Getting All Negative About It

| England, UK | Math & Science

(We are learning about fractional and negative indices.)

Teacher: “What do we do when there’s a minus sign?”

Student: “Cry.”


Taking Grade A Drugs

| IN, USA | Language & Words

(Our health class recently took our quiz on the chapter over illegal drugs and their effects on the body. My grade is good, but not as good as I had expected. I ask the teacher if I can go over it with her.)

Me: “I just want to see what I did wrong. In all of my past health classes, I’ve always been really good at drugs!”

Teacher: *chuckling* “My goodness, I hope not!”

Me: “Yeah. That didn’t come out right.”


Choosing Not To Go Down That Rabbit Hole

| AZ, USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV

(In the middle of one of our English classes, we’re discussing ‘The Iliad.’ We’re analyzing if a certain character is a hero or not, even though he ended up giving up information to an enemy under distress. We’re not supposed to mention anything pop culture at our school.)

Kid #1: “Well, it makes sense that he would give up information. He’s a coward.”

Kid #2: “To be fair, this passage here describes the situation as ‘a rabbit being chased by rabid hounds.’”

Kid #1: “I guess that makes sense. Rabbits aren’t going to be able to do anything to hounds.”

Kid #2: *dryly* “A rabbit can’t really stand up to anything. Makes me wonder why he decided to be a soldier.”


(Everyone stares at Kid #3, who kind of wilts.)

Kid #3: *quieter* “Rabbits can do anything they put their minds to… That’s what Zootopia taught us.”

Teacher: “I’m just going to assume Zootopia is a novel you read last year for class, and we’re going to move on.”


Not All Phun And Games

| London, England, UK | Language & Words

(We are in drama class and begin attempting tongue-twisters, resulting in this gem:)

Friend: “I shall pluck the pheasants because I’m a pleasant f***er.”


Toe To Toe Tic-Tac-Toe

| CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Games

Teacher: “So, I see that many of you have your notebooks out but aren’t taking notes, but a few of you are. While not writing notes for some you may work, I know that [Student] probably should.”

Student: “Well, yeah, but when I take notes I become not engaged with the class because I get distracted playing tic-tac-toe with myself…”

Teacher: “Do you ever win?”

Student: “No…”

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