Stop Being Such A Diction

| AZ, USA | Bully, Language & Words

(The entire grade is coming home from a field trip on a school bus. There are two teachers on it with us, one that doesn’t teach our grade and one that does. Towards the back of the bus, a boy starts bullying the girl next to him, calling her hurtful names and making sexist remarks, just quietly enough that the teachers can’t hear. She finally gets fed up.)


(There is an awkward silence as both teachers look back at her.)

Teacher #1: “Young lady, watch your diction! What’s your name? I’m going to be telling your teacher about this!”

Teacher #2: “Hey, she’s my student. I can take care of this.”

(He walks to the back and the students around the girl tell the story.)

Teacher #2: “Okay, [Girl], watch your mouth. Boy, stop being such a d*** a**-hole.”

Teacher #1: *shocked* “[Teacher #2], diction!”

Teacher #2: “Oh, my diction was just right.”


Mr. Burns

| Sheffield, England, UK | Awesome, Math & Science, Teachers

(I am in GCSE Science. Since we do double award, we have three teachers who teach in a cycle. This is our chemistry class and we’re the top set in the year. The teacher has us all gather around his bench at the front, then he turns on a gas tap and lights the stream of gas that come out. After it has burnt for several seconds he turns the tap off.)

Teacher: “Now you know what that looks like, so none of you ever needs to do it.”

(He quickly became the favourite of the three science teachers we had.)


Jailhouse School Of Rock

| USA | Family & Kids

(I’m riding in the car with several of my family members. We’re on our way to drop my older brother off at school. My young sister who is around eight is sitting next to him. We don’t want to pass the school, so everyone is keeping an eye out.)

Sister: “Is this [Brother]’s school?”

Mom: *looks at building* “That’s a jail…”

Brother: “Yep, it’s my school.”


One Key Problem

| UK | Bad Behavior, Staff

(I’m the front-desk administrator, signing-in a visitor who has just arrived for an interview. The deputy head, who looks young and wears casual clothes to cycle in the mornings, comes in to borrow a set of keys.)

Deputy: “Morning, [My Name].”

(The deputy reaches over the counter for the keys.)

Visitor: “EXCUSE ME! You do not interrupt. You should have respect. Don’t speak to an adult like that. And don’t even think about answering back. Do you think you can take those keys without permission? What do you say?”

Deputy: “I say whatever I feel like.” *tosses keys into a pocket and walks inside*

(Visitor continues muttering as he takes his seat in the waiting area. Minutes later, the deputy, now wearing work attire, and assistant, come to take him for interview.)

Deputy: “[Deputy], Deputy head. Now, you can talk to me however you desire, but if that was any clue to how you plan to treat my students, then we have a serious problem.”


Your Thought Is Lost At Sea

| AK, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

(We are sitting in class when one of the students asked a question:)

Student #1: “Is there such a thing as a floating island?”

(Another student quickly chimed in.)

Student #2: “All islands are floating islands.”

(The teacher immediately donned a look of horrified disbelief.)

Teacher: “Seriously?”

(The entire class erupted in laughter as the teacher began a lengthy explanation about the formation of islands.)