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    Showing Reasonableness The Door

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Teachers, Time

    (My writing class counts attendance as part of your grade. My professor is really strict about her students being on time and can be completely unreasonable at times. One day I get to the door of our classroom at the same time as our professor. Being polite, I hold the door open to let her in first. Once we both sit down, she looks at me and says:)

    Teacher: “[My Name], I’m going to mark you for being tardy since you came in after me.”

    (She was completely serious.)

    Should Not Be A Mother By Certain Calculations

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Parents

    (I’m on the phone with the mother of an applicant’s to our competitive extracurricular academic program.)

    Me: “Students are not allowed to use calculators on the entry exam.”

    Mother: “But how are the kids supposed to do math without a calculator?”

    Time To Reconsider

    | Australia | Geeks Rule, History, Students

    (In the final laboratory class of my degree, I am watching the clock, very impatient for it to be over with.)

    Me: “Come on, time, move faster. Man, if I had a time machine, I’d—” *stops* “—okay, let’s face it. If I had a time machine I wouldn’t be here. I’d be mucking around in the renaissance or something. Honestly, if I had a time machine, forget education or employment. I’d have stuff to do in the Stone Age.”

    Lab Partner: *cracks up*

    Email Fail

    | MD, USA | Language & Words, Students, Technology

    (I am a tutor for a sophomore class and help them prepare for college. I show them a website where they can organize their grades and things for college representatives.)

    Me: “Now, notice how my email for colleges to contact me is just my full name and a random number. This doesn’t seem important but it is. How many of you have an email address?”

    (All of the students, about 20, raise their hands.)

    Me: “Okay. How many of you have an email address you would actually say in public?”

    (Only five have their hands raised.)

    Me: “How many of you would say your email address is professional?”

    (One hand is left. I call on him.)

    Me: “Tell me your email address.”

    Student: *hesitates and then hangs his head* “str8gangsta420.”

    (Needless to say, I told him to change it.)

    In Her Cross-Hairs

    | TN, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Health & Body, Students

    (I am a girl, and I have extremely long strawberry blonde hair, which I dye a darker shade of red. I normally keep my hair tied up and covered during classes, so people do not see much of it. This day, however, my hair tie has decided to break in the middle of lecture, which means I suddenly have hair spilling all over the lab table behind me.)

    Professor: “R&D costs are not considered intangible assets. Can anyone tell me wh—”

    Girl Behind Me: *blurts out at the top of her lungs* “YOU DYED YOUR HAIR!”

    Me: *in the process of trying to catch my hair*

    Professor: “…”

    Girl Behind Me: “IT’S SO PRETTY!”

    Professor: *covers her face and starts dying of laughter*

    Girl Behind Me: “Well, it’s TRUE!”

    (Our entire class laughed for a good ten minutes while the girl behind me continued to insist that my hair was beautiful and she had NO IDEA why we were all laughing!)

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