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    Category: Musical Mayhem

    Only One Of Those Things Is True

    | CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Musical Mayhem, Theme Of The Month

    (I work as a teacher’s aide at an elementary school. I normally work with upper graders, but a few days a week I have recess duty on the kindergarten playground. This story takes place one of the days I am on the kindergarten playground.)

    Kindergartner: *pointing at me* “You’re married!”

    Me: “I am?”

    (Note: I am not married. I am not in the habit of wearing rings, either.)

    Kindergartner: “You have a husband!”

    Me: “I do? Why didn’t I know this?”

    Kindergartner: “Justin Bieber is gay!”

    (I am stunned into silent confusion as she ran off to play some more.)

    It’s Either That Or A G-String

    | OH, USA | Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (We’re in choir. Our director is telling the altos that the majority of them should not try for the higher note, and should instead stay on the lower note, a D.)

    Director: “Eh… most of the altos should take the D.”

    (The bass and tenor sections start snickering up a storm.)

    Director:  *glares* “Smooth.”

    O, Canaduh, Part 3

    | Brattleboro, VT, USA | History, Musical Mayhem, Students

    (We are in seventh grade, and my social studies teacher is playing a trivia game with us.)

    Teacher: “Does anyone know what country has its name in it’s national anthem?”

    Me: “Canada?”

    Other Student: “No way. It’s probably France or something.”

    Me: “It’s definitely Canada.”

    Other Student: “Last I knew, Canada hadn’t done anything important, so why would they have a national anthem?”

    Teacher: “Actually, [Other Student], she’s right. Also, ‘never done anything important?’ I guess this transfers well into our ‘War of 1812′ unit.”

    (In the ‘War of 1812,’ Canada, still technically Britain, burned down the White House.)

    O, Canaduh, Part 2
    O, Canaduh

    The Song Is Ever Endor-ing

    | NJ, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem, Teachers, Theme Of The Month

    (When I have my students do timed work, I use my phone as the alarm.)

    Phone: “ALAYLOO!”

    Me: *turns it off* “Okay, time’s up. Pass up the papers.”

    Class: *stares at me in absolute confusion*

    Student #1: “What… what was that?”

    Me: “Oh, you see, I’m completely obsessed with Star Wars and that was the ‘Ewok Song.'”

    Class: “Can you play the entire thing?”

    Me: “After we get through the lesson, if there’s time, I’ll play it for you.”

    (End of class:)

    Me: “Okay, you have about 15 minutes left. I’ll play the ‘Ewok Song’ IF you start on the homework so I can answer questions.”

    (After the song:)

    Student #2: “If we memorize that, can we get extra credit?”

    Me: “School’s policy is no extra credit.”

    Student #3: “So, then, um… can we get a homework pass?”

    Me: “I do homework passes! I would be very impressed if you can memorize it all!”

    Several Students: “WE’RE GOING TO DO IT!”

    (I’m looking forward to this school year.)

    Professors Can Come In All Flavors

    | USA | Bizarre/Silly, Musical Mayhem, Teachers

    (My college has just recently built a new lab school, which houses a play-based daycare. It also has classrooms for the college students, an office for the head of the department, and a large common area. A classmate and I are in the common area, working together on our final projects. From the common area, we can see one of our professors and the head of the department in her office, in a heated discussion. After a few minutes, our professor comes out and stands in front of us.)

    Professor: “Girls, I’m glad you’re here. I have a question to ask.”

    Us: “Okay?”

    Professor: “Who’s that rap artist with the big clock around his neck?”

    Me: “You mean Flavor Flav?”

    Professor: “I knew it. I was right. Thanks!”

    (She goes back into the office and closes the door. My classmate and I just look at each other.)

    Classmate: “Did she seriously just…?”

    Me: “I have no idea what that was about.”

    (Both professors then exited the office and offered us chocolate. We decided not to question it too much!)

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