Category: Teachers

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Giving Up On This Student

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Teachers

(This takes place in kindergarten in a Catholic school. Our teacher is going around the room, asking what we’re going to give up for Lent. Most of us give the usual answers: cookies, candy, etc. Then she comes to one student who obviously hasn’t thought of something.)

Teacher: “And what are you going to give up?”

Student: “Uh… my refrigerator!”

Teacher: “How can you give up your refrigerator?”

Student: *tries to think of another answer* “Uh… my house?”

Teacher: “I don’t think you understand what ‘giving something up’ means.”

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Making An Astronomical Amount Of Noise

| Allentown, PA, USA | Awesome, Teachers

(We show up to our astronomy class to find that the teacher has things such as dry ice and ammonia lying about on his desk and a huge grin on his face.)

Teacher: “Today, class, we are going to make a comet!”

(A few minutes after class starts, he gives us a demonstration on dry ice and shows us how to make our very own comet from household ingredients, which involves crushing dry ice by putting it in a bag on the floor and pounding it for a few minutes with a claw hammer. The phone starts to ring, which we’re all fairly certain we know the reason why.)

Teacher: *to me, as I’m the closest* “Could you answer that please?”

Me: *picking up phone* “Hello? [Room Number] speaking. How can I help you?”

(I can barely hear what they’re saying as the teacher continues to smash dry ice like a barbarian a couple of feet behind me.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll tell him. [Teacher], it’s the room below us. I think they want us to please stop pounding on the floor.”

(He ignores me for about twenty more seconds.)

Teacher: “Done! Let’s make a comet!”

(The comet itself was fairly impressive and one of the students somehow managed to convince the teacher to let him make a mild dry ice bomb in the sink all the way in the back of the room with a water bottle, a few small pieces of dry ice, and water, under the pretense of teaching us something or other. I think that was my favorite lesson from my favorite class ever, though I’m sure the teacher below us disagreed.)

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All The Other Classes Are History

| Singapore | Bizarre/Silly, Popular, Teachers

(I’m a new first year student in junior college, which would be the equivalent of being a junior in high school. During the first few days of our orientation, we were told to attend Exposed Lectures, where teachers would share with us about the material and teaching system of certain classes/subjects. I’m sitting in a lecture hall, waiting for the history lecture to begin. The senior students are running around setting up the room, and one of them grabs the microphone at the back.)

Senior: “Year Ones, please be seated. The history lecture is about to begin. But first, please rise to greet our Supreme Leader, [Teacher]!”

(All of us are looking around confused. All of a sudden, the Soviet Union National Anthem starts blaring from the speakers. The front door bursts open, and the history teacher marches in, wearing a red t-shirt with the hammer and sickle on it, and a ushanka on his head. At this point, some of us, including myself, burst out in laughter.)

Senior: “RISE!”

(All the seniors in the hall promptly rise and salute the history teacher. Deciding to join the fun, I too rise and salute. The National Anthem then stops playing.)

History Teacher: “PLEASE BE SEATED!”

(We all sit down, and he grabs the microphone at the front stage.)

History Teacher: “Greetings, comrades! I am your Supreme Leader, [Teacher], and I will be telling you about the wonders of history! What do you learn in this class? We learn about how screwed up– I mean, how beautiful and wonderful this world is.”

(Everyone laughs again, and the teacher reverts to his normal, non-shouty voice.)

History Teacher: “By the way…” *he takes off his ushanka* “…a senior donated this to me, in case you were wondering.”

(He tosses the ushanka into a box behind him that’s full of similar other props. Needless to say, I’m going to take history as a major class for the next two years.)

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