A Hole Lot Of Suspense

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre/Silly, Lazy/Unhelpful

(In fourth grade science class, we’re doing an activity where we’re given a closed box full of styrofoam pieces and have to figure out the shape they make by poking a straw through holes in the lid. It’s supposed to give us an idea of how sonar works. One girl in my group is lazy and doesn’t feel like doing it, so she peeks under the lid right away.)

Teacher: *walks over to our group, talks to girl* “Did I see you looking in the box right away?”

Girl: “I can’t stand suspense.”

Teacher: “It shouldn’t be that suspenseful, dear. It’s a box with styrofoam in it!”

Don’t Have A Cow, Ma’am

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Parents, Popular

(I am a kindergarten teacher.)

Student: “Mr. [My Last Name], where does milk come from?”

Me: “The milk we drink comes from a cow.”

(The next day a get an angry call from a student’s mother.)

Mom: “How dare you lie to my child!”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but what is this about?”

Mom: “You told my son that milk comes from a cow!”

Me: “That is true.”

Mom: “But it comes from a carton!”

Will Have To Hammer The Concept Into Their Skull

| USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre/Silly, Popular, Students

(My school has a program where the fifth graders are all assigned a kindergarten partner to take to their bus. I am in fifth grade when this happens.)

My Teacher: “Okay, today you will all be assigned your kindergarten partners. We are going to go to their classroom now and meet them.”

(We walk in a line to the kindergarten classroom. The teachers assign me my partner and I am meeting him.)

Me: “Hello! I’m [My Name]. I guess we’re gonna be partners.”

Partner: “NO! F*** YOU! I WILL EAT YOUR SKULL AND WATCH YOU CRY!”

Me: “…”

Hopping Mad

| NJ, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Popular, Students

(I am substitute teaching fourth grade. The students have just finished a coloring assignment and the next course is starting. One of the little girls is still putting away her crayons in the backroom.)

Me: “Miss, I need you to hop back to your seat.”

(The student then looks back at me and literally hops back to her seat like a bunny.)

Great Britain Equals Great Misunderstanding

| Bosnia and Herzegovina | Geography, Language & Words, Popular

(We are learning about synonyms in seventh grade.)

Teacher: “What’s the synonym for the United Kingdom?”

Student: “England.”

Teacher: “That’s right.”

Me: “Actually, the UK is a country comprised of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.”

Teacher: “Really? I didn’t know that. I always thought it was a synonym for England.”

(The teacher was 60 years old.)