Karma Travels At Righteous Velocities

| CA, USA | Bully, Students

(I’m subbing in a seventh grade class. The kids have finished what they were assigned, and are getting a little noisy. I am watching the class finish up their assignment when I see something get thrown.)

Me: *to student I saw throw it* “Please pick that up.”

(The student gets up, and throws it away. A few minutes later, I see him throw something else.)

Me: “Please pick that up. And stop throwing things.”

(A few minutes later.)

Student: “Ouch! Something hit me! What was that?”

Me: “Karma.”

Evolution Skipped A Few People    

| UK | Math & Science

(Science Class:)

Student: “So, one morning fish just woke as monkeys?”

They’ve Saigon The Wrong Way

, | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Geography

(Two young boys have come into the library and pulled down a massive atlas. The librarian comes over to see what they’re doing.)

Librarian: “Aren’t these big maps lovely? Let’s see, what do we have here… What are you boys looking for?”

Student #1: “We’re gonna find the place where [Teacher] was born!”

Librarian: “Uh…okay. And, can you tell me, where was [Teacher] born?”

Students: *in unison* “Madison, Wisconsin!”

(Pause.)

Librarian: “This is a map of Vietnam.”

(Longer pause.)

Student #2: “So… we’re not going to find Madison, Wisconsin?”

Librarian: “Not on this map. You need–”

(Both boys started sobbing.)

Splash Fountain

| USA | Geography

(Teacher turns on laptop revealing a background of Venice.)

Student: “Oh, Miss, what place is that?”

Me: “It’s a water park.”

Bitten By A Genetically-Modified Radioactive Emu

| CO, USA | Movies & TV, Pets & Animals

(I talking with friends in my geology class. Two girls are discussing ‘Spider-Man 3’, which has recently come out.)

Girl: “I think Spider-Man comes off as totally emu in this one.”

Me: “Emo. I think you mean Emo. Spider-Man is not a large flightless bird.”

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