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    Category: Teachers

    Talking Turkey About Politics

    | KY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Language & Words, Politics, Teachers

    (This occurs during a discussion of Turkey’s government in social studies class.)

    Teacher: “Now, their government is a bit like the French government in which they have a parliament with both a president and a prime minister…”

    Principal: “Excuse me, Mrs. [Teacher]? Can I talk to you for a moment?”

    (My teacher and the principal go out into the hall to have a short discussion.)

    Teacher: *coming back into the room* “Now, where was I? Oh yes, now they have a turkey and a prime minister…” *the whole class starts laughing* “What did I just say?”

    Friend: “That’s going on the quote list!”

    Holding Open Death’s Door For Chivalry

    | Australia | Bizarre/Silly, Students, Teachers

    (My brother spots his teacher as he’s about to enter the lecture theatre, and pauses to hold the door open for her.)

    Teacher: “Ah, chivalry is not dead!”

    Brother: *not missing a beat* “Yes, it is, Miss. And it was women who killed it.”

    Inigo Montoya’s Schooldays

    | MD, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Teachers

    (Our professor is assigning lab partners on the first day of class.)

    Professor: “Now, if these assignments seem random, that’s because they are. I rolled a d20.”

    (He reads off the list, then adds…)

    Professor: “By the way, these are not set in stone. If you just broke up, or if your lab partner killed your father and needs to prepare to die, talk to me after class and I’ll change it.”

    Blinded By The Truth

    | NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Teachers

    (I am blind in one eye, causing me to have no sense of depth perception. Despite this, I am a member of my school’s colourguard. I have mostly learned how to judge distances, but since I can’t see how far away anything is from me, I occasionally misjudge how far away a toss is from me. In this case, my very strict, arrogant band director is watching me do a challenging toss on flag.)

    Me: *completely misjudges toss*

    Band Director: “Why didn’t you catch that? What are you, blind?”

    Me: *pause* “Yes, actually.”

    (I have never seen anyone thrown off their high horse so quickly. Now, much to my amusement, it’s a recurring joke in my guard to call someone blind when they can’t catch something!)

    Thou Shalt Not Bribe

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Exams/Tests, Language & Words, Religion, Teachers

    (My religion teacher has her class memorize one Bible verse per week. At the beginning of the next week, as a scripture quiz, we are expected to write out last week’s verse. She gives us the first two words as a cue. This particular week, a lot of us are having trouble remembering it, so she offers us the third word as well.)

    Classmate: “Can we get the fourth word?”

    Teacher: “No… you usually only get two and now you have three. I think that’s good enough.”

    Classmate #2: “Can we get the seventh word?”

    Teacher: “No.”

    Classmate #1: “Can we get the first syllable of the fourth word?”

    (Our teacher shakes her head.)

    Classmate #1: “I’ll give you 20 bucks!”

    Teacher: “Let’s think about this. You are trying to bribe a religion teacher. What is wrong with this picture?”

    Classmate #1: “I don’t think it is. I think it’s a very nice picture!”


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