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    Category: Musical Mayhem

    Dancing Around The Important Stuff

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Musical Mayhem, Teachers

    (I am in an AP US History course, shortly after the teacher shows us a video about George Washington.)

    Teacher: “One of the things I like about this video is that it mentions some lesser-known facts about our first president. Did anyone else notice when it said he was an excellent dancer? Now, I’ve never been able to find any YouTube videos showing how to dance a minuet like Washington, but I did learn this historical jig!”

    (The teacher clicks his mouse, starting a lively song, stands up, and does a jig.)

    Teacher: “Who wants to learn the jig? Come on, if you participate in my dancing days I’ll let you teach me your dance moves at the end of the year!”

    The Lesson Fell Flat

    , | FL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem

    (I am leading our weekly preschool story-time. It is this boy’s first visit. He is three.)

    Me: “Everyone stand up now. We’re going to sing ‘Wheels on the Bus.’ Put your arms out and make a circle.”

    Boy: *stands still, arms out but not moving*

    Me: “Come on, get your wheels going.” *I demonstrate the first motion*

    Boy: “I have a flat tire.”

    A Noteworthy Point

    | Houston, TX, USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem, Teachers

    (I am in a community youth orchestra and we have just finished running through a new piece.)

    Conductor: “So this will be the hardest piece on the program. You’ll have to practice. Make sure you play all the wrong notes—”

    (The orchestra erupts into laughter.)

    Conductor: “The RIGHT notes! You played the wrong notes just fine…”

    Only One Of Those Things Is True

    | CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Musical Mayhem, Theme Of The Month

    (I work as a teacher’s aide at an elementary school. I normally work with upper graders, but a few days a week I have recess duty on the kindergarten playground. This story takes place one of the days I am on the kindergarten playground.)

    Kindergartner: *pointing at me* “You’re married!”

    Me: “I am?”

    (Note: I am not married. I am not in the habit of wearing rings, either.)

    Kindergartner: “You have a husband!”

    Me: “I do? Why didn’t I know this?”

    Kindergartner: “Justin Bieber is gay!”

    (I am stunned into silent confusion as she ran off to play some more.)

    It’s Either That Or A G-String

    | OH, USA | Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (We’re in choir. Our director is telling the altos that the majority of them should not try for the higher note, and should instead stay on the lower note, a D.)

    Director: “Eh… most of the altos should take the D.”

    (The bass and tenor sections start snickering up a storm.)

    Director:  *glares* “Smooth.”

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