Category: Staff


Waiver Goodbye To The Fee

| CT, USA | Money, Staff

(I have been unemployed for a year and have just started working again and want to go back to school. As a veteran, I have access to the G.I. Bill so I know I would have tuition assistance, but don’t have any disposable income yet. The university has a $50 application fee and I don’t have that available so I call the school about a waiver.)

Me: “Hi, I was wondering who I need to ask about the application fee waiver.”

Secretary: “The fee is only $50.”

Me: “I know, but I can’t afford that. Who should I talk to?”

Secretary: “Just pay it. It’s not that much.”

(I am starting to get angry and frustrated at her rudeness, but figure she is just tired or busy.)

Me: “I don’t have the money. Can you just tell me who I need to talk to?”

Secretary: “Well, if you can’t afford to pay for the application fee how do you expect to pay the tuition?”

(I am so shocked at this that I can’t even tell her how terrible that is to say.)

Me: “I’m a veteran, and I have financial aid, but that doesn’t cover the application fee.”

Secretary: “Fine. I’ll transfer you.”

(I couldn’t believe that an employee of a state university would say that! The whole reason I was going to college was to better my position so I could afford these things! And yes, I got the waiver and was accepted to the school.)


A Note-Worthy Incident

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Staff

Substitute Teacher: “Good morning, class! I’m Miss [Substitute Teacher], and this is my first day teaching a class!”

(Cue seven-year-old kids acting up for a couple hours. My friend finds a washer under his desk and puts it on his finger, and finds that he can’t take it off. He approaches the teacher, who also can’t take it off.)

Substitute Teacher: “You’ll need to go to the school nurse. Here’s a note.”

Note: “[Friend]’s finger needs to be amputated.”

(My friend reads the note. He doesn’t know what “amputated” means, but knows it can’t be good. He goes to the school nurse.)

Nurse: *reads note* “Oh, boy! We’re going to have to cut your finger off! First we’ll have to break it one way, then the other…”

(While my friend is practically fainting at the thought of going home missing a finger, the nurse has already soaped the washer off.)

Nurse: “Okay, who wrote this stupid note?”

Friend: “Miss [Substitute Teacher].”

Nurse: “That new lady that came in today? Go to the cafeteria and bring back a packet of taco sauce.”

(My friend does so. The nurse tapes his finger down, puts some gauze and taco sauce on the end, and sends him back to class with a note of her own:)

Note: “The deed has been done!”

(My friend goes back to class and shows the teacher the note and his hand. She turns pale, and takes off down the hall screaming.)

Friend: *chases after her, showing his (uninjured) finger* “It’s really okay, Miss [Substitute Teacher]! See?”

(The substitute kept going, and was never seen at that school again. I don’t know who took over the class for the rest of the day.)


That’s The Way The Christmas Cookie Crumbles

| Australia | Food & Drink, Holidays, Staff

(I work IT for two schools. At this one, I work out of the staffroom as the school is small and I’m only there once a week. It’s the end of year and Christmas; as such there are lots of goodies being prepared for morning tea that I can’t touch yet.)

Coworker: “Oh, this cake looks good. It must be hard not being able to eat it for an hour.”

Me: *looking up from my laptop and using my best sad voice* “I didn’t even realise that was there until now…”

Coworker: “Oh. Well, I’ll just block your view with these biscuits.”

Me: *more sadly* “I didn’t even realise THOSE were there!”


A Broken Tooth For A Broken Tooth

| NJ, USA | Health & Body, Staff

(I am about ten years old. We are learning to play basketball in gym class, which is more or less just dribbling and passing. One of the boys in class decides, for whatever reason, to deliberately chuck a basketball full-force at my face. It hits me VERY hard in the jaw, and I hear and feel a loud snap in my mouth. The boy is made to run laps for the remainder of class while I am sent to the nurse’s office. Normally our nurse is great, and she knows me well because I am sick fairly often due to a weak immune system, but unfortunately she is out that day and we have a substitute. She is not so great.)

Me: *timidly* “Excuse me.”

Sub Nurse: *rudely and without looking up from her magazine* “What?”

Me: “Um, I got hit in the mouth during gym and I think I broke a tooth.”

Sub Nurse: *still not looking up* “You’re fine. Go back to class.”

Me: “But it hit really hard and I felt something crack. I really think my tooth is broken.”

Sub Nurse: *STILL not looking up* “You’re FINE. Now, go away!”

Me: “But you didn’t even look!”

Sub Nurse: *FINALLY looking up at me, glaring* “God, I am so sick of you kids making up stupid excuses just to get out of class for a few minutes! There’s nothing wrong with you. Now get back to class and stop bothering me!”

(Being an extremely shy, mild-mannered child I didn’t know what to do so I left. Gym class was the second class of the day, meaning I spent the better part of three hours with a bruised jaw and a broken tooth. Finally it was time to go home and I told my mom what happened. She looked at my tooth, confirmed it was broken, and took me to the dentist, who easily removed the pieces of my tooth with a piece of gauze.)

Dentist: “Wow, you didn’t just break this you snapped it clean in half! What happened, hun?”

Me: “A boy in gym class hit me in the face with a basketball.”

Dentist: *sympathetically* “Yeah, boys are dumb at your age. But why didn’t you go to the school nurse?”

Me: “I did. She wasn’t in, and the sub told me I was fine and to go away and stop bothering her. She didn’t even look at my tooth.”

Dentist: *silent for a moment* “I see. What school do you go to, again?”

Me: “[Middle School].”

Dentist: “Okay. Well, here’s your tooth, [My Name]. I’m sure the Tooth Fairy will give you something a little extra, considering the circumstances.” *knowing smile at my mom, who smiles back*

(He didn’t charge us for the visit, and the next day at school the regular nurse was back and she apologized profusely for what the sub did. Apparently my dentist had called the school after Mom and I left his office and told the principal what had happened. The sub was fired, I got a bag of candy from the regular nurse, and Mom got a VERY apologetic phone call from the principal!)


Puns Reached Tea Total

| England, UK | Pranks, Staff

(I am good friends with the tech support team at the college. They know me for my array of terrible jokes or “puns.” In the last couple of weeks, the school has put up a board by the door with quotes from the staff about selected students.)

Board: “To [My Name], have a drink on us! From the Tech Support team.”

(Stapled beneath was a tea bag.)

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