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    Breeding Like Rabbis

    | MA, USA | Language & Words, Pets & Animals, Religion

    (I am in 10th grade Hebrew school class. I am asked to read a passage about two rabbis discussing a problem. I am very shy and dislike talking in front of others.)

    Me: “The rabbis could not come to an agreement. Rabbi Feldberg argued that the laws must stay the same…” *I continue for another minute*

    Teacher: “Yes, keep on reading, [My Name]; you are doing fine.”

    Me: “Um… okay. The rabbits eventually agreed that… Wait… I mean rabbis! RABBIS!”

    Class: *laughing hysterically*

    Me: *wishing I could disappear*

    They’re Babying History

    | ID, USA | Bizarre/Silly, History, Teachers

    (I’m in middle school. Our world history teacher is a somewhat eccentric lady who talks about historical events as if she were actually there and famous people of history as if they were her best friends. After a test on ancient Rome, we get this lecture:)

    Teacher: “On your tests, some of you referred to Julius Caesar as ‘Julie-Baby.’ Let me tell you – I’m the only one allowed to call him ‘Julie-Baby!’ To the rest of you he’s Julius Caesar! Got it?”

    (To this day I still think of Julius Caesar as ‘Julie-Baby.’)

    Up To Your Knees In Stupidity

    | UK | Bizarre/Silly

    (A classmate wearing a skirt has just finished a presentation to the class.)

    Teacher: “Okay, any constructive comments?”

    Student: *deadpan, to the classmate* “Your knees look like they have faces in them.”

    Classmate: “What?!”

    Criticism Started With Mother

    | Moorhead, MN, USA | History, Students

    (In my Intro to Literary Studies class we’re learning psychological criticism. My teacher is passing around a handout on Freudism.)

    Teacher: “Now, like it or not, this all started with Freud.”

    Me: “Well, according to Freud it all started with Freud’s mother.”

    An Alarming Ability

    | MI, USA | Awesome, Teachers

    (I am taking a history class with a world-famous historian. Most of us have taken multiple classes with him and he has specifically asked us to take this class. We view him as a minor deity. One day during class the fire alarms go off.)

    Professor: “I guess we should evacuate.”

    (Twenty minutes later it is clear it was a glitch in the alarms, so we go back to class. Five minutes later the alarms go off again.)

    Professor: “STOP.”

    (The alarms immediately stop.)

    Professor: “I can do that.”


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