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  • That’ll Teach Him
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  • Not Reading Too Much Into It

    | FL, USA | History, Lazy/Unhelpful, Teachers

    (It is 1998, and my politics/government class is studying past accusations of marital infidelity against US presidents in light of the Clinton impeachment trial. We are assigned a paper where one of the requirements is to discuss the allegation that Thomas Jefferson had illegitimate children.)

    Me: “Why did I only get 70 percent on this paper?”

    Civics Teacher: “You didn’t meet all the requirements.”

    Me: “Which ones didn’t I meet?”

    Civics Teacher: “You didn’t say anything about Thomas Jefferson. If you look on the assignment sheet, you’ll clearly see that that was one of the requirements.”

    Me: “Are you kidding?!”

    (I furiously flip to the page of my paper where I wrote about that, and stick it in the teacher’s face.)

    Me: “I wrote it RIGHT! HERE!”

    Civics Teacher: “Hmmmm.”

    Me: “Didn’t you even read the entire paper?!”

    Civics Teacher: *dismissively* “Give me a break. I have 150 kids to teach. You expect me to read every last word of every paper every kid writes?”

    (I never took another course taught by that teacher!)

    This Teacher Is A Breath Of Fresh Air

    | TX, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Math & Science, Teachers

    (My physics teacher is teaching us about gravity and air resistance.)

    Teacher: “So if I could suck all the air out of this room, as we lay here dying, we could see this book and this piece of paper hit the ground at the same time.”

    Me: *jokingly* “And then you’d put the air back, right?”

    Teacher: “No.”

    To Moms You Never Grow Up

    | IL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Family & Kids, Parents, Students

    (I have come to the school where my mom is subbing to have lunch with her before I go on a trip. I’ve been sitting in the office waiting for her lunch time. There’s a little girl sitting next to me.)

    Secretary: “Do you know where your mom is subbing?”

    Me: “No, I’m not sure.”

    Secretary: “Well, I don’t see her on the sub list. Let me go check and see where she is.”

    (The secretary leaves and the girl looks at me for a couple minutes.)

    Girl: “Are you an adult?”

    Me: “Yes, I’m 21.”

    Girl: “And you have a mom?!”

    Me: “…yes.”

    Moost Annoying

    | Waterloo, ON, Canada | Language & Words, Pets & Animals, Students

    (I am sitting in the lecture hall before my English lecture starts, getting my notebook out and preparing for class, when I overhear a conversation between the two girls behind me.)

    Girl #1: “What is the plural form of moose? Is it like… meese?”

    Girl #2: “I think it’s just moose.”

    Girl #1: “Like fish? That’s sooooo annoying!”

    Can’t Erase That Outburst

    | Somerset, NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Students

    (I’m in class, and a small projectile hits my arm, falling onto the edge of my chair.)

    Me: “Excuse me, [Teacher]? Someone just threw a spitball at—”

    Thrower: *shouting* “NO! It wasn’t a spitball! It’s a piece of eraser! GOD! Can’t you tell the difference?”

    (The class looked on in amazement as the self-outed thrower continued to rant about how ‘erasers are totally different!’)

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