Category: Staff


Graduated On A Knife-Edge

| VA, USA | Staff, Teachers

(I work part-time as a computer technician for my former school district while attending a local college. This job sends me to all 19 of our schools, including the schools I attended as a child, where most faculty still know me. On a Monday morning I respond to several work orders at my former high school, from where I graduated less than two years before the day in question. While working in the library workroom on student tablets, the Spanish teacher that I had as a freshman comes in to use a copier. I see her take a toner cartridge box down from the shelf.)

Me: “Is the copier out of toner?”

Teacher: “Yes, but [Librarian] has taught me how to put a new cartridge in, so I’m doing that now.”

Me: *noticing teacher having difficulty breaking the tape with her fingernails* “Here, let me help you with that.” *pulls out pocket knife and cuts the tape on the box*

Teacher: “Oh, thank you!”

Me: “You know, five years ago, you would have written me up for pulling that out here.”

Teacher: “Five years?! It’s been that long?!”

Me: “Yes, five years ago I was a freshman in your class. And now I’m allowed to carry a knife. Now you have a good day.”


Lazy With A Chance Of Meatballs

| Denmark | Lazy/Unhelpful, Popular, Staff, Teachers

(I’m studying to become a school teacher and at the time I’m in my first practical with three guys. The practical is structured so that it’s a group effort and either we all pass or all fail. The three guys are complete slackers and often won’t even show up for the few classes we have to teach and they never do any prep work. Needless to say, nearing the end of it I’m overly stressed because I have to plan for them to be there during the lessons but also assume I’m going to be alone in teaching. We have three grades we are teaching English in, 3rd, 4th, and 7th. One day, when the guys had not only ditched class, but ‘asked’ me to cover them, I was feeling really down when one of our 7th graders comes up to me.)

Student: “You okay, [My Name]?”

Me: *I force a smile because I don’t want the kids thinking that it’s their problem, especially when it isn’t* “Yeah, just a little tired. It’s been a long week, huh?”

Student: “Yeah, I know what you mean. Hey, can I tell you something?”

Me: “Sure.”

Student: “Did you know that out of the four of you guys, we like you and [One of the Guys] the best?”

(I am really wondering how they could like the guy because he was the worst out of them all at showing up on time, and always gave the students these long and confusing projects that he never explained what they were to do with. Most of the time, if they ask him to explain it, he will repeat what he said in a louder voice, word for word, where I’d have to go in and explain it in easier and simpler words with examples so that they could understand it.)

Me: “Really? Why’s that?”

Student: “Yeah. We like you because you always do your best to explain stuff so that we can understand it.”

Me: “And [Guy]?”

Student: “Because he looks like the main character from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.”

(Needless to say, this made that week a lot better.)


Having An Identity Crisis

| Boston, MA, USA | Dorms, Popular, Staff, Students

(I’m a security guard for dorm buildings at a college. No one can enter the building unless I unlock the door for them. Students swipe their ID cards to get in if they live in the building, and they can sign in guests. We’re required to check the ID picture to make sure the person swiping in is actually the person on the ID.)

Student: *comes up to my desk with a couple of suitcases and boxes* “Hi, I’m helping my friend move in. Can I go up?”

Me: “Okay, she needs to sign you if you don’t live here. Is she up in her room?”

Student: “No, she’s at her old dorm getting the rest of her stuff, but she gave me her ID so I can go in.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you in with her ID. I need her to be here to sign you in.”

Student: “But it’ll take her forever to get here! She wanted me to get started moving everything in!”

Me: “Just to clarify; you’re TELLING me outright that you’re not the person on that ID card, and still expecting me to let you in?”

Student: “Yes! She gave me her ID!”

(I refused to let her in. She fumed in the corner of the lobby for a few minutes, and then went out to her car and started bringing in more suitcases and boxes, piling them right in front of my desk. I finally had to tell her to move them because other students couldn’t get by. Really mature!)


Writing An Apology Is A Doodle

| Clinton, CT, USA | Art/Design, Bad Behavior, Popular, Staff

(I am in the library for reading time with my class and I am talking to a friend louder than I should be. The librarian comes up to me to tell me to be quiet and since my mind has no filter I say some rather impolite things. I am sent to the principal’s office and told to write a letter of apology. After a while, I finish and start doodling and writing random things on the paper. Finally someone gets me and we bring the letter to the librarian. After a moment of looking at the paper:)

Librarian: *laughing* “You need to get in trouble more often, [My Name]!”


Blind To Diversity

| IL, USA | Health & Body, LGBTQ, Popular, Staff

(It is 1978. I and my best friend, who is also blind, are on a college tour. My friend doesn’t like the typical canes for the blind and manages on her own in familiar environments, or by holding onto someone in an unfamiliar environment. Since this is an unfamiliar environment she spends the entire visit linking arms with me. After the tour, the guide approaches my mother.)

Guide: “You might not like this school.”

Me: *confused* “Well, why not?”

Guide: *looks at the ground* “Your kind, uh, aren’t that common here.”

Me: “My what?!”

Guide: “You, uh, lesbians. You and your girlfriend. You might not be welcome here.”

Me: *walks away laughing* “She’s blind! I’m her guide!”

(I didn’t end up attending but I love to tell this story.)

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