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  • June's Theme Of The Month: Field Trip, Part 2!

    Category: Teachers

    Badgering With Questions

    | CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Pets & Animals, Teachers

    (My friend and I are taking an introduction to technical theatre class as part of our acting major requirement, so our professor has taken us to the scene shop to look at some tools.)

    Professor: “Now, do not distract someone using a saw… unless they’re on fire… or there’s a badger eating their back.”

    Friend: *to me* “Where do the badgers come from?”

    Professor: *overhearing her* From holes in the ground…” *pauses* “When a mommy badger and a daddy badger love each other very much…”

    Sees All And Hears All

    | Antioch, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Teachers

    (Our male industrial tech teacher has a tough, ‘drill sergeant’ type attitude sometimes, though he’s not so bad once you get used to him. He also has a shaved head.)

    Teacher: “Hey! I see you back there with your cell phone! Don’t think you can hide from me! I see everything in this room! I’m like an eagle!”

    Male Student: *whispering to a friend* “Yeah, a BALD eagle!”

    Teacher: *whips around to face the other student* “What did you just call me?!”

    (The boy looked terrified while most of the class either laughed or cringed sympathetically. Luckily, the teacher just laughed it off and the boy didn’t get it further trouble.)

    The Money Isn’t The Only Thing That’s Fake

    | London, England, UK | Math & Science, Money, Teachers

    (I have recently gone back to college to get more qualifications. As part of the induction day we do an activity in groups where we are given one hundred fake pounds to buy materials with which to make a raft. My team comes up with a design that will cost 63 fake pounds, leaving us some change to make later additions if we want them. We go to the materials “store” to buy our materials and I have this exchange with the person running it.)

    “Store” Keeper: “So that’s… £30 plus £8, add £25 so it’s uh…”

    Me: “It’s £63.”

    “Store” Keeper: “That’s right; £63 please.”

    (I hand over £65, expecting £2 in change.)

    “Store” Keeper: “Okay, here is your change.”

    (He hands me £35.)

    Me: “Are you sure about that?”

    (He proceeds to explain the huge train of logic he went through to get there which had something to do with me paying £65 total and handing over £100.)

    Me: “But I gave you £65… You owe me £2; that’s it.”

    “Store” Keeper: “Oh… uh, yes, that’s right. Sorry.”

    (The best part? I found out the next day that he was my maths teacher…)

    Physically Impossible

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bad Behavior, Teachers

    (Our class is waiting in the corridor outside the science lab for our first physics class. We have been warned that our teacher is very strict about arriving on time and so are all there a few minutes before class begins. I am forgetful and frequently late, but have managed to get to this class early.)

    Friend #1: “Oh, good, you’re here on time. [Friend #2] was worried you’d get into trouble with [Physics Teacher] for being late.”

    Friend #2: “Well, [Older Student] said he gives detentions if you’re even a couple of minutes late. He’s really strict.”

    (The class in the lab next to ours show up a few minutes later, as they have a more relaxed teacher. Their teacher shows up and lets them into the lab. Our teacher does not appear. It is now five minutes past when our class is meant to start.)

    Friend #1: *sudden realisation* “What if he’s already in the lab and thinks we’re ALL late?”

    (She checks the lab through the tiny window in the (locked) door, but there’s no one in there. Ten minutes pass. Rampant speculation begins.)

    Friend #2: “Maybe he’s crashed his car or something?”

    Classmate #1: “Maybe he’s ill?”

    Classmate #2: “Maybe he’s waiting in one of the other labs?”

    (Classmate #2 goes to check, only for one of the other science teachers to tell us off for disrupting her class.)

    Angry Science Teacher: “Why aren’t you all in class?!”

    Friend #1: “Our teacher hasn’t arrived yet, miss, and the lab is locked.”

    Angry Science Teacher: “Well you’re all being far too loud! You’re disrupting my class, so be quiet!”

    (Over the remainder of the class time, their teacher came to yell at us for being too loud, despite the fact that for a class of around thirty kids, we are being pretty darn quiet, with everyone making an effort to keep their conversations to a whisper. Somebody suggests that she could open the lab so we could sit in there while we wait, but she declares that we are so rowdy that we are clearly not to be trusted in any classroom unsupervised. FIVE MINUTES before the bell rings for our next class, our physics teacher shows up and lets us in. His first words?)

    Physics Teacher: “You ought to be ashamed of yourselves! [Angry Science Teacher] has just told me how you spent all lesson yelling and interrupting her class. Did it even occur to you to open your textbooks??”

    (He spent the whole five minutes of our ‘class’ screaming at us for being too noisy while we waited for him, and actually kept us back so we all got in trouble for being late to our next class. Worse, the next week the exact same thing happened. It turns out he had managed to double book himself at two different schools for our lesson, and he never made any effort to correct to problem. Every physics lesson for the next ten weeks was just us waiting in the corridor, being yelled at by the Angry Science Teacher and then being told off by him for five minutes before the class was over. Surprisingly enough, we didn’t learn much physics that term!)

    Biological Math

    | Orlando, FL, USA | LGBTQ, Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (My friend and I are both bisexual girls and in an upper-level engineering course. At the end of one lesson, our professor has the TA stand up and introduces her.)

    Me: “Oh, no, she’s cute…”

    Friend: “Yeah, I might just… never understand the homework… just be in her office hours all the time…”

    Me: “I know, right?”

    Friend: “She’ll be like, ‘but this is basic algebra!’ and I’ll be like, ‘I don’t understand. Just explain it one more time!'”

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