A Photo-Perfect Response

| Gardner, MA, USA | Awesome, Teachers

(My photography/photoshop teacher (separate but similar classes) is a laid-back guy, but still grades pretty strictly, so there’s a running joke that he perpetuates that he’s actually an awful person. The semester after my photoshop class, I pass by his room while he is teaching another class. The door is open so I lean in to say hello.)

Me: “Hey, [Professor].”

Professor: “Hey, [My Name], you’re just in time! Tell them what I do!”

Me: “Destroy hope and ruin dreams.”

Professor: *to his class* “See?! I told you!”


Needs To Lift His Abilities To Get A Lift

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior

(It is near the end of the semester in college. I have been attending a very small English class, which relies on a lot of verbal communication throughout the semester. There is one student in the class who has gotten the reputation as being an annoying shady stalker who is unprepared for college life.)

Student: *shouting* “Hey, does anyone here live in [Neighboring City]? I need a ride home after class.”

Class: *complete silence*

Student: *turns to my friend* “Hey, Pumpkinhead!

(Student #1 gave my friend that nickname for having long curly hair.)

Student: “Can you give me a ride home?”

Friend: *lying because he cannot stand [Student #1]* “Nope, I have an important meeting right after class, and it is going to last all night.”

Student: “C’mon, man, not even a ride to [Fast Food Restaurant]?”

Friend: “Nope, I am not going that way.”

Student: “You are such a bum.”

(Two minutes later:)

Student #1: *turns to me* “Hey, you can you give me a ride home?”

Me: *telling the truth* “No, I have a Deaf Studies class right after this class.”

Student #1: “Why would you need to study about death? Everyone dies.”

Me: *scowling* “Deaf Studies, sign language, learning about Deaf culture. So, no, I cannot give you a ride home.”

Student #1: “You’re deaf?”

Me: “No…” *proceeds to bang head on desk*


The Law Has Plenty To Say About THAT

| Hobart, TAS, Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Language & Words

(I am studying my Masters of Teaching, a degree enabling students without undergraduate education degrees to become teachers in primary and high schools. We are in a tutorial and having a class discussion on the ethical and legal requirements of teachers with regards to a lawsuit against a teacher who was sued for not interfering in a fight during which a student was seriously injured, and relating to the classroom in general.)

Student #1: “…so inactivity can be as dangerous as taking the wrong action.”

Student #2: “Right. So it’s important to remember your legal Duty of Care so that you don’t get caught with your pants down.”

(The entire class and the tutor erupt into laughter.)

Tutor: “Yes, you definitely shouldn’t be caught like that.”

Student #2: *bright red and holding his head in his hands* “Perhaps I should have worded that better…”


Scoping Out The Dangers

| CT, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Math & Science, Teachers

(I work setting up biology labs at a satellite campus for a community college. We’ve moved buildings recently, and due to moving late in the summer, we didn’t fully move until four weeks into the semester. Consequently, we’re super behind on the labs, and many teachers are combining their labs to make up the difference. I’m working to schedule a lab with a teacher during her lab period in my lab prep area. She’s been in here a while and I’m worried about her getting back to lab as she’s not supposed to leave them unsupervised.)

Me: “Um, don’t you need to get back in there?”

Teacher: “They’re only doing microscopes. It’s not like they can set themselves on fire.”

Me: “There’s not even a gas line in there.”

Teacher: “Oh, yeah…”

Me: “Unless they can spontaneously combust… in which case we have bigger problems.”

Teacher: “And so much paperwork…”

Me: “But on the other hand, that’s a major scientific breakthrough.”

Teacher: “I’ll get the reporters when it happens.”

(Nobody caught fire that day, and I showed her where the fire blanket was.)


Thought The iPod Had Been Bricked

, | Pembroke, NC, USA | Dorms

(It’s almost the end of my freshman year and I’m cleaning my room for inspection. My roommate had moved out last semester to live with a sorority sister and had taken all her stuff. Or so I thought. I’m sweeping and hit something under the second desk, it was a laptop lock still bolted to the desk. When I open the closet to sweep in there I find a brick and a camo hat.)

Me: “Why the h*** did she have a brick?”

(Finally as I’m mopping up I accidentally hit the spare dresser and hear a rattle inside. I open up the doors and find AN IPOD NANO!)


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