Category: Math & Science

Congruent To Your Maturity

| Portland, OR, USA | Language & Words, Math & Science

(We’re learning about types of congruence in isosceles triangles in my geometry class, and this unfortunate type of congruence pops up.)

Teacher: “So this type of congruence would be Angle-Side-Side congruence, or ASS congruence.”

Wasn’t Calculating On That Outcome

| IL, USA | Math & Science, Teachers

(We are in an advanced math class in my junior year of high school. Our teacher is new, mainly hired on to coach volleyball. She doesn’t have a very good temper and while she’s good at math, she doesn’t teach it well. This is an advanced class of pre-calculus with analytical geometry. One of the smartest students in class likes to know as much as possible.)

Classmate: So what IS calculus?

Teacher: *annoyed* “What do you mean? It’s calculus. It’s an advanced type of math.”

Classmate: “Well, geometry deals with lines, shapes… that sort of thing. What do we do with calculus?”

Teacher: “It’s not that simple.”

Classmate #2: “Okay, so what would we use calculus for in real life?”

Teacher: *now angry* “I don’t know! Why does it matter? All you need to know is that you’re in this class and you’re learning pre-calculus.”

Classmate #3: *under breath to me* “…Seriously?”

An Astronomically Small Chance Of Budging

| FL, USA | Math & Science, Teachers

(It’s the end of 11th grade, and we are picking classes for the next year. In our four core subjects, we have to get our teachers to sign off on our class choices. I’m scheduled to take multiple honors & Advanced Placement (AP) classes for everything else, so I decide to switch it up a bit for science. When I see that our school offers an astronomy class, I decide to sign up, as that’s a subject I’ve always been interested in. During class, my physics teacher calls me up to her desk to see what I’ve picked, and sign off on it. I’m usually the quiet kid who sits in the back of the classroom and doesn’t say anything.)

Teacher: “Ah, [My Name]. For you, I recommend AP Physics.”

(I HATE physics, and have struggled in it all year.)

Me: “Actually, I don’t want to take AP Physics.”

Teacher: “Oh! Well, that’s no problem. There’s also AP Biology or AP Chemistry. Which one would you like?”

Me: “I want to take Astronomy.”

Teacher: “…astronomy?!”

Me: “Yes.”

Teacher: “No.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Teacher: “No. That course is much too easy for you.”

Me: “But I like astronomy.”

Teacher: “You will be bored. I will not sign off on that.”

Me: “But—”

Teacher: “AP Physics, AP Biology, AP Chemistry. Those are your choices. Go back to your seat and think about which one you want. I’ll come back to you in five minutes.”

(I go back to my seat and fume. As I’m skimming the list of science classes, I spot Marine Biology on the list. This is something else that interests me, so I decide to use this as my backup. My teacher calls me back up…)

Teacher: *with a smug look on her face* “Okay, [My Name]. Have you come to your senses?”

Me: “Yes. I want to take astronomy.”

Teacher: “And I already told you no.”

Me: “Fine. I want to take marine biology instead.”

Teacher: “WHAT?!”

Me: “Yes.”

Teacher: “NO!”

Me: “It looks fun!”

Teacher: “It’s too easy! I’ve seen your records. You’re an excellent student, and you are too good for this!”

Me: “MAYBE I WANT AN EASY CLASS!”

(The classroom goes silent. My teacher stares at me. I fold my arms and stare back.)

Teacher: “You’re really not going to budge, are you?”

Me: “Nope.”

Teacher: *heavy sigh* “Fine. Marine biology. You’re going to regret this.”

(I march back to my seat triumphantly. My lab partner has her head down on her desk, and is shaking with laughter.)

Me: “Did…did you hear that?”

Classmate: “The whole class heard that, and it was GREAT. I can’t believe you won…”

(I discovered a couple weeks later that I could dual enroll in college instead of going back to my high school for senior year. I elected to do this. The first science class I signed up for? Astronomy. I took the class with one of my best friends, and we loved it!)

Thinking Outside The Non-Existent Box

| Canada | Math & Science

(We are in math class, learning about volume. The teacher is currently talking about the volume of boxes.)

Teacher: “Would the volume of this box change if you submerged it underwater?”

Class: “No.”

Teacher: “And [Student #1]! Would the volume of the box change if it caught on fire?”

Student #1: “No.”

Me: “Actually, it would. The box would burn and it wouldn’t hold anything anymore.”

Teacher: “What if the box was fireproof, [My Name]?”

Me: “Then it wouldn’t catch on fire in the first place.”

Teacher: “…touché.”

People Are Dying To Pass This Test

| NY, USA | Exams/Tests, Math & Science

(Our science teacher has just showed us how, in the right ratios, very toxic substances can react to form completely harmless ones, like salt and water.)

Teacher: “And you all need to pay attention, because some students have suggested I make this the final exam. I’d give you a bunch of poisons and strong acids, and you would have to pick two, figure out the right ratios, and mix them to make something harmless. When you’re done, you drink it. If you live, you pass. If you do it wrong, you die.”

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