Category: Technology

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Well, That’s THAT Lesson Down The Tubes

| Denver, CO, USA | Awesome, Teachers, Technology

(We’re in a technology class. While messing around, I figure out how to unblock YouTube from the school’s network.)

Teacher: “Holy crap, you unblocked it?”

Me: “Um… yeah… Am I in trouble?”

Teacher: *rushes to computer* “Heck, naw! Hey, who wants to watch [YouTuber]?”

(Apparently every year they up the security on YouTube, and the teacher was amazed ANYONE got past it this time.)

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A Catalog Of Errors

, | Canada | Extra Stupid, History, Technology

(One of our classmates is a ditz, and very aware of it. We all like her very much, and she provides great entertainment for the class. Our teacher is explaining a book classification system, telling us it was created in 1933 in India.)

Teacher: “We don’t use it here much, but the theory on which it was based has been used to create search engines online, like Google.”

Classmate: “Wow, I didn’t think they had the Internet back then!”

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Cat Didn’t Just Catch Your Tongue

| FL, USA | Pets & Animals, Popular, Teachers, Technology

(I’m good friends with my advanced biology teacher, who often will let me help her by repairing various mechanical and electronic things around the classroom. One morning, after the class has noticed that there has been a long gap in returned work, I pop in for a visit before classes happen.)

Me: “Morning, Ms [Teacher]! Wassup?”

Teacher: “Awesome, you’re here! Here, do you think you can salvage my hard drive?” *hands over a tote bag with a laptop inside that is completely snapped in half*

Me: “Uh, yeah, I can get the drive, but holy crap! What happened?”

Teacher: *looks embarrassed* “You know my two cats?”

Me: “Yeah, Mercutio and Icarus. Did they do this?”

Teacher: “Well… in a way. See, I was grading papers while watching Captain America, and the explosion sounds scared Icarus, and since he started running, Mercutio chased him. The laptop was open on the ground and I had a glass of water next to it, and I saw Icarus going for it, so, seeing this water was going to be all over my laptop I dove for it yelling NOOOO and kinda grabbed the screen and…” *sadly picks up the separated screen from the desk*

Me: “Wow…”

Teacher: “Hey, it didn’t get wet!”

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Double Click Isn’t The Trick

| NY, USA | Popular, Teachers, Technology

(I work as an audio/visual tech at my school’s film center, pretty much just helping professors with technology issues in big lecture classes. The screening room I am in this day holds approximately 200 people, and the professor will set up his laptop to display a PowerPoint on the movie screen during class. I help the same guy every week, and overall he is a very mean old man who is right about everything and incredibly rude to not only me, but to the students who come up to him after class to ask for help. The laptop/screen goes black about 30 minutes into class. I sit in the projection room, hoping he realizes on his own that his laptop screen has gone off, causing the projector to go black as well. After a minute or so, one of the kids in the class comes back to get me after the guy can’t figure it out.)

Me: “Sir, it appears your laptop battery has died, and it turned off.”

Professor: “There’s no way it could have gone off. It’s plugged in.”

Me: “Well, sir, your computer is still running Windows XP. Perhaps at this point, the charger you have has worn out and is no longer supplying the computer with power. I noticed earlier that it was not charging.”

Professor: “No, it’s plugged in. That doesn’t make sense.”

Me: “It could be that your charger is not providing power to the laptop’s battery anymore. The only solution would be to get a new charger or a new laptop entirely.”

(At this point, it suddenly becomes my fault that his personal laptop, circa 2003, is not working properly.)

Professor: “WELL, THEN, how would I get another charger?”

(I know full well that’s he’s not going to be able to get a charger for this laptop.)

Me: “Perhaps you could try our school’s computer store? They might be able to help you there. However, I cannot help you with your laptop here. Would you like for me to set up the PC we have connected to our system for you to use for the rest of today?”

Professor: “FINE, I GUESS, if that’s the only thing you can do.”

(I set up our computer, hand him the keyboard and mouse, and I open Chrome so he can access his PowerPoint online through our school’s Blackboard system.)

Professor: “Oh, good. So how do I open this link [to the PowerPoint] then? Double click?” *double clicks*

Me: “NO. Just click it once, and it’ll open.”

Professor: “Double click!” *double click*

Me: “Ahh, no…”

Professor: “DOUBLE CLICK?” *double click*

(At this point I slide the keyboard towards me, and open the PowerPoint presentation for him.)

Me: “Okay, I, uh, I think you’re good. Just use the spacebar or arrow keys to advance this as you always do.”

(As I walked away, I looked back to see him standing at the MASSIVE movie-theater screen, sliding his hand along the side of the screen like it’s a touch-screen — he could only reach about 1/3 of the way up this screen, at best. At this point, I just hung my head and continued walking away, assuming he’d figure this out as if he’s an adult with a PhD. I turned to see the 200 horrified faces of my fellow students, watching their professor try to use a movie screen as a touchscreen with no luck.)

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The Emoji Designers Need To Grow A Pair

| MO, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Technology

(We have recently been assigned a project to make a story book for a Greek myth and Female Classmate is using emojis to tell hers. As a teacher walks in: )

Female Classmate: “How do I show a eunuch in emojis?”

(The entire class and the teacher burst out laughing.)

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