Category: Religion

This Administration Doesn’t Quite Add Up

, , | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Politics, Religion, Tutors

(The office I work in accepts calls from out of state students in order to help them with their school work. Between scheduled appointments, I am doing some filing at my desk, when my coworker’s conversation with his student catches my attention. We work in the math, business, and statistics department.)

Coworker #1: *into his headset* “I… well, maybe our new president will do something for this country, ma’am. Yes. Perhaps. No, I don’t think the Bible means you have to love tyrants; I think it probably just means you should respect authority. Well, yes, it is true that the revolution had plenty of Christians in it, ma’am. That was a common religion then. Right. Um… no, I don’t think a revolt should be lead against the government. No, ma’am, I’m not at liberty to say which political party I belong to. No, thank you… Right. Now, did you have any other questions about your math homework? Okay. Right.”

Coworker #2: *nudges him* “[Coworker #1], it doesn’t seem like much math is going on; having fun?”

(Coworker #1 makes a face like he wants to die, and finishes his appointment.)

Coworker #1: “Next time the caller tries to start a political debate, can I transfer them to someone who specializes in poli-sci?”

Commanded To Read The Constitution

| USA | History, Religion

(I am in eighth grade at the time, and we have started discussing the U.S. Constitution and The Bill of Rights. Student #2 is kind of an airhead.)

Teacher: “Can anybody tell me what the Bill of Rights is?”

Student #1: “The first ten amendments to the Constitution?”

Teacher: “Right! Can anybody name one of the amendments?”

Student #2: “Oh! ‘Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife’!”

It Had To Be Asked:

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Religion, Students

(In history class, we’re learning about the Quakers. One student decides to ask this very important question.)

Student: “Did they, like, invent oatmeal?”

Losing Their Religion

| Bavaria, Germany | Exams/Tests, Religion

(In this part of Germany it’s mandatory for students to attend either religion or ethics classes as long as they are in school. However, as the trade school for this specific profession is very small it does not offer ethics classes. As this is the case I — alongside with three other students unaffiliated with any religion, a Muslim and a Greek-orthodox student — am assigned to attend Lutheran religion classes as the syllabus focuses mostly on ethics. Nevertheless, in our first lesson we decide to make the teacher aware that six of the 18 students are not, in fact, Lutheran. He assures us that this won’t be a problem; he’s sympathetic to our situation and no knowledge of Lutheran or Christian religion will be necessary for this class. Skip forward a few weeks to our first test and are taken aback:)

Question #1: “Explain the Paschal Triduum!”

Question #2: “What’s the function of the German Evangelical Church Assembly?”

Question #3: “Name the angels of the first sphere in Christian theology!”

(Needless to say, we went to the principal and, however they managed to do it, religion class was no longer mandatory for us six students.)

There’s Always Someone In The Family You Don’t Talk About

| Halifax, NS, Canada | Religion, Students

(I teach Sunday school for ages 3-5 at a local church. I have just taught my class about the sign of the cross.)

Me: “…so the father is God and the son is Jesus.”

Student: “Who is the man?”

Me: “What man?”

Student: “You said it was the father, the son, the holy spirit, and a man.”

Me: *trying to hold in my laughter* “It’s Amen.”

Student: “Oh, okay… So who is it?”

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