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  • August's Theme Of The Month: Best. Teacher. Ever!

    Category: Teachers

    Easily Gets Hopping Mad

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Teachers

    (I am in first grade and lining up outside the cafeteria for lunch. I’m walking along when I randomly decide to hop the last two steps into the cafeteria. A teacher assigned to watch the students spots me and immediately rushes over.)

    Teacher #1: “What are you doing!? You don’t play in the cafeteria!”

    (She drags me by my arm over to a nearby chain-link fence and I’m told to face the wall and wait until everyone else goes in. After about five minutes I sneeze very violently, smashing my head into the fence and making a loud racket.)

    Teacher #1: “What did I tell you about making a commotion! That’s it; stand here and face the wall and DON’T MAKE A SOUND, YOU LITTLE BRAT!”

    (She pushes me into a corner outside the entrance and goes into the cafeteria to check on the other kids. After my lunch period ends she doesn’t come back but, too scared to do anything, I simply stand there for the next 90 minutes as the second and then third graders have their lunch. Eventually a new teacher shows up to watch the final shift with the fourth graders when she spots me still standing in the corner.)

    Teacher #2: “Hey, kid, why aren’t you in the cafeteria?”

    Me: *tearfully* “But, I’m not supposed to leave.”

    (Teacher #2 tries to lead me into the cafeteria to eat, but I refuse to, saying that my lunch period is over and I have to get to class.)

    Teacher #2: “Wait, how old are you?”

    (After saying I’m in the first grade, she immediately takes me to the office.)

    Teacher #2: ” Principal [Name], I found your missing first grader.”

    (It turned out that my classroom teacher had phoned into the office that I had been missing for the last two hours and had most of the staff in the school looking for me. Eventually Teacher #1 walks into the office where she ended up being forced to explain why she detained me for so long. After spending several minutes going on about ‘deviant behavior’ and ‘moral failings’ the principal blatantly tells her to list every school violation she saw me perform.)

    Teacher #1: *sputtering* “Well, the little brat was hopping around like some demented animal into the cafeteria!”

    (Apparently this was more than enough in her mind to justify holding me for so long. Thankfully, the principal disagreed and she was removed from the supervisor roles.)

    A Slippery Slope To Evil

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bigotry, History, Teachers

    (I am in law school, and taking a constitutional law course. Today, we’re talking about discrimination in the civil rights era.)

    Professor: “So, who can tell me about this case?”

    Me: “There was a coffee shop, called the Eagle, that was refusing to serve black people. In this case, the court used the commerce clause to stop private entities from doing that…” *I continue explaining*

    Professor: “Right. So, the Evil… I mean, the Eagle… coffee shop racially discriminated!”

    (She continued with the lecture, unaware of the slip.)

    Going To War

    | Surrey, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Language & Words, Teachers

    (I am nine years old and we have a horrid teacher. There have been lots of complaints about him from parents to the school for his treatment of our class. We are writing about what we have done during the Easter holiday. I’m writing a story about my birthday (mid-April). I want to describe the clothes I wore for my party and need to know how to spell something so I approach his desk.)

    Me: “Mr [Teacher], how do you spell “wore”? As in “I wore a blue dress”?”

    Teacher: “You are ten years old! If you can’t spell a three-letter word by now then I can’t help you.”

    Me: “I thought it was spelled differently, sorry. And I’m only just nine; some kids are still eight.”

    Teacher: “I’ve had enough of your smart mouth. Let’s see what your little friends think of you when they know you can’t spell.” *addressing the class* “Can anyone tell me how to spell ‘war’?”

    (A few kids call out ‘W, A, and R’ whilst he pulls me over to the blackboard.)

    Teacher: “Write that on the board so you don’t forget.”

    (I am mortified by what he has done, making me look stupid in front of everyone just because he wouldn’t listen. This makes me really angry.)

    Me: “I know how to spell “war” like fighting. I don’t know how to spell “wore” like clothes. You didn’t listen to me. You are a bad teacher and a horrible person and a bully. I’m telling.”

    (I walked out of the classroom and went to the headmistress. The headmistress clearly said something to him because the next day I was called to her office, with my parents, and my teacher apologised for his behaviour. The rest of the year was a bit better. Strangely, he didn’t return to our school after the summer.)

    Needs A Replacement Replacement Plan

    | WI, USA | Family & Kids, Teachers

    (I walk past one of my professors, who is showing a student how he wants some packets put together for him for recruitment purposes. I also have a sibling who is a high school senior.)

    Me: “Hello, [Professor]. What are you working on?”

    Professor: “Working on replacing you two.”

    Me: “I’ve already replaced myself. I have a sibling coming here next year.”

    A Class Deflection

    | Australia | Language & Words, Teachers

    (We have this one math teacher who has just started teaching us. Based on our first impressions of him, we get the feel that overall, he’s relatively serious, until this happens.)

    Student #1: “[Teacher], do you have a favorite class?”

    Teacher: “[Student #1], I don’t play favorites with classes or students.”

    Student #2: “Come on, [Teacher]. We all know that deep down, you must have a favorite.”

    (This goes on for a few more minutes, between the teacher and these two students.)

    Teacher: “Do you really want to know?”

    Students #1 & #2: “Yes!”

    Teacher: “Well, I can honestly say, that out of all the classes I’ve taught here, you guys are one of them.”

    (It took those two a while to catch on.)

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