Respect Is The Name Of The Game

| San Rafael, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Language & Words, Students, Teachers

(I work with a group of ten second grade girls in a literacy class called GirlSMART. All of them are English learners, but most of them don’t have a hard time speaking the language. One girl, however, will lapse back into Spanish just because she feels like it.)

Student: “¡Oy! ¡Necesito ayuda, maestra!”

Me: *patiently* “Now, [student], I know calling me ‘maestra’ can be considered polite, but you know that I like to be called Miss [name]. Okay?”

Student: “Okay, maestra.”

(She proceeds to crack jokes in Spanish, not thinking I can understand her. I decide to prod at her.)

Me: “¡Oy! ¡Estudiante! ¿Todavía necesitas ayuda?”

Student: *in English* “Did you just call me ‘student?'”

Me: “Yes. Because if you’re not going to call me by my actual name, I’m not going to call you by yours.”

(She’s been calling me ‘Miss [name]’ and speaking in English ever since.)

May Have Been A Sister, But Nobody Missed Her

| TN, USA | Staff, Students, Top

(I am a member of a sorority, but I don’t look like the typical “sorority sister,” so I get a lot of double-takes. Normally, the double-take is all that happens. On this day, I’m shopping while wearing one of my letter shirts. I see another girl wearing her letters and it’s the same sorority as mine. I approach her.)

Me: “Hey! You’re in [sorority]! Always nice to meet a fellow sister!”

Sorority Girl: *looks me up and down* “You’re in [sorority]?! How on earth did YOU get in?”

Me: “Well, I went through recruitment, filled out my bid card, and was welcomed with open arms on Bid Day — same as most all other sorority women.”

Sorority Girl: “Wow. They will take anyone now! Why would you even want to join a sorority? You think you’ll suddenly be thin and pretty and all the guys will want you? It doesn’t work that way.”

Me: “Wow. I don’t think [founder of sorority] had this kind of behavior in mind when she started [sorority]. By the way, do you go to [university]?”

Sorority Girl: “Yeah. I’m going to be a sophomore!”

Me: “Well, allow me to introduce myself. My name is [name], I’ve been in [sorority] for six years so far—four in college, two as an alumna—and I am one of the new advisors for your chapter.”

Sorority Girl: *turns white and scampers off*

(Thankfully, By the end of the year, she had been kicked out for drinking and attempted hazing of several new members.)

El Burro Sabe Mas Que Tu

| Connecticut, USA | Cheaters, Language & Words, Liars/Scammers, Students, Top

(I’m taking a quiz and am seated next to a student who likes to bully me. All period long, she calls me a nerd under her breath while simultaneously trying to cheat off of my paper.)

Bully: *reads off my paper* “Ugh! ‘Dinero?’ I thought the Spanish word for money was ‘moo-la.'”

Me: “No, no. ‘Moo-la’ is cow.”

Bully: *smacks herself in the forehead* “Duh. I knew that!”

Me: “And a bull is ‘moo-lo.’ ‘O’ makes it masculine.”

Bully: “Duh! Everyone knows that, dweeb!” *writes it down*

Best Excuse, Period

| Temecula, CA, USA | Health & Body, Physical, Sports, Students, Teachers, Top

(I have to change my schedule at the beginning of the school year. The class I end up with is PE, so I get into our PE uniform only to find out they are at the swimming pool.)

Male Teacher: “What do you think you’re doing? Get back into the locker room and change into your swim wear!”

Me: “Sorry. I just got transferred into this class. I wasn’t informed that you were in the middle of swim. My last teacher was doing tennis.”

Male Teacher: “Fine, but bring your towel and swim wear tomorrow. You are swimming! Now walk around the pool the rest of class.”

(Unfortunately, the next morning I start my period and I am unable to use tampons at that time, so I once again come to class in my uniform.)

Male Teacher: “[My name], didn’t I tell you to bring your suit!?”

Me: *embarrassed* “I’m sorry, sir. I… um… I can’t swim today. Or for the next week.”

Male Teacher: “And why not?! Jesus, all you girls are the same. Always refusing to swim! You will be swimming today!”

Me: “Sir! I can’t swim! I can’t use… tampons. So unless you want to bio-hazard the pool, I suggest I walk the track for the week.”

(He turns bright red, apologizes about the whole ordeal, and explains he isn’t married and forgets that girls have a monthly cycle. For the rest of the semester, he never asked for an explanation when a female student said they couldn’t swim.)

It Pays To Be Nice

| CA, USA | Students, Teachers

(I am working at an after school program and my kids have a nasty habit of always asking me to buy them stuff.)

Student #1: “You should give out iPods as prizes.”

Me: “No, [Student #1], I couldn’t do that.”

Student #1: “Why not?”

Me: “Well, to be honest, it’s too expensive. I don’t even buy a lot of nice stuff for myself.”

Student #1: “You’re so selfish! I bet you have a lot of money!”

(Finally, the only nice student I have speaks up.)

Student #2: “Be quiet! If she had money to buy you an iPod, why would you spend it on you? You’re so mean!”

(The nice student got an extra gold star that day.)