The Class Produced Several Successful Papers

| Australia | Awesome, Math & Science

(I am in science class, and as a part of our unit on the environment and the carbon footprint, our class is given a massive stack of paper in order to make signs for the classroom, like “Remember to turn of the lights as you leave.” And like normal 14 year-olds, this quickly transforms into a full-on paper plane battle/competition between students. As we were pelting paper planes at each other:)

Student: “Sir, shouldn’t we be learning or doing something science related?”

Teacher: “We are. This counts as physics.”

The Best Pizza The Lesson

| Centennial, CO, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, Teachers

(We’re all giving presentations. Suddenly, in the middle of a classmate’s presentation, a loud banging on the door interrupts her. Another student immediately walks to the door and opens it; to our surprise, it’s a pizza guy. Note that we are on the second floor, so he must’ve had directions.)

Boy: *who answered door* “Hey, man, thanks.”

Pizza Guy: “Yeah. bro. [Price].”

Boy: “Here, man.” *hands him money*

Teacher: “Hey! What was that?”

Boy: “Well, I ordered pizza.”

Teacher: “No duh. Gimme!”

(We resumed the presentation after a brief pizza party!)

Ultimate Knowledge Of Ultimate Frisbee

| Buckinghamshire, England, UK | Sports, Students, Teachers

(In the UK, Ultimate Frisbee is not popular at school, but our all-girls school has produced teams who have played at nationals and four girls who played for Great Britain in the three years I was playing, but only one of the PE teachers cares about the sport and the team. We are currently being taught Ultimate Frisbee by two teachers from outside the school but I am the only team member in this class.)

Teacher #1: “It’s okay, if the Frisbee hits the floor, your team still can pick it up.”

Me: “Wait, that’s not right. The other team gets it.”

Teacher #1: “Oh, really? I didn’t know that.”

Teacher #2: *rudely* “How do you know?”

Me: “I play Frisbee with the school; I’ve played at a national tournament.”

(The game carries on but the other team is clearly cheating, which I keep on pointing out and the teachers clearly do not know the rules.)

Teacher #1: “We’re the teachers here!”

Me: “Yeah, but you don’t seem to know how to play! Plus, where did you get these Frisbees from? They’re way too light and definitely not regulation. They’re kids’ Frisbees!”

Teacher #1: *smugly* “Oh, so do you have regulation Frisbees?”

(I went to the sports cupboard in the gym and dragged out a huge sack of regulation GB team Frisbees gifted to us from the GB team. The teachers were stunned and I had to teach the rest of the lesson. They complained to one of the regular PE teachers but luckily it was the teacher who cared about the team so they stood up for me!)

Hung Up On Definitions

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(We are analysing cartoons in a history class.)

Teacher: “How would you describe the soldier in this cartoon?”

Friend: *not quite loud enough for the teacher to hear* “Well-hung.”

Me: *chuckles, thinking they are joking as it a serious cartoon of a WW I soldier*

Friend: “What?”

Me: *stunned* “What do you think well-hung means?”

Friend: “Doesn’t it just mean physically fit?”

Me: “Uh…”

I Say Potato You Say Potatograph

| Thornhill, ON, Canada | Language & Words, Teachers

Teacher: “Now let’s take a look at this phatogragraph.” *points at a photograph*

Whole Class: “Don’t you mean photograph?”

Teacher: *looking puzzled* “Are you sure that’s right?”

(The class laughs and looks it up in the dictionary and shows her.)

Teacher: “Hmm, odd; let’s continue.”

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