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    Category: Teachers

    Computer Misapplications

    | Pune, India | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Teachers, Technology

    (Some professors are not fluent in English and tend to make the ask-aks, desk-deks mistakes. I am attending a Masters in Computer Applications course. This statement from the teacher makes us gape with shock.)

    Professor: “All those who have hard diks, please get them to class tomorrow.”

    A Focused Pun

    | TX, USA | Teachers

    (We are looking at stuff under the microscope. Then, the teacher tells us to take a picture with our phones. In order to do that, you have to position your phone where it can see into the microscope and see what we’re looking at. It’s harder than it sounds. I am currently trying to take a picture.)

    Me: *attempting to take a picture*

    Teacher: *to my friend* “This is the most focused I’ve seen [My Name] ALL year.”

    A Laborious Video

    | Lexington, KY, USA | Health & Body, Teachers

    (We’re in biology class and our teacher is showing us ‘The Miracle of Life.’ Several classmates are pretty squeamish throughout the video, especially the guys. Note: the teacher is about seven or eight months pregnant.)

    Teacher: *deadpan* “Oh, sure, they make it all seem glamorous. They don’t show the 48 hours where she’s in labor.”

    Baptism Of Lightning

    | Clinton, LA, USA | Religion, Teachers, Theme Of The Month

    (Because of the weather, we have been cooped up inside all day so my classmates and I are restless. Right after lunch is civics class. Our teacher, as we all know, also serves as a Baptist preacher. As this happens, we are in the midst of a massive thunderstorm.)

    Teacher: “Be quiet, please.”

    Us: *talking more*

    Teacher: “I said settle down.”

    Us: *talking even louder*

    Teacher: “I’m serious; y’all need to quiet down, now.”

    Us: *completely ignoring him*

    Teacher: *losing his temper* “I said SHUT UP!” *slamming his hand on his desk*

    (As his hand hit the desk, lightning struck a tree in the parking lot, about 30 feet from our classroom. Every one of us freezes and stares at him in fear. He waits about five seconds and then…)

    Teacher: “The next time a Baptist preacher tells you to be quiet, you BETTER listen!”

    (We behaved remarkably well for him the rest of the year.)

    On The Hunt For Better Grades

    | Lawrenceville, GA, USA | Awesome, Games, Teachers

    (There’s a history teacher at my school who likes to make his class fun by doing silly things, like giving nicknames and playing review games. School has just ended, and I’m in my last period class talking to my teacher and a friend, when 30 to 40 students run into the class.)

    Student #1: “WHERE IS IT?! THIS CLASSROOM WAS ON THE LIST!”

    Teacher: *seeming as if she expected it* “It’s somewhere on the back wall.” *points to wall covered in posters*

    Student #2: “I SEE IT!”

    (He pulls out a pink envelope from behind a poster. Inside is a paper that reads ‘5.’.)

    Student #3: “‘5′ WITH A PERIOD?! WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!” *they all rush out*

    Me: “[Teacher], what just happened?”

    Teacher: “They wanted to know their test grades early, so their teacher made a scavenger hunt. They have to go to other teacher’s rooms, find the clues put it together, and possibly get their test scores. They weren’t told anything about the clues other than the rooms they’re in, though.”

    Me: “What’s the answer?”

    Teacher: “His old room number. The scores are in the room.”

    Me: “What if they don’t know that? They could get the order of the numbers wrong.”

    Teacher: “That’s why I said ‘possibly’.”

    Friend: “That’s awful!”

    Teacher: “I think it’s more fun than the last time. Each student was given a unique equation and they had to solve for their grades.”

    Me: “I might become a teacher now, just so I can do this.”


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