(Classmate #1 is openly gay, and an officer of the school GSA, which is notorious for being disorganized, so he’s often left after school to work. The teacher often repeats similar things; in addition, he is an immigrant and a non-native English teacher, so sometimes he phrases things somewhat strangely and doesn’t understand some slang.)
Classmate #1: Because I end up staying after school all the time, I’m always eating stuff like ramen noodles to be honest.
Teacher: Ah, yes, I see him after school, (Classmate #1), always on his knees…
Classmate #2: *already holding back giggles*
Teacher: I walk out in the hallway, and there’s (Classmate #1), on his knees, working on a poster or something.
Classmate #1: *looking somewhat uncomfortable* Yeah, because no one else ever wants to do the work, so I’m stuck with it.
Teacher: Ah, yes, you’re a very hard worker. I always see you on your knees out there.
Classmate #2: On your knees, huh, (Classmate #1)?
In high school, I learned that an essay on a test was 3-5 paragraphs.
Imagine my surprise when I failed a test the first week of college because my professor expected essays on tests to be 3-5 pages.
(I’m having a conversation with my friend, who likes to make conversations funnier if he misspeaks, or doesn’t speak clearly enough. He’s just accidentally insulted me.)
Friend: No offense.
Me: (Not hearing him right) Who’s Noah Fence?
Friend: No, a fence!
(My friend is known in my school for shouting and being silly. She is talking to our teacher, when this happens.)
Friend #1: …..Stand….
(Note: I sit by two other friends.)
Friend #2: *mishearing* Who’s Stan?
Friend #3 & Me: *laughing* That was so random!
(Later in the lesson)
Me: Who’s Stan?
Friend #2: Nobody knows!
(This is the end of our junior year. All of my friends and I are in the AICE program, and at the time, most of our U.S. History class is absent due to exams. Our history teacher was a pretty chill and fun guy. He also was very good friends with my best friend due to their connections to a history buff senior. At the time, we are at the end of our course and discussing the attack on Pearl Harbor.)
History Teacher: “So, if you’re a sailor in port on a Saturday night, what might you be doing?”
Best Friend: “Gettin’ some Hawaiian booty.”
(My other friend and I are dying laughing, especially when we notice the teacher heard him and is staring at him. After a moment, he shrugs with a laugh and continues the lesson. Sadly, he moved schools over the summer but he was the best we had!)