Category: Religion

It Had To Be Asked:

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Religion, Students

(In history class, we’re learning about the Quakers. One student decides to ask this very important question.)

Student: “Did they, like, invent oatmeal?”

Losing Their Religion

| Bavaria, Germany | Exams/Tests, Religion

(In this part of Germany it’s mandatory for students to attend either religion or ethics classes as long as they are in school. However, as the trade school for this specific profession is very small it does not offer ethics classes. As this is the case I — alongside with three other students unaffiliated with any religion, a Muslim and a Greek-orthodox student — am assigned to attend Lutheran religion classes as the syllabus focuses mostly on ethics. Nevertheless, in our first lesson we decide to make the teacher aware that six of the 18 students are not, in fact, Lutheran. He assures us that this won’t be a problem; he’s sympathetic to our situation and no knowledge of Lutheran or Christian religion will be necessary for this class. Skip forward a few weeks to our first test and are taken aback:)

Question #1: “Explain the Paschal Triduum!”

Question #2: “What’s the function of the German Evangelical Church Assembly?”

Question #3: “Name the angels of the first sphere in Christian theology!”

(Needless to say, we went to the principal and, however they managed to do it, religion class was no longer mandatory for us six students.)

There’s Always Someone In The Family You Don’t Talk About

| Halifax, NS, Canada | Religion, Students

(I teach Sunday school for ages 3-5 at a local church. I have just taught my class about the sign of the cross.)

Me: “…so the father is God and the son is Jesus.”

Student: “Who is the man?”

Me: “What man?”

Student: “You said it was the father, the son, the holy spirit, and a man.”

Me: *trying to hold in my laughter* “It’s Amen.”

Student: “Oh, okay… So who is it?”

Sacrificing That One-Liner

| Miami, FL, USA | History, Religion

(I am in my grade nine honors world history class.)

Teacher: *frustrated at two students, one of them my friend* “Now I wish I could sacrifice you to the Aztec gods.”

Me: “I think the gods have standards.”

A Superior A**-Hole

, | Noblesville, IN, USA | Pets & Animals, Religion

Theology Teacher: “Okay! So we’ve established that humans have superior intellects and free will. The real question now is, what do we do with it? Any ideas, [Student]?”

Student: *clearly very lost* “Um, rub it in the other animals’ faces?”

Theology Teacher: “Well, it’s not suggested, but I suppose you could. ‘Ha Ha, I was made in the image and likeness of God and you weren’t! TAKE THAT, FIDO!’”

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