Category: Staff

Wish You’d Caught This On Tape

| USA | Bizarre/Silly, Staff

(My teacher wants a couple students to hang some fliers around school, so we go to the library and ask to borrow the tape. The librarians don’t want to give us the tape in its big plastic dispenser because apparently it’s too valuable, so they attempt to take the tape out first…)

Librarians: “Almost got it!”

(We waited at the desk for ten minutes before they gave up.)

It Cures Everything

| USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Staff

(I go to the nurse’s office.)

Me: “I have a headache.”

Nurse: *gives me a band aid*

Meno-Pause Until Recess

| London, England, UK | Awesome, Food & Drink, Staff

(Around year 10/9th grade, I develop a lot of confidence quite dramatically and stop being embarrassed about a lot of things. It sometimes leads to clashes with people who think I should be more embarrassed or apologetic for things I can’t change, such as not understanding a question or, in this case, uncontrollable biological functions.)

Me: *realises during class I’ve just started my period, days early, and therefore have not taken necessary precautions* “Miss, could I go to the toilet, please?”

Teacher: “No, you can wait. There is only 20 minutes left until break.”

Me: “No, seriously, miss, I really need to go to the toilet. I’ll be less than five minutes, I promise.”

Teacher: *sighs and looks at me down her nose* “[My Name], are you a small child who can’t hold their bladder for 20 minutes?”

Me: *getting slightly desperate at this point because, hey, bleeding through your clothing is uncomfortable and kind of gross* “No, miss, I’m a 15 year old with a uterus who needs to go put a pad in because I just started my period!”

Teacher: *looks disgusted* “Go to the pastoral office, NOW!”

Me: *shrugs, goes to the bathroom then to the pastoral office*

(I explain what happened and the pastoral officer is baffled as to why I’ve been sent there. 15 minutes later my teacher arrives looking smug.)

Teacher: “I take it you’ve received your detention, then?”

Me: “No? I’m not entirely sure why I was sent here and nor is [Pastoral Officer].”

Teacher: *looks shocked and goes into the pastoral officer’s office, closing the door behind her*

(Luckily for me the office walls are made of plywood so I get a front-row seat as my teacher is torn to shreds for trying to have me punished for mentioning the word “period”, which she deemed inappropriate for a classroom. She comes out and barely looks at me as she passes.)

Pastoral Officer: *passes me a chocolate bar surreptitiously* “I know we’re supposed to support that healthy eating crap so don’t let [Head Teacher] know I gave you this. You can go to your next class now. You’ll be a few minutes late but tell your next teacher you were with me, and get a hot water bottle from the nurse if you need to, okay?”

Me: “Yes, miss!”

(In an all-girls school of over 1000 students, it baffles me as to how mentioning a period could be seen by anyone as a punishable offence. It makes me wonder what that teacher does every month, close her eyes and pretend it’s not happening?)

Waiver Goodbye To The Fee

| CT, USA | Money, Staff

(I have been unemployed for a year and have just started working again and want to go back to school. As a veteran, I have access to the G.I. Bill so I know I would have tuition assistance, but don’t have any disposable income yet. The university has a $50 application fee and I don’t have that available so I call the school about a waiver.)

Me: “Hi, I was wondering who I need to ask about the application fee waiver.”

Secretary: “The fee is only $50.”

Me: “I know, but I can’t afford that. Who should I talk to?”

Secretary: “Just pay it. It’s not that much.”

(I am starting to get angry and frustrated at her rudeness, but figure she is just tired or busy.)

Me: “I don’t have the money. Can you just tell me who I need to talk to?”

Secretary: “Well, if you can’t afford to pay for the application fee how do you expect to pay the tuition?”

(I am so shocked at this that I can’t even tell her how terrible that is to say.)

Me: “I’m a veteran, and I have financial aid, but that doesn’t cover the application fee.”

Secretary: “Fine. I’ll transfer you.”

(I couldn’t believe that an employee of a state university would say that! The whole reason I was going to college was to better my position so I could afford these things! And yes, I got the waiver and was accepted to the school.)

A Note-Worthy Incident

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Staff

Substitute Teacher: “Good morning, class! I’m Miss [Substitute Teacher], and this is my first day teaching a class!”

(Cue seven-year-old kids acting up for a couple hours. My friend finds a washer under his desk and puts it on his finger, and finds that he can’t take it off. He approaches the teacher, who also can’t take it off.)

Substitute Teacher: “You’ll need to go to the school nurse. Here’s a note.”

Note: “[Friend]’s finger needs to be amputated.”

(My friend reads the note. He doesn’t know what “amputated” means, but knows it can’t be good. He goes to the school nurse.)

Nurse: *reads note* “Oh, boy! We’re going to have to cut your finger off! First we’ll have to break it one way, then the other…”

(While my friend is practically fainting at the thought of going home missing a finger, the nurse has already soaped the washer off.)

Nurse: “Okay, who wrote this stupid note?”

Friend: “Miss [Substitute Teacher].”

Nurse: “That new lady that came in today? Go to the cafeteria and bring back a packet of taco sauce.”

(My friend does so. The nurse tapes his finger down, puts some gauze and taco sauce on the end, and sends him back to class with a note of her own:)

Note: “The deed has been done!”

(My friend goes back to class and shows the teacher the note and his hand. She turns pale, and takes off down the hall screaming.)

Friend: *chases after her, showing his (uninjured) finger* “It’s really okay, Miss [Substitute Teacher]! See?”

(The substitute kept going, and was never seen at that school again. I don’t know who took over the class for the rest of the day.)

Page 1/4012345...Last