Anything Could Happen In The Next Half Hour

| Australia | Parents, Tutors

(I make tuition bookings for students. A parent of one student comes to see me in a huff because of the time of his son’s lesson.)

Parent: “You booked [Son] in for 3:30 pm tomorrow. We can’t possibly make it at 3:30 pm. I booked it at 4 pm. I don’t know why you booked it in at 3:30. You need to move it to 4 pm.”

Me: “I remember you coming to book in the lesson. You agreed to 3:30 because nothing else was avail—”

Parent: “You’ve made a mistake. You need to move my son’s lesson. We can’t make it at 3:30 and you’ve booked it in for 3:30.”

Me: “You booked it for 3:30. I remember the conversation… You even went out to the car to check with your son that it was fine for 3:30.”

Parent: “It’s in my diary at 4 pm, so I booked it at 4 pm. I don’t understand why you’re unable to just book him in at 4 pm.”

Me: “There is another student at 4 pm. She’s been there for more than 12 months, so that time was never available.”

Parent: “My wife told me it was booked for 4 pm, too.”

(At this point I’m shaking with a combination of rage and fear, but I know I’m right so I continue.)

Me: “Give me a moment and I’ll check the registration forms.”

Parent: “I know we booked it at 4 pm. Just move the other student.”

Me: “Give me a moment” *I walk away and find his son’s registration form*

(I hold the registration form out, still shaking, showing the parent.)

Me: “Is this your writing?”

Parent: “Yes”

Me: “Read out what it says under comments.”

Parent: “3:30 Friday.”

Me: “You booked the 3:30 spot. So that is what you have.”

Parent: “I still don’t understand why you just can’t move other students around…”

(Brain explodes.)

The Union Has Its Ups And Downs

| DE, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

(We play puzzle a trivia games between lessons at our tutoring center. One of the older students is reading clues from a card.)

Eleven-Year-Old: “A protest against employers is called a ____ ?”

Nine-Year-Old: “I don’t know.”

Teacher: “Yeah, you do. When the workers stop coming to work because they don’t like what the boss is doing they go on a what?”

Five-Year-Old: “A roller coaster!”

Nine-Year-Old: “No, a strike!”

Me: *cracks up imagining disgruntled workers going to an amusement park*

Fired For Fire

| San Diego, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Teachers, Tutors

(While I was in high school, I signed up to be a paid tutor for math, where we sit in a classroom and help people that come in. There is always one math teacher in the room along with the tutors. Note: The fire alarm was bugging out and going off every ten minutes or so. An alarm is ringing.)

Teacher: “Okay, everyone up. We need to go outside.”

(This happens several more times and every time he orders us all outside, disrupting work. Later, the alarm rings again.)

Teacher: “Okay, everyone up. We need to go outside.”

Me: “Can’t we just stay inside? Clearly the alarm has a problem and there is no actual fire.”

Teacher: “NO, that is illegal and against the fire code.”

(We go outside, and then he asks to speak to me in private.)

Teacher: “I swear, if you try and cross me again I will have you kicked off the tutor program.”

(Later the alarm rings.)

Teacher: “You know what, guys? Why don’t we just bring out the desks into the hallway.”

(The kicker: If it were an actual fire, that would be illegal for blocking the way out for other students in that building.)

The Biggest Problem To Solve Is The Tutor

, | KY, USA | Lazy/Unhelpful, Tutors

(My university offers a free tutoring program where students who have previously taken any class — and had received at least a B — are hired to tutor students who come in for help in that particular course. I decide to get help for my math course because I’m struggling and can’t afford a private tutor. This happens when I finally get a tutor’s attention.)

Me: “Hi, I really don’t know how to solve this type of problem. How do I solve to get the derivative from this type of equation?”

Tutor #1: “Well… If you don’t know it, you probably don’t have to know it.”

Me: “What?”

Tutor #1: “If you don’t know how to solve it, you probably don’t need to know it for the exam.”

Me: *confused* “But-”

Tutor #1: *wanders off to help another student*

(This confused me, as the part of the problem I didn’t understand was exactly what the question was asking for. I wait for another tutor to finish helping another student before waving her over.)

Me: “Hi, can you please teach me how to solve for this?”

Tutor #2: *looks at the problem* “Oh, you just ignore that part.”

Me: “Ignore it? But then how do I solve it?”

Tutor #2: “I don’t know… Just look up how to do it. You’ll find an example somewhere online.”

Me: “…”

(It’s safe to say I left the tutoring center after that. Here’s hoping I don’t bomb the upcoming exam!)

They’ll Be All Rite

| Taiwan | Language & Words, Tutors

(I’m tutoring a student who tends to have trouble with his spelling.)

Student: “Hey, Teacher, how do you spell ‘write?’”

Me: “Which one?”

Student: “You know, w-r-i-t-e. Write.”

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