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Spermicide

| Houston, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Students

(I’m in eighth-grade health class and the teacher is talking about sperm.)

Teacher: “There are around 250 million to 300 million sperm cells in one ejaculation. Only one cell reaches the egg while the other cells die.”

Student: “Wait… so, that’s like, genocide, right?”

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When Exponential Functions Meet Bodily Functions

| CA, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Teachers

(We’re in math class, studying exponential functions. A lot of the students don’t understand the material, so the teacher decides to use an example.)

Teacher: *drawing graph* “There’s a lot of ways to explain exponential functions, but my favorite example is the rocket-sh*t.”

(Half the class looks up. The teacher realizes what he said, and looks super nervous — he’s only been teaching for a year or two.)

Student: “Don’t worry Mr. [Teacher], we got your back. Only half the class heard it anyway. What they don’t know can’t hurt them.”

(There was periodic giggling from the rest of the class.)

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A Soul-Destroying Party

| NY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Students

(In Spanish, we are going over when to use different verbs, based on the context of the sentence.)

Teacher: “Are we physically at the party?”

Student: “We are, but our souls aren’t.”

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