self-outed thrower continued to rant about how ‘erasers are totally different!’)

    Putting The Mad Into Madre

    | Council Bluffs, IA, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Students

    (I am in a college-level Spanish class. Even so, a few students in the class tend to be loud and disruptive, but the things they say are usually pretty funny. On this day, Student #1 has fallen asleep in class.)

    Teacher: “[Student #1]! Wake up!”

    Student #1: “I am awake! I wasn’t sleeping. I swear.”

    Teacher: “Then what were we talking about? Can you tell me what we just said?”

    Student #1: “Yeah, I can say something.”

    Teacher: “Well then, say something!”

    Student #1: “Hola.”

    (The class waits for him to finish, and a few seconds pass.)

    Student #1: “Mi madre es mi padre.”

    (This is Spanish for “my mother is my father”. At this, the entire class, including the teacher, bursts out laughing.)

    Student #2: “Poor madre.”

    Solving Math Like Headless Chickens

    | Athens, Greece | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Pets & Animals, Students

    (In our mathematics class, we’ve recently learned to solve equations and are having a test on them.)

    Teacher: “A farmer has sheep and chickens. Someone asks him how many of each he has, but he just replies that all his animals together have 30 heads and 100 legs. How many sheep and how many chickens does he have?”

    (We begin solving the problem, which is supposed to last the rest of that period, and whoever finishes can leave the classroom. I am one of the first to finish and another classmate comes out soon afterwards.)

    Classmate: “I was afraid I couldn’t do it but I did! 42 chickens!”

    Me: “With 30 heads? Why, did he behead some of them?”

    (My classmate slapped her forehead and left to find her friends.)

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