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Unfiltered Story #45343

Oshkosh, WI, USA | Unfiltered

(I’ve just started going to school at this particular university and notice a club very relevant to my discipline. After finding out when meeting times are, I attend their first meeting. There, I learn that there are some vacant positions on the Executive Board. Though the club never explicitly refers to it as an “Executive Board,” the positions are what you’d normally think of when someone says Executive Board. After the meeting, I approach the President:)

Me: Hi, [President], my name is [my name]. I noticed earlier that there were some vacant positions on the Exec Board. If you’re still looking for people who are interested, I’d like to run for [position].

President: . . . What’s an Exec Board?

Me . . . ?!

(How do you manage to become the president of a student organization IN COLLEGE and not know what an Executive Board is?!)

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Unfiltered Story #45340

San Antonio, TX, USA | Unfiltered

(I am teaching a 5th grade choir class. It is early in the year, so the students don’t know me well yet, nor do I know them. We are working on learning a new song, and I notice a student holding a 3-sided highlighter. I think nothing of it, until I glance back over a moment later and he has both arms inside his shirt.)

Me: *caught completely off guard, despite years of teaching experience* Um…are you putting a highlighter in your armpits in the middle of class?

Other students: *giggle*

Highlighter student: *with a look of embarrassment* No…

*the highlighter falls out of his shirt*

Me: Was it at least one of the scented ones?

Highlighter student: *nods sheepishly*

Me: Ok then. Back to page 3 of our song.

*resumes class as if nothing unusual happened*

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Unfiltered Story #45342

Reading, MA, USA | Unfiltered

I’m a high school senior in a class called “Facing History and Ourselves,” which is a history course covering bigotry and the various atrocities humans have done to each other. Naturally, Nazi Germany is a major topic. The teacher is talking about how Hitler killed himself when he realized he was losing WWII.

Teacher: So, instead of risking capture and standing trial for genocide and other war crimes, he decided to commit suicide. He actually tested the poison on his dog, first.

Me: *shocked* Awwww!

Teacher: *laughs* There’s always someone! “Oh no, Hitler killed his dog!” “What about the Jews?” “Oh, f*** the Jews!”

Strangely enough, it’s stuff like that that made him my favorite teacher.

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Unfiltered Story #45341

Bakersfield, CA USA | Unfiltered

(I work in a continuation school as a teaching assistant. It’s a facility that takes in kids who have been expelled from their school districts for various reasons, including fighting, possession of drugs or alcohol on campus, weapons, etc. Due to the nature of the teaching environment, two adults are required to be in the classroom at all times, hence the need for an assistant. The teacher I’m working for is a big jokester and is constantly cracking one-liners all day. It’s only two weeks into my job there, and in the middle of class we hear a loud explosion out in the hall.)

Teacher: Hey, if it’s the Unibomber out there, I have no problems using one of you guys as a human shield and getting the hell outta here!

(All was well, though. No one was seriously harmed, unless you count a bench in the hallway. The student had been foolish enough to look directly into the surveillance cameras as he was putting the bomb under a bench, and then dumb enough to hang around on campus to watch what happened. And of course the teacher would never have used the students as human shields!)

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Unfiltered Story #45339

Bakersfield, CA USA | Unfiltered

(I work in a continuation school as a teaching assistant. Continuation schools are those which teach children from grades 1 through 12 who have been expelled from their district for bad behavior, drugs, weapons on campus, etc. For safety reasons, two adults are required to be in the classrooms at all times, hence the need for an assistant. Since at this point I’m only a substitute, my job entails filling in for other assistants who’ve called out sick. They never tell me what class I’ll be filling in on, just send me to the classroom — otherwise we could have avoided this entire scenario. After arriving in my classroom for the day, I see it’s a high school math class. I inwardly groan. I am HORRIBLE at math and I know I won’t be of any use to this teacher whatsoever.)

Me: Good morning! I’m your sub assistant for the day. But you should know: I am absolutely terrible at math. Really, really bad at it. I’m not going to be able to do much more than keep an eye out for troublemakers for you.

Teacher: That’s fine. Just use the seating chart under your desk mat so you know who everyone is.

(I go to the desk, search for the seating chart, but there isn’t one present.)

Me: Hm. Looks like there’s not a chart here. Do you have another I can use, or do you know where your regular TA keeps his?

Teacher: *ignores me, goes about her morning routine*

Me: All right, well.. I’ll just be over here if you need me.

(She continues to ignore me until class starts. Despite my earlier warning of being terrible at math, she expects me to get up and help the kids with their classwork, even though they’re in the middle of a subject I know nothing about, and I cannot offer assistance because I don’t know her teaching methods. I have to repeat several times that my math skills are non-existent and that the only thing I’d be good for is catching behavioral issues or correcting tests IF I had an answer key and didn’t have to check any work. I also repeat several times before lunch that no, there is NOT a seating chart anywhere in or around my desk, and could she please either print me a new one or help me find the original. I finally resort to drawing a rough chart on a sheet of lined paper and making notes like, ‘The kid who sits here threw his pencil at the kid who sits over here.’ By the time lunch rolls around, she is positively livid. She goes to the receptionist who sent me to fill the position and tells her how I’m the worst TA ever, and to never send me to her class again! And this despite nothing but glowing reviews from every other teacher I’ve filled in for at the facility. At the end of the day…)

Receptionist: I don’t think we’ll put you back in [math teacher’s] class again.

Me: Good. I told her up front I’m absolutely the worst at math and she spent the whole day pissed off at ME for being unable to help her. I don’t choose where I’m assigned!

Receptionist: That’s my fault. I’ll try and let you know what class you’ll be headed to next time.

(She didn’t, though. The next class I had to fill in for was a physical education class… which I showed up to in my professional/dress skirt and flats. At least the PE teacher understood the “No, they didn’t tell me I’d be filling in for PE today” I gave him when I arrived!)

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