Congruent To Your Maturity

| Portland, OR, USA | Language & Words, Math & Science

(We’re learning about types of congruence in isosceles triangles in my geometry class, and this unfortunate type of congruence pops up.)

Teacher: “So this type of congruence would be Angle-Side-Side congruence, or ASS congruence.”

“DoNut” Test Me

| AK, USA | Exams/Tests, Food & Drink, Homework

(In eighth grade, I had a science teacher I didn’t like. Gradually, over the first few months, she became one of my favorite teachers. There are quite a few students in the class who were not the brightest. Apparently, a deal was made between her and Student #1.)

Student #1: “Hey, [Teacher]! If I turn this in, then I’ll have a ‘B,’ and I’ll win!”

Teacher: “Yeah? But, remember: I’m the one pushing the button.”

Student #1: “That’s blackmail!”

Teacher: “No, it’s teacher privileges.”

(Everyone in the class, including me, tune into the conversation.)

Student #2: “Oooh, kill ’em!”

Teacher: “So, [Student #1] and I made a deal. If he gets a ‘B’ in my class, I’ll buy donuts for all of you.”

Student #2: “[Student #1]! We’re counting on you!”

Teacher: “Hey, let’s throw [Student #2] into the mix. If he gets a ‘C,’ everyone gets two donuts.”

(No more than five minutes later does this happen:)

Teacher: “Today, we’re studying for our test tomorrow.”

Student #2: *loudly* “Wait, we have a test?”

Student #1: *loudly, immediately after* “Wait, we had homework? What?”

Teacher: *looking directly at me, she laughs, and says* “Donuts…”

(We’re not quite sure we’re going to get donuts at all!)

And They’re All A Bunch Of Slytheryns

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Politics

(We were learning about the checks and balances system in the US Government, and about Congress and the House of Representatives.)

Teacher: “Okay, and questions about the House or Congress?”

Student: *not exactly the brightest bulb in the box* “So, like, do the Representatives all live in the same house?”

Detention For Joffrey

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre/Silly

(This takes place in my eighth grade health class. One of my friends, who is generally a pretty quiet and shy kid, happens to be in the same hour as me. Our teacher begins a discussion on healthy diets.)

Teacher: “So, what kinds of things do you drink on a daily basis?”

Friend: *quietly whispers* “The blood of my enemies.”

(The entire class heard him, including the teacher, and about half the class broke out laughing.)

That Actually Makes More Sense Than The Book

| OR, USA | Books & Reading, Health & Body

(We are discussing colorblindness in science class. A student, not knowing any better, asks this.)

Student: “So, is this what Fifty Shades of Gray is about?”

Class: *bursts into laughter*

(He truly didn’t know what it’s about.)

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