Category: Religion

A Devil-Maya-Care Attitude

| Florida, USA | Parents, Religion, Spouses & Partners, Students, Teachers

(I am a school librarian and I take some students aside for reading practice in the afternoon. We are reading about airplanes.)

Fifth Grader: “Ms. [my name], have you ever flown in a plane?”

Me: “Yes, I have. In fact, my boyfriend owns a small plane that looks a lot like the one on this page.” *points at a page in book*

Fifth Grader: “You’re not married?”

Me: “No. Let’s go on to the next page…”

Fifth Grader: “And you’re not engaged?”

Me: “No, not yet. Let’s go on with the book…”

Fifth Grader: “That’s so sad! I feel so bad for you!”

Me: “There’s no need to feel bad.”

Fifth Grader: “But the world is going to end in two weeks, and you won’t be married! And if you’re in the same bed when it happens, you’ll go to h***!”

(I talked to the student’s teacher, and she told me that a few students in her class had been informed by their parents that the world is ending this month. One student in her class has stopped doing school work entirely!)

Like Tolkien To A Brick Deeping Wall

| UK | Parents, Religion, Staff

(I am at an open day at school for my young son. It isn’t a faith-based school, so there are no requirements to be a particular religion. I am currently talking to the headmaster who has only been there three months.)

Headmaster: *notices my wedding ring* “What on Earth is that?”

(My wedding ring is a replica of the one ring from Lord of the Rings.)

Me: “Oh, it’s my wedding ring. My husband and I are huge Lord of the Rings fans.”

Headmaster: “What are all these demonic symbols on it?”

Me: “Oh, it’s Elvish writing, a language that J.R.R Tolkien made up.”

Headmaster: “A good Christian should never wear demonic symbols on their person!”

Me: “Oh no, me and my husband are atheists, but we want [son] to learn about different religions and decide for himself what he wants to believe.”

(The head looks taken aback by my son’s name, which is Japanese even though both my husband and I are British.)

Headmaster: “What sort of a h***ish name is [son’s name]?!”

(I am starting to get slightly annoyed now, but still persevere as it is a good school.)

Me: “We both have very common names, and wanted to name our children something that meant a lot to us, even if it wasn’t necessarily in common usage.”

Headmaster: “Well I don’t want any of your kind coming to my school and corrupting the other children, and I will send messages to the other schools in the county warning them of you! You should be ashamed of yourselves!”

(She proceeded to write “Do not accept anyone called [son’s name]” on her notepad and shooed me away. I later learnt she had been fired for turning away three Muslim families, but I still didn’t send my son to that school!)

Freedom Of Screech

| North Carolina, USA | Religion, Top

(I’m an Admissions Officer and am working at a college fair. We are not religiously affiliated. I run into an alum.)

Me: “Hi, is your daughter interested in [college]?”

Alum: “I’m an alum. Class of ’83.”

Me: “Fantastic!  I’m Class of ’04. Can I answer any questions for you?”

Alum: “I won’t be letting my daughter look here. I have some issues with how [college] is being run. God is not happy with you, and neither am I.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. If you’d like, I’d be happy to take your comment back to the Vice President of-”

Alum: “Are you aware that you let in students with liberal views and speakers with socialist leanings?”

Me: “Ma’am, we have a great deal of speakers on campus with a variety of view points.”

Alum: “The school has gone downhill since we let in those people! So I’ve stopped giving money. You can take that back to them. You’ll no longer see my $25 a year.”

Me: “Ma’am, as an alum myself, I’m proud to have graduated from a school that encourages both freedom of thought and speech in our students and speakers.”

Alum: “You don’t need freedom of speech if you let Jesus think for you.”

Taking The Big Out Of Bigotry

| Orange, NJ, USA | Bigotry, Religion, Top

(I am female. My girlfriend picks up my teen niece from school and they meet me at my job everyday. On this day, my niece’s school has a “Pride Day”, so my niece is dressed in purple and has a rainbow-colored band around her upper arm. A customer has noticed.)

Customer: “Excuse me, young lady. Are you gay?”

My Niece: “No, ma’am. Why do you ask?”

Customer: “Because your band says ‘gay’ on it.”

My Niece: “Oh! It actually says ‘I support gays’. Today was Pride Day at my school. That’s also why my band is rainbow and I’m wearing so much purple.”

Customer: *very loudly* “You will go to Hell for telling people to sin! You are encouraging people to disobey God!”

My Niece: “To be honest, ma’am, I am an atheist. But my school’s principal is Christian and he announced the Pride Day.”

Customer: “You will burn in Hell! How does your family feel about you disobeying God’s word?”

My Niece: “Actually, my parents are okay with me being an atheist. Also, you see that lady over there who helped you?” *points to me* “She’s my aunt, and that woman there—” *points to my girlfriend* “—is her girlfriend, and they’ve been together for 14 years. They’re also Christians.”

Customer: “Heathens! Filthy, devil-worshipping heathens is what you all are! You will have to face God one day!”

(My niece has been smiling throughout this whole exchange, as if she’s completely unbothered by the customer’s comments.)

My Niece: “Ma’am, correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t Christians believe that God loves all His children? And isn’t Christianity about ‘loving thy neighbor’? If that’s true, why are you such a closed-minded, air-headed bigot who tries to use religion as a weapon? I think you are just using being Christian as a mask for your hatred. Unless what I’ve just said is false, I don’t think you know what it means to be Christian.”

(The customer was rendered speechless and stormed out the door, almost leaving her bags behind until my niece kindly reminded her.)