Hysterical Correctness

| Health & Body, Students

(My friend/project partner considers himself transgender, but he has not had surgery yet, so he is still technically female. He doesn’t care if you call him by male or female terms.)

Friend: “So I’ll handle [task 1], you can do [task 2] and we should be done in no time.”

Me: “Sounds awesome, dude!”

Classmate: “O-M-G! [My name]! You shouldn’t call [friend’s name] ‘dude’ when she’s a girl!”

Me: “What’s wrong with that?”

Classmate: “Well duh. She’s a girl. You can’t call her dude. That’s a male term.”

Me: “Wait. So you want me to call her a different word because she’s a girl?”

Classmate: “Yes! That’s what equality’s all about!”

Me: “And you want me to make this choice based on what gender I’m talking to.”

Classmate: “Yes! What’s so hard about that?”

Me: “[Classmate’s name], aren’t you a feminist?”

Classmate: “Yes! That’s why this makes me so angry!”

Me: “And… what exactly are you fighting for?”

Classmate: “SO PEOPLE DON’T MAKE CHOICES BASED ON SOMEONE’S GENDER! GOD! ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?”

(The entire class, including teacher, begins laughing hysterically.)

Friend: “Does she realize what she just said?”

Me: “I don’t know, dude. I seriously don’t know.”

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