Something About The Situation Is Off

| USA | Extra Stupid, Teachers, Technology

(I am fixing a computer a teacher is having problems with and because of this she cannot pull up a slideshow for her class.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, what seems to be the problem?”

Teacher: “This computer won’t work, and I need it to teach!”

Me: “I’ll see what I can do.”

Teacher: “Good luck. No one else can fix it. I think it has something to do with the Internet.”

(I look at the computer and the monitor is off. After I turn it on and the screen is still black, the Teacher has a smug look on her face.)

Teacher: “See? I told you!”

Me: “Let me look at the actual computer.”

(I look at the tower, and surprise surprise, it is off. I turn it on, and the computer successfully starts up and connects to the internet.)

Teacher: “Oh. I could have done that.”

Me: “I’m sure you could have.”


The Sky Is The Limit Of What Mother Will Tolerate

| Allentown, PA, USA | Math & Science, Parents, Teachers

(This conversation happens in my seventh-grade science class.)

Teacher: “The sky has no limit, therefore it is impossible to see the end of it.”

Classmate: “That’s not true! I’ve seen the end of the sky!”

Teacher: “No you haven’t, because it’s physically impossible.”

Classmate: “Yes, I have!”

Teacher: “Oh, really? So if I called your mom right now and told her that you saw the end of the sky, what do you think she would say?”

Classmate: “Probably something along the lines of, ‘Why the h*** are you calling me at work for that?’”


A Total Eclipse Of The Class

| USA | Musical Mayhem

(This happens in a class with a pretty lenient teacher, we are watching a reading video, and one student is messing around with the student behind him.)

Teacher: “[Classmate]! Shut up and turn around.”

Rest Of The Class: *starts singing* “Bright eyes!”

Another Student: *continues the song*

Teacher: “I should have worded that differently…”


That Learning Method Is Certainly Divisive

| NY, USA | Language & Words, Math & Science, Rude & Risque

(We are learning how to find out if a number Is divisible by another number. For instance, if a number is even, it is divisible by two. In this particular instance, we are learning the trick for 3’s. If a number’s digits add up to a number divisible by 3, then it too is divisible by three. For instance, 225. 2+2+5=9 and 9/3=3. Therefore, the following happens.)

Teacher: “To remember the trick for threes, just remember: threesome! Threesome! Threesome!”

(Of course, nobody understood the implication at the time, but I still wonder if she was doing it intentionally or just out of naïveté.)


Should Go (Paper)Back To School

| Portland, OR, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid

(My friend sits next to an annoying and not very bright girl in language arts. He is also currently reading Popular Book by Author, and his copy happens to be paperback.)

Girl: “Wow, you’re reading [Popular Book]? That’s a really big copy, too. You know, I have a hardback copy at home if you want to borrow it. It’s smaller than that one. That way you won’t have to read as many pages!”

Friend: “…”

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