Category: Rude & Risque

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Surely, They Were Being Serious

| OR, USA | Movies & TV, Popular, Rude & Risque

(As a reward for good behavior, my seventh grade English teacher has agreed to bring in a movie near the end of the year. He surprises us with a well know parody movie that takes place on an airplane. There is a scene in which they hit turbulence and they show a topless woman dart across the screen for a moment. Just after that clip…)

Male Classmate: “Uh, Mr. [Teacher], I think we missed an important plot point!”

Teacher: *leans to look at the screen, shakes his head* “No, [Classmate], I am not rewinding so you can see breasts again.”

(He then went back to grading papers like it was nothing.)

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Four Score And Seven Beers Ago

| Allentown, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, History, Rude & Risque, Students

(At the end of every year in high school, we are expected to write a factual report and then present it to the class. One of my classmates is reading his, otherwise mostly accurate, account of Abraham Lincoln, when he gets to this little tidbit.)

Classmate: “There was a brief scandal when Honest Abe was discovered shortly after being elected to the presidency to have another, less flattering nickname that hearkened to his college days. After a truly insane party that few remember due to the sheer intensity of the collective hangovers, his classmates had dubbed him ‘Abraham Drinkin,’ a name that continued to haunt him up until his graduation.”

(The rest of the report continued as normal, not that anyone could hear the rest of it over the cacophonous laughter and the sound of the teacher sighing. I think he got a B- on that report and a phone call to his parents, who were no doubt laughing throughout the call.)

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Sacrilegious Sexylicious

| England, UK | Bad Behavior, Popular, Religion, Rude & Risque, Students

(I’m in a year-11 religious studies class and we have just moved on to the issue of abortion. My teacher, brilliant as she is, tends to have conversations with our class that soon veer off topic and become very strange.)

Teacher: *after explaining something to a student* “So, if you are made in the image of God, that’s why you should treat your body with respect –because God is in it. That means that anything you do to your body, you do to God.”

Student #1: “So, if you have sex with someone… does that mean you have sex with God?”

Class: *all laugh at [Student #1]*

Me: *to [Student #2]* “Technically, wouldn’t it be a threesome?”

Student #2: *to me* “Or a foursome, because God is in both of you!”

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