Now You’ve McGonagall And Done It

| Warwickshire, UK | Geeks Rule, Students

(My friend and I are in Geography class demonstrating different types of clouds with Play-Doh. Struck by inspiration, I carve the Number 2000 into the cloud I’m holding.)

Me: “Look! It’s the new Nimbus 2000!”

Friend: “A new cloud model!”

Me: “It’s the fastest model yet!”

The Right Answer Requires The Write Question

| Brisbane, Australia | Ignoring/Inattentive, Staff, Students, Top

(A student calls Student Administration with a complex question.)

Me: “Okay I’m going to give you some details to write down. Do you have a pencil handy?”

Student: “No… uh… I just have this pen here. Hang on; I’ll be right back!”

Me: “No, wait. Wait! Wait!”

(It’s too late. I spend the next three minutes listening to the student scramble around his home and calling out to his girlfriend, desperately looking for a pencil. Finally he comes back to the phone.)

Student: “I’m really sorry, but I can’t find a pencil. I’ve only got this pen. I’m gonna have to call you back!”

Me: “No wait! Wait! Wait!”

Student: *click*

(Now I ask, “Do you have something to write with?”)

Underneath, It’s All The Same (Tough) Love

| ON, Canada | Awesome, Bigotry, Hall of Fame, Musical Mayhem, Students, Teachers, Top

(I teach a Grade 8 class that other teachers brand as “tough” because of the students, although I get along fine with them. Note that I am gay, and my students are aware of this. Each day, I start with a “Youtube of the Day,” where they can show a video to the class as long as I okay it. One morning, one of the “tough guy” kids comes up to me.)

Tough Guy: “Can I show my video this morning?”

Me: “I haven’t seen it. You know you have to send it to me first.”

Tough Guy: “Please? It’s a music video. I really want to show it, and I know you’ll like it.”

(Note: this student is really into rap and hip-hop, and has sung some songs before that are a little off-colour.)

Me: “I shouldn’t be doing this, but okay. Please tell me it’s appropriate.”

Tough Guy: “It is. I promise.”

(He proceeds to load up the video. It turns out to be the music video for “Same Love” by Macklemore, song whose message is to stand up against homophobia. It is a beautiful video.)

Tough Guy: “I told you you’d like it.”

Tough Guy’s Friend: “That was for you, Mr. [my name]!”

(The class cheered and I cried. I love those kids so very much!)

How’s That For Just Desserts

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Students, Teachers, Top

Me: “Are you okay?”

Student: “NO!”

Me: “What’s the problem?”

Student: “NO!”

Me: “There’s no problem?”

Student: “NO!”

Me: “Are you doing your work?”

Student: “NO!”

Me: “Are you going to do any work?”

Student: “NO!”

Me: “…Do you know any word other than ‘no’ today?”

Student: “NO!”

Me: “…Want some ice cream?”

Student: “NO! …Wait, what?”

Me: “Too late!”

Starring Leo-Nested Dicaprio & Joseph Gordon-Loop-It

| Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Students, Teachers, Technology

Professor: “…so, to do that, we need to implement another for loop.”

Classmate #1: “So it’s a for loop within a for loop within a for loop?”

Classmate #2: “For loop-ception!”

Classmate #3: “I was really hoping no one would say that.”