Category: Rude & Risque

Massaging The Truth

| USA | Rude & Risque

(We are in the palpation lab of our anatomy class. We are currently learning the different muscles and their tendons in the forearm, wrist, and hand. One of our female classmates is a trained massage therapist, and has a couple of over-developed muscles in her wrists, because of how strong her forearms are for massage. This is a conversation initiated by a girl that isn’t in our lab section, but is sitting in on our section today.)

Classmate #1: “Wow, [Massage Therapist], what is that? Those muscles are weird looking!”

Instructor: “I wouldn’t call them weird; they are extraordinary!”

Massage Therapist: *laughs*

Classmate #1: “Why do they look like that?”

Me: “Because she touches naked people…”

Massage Therapist: “…for money.”

(Cue everyone laughing, except Classmate #1, who looked at us like we were completely nuts.)

That Friendship Has Extra Magic

| PA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Rude & Risque

(Everyone in the room is done with their assignments and relaxing. Student #1 has his phone out when he starts making moans that sound really Freudian in nature such as “Oh, yeah,” “Ahh…” and then this happens:)

Student #2: *gets up and walks behind him…* “[Student #1]… is that My Little Pony?”

A Sudden Surge In Students Taking Politics

| CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(We are discussing the political propositions in the state of California. One of the propositions involves the “adult film” industry — in other words, porn.)

Teacher: “How many of you are doing porn?”

(Pause.)

Teacher: “No, that’s not right.”

Entire Class: *bursts out laughing*

The Teachers Are More “Chill” Than You Are

| GA, USA | Rude & Risque, Teachers

(Our school is going to have one of the biggest football games in history and we’ve been asking everyone, including our teachers, if they’re going to the game.)

Student #1: “Hey, [Teacher], are you going to the game tonight?”

Teacher: “No, I think I’m just going to stay home and Netflix and chill with my husband.”

Student #2: “[Teacher], you do know what that implies right?”

Teacher: “Of course I know what it implies.”

Entire Class: *dies on the inside*

You Complete Mutha-Russia

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(I have a student in my class who is a recent immigrant from Ukraine. He’s fluent in both Ukrainian and Russian.)

Student: *curses in Russian*

Me: “[Student], that no cursing rule applies to Russian, too.”

Student: *stares at me, mouth agape* “How did you know?”

Me: “I had an exchange sister from Kiev when I was in high school.”

Student: “Kiev! She’s Ukrainian, too. What did she teach you?”

Me: “We were in high school. The only Russian or Ukrainian words I know are yes, no, and all of your curse words…”

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