Take A Page Out Of Their Book

| USA | Books & Reading, Popular, Teachers

(I am in seventh grade advanced English class, taught by a rather elderly woman. We are assigned a book, “The Maze in the Heart of the Castle,” about a boy going through the five stages of grief. We are assigned it on Friday and told to read chapter one by Tuesday. This happens on Monday.)

Teacher: “All right, class, time to get settled. I know the first chapter isn’t due until tomorrow, so I thought we’d listen to an audiobook of the chapter today.”

(I am an extreme reader and always carry around at least one book for pleasure in my backpack at all times, which I pull out and start to read. My seat is in the front row, directly in front of her desk.)

Teacher: “What are- ? [My Name]! You need to be paying attention, even if you’ve read the chapter for tomorrow.”

Me: *looking up at the teacher with surprise* “But I don’t like listening to books! Anyway, I finished it twice over the weekend.”

Teacher: *mockingly slow, thinking she’s going to ‘catch me out’* “Really now? All right, go stand at the front of the room!” *I comply* “You said you read ‘the whole thing’? Okay, what did [Person] do in [early event]?”

Me: “[Correct answer].”

Teacher: “And how did [much later event]?”

Me: “[Correct answer]”

(She flings more questions at me rapidly, and I give the right answer each time. Many of my classmates are openly grinning by this point.)

Teacher: “…You can sit down now.”


Successfully Stresses The Point

| UT, USA | Awesome, Exams/Tests, Popular, Teachers

(In seventh grade we have a health class with a kind, funny, cheerful teacher who is everyone’s favorite. One day we get to class and she’s sitting at her desk looking crestfallen. We immediately realize that something is wrong.)

Teacher: *in a quiet, somber tone* “Everyone… I have some bad news. Apparently the school board has voted for my immediate removal. I guess there were some complaints from parents, and my students’ test scores haven’t been the best… They’re giving me one last chance to prove that I’m a good teacher and that you are all learning valuable lessons. So I’m going to give you a quiz. You have three minutes to finish it, and if you all get full marks, I won’t be fired.”

(We’re all stunned, and we love her so much that when she tells us to begin the quiz, we furiously go to work. But the quiz has thirty VERY difficult questions, and it’s completely impossible for anyone to even finish it, let alone get full marks. By the end of the three minutes, we’re all in a horrified panic, and a few students are actually crying in dismay. The teacher had her head in her hands during the whole quiz. When it’s over, she looks around at us resignedly, then stands up with a sigh and raises the projector screen to reveal writing on the blackboard.)

Teacher: *her cheerful self again* “Today we’ll be learning about stress!”


Ever So Slightly Bored

| Germany | Books & Reading, Students

(We’re doing poetry analysis and our task is to write the intention of the author and their own opinion. Nobody likes the subject or the teacher. Our teacher picks a student to read what they wrote.)

Student: “I think the poem is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very boring.”