Category: Technology

Today Is A Grade-D-Day

| OH, USA | History, Teachers, Technology

Teacher: “Question two: What event in December of 1942 is described when the book says ‘bleached bodies lying on the French coast’?”

(The teacher later refined the question to June of 1942 after the class established that she was thinking of Pearl Harbor. Afterwards…)

Teacher: “The answer to question two is D-Day.”

(I am suspicious, but don’t say anything until I have evidence. I ask multiple teachers that day, who confirm my knowledge that D-Day is June 6, 1944. The next day, after class:)

Me: “[Teacher], I think you were wrong about D-Day being in 1942.”

Teacher: “Well, let’s check, shall we?” *pulls out iPhone* “Siri, when was D-Day?”

Siri: “June 6, 1944”

Teacher: “All right, then…”

Not So Smart-Phone, Part 2

| OH, USA | Teachers, Technology

(Someone’s phone makes a beep. The teacher chooses not to notice. A few minutes pass, and it happens again.)

Teacher: “All right, guys, whose phone is it?”

(No one speaks up.)

Teacher: “Okay, this is for your own sake. Everyone take your phones out and put them on your desk.”

(Everyone does. Soon enough, the phone goes off again.)

Teacher: *checks all our phones* “Okay, who didn’t take their phone out?”

Me: “Ma’am, I think it’s your phone. It seems to be coming from your desk.”

Teacher: “That’s ridiculous” *continues lesson*

(The phone goes off again. The teacher goes over and checks her phone, and sure enough, she has five unread messages.)

Teacher: “That’s strange; I’ve never heard it make that sound before.”

Not So Smart-Phone

Sloppy Copy

, | OH, USA | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Staff, Students, Technology

Patron: “Can I scan this?”

Me: “Do you want to scan it or photocopy?”

Patron: “Scan.”

Me: “Okay. Our scanner’s right here. Here’s the program. It’ll take a second to warm up, and then you’re good to go.”

Patron: “And once it’s scanned in, I can print it, right?”

Me: “Uh… if… if you’re just going to print it, it’s probably faster just to photocopy it.”

Patron: “Oh. Okay.”

(These are the people who are going to be running the country, folks.)

Can’t Seem To Get With The Programming

| USA | Cheaters, Popular, Students, Technology

(During my third year, some of my friends convince me to take a web programing class even though I’m not really interested. The teacher is super nice and walks everyone through the program before giving everyone a list of assignments that we are supposed to finish by the end of the term. Two weeks into the class I finish the final assignment.)

Me: *turning to my friend sitting behind me* “I’m done. So what now?”

Friend: “Done with what?”

Me: “The assignments. It was a lot easier than I thought so I just kept working on them and now I’m done. Actually, I’m a little disappointed because they were pretty fun.”

Friend: “Yeah, I probably should have told you no one actually does any of the class work until like the end of the semester.”

Me: “What? Then what have you been doing this whole time?!”

Friend: “Reading fanfiction. Hey, can I copy your assignments so I don’t have to do them?”

Me: “What? No! You’re better with computers than I am. It will probably only take you a week to finish them yourself.”

Friend: “Fine, whatever.”

(Turns out the shared folder where we were supposed to turn in our assignments was open to every computer in the class so once word got around that I had finished, everyone copied my work anyway and turned it in with their name on it. The teacher found out easily and jokingly thanked me for giving everyone an A.)

This Test Has Good Vibrations

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Exams/Tests, Popular, Rude & Risque, Students, Technology

(I was sitting in my math class taking a test. Before we have tests we always turn our phones off and put them in our backpacks. On this particular day, I placed my phone inside the desk next to mine out of convenience. I also forgot to turn it off.)

Teacher: “Are everyone’s phones off and put away?”

Me: *I nod “yes”*

Teacher: “Okay, you can start the test.”

(About halfway through the test, my phone starts to vibrate inside the desk loud enough for everyone to hear.)

Teacher: “[My Name], is that a phone?”

Me: *trying to come up with an excuse* “No… it’s my vibrator.”

Teacher: “It sounds like a cell phone vibrating on metal.”

Me: “I know… It’s a very old model… It belonged to my great-grandmother.”

Teacher: “So you inherited an antique vibrator, brought it to school, and decided to use it during your math test?”

Me: “…Yes.”

Teacher: “Can I see it?”

Me: “I’ll turn my phone off.”

(The entire class was laughing the whole time. I learned later that my teacher had told that story to all her other classes that day.)

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