Category: Musical Mayhem

‘Do Re Mi’ Became Do Me

| USA | Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque

(In music class, we have just finished watching The Sound Of Music. Our teacher pauses to movie to explain to us what happened to the family afterwards.)

Teacher: “So, two of the children died while they were traveling on the mountain. But, [Main Character] and [Her Husband] had several other children afterwards.”

Student: “So, when they had kids, did they do it on the mountain?”

Teacher: “I’m… not going to answer that.”

You Only Have ‘Each Other’ To Blame

| Townsend, MA, USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque

(In music class, the song we are working on has a line that only the tenors sing to completion, with everyone else cutting off just before the words “each other.” However simply out of habit the entire class sings the whole line. We have gone over this a few times already and keep getting it wrong.)

Teacher: “Look, I know you all want to do ‘each other’…”

(We immediately all started laughing. Looking back on it, he probably did it on purpose.)

Requires A Long Explanation

| Riverside, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Musical Mayhem, Teachers

(I am a student in one of the state’s most renowned bands. We are often late to our classes due to the fact that we have to help put away every instrument. All of my teachers are okay with it, except my math teacher, a strict woman in her mid-40s that seems to have an extreme prejudice against band students, and hates admitting that she’s wrong.)

Teacher: *sneering* “Well, if it isn’t [My Name]. I saw the football performance last night. I can’t believe that your trombones fell and caused over 13 people to fall.”

Me: “Ma’am, we didn’t have a football performance last night. Heck, football season is over! Also, that video is over three years old. And, they weren’t trombones; they were sousaphones.”

Teacher: *sputters* “Well, baseball season is right now! I know it was the trombones, because they were the long ones!”

Me: “Well, baseball season IS right now, but I have yet to see a marching band performance in a baseball game. Also, there about 17 different instruments that if you stretch them out, will become longer than the average human being.”

Teacher: *blushes red* “No! I saw a baseball marching band performance! There aren’t any instruments longer than the human body! The only long one is the long one, with the slide!”

Me: “You mean the TROMBONE? Also, the French horn, the really wacky one, is over 35 feet long.”

Teacher: *speechless*

(Thankfully, she resigned a year later.)

KanYe For President!

| TX, USA | Musical Mayhem, Politics

(We are giving power-point presentations over lab procedures in AP Biology. This particular group’s theme was “Post-lab cleanup”, and shows a variety of images on the board.)

Student #1: “Okay, so here, you can see Snooki, Kanye West, the Kardashians, the Presidential candidates, and [Rival School]. What do these all have in common?”

Student #2: “…They’re all train wrecks?”

Student #1: “Well, they are… They’re also all trash! Make sure to clean up trash like this when labs end!”

You Orchestrated It

| Eastvale, CA, USA | Musical Mayhem, Punny, Rude & Risque

(My friends and I are in the band room, telling jokes.)

Me: “Do you know why you should apologize to a trombone? ‘Cause they always let things SLIDE.”

Friend: “You know what is the clarinet’s favorite sport? Flute Ball!”

Friend #2: “You know what instrument works at the graveyard? The baritone.”

Friend #3: “You know who you should date in band? The saxes for being so saxxy.”

Teacher: “You know who sucks the most d***? The trumpets, because they blow the most!”

All Of Us: *shocked gaze*

Teacher: “What? Too much?”

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