She Has A-mother Thing Coming

| Tasmania, Australia | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Parents, Top

(I am 23, although I’m often mistaken for much younger. I’m heavily pregnant and married. I’m coming in to the local high school to pick up my niece for her band practice. A mother sees me in the main office room.)

Mother: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Mother: “Oh, you should be sorry alright! You’re a disgrace! You went and got yourself knocked up, and now you’re skipping class! You shouldn’t be allowed to come here; this is a proud Catholic school and you are a simply disgrace to everyone! God will not look kindly on you!”

Me: “Excuse me?! I’m not a student here!”

Mother: *scoffs* “Oh, of course you are!”

(I’ve had a long, hard day, and this is just the last straw.)

Me: “Listen, I’m 23, and I’m just here to pick up my niece. I am married, and if I was Christian, I’m sure God would be happier with me beginning a healthy family than you for being so rude!”

B Is For Blackmail

| BC, Canada | Cheaters, Students, Teachers

(My math teacher used to joke before each test about bribes for good grades. I get to witness the last time he ever did that.)

Student #1: “So, how much does an A cost?”

Teacher: “Oh, an A will cost you fifty bucks.”

Student #2: “I can’t afford that! How about a B?”

Teacher: “Mm, say, oh… twenty bucks.”

Student #3: *with a huge grin* “Hey, [teacher]! What would you pay for a recording of this conversation?”

These Aren’t The Hemorrhoids You’re Looking For

| Arizona, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Geeks Rule, Staff, Students

(I’m a volunteer in the drama section of an arts camp for 3-6 graders. We’re playing a game that requires the kids to walk around the room, but one girl has decided to scoot on her butt across the floor instead.)

Me: “Honey, why are you scooting like that?”

Girl: *waves her hand like a Jedi* “You can’t see me.”

Me: “…What?”

Girl: *waves her hand again* “You’ve seen nothing!” *scoots away*

Random Accelerations Of Kindness

| Wirral, UK | Awesome, Staff, Top, Transportation

(I’m 12 years old and have just missed the bus to school; after running after it in vain, it pulls away. However, a second bus pulls up and the driver yells to me.)

Driver: “Hop in!”

Me: “What?”

Driver: “Come on!”

(I hop on the bus. The driver pulls away from the stop at speed and catches up to the first bus.)

Driver: “Go on! Get up earlier next time.”

(I thank him, jump off, and run to the bus I need. It was such an awesome little thing; I hope he had a good day knowing the good deed he did!)

Laziness Can Be A Glitter Pill To Swallow

| Pennsylvania, USA | Lazy/Unhelpful, Students, Teachers, Top

(Our math class is divided into groups for an assignment where we have to take clippings from the newspaper. I am the only girl in the group. Near the end of the assignment, I realize that the guys haven’t kept notes about where they found their articles.)

Me: “Okay, so we’ve got our problems done, but we need to go back and find the articles so we can do citations.”

Guy #1: “Oh, we’ll just make something up. It’s not like she’s going to check or anything.”

Guy #2: “Yeah, don’t worry about it.”

Me: “Well, I’d rather have the correct citations, but if you can make them seem believable, I guess we can make that work…”

(Our next meeting is the day before the assignment is due. None of the citations are done. Note that I volunteered to put everything together at the end.)

Me: “I thought you guys were going to make citations for these.”

Guy #2: “Well, we figured since we were going to make them up anyway, you could just do it when you put everything together.”

Me: “But I don’t have time to make up all of your citations. I don’t even know what papers these are from!”

Guy #1: “Well then just leave it blank.”

Me: “But—”

Guy #1: “I’ve got stuff to do today. Are we done?”

Me: “No! We need to figure this out!”

Guy #1: “Well, good luck with that.”

Guy #2: “Yeah, see ya!”

(I spend all night creating citations for every article. When it comes time to put everything together, I decide to pick the most girly binder I own: pastel rainbow with glitter. When I get to class, I put the binder on the professor’s desk before the guys come in. She calls us up after class.)

Professor: “So, you all looked this over before you turned it in?”

Guy #1: “Yep. It was a group effort.”

Professor: “And you agreed to the rainbow, glitter binder?”

Guy #1: “…Yeah.”

Professor: “Well then. I have to say, it certainly stands out from the others.”

(The professor called them on their lie. I got an A on the project—they did not.)