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    A Wobbly Knobbly Knowledge

    | Perth, WA, Australia | Staff, Students

    (I am filling out an order form for artwork for my department. One of the questions involves smoke alarms. I look around and do not notice any noticeable some alarms, although I do note a certain feature in the ceilings.)

    Me: “Hey, [Coworker], is that knobbly thing a smoke alarm?”

    Coworker: “I don’t know. There are two knobbly bits.”

    (We both stare at the ‘knobbly’ fixtures until a student decides to intervene.)

    Student: “Yup, those are smoke alarms. So are these.” *points to more ‘knobbly’ fixtures*

    Me: “Well, I’m glad our students who don’t work here know our systems better than we do…”

    This Lesson Hits New Heights

    | MO, USA | Awesome, Bizarre/Silly, Math & Science, Teachers

    (My science teacher is the craziest I’ve ever had. As an end of the year project we build rockets and pvc pipe launchers to study force and such.)

    Teacher: “I wonder what would happen if I launched a marble and how hard I’d have to launch it to make a hole in the ceiling?”

    (He proceeds to load a marble into a launcher and begin to try different psi. He eventually hits 30 and a huge crack is heard making everyone jump. We look up and see a hole.)

    Teacher: *setting his goggles down* “Well, class, you need 30 psi to take down a school ceiling tile. They need stronger tiles.”

    Shaping New Words

    | WA, USA | Language & Words, Math & Science, Teachers

    (Our calculus three class is analyzing vectors in class.)

    Teacher: “Parallelogram.. I really like that word…. Okay now, what is this?”

    Student: “A square-ollelogram….”

    Teacher: “Okay, I really, really wish that was a word!”

    Will Be Loki To Get Good Grades

    | Malaysia | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Students

    (In English class, we are having a discussion on how to pick up visual clues from pictures to write an analytical essay. Our lecturer shows us a poster from The Avengers, which has Iron Man, the Hulk, Captain America, Hawk Eye, Thor, and the Black Widow all posing in a fighting stance.)

    Lecturer: “If you could be someone from this poster, boys, who would you be?”

    (The boys answer.)

    Lecturer: “Now, girls, there is only one female in the poster, so if you could be ANYONE, ignoring genders, who would you be?”

    Me: *without hesitation* “Iron Man.” *I pause* “No, wait. I take that back. Loki!”

    (The girl seated next to me chimes in.)

    Girl: “Loki’s wife.”

    Me: *to her* “Ooooh! Yes!” *loudly to whole class* “Loki’s wife!”

    (The girl and I high-five. The lecturer tells us to choose based on the poster only. Later on, he asks us who we’d be if we didn’t know the characters, based on the way they are standing only.)

    Lecturer: “Remember, poster based only. NO Loki.”

    Girl: “Yeah, don’t bring Loki in on this. He’s on a WHOLE other level.”

    Me: “Yup! He’s practically a god!”

    (We high-fived again and burst out laughing.)

    Same Name, Different Junk

    | CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (I have a psychology teacher who is really intense during lectures in a hilarious way. He is known for giving out nicknames and using them for the eternity of the school year. We are playing a class jeopardy game where the student who answers the question correctly chooses to pick the person to choose the next question. I am male. There are two other females in my class with my name.)

    Student: “I choose, Female [My Name].”

    Teacher: “Female [My Name]? Do you mean [My Name] C.?”

    (Later…)

    Different Student: “I choose, Male [My Name].”

    Teacher: “Yes, the male one. The [My Name] with testicles. Hey! That’s a good nickname. You are now [My Name] with testicles, or [My Name] T for short.”

    (The female student with my name laughs much louder than the rest.)

    Teacher: *calling on same female student* “Okay, now you can answer a question, [My Name] V.”


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