A Heartfelt Plea To Get Better

| USA | Health & Body, Math & Science

(In physiology lab, we are electrically stimulating rate hearts.)

Physiology Student #1: *pointing to rate and strength of contraction heart monitor* “Oh, look, it’s getting better.”

Physiology Student #2: “The heart has been ripped from the chest of a rat. It’s not getting better. It’s dead.”

Totally Rococious

| USA | Art/Design

Art History Professor: *explaining a painting* “When we’re talking about the fake cupids interacting with the real cupids, we’re in some fantasy world. It’s Rococo.”

Sorry, Mr Zither

| USA | Bad Behavior, Exams/Tests

(For our history midterm, our class is in the auditorium for some reason. There are desks on the stage, and we are sitting in alphabetical order. There aren’t enough desks for the last two kids; me and one other student.)

Teacher: “I couldn’t get any extra desks. Here, you can sit in the first row and take the test there. Put your papers on these books so it’s easy to write.” *she gives us history textbooks*

Me: *in disbelief* “Okay…”

(I didn’t cheat, but I was very uncomfortable having to crane my neck and take the test in my lap. I’m pretty sure that affected my grade a bit. When I told my mom this story, she said it should be illegal not to give a student a desk to take a midterm just because their last name starts with a letter near the end of the alphabet!)

My Teacher The Crook

| TX, USA | Backhanded Compliments, Musical Mayhem

(Our orchestra is in class the day after a concert.)

Director: “Y’all did really good at your concert last night!”

Class: “Thanks!”

Director: “In fact, I have a gift for all of you!”

Class: “What is it?”

Director: *shows folder* “It’s your next chair tests!”

Classmate: “What? That’s cruel, Mrs. [Director].”

(The director laughs as she hands us the list of the excerpts we have to play for our next chair test. My classmate notices something odd about how the list was printed.)

Classmate: “Mrs. [Director], these chair tests are crooked, just like your sense of humor.”

(The director laughed even harder, and the rest of the class joined in.)

Puns Reached Tea Total

| England, UK | Pranks, Staff

(I am good friends with the tech support team at the college. They know me for my array of terrible jokes or “puns.” In the last couple of weeks, the school has put up a board by the door with quotes from the staff about selected students.)

Board: “To [My Name], have a drink on us! From the Tech Support team.”

(Stapled beneath was a tea bag.)