Category: Technology

This Year’s Books Include ‘Great Sexpectations.’

| PA, USA | Rude & Risque, Technology

(I work at the bookstore and that means we get to handle the textbooks, and students will come in asking for their books. We need their schedule since the books are organized by course. Our university offers an app that includes an easy mobile-friendly page with their schedule on it. All the student has to do is log in. It’s great, except that means students are often times handing us their phones so we can pull the books. No big deal, except we get the occasional call from Mom. That is not what happens this time. I have the student’s phone and am pulling the books when the phone buzzes with a sexting message: a rather graphic explanation of what the student’s girlfriend would like to have happen later. I pulled the books and gave the student back his phone.)

Me: “Your girlfriend says ‘hello.'”

Student: “Oh, s***.”

(Best day at the bookstore ever.)

X-tra Stupid

| Madison, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Students, Technology

(While finishing my Master’s in 2009, I am volunteering at an academic conference. My job is to make sure organize the presenters’ files, and to run our audio recording software that syncs with PowerPoint. It is the lunch break.)

Me: “Hello, everybody. I’m sorry but we are having a problem with our recording software. It doesn’t work with the newer PPTX format so could you please convert your slides into PPT and re-submit them? Thank you.”

(Shortly afterward, another student comes up to me.)

Student: “I was trying to convert my PowerPoint into PPT like you said, so I deleted the X at the end of the filename, but now it won’t open at all.”

An Undocumented Case Of Stupidity

| USA | Ignoring/Inattentive, Students, Technology

(I work the front desk at my university’s library. I often help students print from our large touch screen printer.)

Student: “Excuse me, can you help me print?”

Me: “Sure! Which computer are you printing from?”

Student: “One.”

(I walk him over to the printer and show him how to access the printing queue from computer one. There are roughly fifteen documents that pop up.)

Me: “Okay, which documents are yours?”

Student: “All of them!”

Me: “Okay.”

(I’ve never had a student print so many documents at once, but I figure it’s an end of semester project or something. I put in his print card, select all of the documents, and hit print.)

Student: *grabbing the pages being printed* “These aren’t mine!”

Me: “…”

That Depends On What They’re Looking At On Their Laptops

| MO, USA | Rude & Risque, Teachers, Technology

(We’re in class and my teacher is arguing with the class on why we can’t have the lights off while we take notes on our laptops.)

Student: “Well, why can’t we have the lights off? Our laptops give off enough light”

Teacher: “Because you guys might touch yourself!”

(After a millisecond of realization of what she had said she quickly but with failure corrected herself.)

Teacher: “I mean touch others! Please don’t put this on the Internet!”

Something About The Situation Is Off

| USA | Extra Stupid, Teachers, Technology

(I am fixing a computer a teacher is having problems with and because of this she cannot pull up a slideshow for her class.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, what seems to be the problem?”

Teacher: “This computer won’t work, and I need it to teach!”

Me: “I’ll see what I can do.”

Teacher: “Good luck. No one else can fix it. I think it has something to do with the Internet.”

(I look at the computer and the monitor is off. After I turn it on and the screen is still black, the Teacher has a smug look on her face.)

Teacher: “See? I told you!”

Me: “Let me look at the actual computer.”

(I look at the tower, and surprise surprise, it is off. I turn it on, and the computer successfully starts up and connects to the internet.)

Teacher: “Oh. I could have done that.”

Me: “I’m sure you could have.”

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