Category: Musical Mayhem

Unable To Face The Music

| USA | Musical Mayhem, Teachers, Time

(At the end of my junior year, I meet with a different counselor to discuss my schedule for senior year. Our school is very small, around a hundred students, so there aren’t a lot of options for classes.)

Counselor: “All right, according to your information, you only have two classes you need to take to graduate, English and science. You have to be enrolled in at least four classes to be considered a student, but after that if your classes are all in the morning you can look into taking classes at [Community College] at the end of the day.”

Me: “Great! So let’s get the necessary ones out of the way.”

Counselor: “Okay, English and science are both offered during first period… oh, but your level of English is only offered then, and your science isn’t offered again until fifth period.”

Me: “Ugh. So I need to fill three more classes and take five total?”

Counselor: “Yep. What do you want?”

Me: “Okay, I definitely want to be in the steel drum band again.”

Counselor: “That’s going to be second period. I’ll sign you up right now.”

Me: “Fantastic. And, I hear they’ll be offering a guitar class next year?”

Counselor: “Yes.”

Me: “If you could get me in that would be great. I’m dying to learn how to play the guitar.”

Counselor: “Anything else?”

Me: “I’d really like to be able to take an art class. Or one of the technical classes. Mechanical Drawing was fun. Maybe one of the computer classes?”

Counselor: “I’ll see what I can do.”

(At the first day of school, I get my schedule. First period is English, second is Steel Drums, and third is Health.)

Me: “What? Health?”

(I go to the counselor during lunch.)

Me: “Why am I in health class?”

Counselor: “Everything else was full.”

Me: “You couldn’t get me into a guitar class?”

Counselor: “There was no room.”

Me: “I already passed health. I got an A.”

Counselor: “Well, you have to take the classes to stay enrolled. You can’t just skip a class in the middle of the day, so it’s got to be something and health was the only thing available.”

Me: “Ugh.”

Counselor: “Sorry, that’s just how it is.”

Me: “It’s fine. I get it.”

(A few weeks later, my music teacher wants to challenge me and gives me an arrangement of Für Elise for the lead pan to play at our next concert. At the end of class I approach her.)

Me: “I appreciate the challenge, but I’m just not sure I’ll be ready in time for the concert.”

Music Teacher: “Well, what class do you have third period?”

Me: “Health. But I already passed it and I remember all the things we’re learning so I won’t be missing anything.”

Music Teacher: “I don’t have any students next period. Ask if you can stay here for the next class to practice.”

(Health class is just down the hall, so I run to ask.)

Me: “Hey, [Health Teacher], can I please stay in the music room this period to work on my solo?”

Health Teacher: “No.”

Me: “Why not?”

Health Teacher: “Because you need this credit to graduate.”

Me: “I told you before I already have this credit. I passed with an A my freshman year so this class doesn’t actually count for my grade point average.”

Health Teacher: “Then why are you wasting my time?”

Me: “Don’t put this on me! I didn’t sign up for this. The counselor said this is the only class available for me this period.”

Health Teacher: “Okay, go on down to the music room. See if you can transfer out. I don’t want you wasting time.”

Me: “Thanks!”

(I practice my solo all next period. When the bell rings and I pack up, I remember to ask something.)

Me: “Hey, [Music Teacher]? Why don’t you have any students this period? I didn’t take away your planning period, did I?”

Music Teacher: “Oh, no, that’s not it. This was supposed to be my guitar section, but no one signed up.”

Me: “…”

(I went straight to the counselor and told her what the music teacher told me. Suddenly she was able to get me into a guitar class. By the end of winter break, the class was full.)

‘Do Re Mi’ Became Do Me

| USA | Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque

(In music class, we have just finished watching The Sound Of Music. Our teacher pauses to movie to explain to us what happened to the family afterwards.)

Teacher: “So, two of the children died while they were traveling on the mountain. But, [Main Character] and [Her Husband] had several other children afterwards.”

Student: “So, when they had kids, did they do it on the mountain?”

Teacher: “I’m… not going to answer that.”

You Only Have ‘Each Other’ To Blame

| Townsend, MA, USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque

(In music class, the song we are working on has a line that only the tenors sing to completion, with everyone else cutting off just before the words “each other.” However simply out of habit the entire class sings the whole line. We have gone over this a few times already and keep getting it wrong.)

Teacher: “Look, I know you all want to do ‘each other’…”

(We immediately all started laughing. Looking back on it, he probably did it on purpose.)

Requires A Long Explanation

| Riverside, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Musical Mayhem, Teachers

(I am a student in one of the state’s most renowned bands. We are often late to our classes due to the fact that we have to help put away every instrument. All of my teachers are okay with it, except my math teacher, a strict woman in her mid-40s that seems to have an extreme prejudice against band students, and hates admitting that she’s wrong.)

Teacher: *sneering* “Well, if it isn’t [My Name]. I saw the football performance last night. I can’t believe that your trombones fell and caused over 13 people to fall.”

Me: “Ma’am, we didn’t have a football performance last night. Heck, football season is over! Also, that video is over three years old. And, they weren’t trombones; they were sousaphones.”

Teacher: *sputters* “Well, baseball season is right now! I know it was the trombones, because they were the long ones!”

Me: “Well, baseball season IS right now, but I have yet to see a marching band performance in a baseball game. Also, there about 17 different instruments that if you stretch them out, will become longer than the average human being.”

Teacher: *blushes red* “No! I saw a baseball marching band performance! There aren’t any instruments longer than the human body! The only long one is the long one, with the slide!”

Me: “You mean the TROMBONE? Also, the French horn, the really wacky one, is over 35 feet long.”

Teacher: *speechless*

(Thankfully, she resigned a year later.)

KanYe For President!

| TX, USA | Musical Mayhem, Politics

(We are giving power-point presentations over lab procedures in AP Biology. This particular group’s theme was “Post-lab cleanup”, and shows a variety of images on the board.)

Student #1: “Okay, so here, you can see Snooki, Kanye West, the Kardashians, the Presidential candidates, and [Rival School]. What do these all have in common?”

Student #2: “…They’re all train wrecks?”

Student #1: “Well, they are… They’re also all trash! Make sure to clean up trash like this when labs end!”

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