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    How About No


    funny-first-day-school-teacher

    Going To Have Kittens About This

    | Denmark | Pets & Animals, Students

    (In biology class we are discussing genetics.)

    Teacher: “If you have a brown dog and a white dog, what color puppies will you most likely get?”

    Classmate: “Well, you would certainly not get kittens”

    They’ll Never Forget Again

    | Galesburg, IL, USA | History, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I am a student teacher in a Media and Society class. It is September 11th, and given the televised nature of the national tragedy I thought it would be a good idea to talk about it. The school’s students are also currently infatuated with the commercial about a camel that is way too excited about Wednesday.)

    Me: “So, class, who knows what day it is?”

    Student: “HUMP DAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!”

    (The class laughs.)

    Me: “Well, you’re not wrong, but I was talking about 9/11.”

    Student: “Oh, I’m an a**hole…”

    Punchline Has Been Cancelled

    | USA | Teachers

    (Monday:)

    Sign On Door: “All of [Professor]’s classes are canceled today.”

    Students: “Yay, free time!”

    (Wednesday:)

    Professor: “Sorry, I canceled the other day. I was sick and didn’t want to spread it to anyone.”

    (Friday:)

    Sign On Door: “[Professor]’s nine am class is canceled.”

    (Monday:)

    Professor: “Sorry about Friday. I had a flat tire.”

    (Wednesday:)

    Sign On Door: “[Professor]’s classes are canceled today.”

    Student: *sarcastically* “What did he do, die?”

    Teacher: *glaring* “Yes.” *walks away*

    Student: “What?”

    (We found out during lunch he had died!)

    The Excuse You Never See Coming

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Excuses, Students

    (We are about halfway through the semester in our prerequisite English class. The class is four hours long, and has been going on for about an hour and a half.)

    Student: *walks in and sits down as if nothing is wrong*

    Teacher: *stops lecturing and stares at him a moment* “[Student]! Why are you so late?”

    Student: *looks up from where he was organizing his book and notepad with a solemn expression* “Ninjas.”

    Teacher: *shocked into silence*


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