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The Volkswagen McCartney

| NJ, USA | Musical Mayhem

(I overhear this conversation:)

Student #1: “Who is your favorite Beatle?”

Student #2: “Isn’t that a type of car?”

Blind To Your Blindness

| Retford, England, UK | Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Teachers

(No one likes the chemistry teacher because of her ignorance. We are currently doing an experiment where two chemicals are mixed together to make different colors. We are expected to remember what chemicals are mixed to get each colour.)

Student: “Miss, I’m colorblind.”

Teacher: “Well, just remember what it looks like, then.”

Student: “But they all look the same.”

Teacher: “Just remember, then!”

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Avoiding Drama

| MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Teachers

(The drama teacher is a lot more laid-back and far more sarcastic than the average teacher. His classroom is on one end of the school buildings, well away from all the rest, right next to the parking lot, and he knows a good percentage of those of us with cars are sneaking out for lunch if we can avoid the parking lot patrol.)

Drama Teacher: *lunch bell ringing* “Hey, who’s going out for lunch today?” *pointing at raised hands* “Where are you going? You? You?” *waves cash at chosen student* “Okay, I want a [Sandwich], fries, and a chocolate shake, and if you get caught I don’t know you. Get out, all of you.”

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“Thank You” For The Grade

| Dallas, TX, USA | Language & Words

(Spanish class.)

Teacher: “All right, everyone, here are your assignments from last week.”

(She passes them out: an assignment where we had to write a letter to a friend in Spanish. I see that, very unusually for me, I got a ‘B’.)

Me: “Profesora, you marked off because I didn’t start with ‘Dear So-and-So,’ but the instructions say to begin with a thank you.”

Teacher: “I know, but you should always begin a letter by saying ‘Dear person.’”

Me: “But the instructions say to begin with a thank you.”

Teacher: “Yes, but you should always begin a letter with a salutation.”

Me: “Yes, I know to start a letter by saying ‘Dear person,’ and the only reason I didn’t do it that way is because of the instructions.”

(One other student, who had done the same thing, and I ended up staying after class to try to argue the point. The teacher kept saying, “We’ll just have to agree to disagree!” and I kept saying, “Fine, we disagree, but can I have the points? Since I made the mistake because I was following the directions?” She wouldn’t budge.)

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Zero Attempt At Hiding The Bad Grade

| GA, USA | Exams/Tests

(I have to make-up a quiz I missed in class that has two questions and is pass-fail. About a week later I see my grade hasn’t changed.)

Me: “Dr. [Teacher], have you put in my grade for the quiz I made up?”

Teacher: “Yes, I have.”

Me: “But it still says I still have a zero for it.”

Teacher: “Like I said, I’ve already put the grade in for the quiz.”

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