Category: Staff

Causing Disorder With No Special Order

| DE, USA | Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Staff
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(It’s the first day of middle school and I’m in the lunch line behind two girls who seem to be best friends. We were having some kind of pasta with cheese and tomato sauce that day.)

Girl #1: “Could you please not put cheese on mine?”

Girl #2: “Yeah, and I don’t want sauce on mine either.”

Lunch Lady: “I don’t do special orders.”

Girl #2: “But can’t you make an exception for us? We’re—”

Lunch Lady: “I don’t do special orders!”

Girl #1: “But I’m—”

Lunch Lady: “I don’t do special orders!”

(They both look downtrodden as she puts cheese and sauce on both, shoves the trays into their hands, and moves on to serving the rest of the line. They both pay for their food, remove the banana and chocolate milk from their trays, and promptly dump the rest in the garbage before sitting next to me to eat their meager meals, which catches the attention of a nearby teacher.)

Teacher: “Why are you girls wasting food?”

Girl #2: “Because she asked the lunch lady not to put cheese on her food and I asked her not to put sauce on mine, but she did anyway and insisted she doesn’t do special orders.”

Teacher: “So you decided to waste food because of that?”

Girl #1: “Well, I’m lactose intolerant and she’s allergic to tomatoes, so we couldn’t actually eat any of it.”

(The teacher ended up taking them back through the second line. The lunch lady serving that line was a lot friendlier and more than happy to do special orders for them. As for the other one, she became notorious throughout the school for being needlessly surly to everyone. By the time my classmates and I graduated and left for high school, the entire school was calling her Ms. Crankypants behind her back.)

A Perfect Photo Finish

| Boca Raton, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular, Staff
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(My class goes on a field trip to clean the Everglades, and a photographer comes with us to take pictures.)

Me: “Uh oh, looks like rain.”

Photographer: “Huh, I think you’re right.”

(A few minutes later it begins pouring rain.)

Me: *looking around* “Where is the photographer?”

Student: “I can’t see him either.”

Other Student: “I think he left.”

Student: “He wouldn’t do that.”

(We spent 20 minutes looking for him in the pouring rain, but he did, in fact, leave without telling us. A week later he came to our class again to take pictures, because he didn’t the last week. Our professor told him to come back in 20 minutes, waited 10, then dismissed the entire class.)

Sloppy Copy

, | OH, USA | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Staff, Students, Technology
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Patron: “Can I scan this?”

Me: “Do you want to scan it or photocopy?”

Patron: “Scan.”

Me: “Okay. Our scanner’s right here. Here’s the program. It’ll take a second to warm up, and then you’re good to go.”

Patron: “And once it’s scanned in, I can print it, right?”

Me: “Uh… if… if you’re just going to print it, it’s probably faster just to photocopy it.”

Patron: “Oh. Okay.”

(These are the people who are going to be running the country, folks.)

Loaning And Moaning

| AB, Canada | Money, Popular, Staff

(I just got all my student loan information, and I’m ready to pay my tuition. Rather than a cheque, the government has sent me a special form. I give that to my college, and then my student loan cash goes straight from the government to my college. The instructions that came with the form said I have to give it to the Office of Business Affairs. Every time I walk by, the office is closed. The expiry date on the form is fast approaching and I’m getting desperate. One day, at 12:50, the sign on the door says they’ll be back from lunch at 1 pm, so I just camp out outside the door until they open. The office opens at 1, and I sprint inside.)

Me: “Thank goodness I finally got you guys when you’re open! I need to get my student loan processed.”

Clerk: “You don’t do that here.”

Me: “What?”

Clerk: “You do that upstairs at the Financial Aid Office.”

Me: “So I’ve been trying desperately to get in here for nothing?”

Clerk: “You’re like the seventh one this week who tried to bring their student loans to us. Who keeps telling you to come here?”

Me: *showing her the instruction letter* “The government.”

(Next time I walked by the Office of Business Affairs, there was a note on the door saying that the government was wrong, and students loans were processed at Financial Aid.)

Won’t Hear A Squeak Out Of Me

| Oxford, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Popular, Staff

(I’m in the flat on my own when I hear the bell ring. I answer it and find a girl I don’t know there.)

Girl: “Who’s got the squeaky door?”

Me: “What?

Girl: “I live in the flat below. One of your doors squeaks really loudly. It’s very distracting.”

Me: “Well I’ve never noticed anything like that.”

Girl: “Could you put a maintenance report in?”

Me: “Not if it’s not my room. I’ll ask around, see if the others can do anything.”

(She scowls and leaves. I make a note on the whiteboard in the kitchen and think nothing of it. A few days later, I answer the door again.)

Warden: “I got a maintenance report of a squeaky door. They put a flat number but not a room. Do you know who it is?”

Me: “No, sorry.”

Warden: “Has anyone mentioned anything?”

Me: “Well, the girl downstairs did come complaining…”

Warden: *rolls eyes* “Oh, her!”

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