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Bodily Functions Obey No Pay Grade

| GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular, Teachers

(We have a sub for my math class while my teacher is getting surgery. The sub is horrible and cranky.)

Me: “Can I go to the bathroom?”

Teacher: “What makes you think you can just get up and leave this room? You are entitled brats who think they matter. Well, until you get paid the big bucks like me, your opinion doesn’t matter at all.”

Me: “Okay… but I still need to go to the bathroom.”

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When Geometry Gets Messy

| USA | Bad Behavior, Math & Science, Teachers

(This takes place during my geometry class, when the teacher is lecturing.)

Teacher: “So, who can tell me what is produced when two planes intersect?”

All Students: “A line!”

Teacher: “Nope! A plane crash!”

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Father Used Norovirus And It Was Super-Effective

| PA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Popular

(It’s nearing the end of the school year and a couple weeks from Father’s Day, and with nothing else to do, my classmates and I get into a discussion on our favorite childhood memories with our fathers.)

Classmate #1: “Our air conditioner wasn’t the greatest, so every summer when it got really, really hot, my dad would go to the store and buy a box of popsicles and we’d sit in his room with three fans going and eat the entire box while watching TV. He always let me eat all the red ones.”

Classmate #2: “My dad took me camping one year for Memorial Day and it rained the entire time, so we stayed in the tent and played board games and wrote a story.”

Classmate #3: “One year my sister and I got norovirus and had to stay home from school, and we kept throwing up in the same spot in the kitchen, so my dad put a masking tape line on the floor and told us that whoever could throw up that far would get to name our new puppy!”

Everyone Else: *long, extended silence*

Classmate #3: “And that’s why my dad let me name our dog Pikachu!”

(We then continued talking like that never happened.)

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Skipping Out On Skip Day

| GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular, Students

(Almost every girl in our class is either skipping or at a sports related field trip, except for myself. All the girls sit on one side of the class, so my teacher notices this really quickly.)

Teacher: “What is this, girl’s skip day?”

Me: “Wait, is that today?”

(I ran out of the class room and didn’t go back to class until my teacher went into the hall and called for me.)

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Behaving I-gnome-iniously

| Rochester, NY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Rude & Risque

(I’m in an English class, which is a complete joke. The teacher has a good sense of humor and understands how bored the class is.)

Teacher: “It’s like having a thousand little gnomes gnawing at your feet! No one wants that.”

Me: *no idea what he’s going on about and slightly confused* “Why are we talking about your fetish?”

Class: *bursts out laughing*

Me: “What?”