Be Careful What Jew Say

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Students

(I work as an assistant for a university, basically doing anything and everything asked of me by students, staff, and faculty. We have a student copier. It’s a dollar to purchase a card and then you can put money on it. Most people don’t complain because printing is free to somewhat offset it. However, if they only need a couple pages, I’ve been told I can use our copier and do it for them but to judge it on a case by case basis. The only exception to this is textbooks. I am not allowed, under any circumstances, to make copies for students from textbooks. I can’t stop them from buying a copy card and doing it themselves, though. One night, I have a student come up to me and wave his textbook in my face.)

Student: “Hey, can you copy a few pages for me?”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but I’m not allowed to make copies of textbooks. You can purchase a copy card, though. It can be purchased for a dollar from the machine next to the copier in the student lounge. It’s a dollar for the actual card, and then ten cents per page.”

Student: “Are you kidding me?! Why can’t you just copy a couple pages for me. I don’t want to spend two bucks just to make some copies.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not allowed to make copies from textbooks. I could get in a lot of trouble.”

Student: “Why are you being such a Jew?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?!”

Student: “A Jew! You’re like those fat cats down in La Jolla. They’ve got a fountain!”

Me: “Sir, you really shouldn’t talk that. It’s incredibly rude and offensive.”

Student: “Screw you. This is America and I’ve got free speech. I can say it all I want.”

(He proceeds to stomp off, leaving me annoyed at his rude behavior. He returns a couple nights later.)

Student: “You done being Jewish yet?”

Me: “Sir, I will not now or EVER make you copies. You will need to purchase the card or go buy your own copier. Good night.”

(I wish I could have done more but by that time of night, there’s only me and a frail old security guard on staff to handle the students and faculty and we can’t force them to give us their names or student IDs. At least I never saw him at our location after the month ended.)


Early Bird Gets The Credit

| WI, USA | Time

(I sign up for a one-credit course that meets 8:30 to 9:30 Monday nights. The first Monday, I get there at 8:30 and only one other person is there and there is no professor. After ten minutes, I go down to the professor’s office to find out what’s going on.)

Me: “[Professor], [Class] meets at 8:30 in 107, right?”

Professor: “Yes. The second half of the semester.”

Me: “Oh…”

Professor: “You’re a little early.”


This Was A Bad Idea

| NY, USA | Ignoring/Inattentive, Teachers

(I receive a low grade on an English class essay. I go talk to the graduate student who teaches the class.)

Instructor: “This is all what I say in class. Don’t you have any original ideas of your own?”

(After the next assignment, I again receive a low grade on the essay; I go talk to her again.)

Instructor: “Where’s what I say in class? Don’t you listen in class?”


Stay Smartly Silent

| USA | History, Teachers

(Our Russian literature professor is giving us a biography of Lydia Chukovskaya.)

Professor: “Matvei Bronstein, her husband, was a genius theoretical physicist. He was arrested and then executed six months later.”

Student #1: “[Professor], why was he arrested? I mean what was the charge?”

Student #2: *incredulously* “It was the Soviet Purges. They didn’t need a reason. He was smart?”


A Continuous Class Act

| FL, USA | Lazy/Unhelpful

(I am in an orientation type class that is required for all students that are new or returning after more than two semesters off, as the school has done several upgrades to their online system and campus. The class is free and lead by an academic advisor. The class is an hour long, and we only meet once a week, a total of four times.)

Advisor: *after reviewing the syllabus* “If you guys have any questions, now is the time to ask! We’re going to be heading on the tour before class is over.”

Student: “Uh, yeah. You didn’t mention anything about completing work early. Can we do that?”

(He says this in an annoyed tone. The work is mostly navigating the website and online system for information and taking quick quizzes to show we know how to access stuff and submit assignments.)

Advisor: “You can if you want. However, you’ll be completely bored in class with nothing to do the remaining weeks. It would be better if you followed along in case you weren’t sure about anything.”

Student: “Yeah, but if we finish it all we can just pass the class, right? Like, we’re done?”

Advisor: “If your work completion and attendance are where they need to be, yes.”

Student: “We still have to show up? I mean, if we do ALL the work, we still have to come to class?”

Advisor: *silent for a couple seconds* “Yes… you would still have to actually come to class.”

Student: *heavy sigh* “Oh, well, okay.”

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