Category: Musical Mayhem

In Harmony With Your Prediction

| Tampa, FL, USA | Musical Mayhem, Teachers

(I’ve been in choir for three years, and am in the top audition-only class. I’m also on the chorus student board. Thus, I have a lot of experience dealing with our director. We’re in a dress rehearsal. I’m standing next to a couple friends who have just joined. Our director is in the middle of a lecture to the entire combined chorus.)

Director: “…and [My Class]! All of you are sloppy and off-beat!! The beginning class sounds better than YOU!”

Friend #1: “Geez…”

Me: *quietly* “Standard [Director]’s pre-show meltdown. It happens at every dress rehearsal of every performance ever. Everyone is terrible and we’re all going to fail tonight. But tomorrow night he’ll be complimenting us on how great we sound!”

Friend #2: “How do you know this?”

Me: “Hello! How long have I been in chorus?”

Director: “WHO IS TALKING?! You need to pay attention or you are all going to FAIL tomorrow night!”

(We all shut up. The next night…)

Director: “I am so proud of all of you!! You did a great job! Everyone was on key and in harmony!”

(Friends #1 and #2 look at me in amazement.)

Me: “Told you.”

It’s As Cold As Ice

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Musical Mayhem, Technology

(My friend is a huge fan of CSI: Miami, with his ringtone set to the opening theme. One day, my friend’s phone goes off in the middle of a lecture. Our professor, although a great lecturer, has a strict no tolerance policy on phones during the lecture, especially when they ring or an alert tone plays.)

Friend’s Phone: *ringtone starts to play*

Professor: “YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”

(He then proceeds to mime playing a guitar to the rest of the theme. Once he’s finished, he takes a bow, to our sudden surprise and applause, before looking at the student.)

Professor: “But seriously, [Friend], I’m going to need that phone…”

Classmate: “But sir, that’s cold!”

Professor: “Yes, it is Alex…”

(Cue laughter from the entire class.)

Cha Cha Real Smooth

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Field Trip, Musical Mayhem

(I am on a field trip widely known for being one of the loudest field trips ever, in part because they encourage the students to get loud. We are in between lessons, and as things are prepared for the next lesson, music is playing and the students are cheering and dancing. Then they play a song that everybody knows a little too well.)

Music: “FREEZE! Everybody clap your hands!”

(Without fail, just about every kid in attendance starts clapping. There are SIXTEEN THOUSAND kids present. This was perhaps the best rendition of Cha Cha Slide I have ever participated in.)

If You Forget You’ll Just… Die!

| KS, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Musical Mayhem

(I am attending a club meeting. One of the members opens her planner to write our upcoming event on it and leaves it open on the table. Another member glances at her planner.)

Member #1: “Why did you need to write that in your planner?”

Member #2:Need to Breathe is the name of a band.”

Unable To Face The Music

| USA | Musical Mayhem, Teachers, Time

(At the end of my junior year, I meet with a different counselor to discuss my schedule for senior year. Our school is very small, around a hundred students, so there aren’t a lot of options for classes.)

Counselor: “All right, according to your information, you only have two classes you need to take to graduate, English and science. You have to be enrolled in at least four classes to be considered a student, but after that if your classes are all in the morning you can look into taking classes at [Community College] at the end of the day.”

Me: “Great! So let’s get the necessary ones out of the way.”

Counselor: “Okay, English and science are both offered during first period… oh, but your level of English is only offered then, and your science isn’t offered again until fifth period.”

Me: “Ugh. So I need to fill three more classes and take five total?”

Counselor: “Yep. What do you want?”

Me: “Okay, I definitely want to be in the steel drum band again.”

Counselor: “That’s going to be second period. I’ll sign you up right now.”

Me: “Fantastic. And, I hear they’ll be offering a guitar class next year?”

Counselor: “Yes.”

Me: “If you could get me in that would be great. I’m dying to learn how to play the guitar.”

Counselor: “Anything else?”

Me: “I’d really like to be able to take an art class. Or one of the technical classes. Mechanical Drawing was fun. Maybe one of the computer classes?”

Counselor: “I’ll see what I can do.”

(At the first day of school, I get my schedule. First period is English, second is Steel Drums, and third is Health.)

Me: “What? Health?”

(I go to the counselor during lunch.)

Me: “Why am I in health class?”

Counselor: “Everything else was full.”

Me: “You couldn’t get me into a guitar class?”

Counselor: “There was no room.”

Me: “I already passed health. I got an A.”

Counselor: “Well, you have to take the classes to stay enrolled. You can’t just skip a class in the middle of the day, so it’s got to be something and health was the only thing available.”

Me: “Ugh.”

Counselor: “Sorry, that’s just how it is.”

Me: “It’s fine. I get it.”

(A few weeks later, my music teacher wants to challenge me and gives me an arrangement of Für Elise for the lead pan to play at our next concert. At the end of class I approach her.)

Me: “I appreciate the challenge, but I’m just not sure I’ll be ready in time for the concert.”

Music Teacher: “Well, what class do you have third period?”

Me: “Health. But I already passed it and I remember all the things we’re learning so I won’t be missing anything.”

Music Teacher: “I don’t have any students next period. Ask if you can stay here for the next class to practice.”

(Health class is just down the hall, so I run to ask.)

Me: “Hey, [Health Teacher], can I please stay in the music room this period to work on my solo?”

Health Teacher: “No.”

Me: “Why not?”

Health Teacher: “Because you need this credit to graduate.”

Me: “I told you before I already have this credit. I passed with an A my freshman year so this class doesn’t actually count for my grade point average.”

Health Teacher: “Then why are you wasting my time?”

Me: “Don’t put this on me! I didn’t sign up for this. The counselor said this is the only class available for me this period.”

Health Teacher: “Okay, go on down to the music room. See if you can transfer out. I don’t want you wasting time.”

Me: “Thanks!”

(I practice my solo all next period. When the bell rings and I pack up, I remember to ask something.)

Me: “Hey, [Music Teacher]? Why don’t you have any students this period? I didn’t take away your planning period, did I?”

Music Teacher: “Oh, no, that’s not it. This was supposed to be my guitar section, but no one signed up.”

Me: “…”

(I went straight to the counselor and told her what the music teacher told me. Suddenly she was able to get me into a guitar class. By the end of winter break, the class was full.)

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