July's Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Musical Mayhem

Death To The Derrière

, | TX, USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

(It is during the annual UIL (University Interscholastic League) contest. As a requirement, all orchestras have to play three pieces for the concert portion of said contest. One of the pieces being performed by my group is called “Ase’s (pronounced ‘Ace’s’) Death”. As per contest rules, an announcer announces the pieces we are playing before we begin. However…)

Announcer: “Today, the [My School] orchestra will be playing [Piece #1], Asses’ Death by Grieg, and [Piece #3].

(I wonder if the announcer noticed some of the students snickering at that unfortunate mispronunciation.)

He Could Teach You, But He’d Have To Charge

| Ireland | Musical Mayhem, Students

(My brother is in his final year of secondary school, so a lot of emphasis is being placed upon preparing for exams. Particularly, essay formats and hints are being dished out like they were going out of fashion by his teachers.)

English Teacher: “It’s always a good idea to start your essays with a relevant quote.”

Student: *loudly, while pretending to write* “My… milkshake… brings.. all the… boys… to… the.. yard…”

A Window To The Impossible

| AB, Canada | Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem, Students

(There is a small ledge in front of windows that are very high up.)

Teacher: “[Student #1], can you please open the windows?”

(Student #1 proceeds to open the windows. He uses the small ledge to inch across to the windows.)

Teacher: “Wow, that kind of looks like Tom Cruise from Mission Impossible.”

(Then she turns to a rather short kid.)

Teacher: “[Student #2], do you want to open the window?”

Student #2: “Now that really is Mission Impossible!”

Drive You In-Zayn

| GA, USA | Awesome, Musical Mayhem, Teachers

(The teacher is handing out composition books after checking them over the weekend. He gets to a ‘One Direction’ notebook.)

Teacher: “Whose Infinite Depression notebook is this?”

Literally Singing You Praises

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Musical Mayhem, Teachers

(I go to a well-known private high school. Before high school I was in a junior choir that sang at an international level. Since the demand is so high the audition is very demanding, and you have to re-audition every year to keep your spot. I consistently do this for five years until I age out of the program. When I enter high school I decide to audition for both the international senior choir and my high school choir. I audition and get into the senior choir but not the school choir and instead go to the open choir that’s also run at my school. The instructor teaches both choirs and always makes a point to remind us that we’re not as good as the audition choir. Halfway through the year my choir instructor has an announcement.)

Instructor: “All right, everyone, I want you all on your best behaviour. A conductor from [senior choir] is coming in to talk to you all. This will be a good opportunity to see if you can improve enough to join our audition choir.”

(We arrive next rehearsal and low and behold, it’s my current international senior choir conductor! He gives us a very good lesson and recognises me halfway through. When the class is over he beckons for me to stay behind to chat.)

Me: “[Conductor]! How are you?”

(We talk for several minutes until my high school instructor comes over.)

Instructor: “Now, now, little miss. Don’t bother the poor conductor. Run along to your next class.”

Conductor: *frowns in confusion* “But aren’t we going to your auditioned choir next?”

Instructor: “Yes.”

Conductor: “Well, isn’t [My Name] in the auditioned choir?”

Instructor: “Oh, good lord, no!”

Conductor: “Are you telling me that your standards are so high that you’re turning down someone I teach at an international level three times a week? No wonder your other choir only has ten people in it!”


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