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Lost The Camazotz Plotz

| Boston, MA, USA | Books & Reading, Homework, Lazy/Unhelpful, Popular

(I am teaching Madeleine L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time in my freshman composition class. I ask questions about the details of the assignment to see who read it and who didn’t.)

Me: “And what is remarkable about the planet Camazotz?”

Student: “Everyone there was the same?”

Me: “Right! How so?”

Student: “Uh… I don’t know.”

(I laugh, because there is no way to have read it and know that everyone’s the same without knowing in what way they’re the same. Unless…)

Me: “Oh, did Wikipedia not mention that part?”

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An Alarmingly Lame Excuse

| OH, USA | Excuses, Technology, Time

(My professor is in the middle of giving a lecture for our 9:00 am class. It is about 9:45 and a student walks in the room.)

Professor: “[Student], I see you finally decided to show up. Would you mind explaining to me why you are 45 minutes late?”

Student: “Apple needs to make the iPhone alarms harder to turn off.”

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Graduate To A High-er Class

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Students

(My classmates and I walk into our tutorial room and see that there is still writing on the chalkboard from the lesson before. It says, “Class outside! (315) Bring the goods.” This leads to the following joking conversation.)

Me: “Wow, class outside sounds fun.”

Classmate #1: “What do you think ‘Bring the goods’ means? The period at the end makes it seem so sinister.”

Classmate #2: “Ooh, I wonder if they were bringing drugs?”

Classmate #3: “I bet that will be us when we get to the upper level courses. We’ll need to relax after all that stress.”

Me: “See, I read that and I thought ‘cookies.'”

Classmate #3: “We’re in university!”

Me: “Fine, brownies, then.”

Classmate #3: “You know they’ll be pot brownies, right?”

Me: “Of course.”

Classmate #2: “What about 315?”

Classmate #1: “That’s the class number.”

Classmate #3: “Or maybe that’s what they owe for the drugs.”

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