Us Communists Gotta Stick Together!

| NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

(I take a drama class when I am in eighth grade. One day we somehow get on the topic of Cuba. The teacher asks us if any of us know where Cuba is.)

Classmate: “Isn’t it somewhere in Russia?”

Teacher: “…”

Me: “Dude, it’s, like, ninety miles south of Florida!”

(How this dude got into eighth grade, I have no clue, especially considering that he was in the same Global Studies class as me.)

Depressingly True

| AZ, USA | Funny Names, History

(I am in my Musical Theatre class, and the teacher has just played a song from the musical Annie (“We’d Like to Thank You, Herbert Hoover”). I don’t know Student #1 very well, but Student #2 is very sassy, dramatic, and he is sometimes disrespectful.)

Teacher: “So, this musical actually takes place in the Depression.”

Student #1: “The Great Depression?”

Student #2: *sitting directly behind her* “What other depressions are there?”

(Student #1 turns around, looks Student #2 in the eye, and points to herself.)

Student #2: “ME!”

(Cue a fit of giggles from myself and the rest of the class, except Student #2.)

Coasting Through Your Accents

| Chicago, IL, USA | Language & Words, Teachers

(It’s Drama class, and we are assigned a project where we partner up and write a sketch. I’m actually pretty proud of my handiwork and we perform it for the class. I should note that although I have some vocal tics (I speak faster than most and have a slightly nasally voice) I have no discernible accent. After we’re done, I get this note…)

Drama Teacher: “Good job, [My Name]. I liked the writing and your timing. But could you run it once more without the stupid East Coast accent?”

Me: “[Drama Teacher]… This is how I’ve always talked.”

(He’d known me for three years!)

Toe-tally Gross

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Food & Drink, Teachers

(It’s the late 1980s and we’re in the sixth grade. In our social studies class, we’re learning about cost of living.)

Teacher: “How much does a pound of cheese cost at the store where your family buys groceries?”

(None of us actually knows, so one student takes a guess.)

Classmate: “A dollar?”

Teacher: “What kind of cheese is that, toe cheese?!”

Now We’re Dying To Know

| San Jose, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Students, Teachers

(I am walking back from the bathroom to my history class.)

Teacher: *shouts at class* “What do we like?”

Class: “MURDER!”

Me: *looks at Teacher with WTF face*

Teacher: “Wait, the door’s open. Be quieter next time.”

Student: *to me* “You saw nothing…”

Me: “…”

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