• A Study In Bullying
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  • October's Theme Of The Month: Literally Illiterate!

    This Is Not The Write Class For You

    | Tucson, AZ, USA | Homework, Language & Words, Math & Science

    (I am a math teacher. My students have just finished a week of exploration, where they didn’t take any notes. Yesterday and today they have been writing down notes to summarize everything they learned in the exploration.)

    Students: “Miss, this is so much writing! My hand is starting to hurt!”

    Me: “Oh, come on. I’ve made you write, like, six sentences.”

    Students: “It’s so much! My hand hurts!”

    Me: “You know, if you guys can’t handle writing six sentences in ninth grade, then your English teacher isn’t making you write enough. I think I’ll email Mrs. [English Teacher] and let her know.”

    Students: *horrified* “NO, MISS! Don’t email her! We have her class next! You can’t tell her that – she’ll make us write more!”

    Me: “Yeah, that’s the point.”

    (I emailed the English teacher to let her know what they said, knowing that she is going to understand that I’m (mostly) joking but she will threaten to make them write more because of this. Then I told the students that I had emailed her.)

    Student #1: “WHAT?! MISS! I have her class next period! She’s going to make us write a ton and I’M GOING TO BLAME YOU! If she makes us write, it’ll be all your fault!”

    And The West Coast Requires AC

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Students

    (I am in an Intro to Engineering class; it is the first day of school.)

    Teacher: *calls on student* “What is the difference between AC and DC?”

    Student: *not playing attention* “Huh? Uh… DC’s on the east coast?”

    Reality Shark-Bites

    | Doncaster, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Students

    (We are in geography class and we are talking about oceans. One of my classmates says something unexpected.)

    Classmate: *puts her hand up and our teacher calls on her* “Sir, are sharks real?”

    Teacher: “Excuse me?”

    Classmate: “Are sharks real? Because I have never seen one in real life.”

    Finding The Alco-loop-hole

    | Princeton, NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Dorms, Food & Drink, Staff

    (It’s the first week of my freshman year, and I’m at a party with my RA and some of my hall-mates.)

    RA: “As your RA, I’m not allowed to give you any alcohol.”

    Me: “Okay–”

    RA: “Scott, get this man a beer!”

    The Lesson Is Always So Mechanical

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Movies & TV, Students, Technology

    (I heard this story secondhand from my brother. It takes place during his reading class. He watches a lot of movies and has a very sarcastic sense of humor.)

    Teacher: “What are some things that machines do better than people?”

    (Various answers are given, such as working out hard math problems and being hard to destroy.)

    Teacher: “What if machines one day became better at everything than humans?”

    Brother: *raspy voice* “When the machines rose up, we were defenseless against them.”

    (This is typically a very boring class, and even a stupid joke is bound to send everyone, including the teacher, into hysterics.)

    Brother: *raspy voice* “You must protect John Connor!”

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