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    Whole Class Dances To The Same Tune

    | NY, USA | Awesome, Bizarre/Silly, Exams/Tests

    (This student is a class clown in his own weird way.)

    Teacher: “You all get one bonus point on the quiz if [Student] does his dance…”

    (The student immediately claps, slides his arms to the side, and flails his hands around.)

    Teacher: “…and promises not to do it again.”

    Student: “I promise.”

    (We all got a bonus point!)

    A Noteworthy Point

    | Houston, TX, USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem, Teachers

    (I am in a community youth orchestra and we have just finished running through a new piece.)

    Conductor: “So this will be the hardest piece on the program. You’ll have to practice. Make sure you play all the wrong notes—”

    (The orchestra erupts into laughter.)

    Conductor: “The RIGHT notes! You played the wrong notes just fine…”

    Parental Misguidance, Part 2

    | London, England, UK | Bigotry, Parents

    (I’m a reception class teacher for the four- to five-year-olds. In our classroom we have a ‘home’ corner; kitchen toys, dining table, soft chair, and doll toys. The children are playing in the designated areas. It’s near home time and some parents are arriving but can still see the children playing. The group in the home corner have been very good, playing house, cooking, looking after the baby, etc… After most of the children have gone one of the fathers, who arrived early, asks to speak to me.)

    Father: “I saw my son playing in the home corner. What were they doing?”

    Me: “Well, they learn about safety in the kitchen, cooking, how to—”

    Father: “NO. I mean, why was my SON in there?”

    Me: “It was his group’s turn to be in that area.”

    Father: “NO. Why was my BOY in a KITCHEN playing with a DOLL?”

    Me: “Urm, I don’t understand what you want me to tell you. All of our toys are either educational or encourage learning.”

    Father: “Okay, let me put it this way: I DO NOT want my son playing in a kitchen or with a doll. They are girls’ toys.”

    Me: “Oh, I see. Well unfortunately I can’t change the entire classroom timetable just for your convenience. Also, we believe all play is learning at this age. Your son learnt how to cook using pans, and he learnt how to be safe in a kitchen regarding hot surfaces. We believe that is very important as he gets older. He also learnt how to hold a baby, bathe, change, dress, and care for a baby. He could be a husband and a father one day. Wouldn’t it be nice for him to be able to care for his family? To maybe cook a meal for his wife and children? To interact with his babies by bathing them and cuddling them? After all, sir, it takes more than the ability to reproduce to be a good parent. You actually have to make an effort with your partner and children to show how much you love them. Don’t you agree?”

    (The father then has a look of terror on his face.)

    Father: “Of course he should know those things. Well, I have to go now.”

    (He couldn’t get away from me fast enough!)

    Parental Misguidance

    Teaching Knowledge Is A Laughing Matter

    | IL, USA | Awesome, Teachers

    (A professor for one of my classes has a very unique teaching style: he tells bad jokes and random facts related to what we’re talking about, in addition to the lessons themselves. We all love him. He has just told us one of his random facts.)

    Professor: “And this kind of stuff is very useful to know. You can tell it to your friends, like I did when I took this course. Of course, they all called me a nerd.” *the class chuckles at this* “But I won. They’re all working at [Local Grocery Store Chain], and here I am teaching you guys. I tell a bad joke, 140 people laugh. That’s power, right?”

    (He was absolutely right.)

    A Wobbly Knobbly Knowledge

    | Perth, WA, Australia | Staff, Students

    (I am filling out an order form for artwork for my department. One of the questions involves smoke alarms. I look around and do not notice any noticeable some alarms, although I do note a certain feature in the ceilings.)

    Me: “Hey, [Coworker], is that knobbly thing a smoke alarm?”

    Coworker: “I don’t know. There are two knobbly bits.”

    (We both stare at the ‘knobbly’ fixtures until a student decides to intervene.)

    Student: “Yup, those are smoke alarms. So are these.” *points to more ‘knobbly’ fixtures*

    Me: “Well, I’m glad our students who don’t work here know our systems better than we do…”

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