‘Do Re Mi’ Became Do Me

| USA | Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque

(In music class, we have just finished watching The Sound Of Music. Our teacher pauses to movie to explain to us what happened to the family afterwards.)

Teacher: “So, two of the children died while they were traveling on the mountain. But, [Main Character] and [Her Husband] had several other children afterwards.”

Student: “So, when they had kids, did they do it on the mountain?”

Teacher: “I’m… not going to answer that.”

There’ll Be No Peace When You Are Done

| PA, USA | Musical Mayhem, Popular, Students

(First day of our music therapy class…)

Instructor: “So, does anyone play an instrument?”

(The entire class is silent, so I decide to pitch in.)

Me: “I can do a mean cover of Carry On Wayward Son on the kazoo.”

Classmate #1: “Ooh, I can punch the keys on a piano and make it vaguely sound like Another Brick in the Wall!”

Classmate #2: “I can bang on a metal pot with a spoon and pretend I’m Lars Ulrich when Metallica was recording St. Anger!”

Me: “We should start a band!”

Classmate #4: “Can I do the vocals? We can use the text to speech program on my laptop!”

Instructor: “What have I created?”

Me: “Something awesome, miss. Something awesome.”

Good Friends Push You

| London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Physical

(I am learning to drum in a drum group, and a friend and I are the only ones learning a certain kind of drum. We’re a little lacklustre.)

Tutor: “Not good enough! Push yourselves! [My Name], [Friend], push yourselves!”

(My friend turns towards me and pushes me.)

Friend: “Done!”

Me: “He said push yourself, not push me…”

Classic Violence

| Blacksburg, VA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Musical Mayhem

(I overhear this after dropping my son off at cello lessons.)

Teacher: *to two children* “Violins are NOT weapons!”

And Drums For A Comedic Rimshot

, | Scotland, UK | Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque, Students, Teachers

(We’re being taught guitar in my first year music class. During the class, one of the strings breaks on my guitar. I am going to get another guitar from the store cupboard.)

Teacher: *shouting* “Oh, you’ve left your G string behind!”

Me: “Aren’t guitarists used to finding those lying around stage?”