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  • Pushing Forward From Holding Back
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  • Category: Musical Mayhem

    Give Them A Grinch And They’ll Take A Smile

    | Australia | Bizarre/Silly, Health & Body, Musical Mayhem, Teachers

    (My friends and I are at a singing rehearsal for our school’s music concert. There is going to be a live feed so our director always encourages us to smile or at least look engaged in the music. I tend to not smile, or look particularly engaged. I’m in the front row so I always get noticed, even out of about 400 girls. The teacher notices this.)

    Teacher: *staring at me and miming* “Smile! It looks like you don’t want to be here!”

    (I hear all my friends and classmates laughing behind me and I try to smile. Later in the song:)

    Teacher: *comes and stands right in front of me* “Darling, are you all right? You don’t look well. Do you want to go the medical office? Or sit down?”

    (I can hear my friends trying not to laugh behind me and I start to flush.)

    Me: “Oh, no. I’m fine!”

    Teacher: “Are you sure? You can sit down if you want to!”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (The teacher walks away.)

    Classmate: “That’s how you always look.”

    Me: “…thanks?”

    The Age Of Innocence

    | IN, USA | Musical Mayhem, Politics, Students

    (We are in the middle of a poetry unit and the students are working on different types of poems in small groups. One is an epitaph and to prepare they need to come up with five things they want to be remembered for as adults. One female student is stuck. I’m the assistant in the room.)

    Girl Student: “Miss, I can’t think of anything.”

    Me: “Well, you’re a big ‘One Direction’ fan, so maybe marrying Harry Styles?”

    Girl Student: “Oh yeah! But wait, he’s six years older than me.”

    Me: “When you are old enough to get married, that doesn’t matter as much. My celebrity crush is twelve years older than me.”

    Male Student: “Is it Joe Biden?”

    (I wasn’t sure how to respond to that.)

    Guitar Anti-Hero

    | NC, USA | Musical Mayhem, Students

    (I am in a study period, and a lot of people are just sitting in the same room for three or four hours with nothing to do. One of my classmates has a guitar. This classmate approaches a teacher.)

    Girl: *to teacher*Excuse me, do you mind if I play my guitar a bit?”

    (The teacher okays it, and the girl just strums randomly for several minutes. I approach her.)

    Me: “Hey, can I see your guitar for a sec?”

    Girl: “Uh, sure…”

    (I proceeded to tune the guitar, play several Beatles songs and sing them, and then hand the guitar back. The girl just stared at her guitar and then slowly put it back in its case.)

    Flipping Out Over The Music

    | Houston, TX, USA | Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (I’m in beginning band and I play bassoon, so we practice with the saxophones. Saxophones keep screwing up a note involving the middle finger.)

    Teacher: ”Saxophones! Use your naughty finger!” *he starts to wave his middle finger around* ”SEE THIS?! USE YOUR MIDDLE FINGER!”

    Students: *burst out laughing*

    Several Musical Notes

    | MI, USA | Awesome, Musical Mayhem, Teachers

    (My choir teacher in high school is known for saying odd things that often end up being hilarious. My roommate begins keeping a list of them by writing them in her music and then putting them into a computer document. She even publishes a hardcover book and sends it to him. Here are some of my favorites.)

    Choir Teacher: “One person cannot raise pitch. That’s like putting a balloon on the Titanic: it won’t do anything.”

    Choir Teacher: “Have a nice weekend! Be safe. If you can’t be safe be smart. If you can’t be smart don’t get caught.”

    Choir Teacher: “What are you waiting for? For that crescendo to write you a note? ‘Dear singer, please sing me! Kthxbai.’”

    Choir Teacher: “Folks, if I could make you love dotted quarter notes, you would be a happier person. Take it out on a date… It’s tall, nice eyes, good sense of humor…”

    Choir Teacher: “In the second and third movement I kind of picture Mary and Jesus in the Millennium Falcon…”

    Choir Teacher: “You have to build a wall around your heart and soul, and it has to have a moat and sharks with laser beams and dragons that spit fire and battery acid.”

    Choir Teacher: “We are put on this earth as musicians to show them [the audience] the beauty of the world… Truth, passion, love, belief: these are the things that are true.”

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