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  • April's Theme Of The Month: Losing My Religion!

    Computer Misapplications

    | Pune, India | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Teachers, Technology

    (Some professors are not fluent in English and tend to make the ask-aks, desk-deks mistakes. I am attending a Masters in Computer Applications course. This statement from the teacher makes us gape with shock.)

    Professor: “All those who have hard diks, please get them to class tomorrow.”

    Makes You Want To Hit The Bottle

    | Lexington, KY, USA | Bad Behavior, Field Trip, Musical Mayhem

    (Our fourth grade class is on a field trip, and we’re all singing “This Is the Song That Never Ends”. This goes on for nearly ten minutes before the teacher looks like she’s had enough.)

    Teacher: “All right, how about we pick a song that DOES end, okay?”

    (We promptly started singing ‘100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.’ I wonder why she quit after that year.)

    Life Before Google:


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    ‘Imagine’ That

    | CA, USA | History, Musical Mayhem, Students

    (I’m in AP World History class and we’re discussing Russia before communism.)

    Teacher: “…and that’ll contribute to the rise of Lenin.”

    Girl: “Wait, who’s Lenin?”

    Me: “Evil massacring commie who set Russia back decades.”

    Girl: “Oh, I thought that he was the guy from the Beatles…”

    Refuses To Hair It

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Students

    (We’re playing kickball in PE. Since we are on fake turf something gets in my eye. A girl I talk to very little walks near me and sees me squinting so I try to explain why. Note that I have very long, natural brown hair that I don’t like to do much with since it’s too bothersome.)

    Me: “I got something in my eye.”

    Girl: “It’s because of your hair! You need to do your hair! You would look so much better with your hair done!”

    Me: “I like my hair…”

    Girl: “WHY WON’T YOU DO YOUR HAIR? YOUR HAIR WOULD BE PRETTY IF YOU DID IT! IT’S REDDISH BROWN, WHICH IS NICE, BUT IF YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT THEN IT’S JUST A BIG UGLY MESS!”

    Me: “I only like to put my hair loose and maybe in piggy-tails.”

    Girl: “YOU NEED TO DO YOUR HAIR! You have a boyfriend now! You need to do your hair for him!”

    Me: “I’ve been wearing my hair loose since I met him. If he really had a problem with my hair then it would have come up by now…”

    Girl: “BUT STILL! I’m going to do your hair! After PE, I’ll do your hair! Don’t worry; you’ll be pretty!”

    Me: “…”

    (She just skipped away after that. I was scared to tell her I was planning to cut my hair to a pixie cut so I could donate it.)


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