A Renaissance Of Knowledge

| Omaha, NE, USA | Genius, History

(I had spent the first quarter of the year in AP Chemistry; but I dropped the second half of the course due my acceptance that I do not understand the subject even if I can balance equations and perform labs flawlessly. Instead, I am allowed to take the second half of European History; which I have always adored. On my first day…)

Teacher: “Okay, welcome back after fall break. We’re going to refresh some of the major points from the end of last semester before digging into new material. First question: How did St. Peter’s Basilica impact the Reformation?”

(No one raises their hand, so I do, rather shyly. My teacher points at me.)

Me: “The money used to build it came primarily from the sale of indulgences; where the Church claimed that by giving money, you could lessen the amount of time you or a loved one spent in Purgatory. Martin Luther felt that indulgences were a sign of corruption, and that the relationship with God should be personal.”

Teacher: “Exactly. Now, what were the primary differences between the Italian and English Renaissance?”

(Once again, no one moves to answer, so I raise my hand.)

Me: “The Italian Renaissance occurred in the 14-to-1500s, and is characterized by advancements in art. Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Rafael. The English occurred a century later, and imported much of the art, but advanced scientific knowledge, like Isaac Newton and the theory of gravity.”

Teacher: “Excellent. The Hundred Year’s War was ignited by…?”

Me: “The English claim to the French throne, which the French rejected, as they didn’t allow inheritance through the female line.”

Teacher: “Exactly.” *pause* “Were you here last quarter?”

Me: “No, I transferred in.”

Teacher: “How is it that the only person who knows the answers is the one who wasn’t here?!”

Wasn’t Calculating On That Outcome

| IL, USA | Math & Science, Teachers

(We are in an advanced math class in my junior year of high school. Our teacher is new, mainly hired on to coach volleyball. She doesn’t have a very good temper and while she’s good at math, she doesn’t teach it well. This is an advanced class of pre-calculus with analytical geometry. One of the smartest students in class likes to know as much as possible.)

Classmate: So what IS calculus?

Teacher: *annoyed* “What do you mean? It’s calculus. It’s an advanced type of math.”

Classmate: “Well, geometry deals with lines, shapes… that sort of thing. What do we do with calculus?”

Teacher: “It’s not that simple.”

Classmate #2: “Okay, so what would we use calculus for in real life?”

Teacher: *now angry* “I don’t know! Why does it matter? All you need to know is that you’re in this class and you’re learning pre-calculus.”

Classmate #3: *under breath to me* “…Seriously?”

It Had To Be Asked:

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Religion, Students

(In history class, we’re learning about the Quakers. One student decides to ask this very important question.)

Student: “Did they, like, invent oatmeal?”

Still Taught You Something Thirty Years Later

| USA | Teachers

(When I hit high school, I coincidentally ended up with several of my mother’s old high school teachers, including her science teacher.)

Mother: “Oh, you got [Teacher]! He was one of the hardest teachers I ever had! I did this one project, and I worked so hard on it, but he gave me a ‘C.’ I was so angry with him. Good luck this year!”

(Instead of being difficult, this teacher frequently did movie days, showing us old sci-fi films from the ‘60s and ‘70s. One day, a student asks about the movie days.)

Student: “Mr. [Teacher], why do you always show us these old films?”

Teacher: *with joking gusto* “It’s the future!”

(Yeeeaahh, my mother had gotten Mr. Teacher fresh out of school when he was still in Hardest Teacher Ever mode, and I had gotten him 30-plus years later, when he was coasting until retirement. My mother was thoroughly annoyed about the unfairness of it all.)

Christmas Comes Earlier Every Year

| AZ, USA | Holidays, Homework, Time

(I teach high school math, and gave a major assignment to review a specific concept that is very important to students’ future success in high school math classes. Very few of the students have actually completed it, so I’m giving them another reminder.)

Me: “Don’t forget to be working on your Solving Equations Review and get it turned in to me as soon as possible.”

Student: “Wait, when is that due?”

Me: “It WAS due on October 31.”

Student: *gasp* “THAT’S CHRISTMAS!”

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