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    You Other Brothers Can’t Abnegate

    | Galveston, TX, USA | Exams/Tests, Language & Words

    (I have just taken my GRE (Graduate Record Exam) and since I’m an engineering major I’m amused that I did better on the verbal section than the math.)

    Me: “What can I say,” *singing* “I like big words and I can not lie.”

    Husband: “No, not wordy enough. How about ‘I like big words and I can’t tell falsehoods.’?”

    Me: “No, I got it! ‘I like big words and I can’t prevaricate.’”

    Not Meeting The Problem Face To Facebook

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Students, Technology

    (Groups in my personal health education lesson are given scenarios and have to explain to the class what they would do. One group of girls stands up.)

    Girl #1: “So, our scenario is that our friend is desperate to lose weight, even though she is actually fine, and is planning to resort to using drugs to lose that weight.”

    Girl #2: “So we decided that…”

    (Girl #2 launches into a long, detailed talk about several reactions to the problem, including setting the friend up with a boyfriend and ambushing her and singing ‘You’re Beautiful’ to cheer her up. Most of the class is impressed, until…)

    Girl #2: “So, that was most of our ideas, and—”

    Girl #3: *matter of factly* “and we thought that if everything else fails, we just unfriend her on Facebook and pretend we don’t know her anymore.”

    It’s Too Hip To Be Square (Number)

    | UK | Math & Science, Students

    Classmate: “So, how old are you, [Maths Teacher]?”

    Maths Teacher: “I’m 36.”

    Me: “Oh! That’s a square number!”

    Makes You Just Want To Die

    , | Pougkheepsie, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Students

    (It is in high school debate club. One idiotic and ditzy girl has shown up, to the surprise of all of us.)

    Teacher: “So, [Girl] why did you show up today?”

    Girl: “Well, I had detention, and I told the teacher I had to meet with you so I could get out of it.”

    Teacher: “Really? You shouldn’t do that.”

    (A little while later, our meeting wraps up.)

    Teacher: “So our topic next week will be euthanasia.”

    Girl: “Wait? So we’re debating whether they should let kids into Asia?”

    Don’t Be A Slave To History, Part 5

    | Somerset, NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Students

    (Our health class has gone off on a tangent regarding the Tuskegee syphilis experiment. It started in 1932, and participants were given free meals. Participants were all young black men.)

    Teacher: “Okay, so what important thing was going on in the US around 1932?”

    Classmate: “Slavery!”

    Me: “Yes, because Abraham Lincoln was totally around in 1932 to sign the Emancipation Proclamation.”

    Don’t Be A Slave To History, Part 4
    Don’t Be A Slave To History, Part 3
    Don’t Be A Slave To History, Part 2

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