Category: Technology

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My Wifi Ate My Homework

| MA, USA | Excuses, Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

(I overhear my math teacher talking to my English teacher in the hall.)

Math Teacher: “So I got a pretty silly email today.”

English Teacher: “Oh, yeah? What’d it say?”

Math Teacher: “”I cannot do the homework because the wifi isn’t working.””

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Has Come Across Your Type Before

| USA | Genius, Popular, Students, Technology

(This took place the year our school began requiring all freshmen students to take a computer basics class. I’ve learned all this stuff already, but one thing in particular, touch typing, I learned how to do when I was in the second grade. Evidently I’m the only one in the class who knew how to do it.)

Teacher: [My Name], I told you all that you aren’t allowed to surf the Internet until you finish your assignment! You’re going to fail this class if you don’t do your work!

Me: “It’s just typing. I already completed it.”

Teacher: “You can’t just look at the keyboard and do it! You have to learn this from memory!”

Me: “Which I’ve already done. In the second grade.”

Teacher: “No second grader has that kind of patience!”

Me: “I did. We had a computer lab period in school and the only fun game they had installed on the Macs taught touch typing, so I was an expert by the time school ended in June.”

Teacher: “Okay, if you’re so good at typing, type this sentence into a word document!”

(I prop the paper up in front of me, throw my jacket over my hands and the keyboard so that it was obvious that I wasn’t cheating, and quickly type the entire paragraph with minimal typos, which I instinctively corrected right away anyway.)

Me: “If you want, I can type up the entire book you got that from for you. I find typing to be therapeutic!”

Teacher: “Never mind… Just go back to the Internet.”

(She never questioned later when I also proved to be quite well versed in everything else she tried to teach, or when my classmates would come to me for help with their Power Points. I guess I was fortunate to have come from a house with a home computer before they became something every family had.)

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Your Grade Isn’t Falling But You Are

| OH, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Language & Words, Popular, Students, Technology

(Our German teacher gets creative with our assignments. We need to act out scenes from famous fairy tales. Our group gets assigned Red Riding Hood, with extra credit for costuming. I get a wolf costume nose, and some grey sweats. Our teacher records these skits to show as examples for next year. We have an elaborate scene where I am perched on some desks and then lunge at Red. Take one went great. Here’s how take two goes…)

Teacher: *in German* “And now we have [My Name]’s group presenting. They will be doing Red Riding Hood.”

(The skit goes as planned until I lunge, my shoe gets caught, I trip over the desk, tumble, and face plant into the carpet. The entire class is dying of laughter, the thing is still recording, and I’m stammering out apologies in German.)

Teacher: “Continue!”

(We continue, and I’m mortified. After we’re done recording:)

Student #1: “Frau, was that recording the entire time?”

Teacher: “Yes. And we’re not doing another take.”

(Let’s just say the next year, I got approached several times about my fateful lunge. Apparently it was a great laugh.)

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