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  • Firing Up A Passion For Science
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  • Socially Unacceptable

    | Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Bad Behavior, Lazy/Unhelpful, Teachers

    (I am in my second year of college. Our sociology teacher is incompetent and infantile. We are close to the end of the year and we’re due to start our last unit; crime and deviance. Due to various scheduling difficulties we end up missing two sociology periods. One day we learn from another lecturer that all the other groups are already half way through the unit while we haven’t even started. We go to the sociology class.)

    Teacher: “Okay I have a little ice-breaker activity so we can all have lots of fun before we have to do all the nasty hard work.”

    Student: *anxiously* “We are actually going to start the unit today, right?”

    Teacher: “Sure! Before we can even think about crime in society we have to think about how we think about other people. So, we’re going to write down all the things we call people.”

    Other Student: *confused* “What?”

    Teacher: “Just write down all the words you use to describe people. You can even use naughty, sweary words!” *childish giggle* “And then we’ll talk about them.”

    (We get started and as time passes it becomes obvious that nothing of worth is going to be taught today. 25 minutes before the end of the class she starts calling on people for answers, squealing and giggling every time someone uses an ‘inappropriate’ term. She gets to me:)

    Teacher: “What did you write?”

    Me: *reciting in a monotone while fixing my eyes on her* “Infantile. Incompetent. Patronizing. Annoying. Useless.”

    Teacher: *joyful squeal* “Your words are sooooooo good! You have a very good vocabulary! In fact you’ve all done so well I’m going to end the class early!”

    Student: *while we’re packing up* “I’m going to be revising most of tonight. What sections of the unit booklet should I specifically focus on?”

    Teacher: “Oooh, just have a wee flick through when you’ve got the time.”

    Student: *panicking slightly* “It’s about 60 pages. Surely it’s not all vital to the exam? I mean we are getting close—”

    Teacher: *heading for the door having lost interest* “It’s all in the booklet.”

    (In the end absolutely none of the course was taught in class. Instead we were told to do ‘research’ without being told what we were supposed to be looking up and were given very vague hints about what will be in the exam. Astoundingly, we all passed first time. Our lecturer claimed the fact that we missed two periods completely ruined our chances of covering anything in class and whined about the administration being incompetent. I’m just praying we don’t get her next year.)

    Way Off Course

    | Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Students, Theme Of The Month

    (I manage the switchboard at the university.)

    Me: “Good morning, switchboard. How can I help?”

    Caller: “Hi. Can I speak to someone about graduation robes, please? I’m trying online but it’s asking me for the name of my course. I don’t know what it’s called.”

    Me: “…”

    (I am still confused as to how someone can not know the name of a course they’ve been doing for three years.)

    Tear The Horoscope To Pisces

    | Hobart, TAS, Australia | Extra Stupid, Students, Theme Of The Month

    (In a first-year journalism class, the professor has just explained that new, or ‘cub,’ reporters often get given the less desirable roles, such as writing the TV guide, horoscopes, etc.)

    Student: *raises hand* “Excuse me, did you just say young reporters write the horoscopes?”

    Professor: *confused* “Yes?”

    Student: *scandalized* “But do they know anything about astrology?!”

    (The whole class bursts into laughter at her naïveté, especially for a budding journalist!)

    Should Have Read Up On It First

    | Brattleboro, VT, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Students

    (In my freshman year I have a social studies teacher who has us play Pictionary to memorize vocabulary words. One student, the troublemaker, is lying on the floor and refusing to participate.)

    Troublemaker: “I can’t play this.”

    Teacher: “Why not? Do you need to go to the nurse?”

    Troublemaker: “Yes!”

    Teacher: “May I ask why?”

    Troublemaker: “I’m dyslexic.”

    Teacher: “[Troublemaker], you don’t even know what dyslexia is.”

    Troublemaker: “MY DYSLEXIA HURTS!”

    (The troublemaker proceeds to storm out of the room.)

    Me: “Dyslexia doesn’t hurt.”

    Teacher: “I know. Also, how does it prevent you from playing Pictionary?”

    Putting The Psycho Into Social Psychology, Part 2

    | AZ, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Students, Theme Of The Month

    (We are in a psychology 101 class in a lecture hall at the beginning of a midterm. A few minutes in, a student’s phone starts to ring loudly.)

    Student: *answering the phone, yelling* “WHAT?!… A FIRE?… AT THE CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL?! I’M ON MY WAY!”

    (The student proceeded to stand up and rip off his jacket, revealing a Superman t-shirt and cape. He then runs up to the front, across the stage screaming ‘up up and away,’ trips, and runs out of the room.)

    Professor: “And that is why there is good money in psychology.”

    Putting The Psycho Into Social Psychology

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