Category: Rude & Risque


Disney’s Red Light District

| USA | Rude & Risque

(Before class starts, a group of my friends and I are exchanging lewd jokes. I am the only female, while the rest are male.)

Friend #1: *to me* “I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my dickle.”

Friend #2: “I’ll give you a dime if you give me a good time.”

Me: *I smirk, and say to [Friend #1]* “I’ll give you a dollar if you can make me holler.”

Friend #1: *with a twinkle in his eye* “All right, first I’ll take you to Valleyfair, then Disneyland…”

(We all laughed.)


No Protection From Detention

| KS, USA | Rude & Risque, Students

(In my English class one of the students is dating the teacher’s daughter. This has lead to many jokes about this student being the teacher’s son-in-law, and funnily enough, the teachers daughter is a peer tutor in that class.)

Different Student: *to Teacher* “Didn’t you say that you wanted children?”

Teacher: “From my son who is married.”

Different Student: *to ‘son-in-law’* “So, do you use protection?”

(The entire class erupted into laughter as the teacher started yelling at the student. That was his third time that day crossing the line.)


Always The Potential For Immature Energy

| Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque

(We’re in physics class, and our teacher is explaining gravitational potential energy.)

Teacher: “If I walk with the cannonball at shoulder height, then It’ll always have the same amount of potential energy, relative to the floor. If I put it over the table, then I cut my balls—”

(Entire class laughs, including teacher.)

Teacher: “I think we’re done for today.”


You Have A Special Relationship With This Class

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre/Silly, Rude & Risque

(My ninth-grade literature class is about to start studying Hamlet, and the teacher has us start off with a few class discussion questions. Note that I am one of the quietest students in class.)

Teacher: *reading question* “You are in love with your brother’s wife, and you are pretty sure she loves you back. You know your brother will never agree to a divorce. What do you do?”

Me: *immediately and rather loudly* “Threesome!”

(Cue an extremely weirded-out class.)


No Purple Nurples!

| Field Trip, Rude & Risque

(The camp I attend runs as a week-long sleepover camp. One year, there is a sign in “my” cabin, explaining the rules on proper conduct between male and female campers.)

Sign: “Pink is pink. Blue is blue. NO MAKING PURPLE!”

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