Category: Teachers

Passed The Class On A Wing And A Sphere

| WI, USA | Art/Design, Teachers

(For our painting class, we’ve been tasked with choosing a historical piece of art and a thematic word from which to draw inspiration for our final project. I chose ‘The Lament For Icarus’ by Herbert Draper and the word ‘instability.’ My proposal included a winged person, because I wanted to draw from the story of Icarus and the massive scale of the wings in relation to people in ‘The Lament For Icarus.’ The day we give proposals, he happens to have his ten-year-old niece visiting the studio for the day.)

Professor: *disapprovingly, looking at the sketch I did for my proposal* “This, this is very… fantasy-novel cliché. You know what I mean? It looks like the cover of a fantasy novel.”

Me: “Um… okay. You mean, like, the composition or colors?”

Professor: “No, no. The winged person. That’s cliché.”

Me: “Well, I wanted to evoke a similar feel as The Lament For Icarus, and wanted to use the physical wings to express the mental state of the subject.” *all of which I had explained in the written portion of the proposal*

Professor: “The wings are fine. It’s the person that’s cliché. You could get rid of the person and replace it with… a black sphere.”

Me: “O… kay.”

(The next two proposals? Two boys who both independently decided that for the theme ‘nostalgia,’ they wanted to paint baseballs. Neither of them had an artistic reference/inspiration, sketch, a written portion, or a composition. The professor thought their proposals were great. The next day, he tells me:)

Professor: “My niece really loved your proposal. She wouldn’t stop talking about it. She thought the winged person was really cool.”

(He still made me replace the person with a black sphere. He absolutely loved the final project and went on and on about how symbolic and deep the sphere was. He still gave me an A-. I would’ve rather impressed the niece.)

The Best Pizza The Lesson

| Centennial, CO, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, Teachers

(We’re all giving presentations. Suddenly, in the middle of a classmate’s presentation, a loud banging on the door interrupts her. Another student immediately walks to the door and opens it; to our surprise, it’s a pizza guy. Note that we are on the second floor, so he must’ve had directions.)

Boy: *who answered door* “Hey, man, thanks.”

Pizza Guy: “Yeah. bro. [Price].”

Boy: “Here, man.” *hands him money*

Teacher: “Hey! What was that?”

Boy: “Well, I ordered pizza.”

Teacher: “No duh. Gimme!”

(We resumed the presentation after a brief pizza party!)

Ultimate Knowledge Of Ultimate Frisbee

| Buckinghamshire, England, UK | Popular, Sports, Students, Teachers

(In the UK, Ultimate Frisbee is not popular at school, but our all-girls school has produced teams who have played at nationals and four girls who played for Great Britain in the three years I was playing, but only one of the PE teachers cares about the sport and the team. We are currently being taught Ultimate Frisbee by two teachers from outside the school but I am the only team member in this class.)

Teacher #1: “It’s okay, if the Frisbee hits the floor, your team still can pick it up.”

Me: “Wait, that’s not right. The other team gets it.”

Teacher #1: “Oh, really? I didn’t know that.”

Teacher #2: *rudely* “How do you know?”

Me: “I play Frisbee with the school; I’ve played at a national tournament.”

(The game carries on but the other team is clearly cheating, which I keep on pointing out and the teachers clearly do not know the rules.)

Teacher #1: “We’re the teachers here!”

Me: “Yeah, but you don’t seem to know how to play! Plus, where did you get these Frisbees from? They’re way too light and definitely not regulation. They’re kids’ Frisbees!”

Teacher #1: *smugly* “Oh, so do you have regulation Frisbees?”

(I went to the sports cupboard in the gym and dragged out a huge sack of regulation GB team Frisbees gifted to us from the GB team. The teachers were stunned and I had to teach the rest of the lesson. They complained to one of the regular PE teachers but luckily it was the teacher who cared about the team so they stood up for me!)

I Say Potato You Say Potatograph

| Thornhill, ON, Canada | Language & Words, Teachers

Teacher: “Now let’s take a look at this phatogragraph.” *points at a photograph*

Whole Class: “Don’t you mean photograph?”

Teacher: *looking puzzled* “Are you sure that’s right?”

(The class laughs and looks it up in the dictionary and shows her.)

Teacher: “Hmm, odd; let’s continue.”

What A Total B

| UK | Bad Behavior, Math & Science, Teachers

(At school I am lucky enough to be put into the high-flyer set in math which means we take our GCSE a year early. I struggle in class and the teacher often just places me with a text book whilst she teaches the rest of the class. Despite this I still get a B in my test. Later…)

Teacher: “Ah, [My Name], I see you’re still with us. Are you sure you’re comfortable?  We’ll be doing A level Math from now on.”

Me: “Um, I should be okay. I mean a B is a good pass, right?”

Teacher: “I still believe you could have a chance to get an even better grade. Would you perhaps talk to one of the other teacher about possibly moving down a set?”

(My friends were all in this class so I didn’t like the idea of moving down. Still, I agreed to talk about it.)

Me: “Okay, should I take my stuff?”

Teacher: “I think it’s best.”

(She walks me into the first set classroom and announces to the teacher I am her new student before hurrying out the door.)

New Teacher: “Oh, I hadn’t heard about getting a new student in class. Have you been moved up?”

Me: “Um, no. I thought I was coming here to talk but I think she’s left me here now.”

New Teacher: “That’s not fair! Would you prefer to go back, or you’re more than welcome here.”

Me: “Might be best to stay where I’m wanted.”

(Most annoying part: still got a B. What a waste of a year.)

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