Category: Musical Mayhem

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Play That Sexy Brass

USA | Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque

(While in concert band, our director is addressing issues in one of our songs. I play trumpet.)

Director: “Trumpets, you stand out too much. I need you to blend in with the French horns…”

(He continues telling other sections what they need to improve, and reminds us all what needs to be addressed right before we play.)

Director: “Remember, trumpets, be more horny.”

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Maybe They Weren’t Born In The USA

| Northboro, MA, USA | Musical Mayhem

(Because I only need three history classes to graduate, I skip history my junior year and take a junior class my senior year. One day the teacher comes in holding a CD.)

Teacher: “All right! We’re listening to The Boss today!”

Me: “Oh, man! Yes!”

Classmate: *after nobody else says anything* “Uhm… The Boss?”

Me: “Wait… you don’t know? Bruce Springsteen!”

(A few of my classmates nod at this, but most of them still seem confused.)

Me: “You don’t know Bruce Springsteen?!”

Classmate: “I guess it’s a generation thing…”

Me: “I’m ONE year older than you!”

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Copying It To The Letter

| USA | Musical Mayhem

(I’m a teacher and will often joke with my students in class. It’s the beginning of class and I go to answer a knock at my door while I am giving instructions to my students.)

Me: “Okay, guys, go ahead and jump onto the computers and into our program. Well, not literally into the computers, like Steve jumps into pictures on Blue’s Clues.”

(A few of the students respond and giggle as I open the door to a student dropping off a document. I turn around to walk it back to my desk and a student sees that it’s in an envelope.)

Student: *singing, just like the Blue’s Clues song* “We just got a letter!”

Me: *joining in* “We just got a letter!”

Rest Of Class: “We just got a letter! Wonder who it’s from?”

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Pharrell Is 16th Note Triplet

| USA | Musical Mayhem

Music Professor: *narrating an opera* “This is a mezzo-soprano singing the castrato part. So, you have two women singing a love song to one another. But don’t get freaked out, because one of them is a man.”

(Later on:)

Music Professor: “And now they’ll break into 16th note triplets because that’s what you do when you’re happy. You can’t help yourself.”

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Can’t Liszten To This

| USA | History, Musical Mayhem

Music History Professor: “Some lady in England says that she has channeled Liszt and has written all this awful piano music. I mean, it’s possible. He’s been dead for 150 years; maybe he’s lost his touch.”

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