Category: Staff

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Having An Identity Crisis

| Boston, MA, USA | Dorms, Popular, Staff, Students

(I’m a security guard for dorm buildings at a college. No one can enter the building unless I unlock the door for them. Students swipe their ID cards to get in if they live in the building, and they can sign in guests. We’re required to check the ID picture to make sure the person swiping in is actually the person on the ID.)

Student: *comes up to my desk with a couple of suitcases and boxes* “Hi, I’m helping my friend move in. Can I go up?”

Me: “Okay, she needs to sign you if you don’t live here. Is she up in her room?”

Student: “No, she’s at her old dorm getting the rest of her stuff, but she gave me her ID so I can go in.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you in with her ID. I need her to be here to sign you in.”

Student: “But it’ll take her forever to get here! She wanted me to get started moving everything in!”

Me: “Just to clarify; you’re TELLING me outright that you’re not the person on that ID card, and still expecting me to let you in?”

Student: “Yes! She gave me her ID!”

(I refused to let her in. She fumed in the corner of the lobby for a few minutes, and then went out to her car and started bringing in more suitcases and boxes, piling them right in front of my desk. I finally had to tell her to move them because other students couldn’t get by. Really mature!)

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Writing An Apology Is A Doodle

| Clinton, CT, USA | Art/Design, Bad Behavior, Popular, Staff

(I am in the library for reading time with my class and I am talking to a friend louder than I should be. The librarian comes up to me to tell me to be quiet and since my mind has no filter I say some rather impolite things. I am sent to the principal’s office and told to write a letter of apology. After a while, I finish and start doodling and writing random things on the paper. Finally someone gets me and we bring the letter to the librarian. After a moment of looking at the paper:)

Librarian: *laughing* “You need to get in trouble more often, [My Name]!”

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Blind To Diversity

| IL, USA | Health & Body, LGBTQ, Popular, Staff

(It is 1978. I and my best friend, who is also blind, are on a college tour. My friend doesn’t like the typical canes for the blind and manages on her own in familiar environments, or by holding onto someone in an unfamiliar environment. Since this is an unfamiliar environment she spends the entire visit linking arms with me. After the tour, the guide approaches my mother.)

Guide: “You might not like this school.”

Me: *confused* “Well, why not?”

Guide: *looks at the ground* “Your kind, uh, aren’t that common here.”

Me: “My what?!”

Guide: “You, uh, lesbians. You and your girlfriend. You might not be welcome here.”

Me: *walks away laughing* “She’s blind! I’m her guide!”

(I didn’t end up attending but I love to tell this story.)

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