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There’ll Be No Peace When You Are Done

| PA, USA | Musical Mayhem, Popular, Students

(First day of our music therapy class…)

Instructor: “So, does anyone play an instrument?”

(The entire class is silent, so I decide to pitch in.)

Me: “I can do a mean cover of Carry On Wayward Son on the kazoo.”

Classmate #1: “Ooh, I can punch the keys on a piano and make it vaguely sound like Another Brick in the Wall!”

Classmate #2: “I can bang on a metal pot with a spoon and pretend I’m Lars Ulrich when Metallica was recording St. Anger!”

Me: “We should start a band!”

Classmate #4: “Can I do the vocals? We can use the text to speech program on my laptop!”

Instructor: “What have I created?”

Me: “Something awesome, miss. Something awesome.”

Good Friends Push You

| London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Physical

(I am learning to drum in a drum group, and a friend and I are the only ones learning a certain kind of drum. We’re a little lacklustre.)

Tutor: “Not good enough! Push yourselves! [My Name], [Friend], push yourselves!”

(My friend turns towards me and pushes me.)

Friend: “Done!”

Me: “He said push yourself, not push me…”

Classic Violence

| Blacksburg, VA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Musical Mayhem

(I overhear this after dropping my son off at cello lessons.)

Teacher: *to two children* “Violins are NOT weapons!”