Category: Holidays

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I’m Dreaming Of A Black Kwanzaa

| TN, USA | Holidays, Students

(I am a senior in high school. Because of a scheduling conflict, I have to take a semester-long “Business and Computer Skills” class. It’s not a very hard class, and the teacher is not particularly qualified. It’s shortly before winter break, and since we don’t have anything left to do in the course, the teacher has given us HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS the assignment of making holiday cards on the computer. I’ve decided to mess around with the assignment. It should be noted that this teacher is black, and I am not.)

Teacher: “[My Name], what are you making?”

Me: “A Kwanzaa card.”

Teacher: “A Kwanzaa card? For who?”

Me: “[One of the guidance counselors, who is white].”

Teacher: “Does she even celebrate Kwanzaa?”

Me: “Almost certainly not.”

Teacher: “Don’t send it to her.”

(I turn to the student sitting next to me, who is also black.)

Me: “[Student], do you want a Kwanzaa card?”

Student: “Okay.”

(The teacher didn’t even ask him if he celebrated Kwanzaa. I passed the assignment.)

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That’s The Way The Christmas Cookie Crumbles

| Australia | Food & Drink, Holidays, Staff

(I work IT for two schools. At this one, I work out of the staffroom as the school is small and I’m only there once a week. It’s the end of year and Christmas; as such there are lots of goodies being prepared for morning tea that I can’t touch yet.)

Coworker: “Oh, this cake looks good. It must be hard not being able to eat it for an hour.”

Me: *looking up from my laptop and using my best sad voice* “I didn’t even realise that was there until now…”

Coworker: “Oh. Well, I’ll just block your view with these biscuits.”

Me: *more sadly* “I didn’t even realise THOSE were there!”

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Christmas Is Navidead

| WA, USA | Holidays, Language & Words

(We are in Spanish class on the last day before break. The teacher has written two things you can say that mean “happy holidays.” At this point everyone is aware of the ‘scandal’ of Starbucks cups lacking Christmas imagery.)

Student #1: “We need more ways to say happy holidays.”

Student #2: *writing it on the board* “Feliz Navidad!”

Me: “That means Merry Christmas, not happy holidays.”

Student #2: “Oh, oops.”

(Next to “Feliz Navidad,” he wrote “This message brought to you by Starbucks!”)

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Don’t Sweat Tomorrow

| PA, USA | Holidays, Teachers

(The week before Christmas day, and the day before ugly sweater day. Our science teacher is wearing a sweater like he does most days, and this one student blurts out…)

Student: “Mr. [Teacher], you know ugly sweater day is tomorrow right?”

Teacher: “Yeah, tomorrow I’ll wear one with a picture of your face on it.”

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Jew You See What I See?

| Waterford, MI, USA | Holidays, Religion, Students

(I go to a strict Catholic school. We’re celebrating the countdown to Christmas break and each day a different student gets to draw on the board. Today is my day so I draw a star on a Christmas tree.)

Student #1: “TEACHER! [My Name] hates Christmas!”

Me: “Um, what?”

Student #1: “Stars like that are Jewish! You hate Christmas! You can’t have a Jewish star on a Christmas tree!”

Teacher: “That’s not a star of David. Even if it was, Jesus was Jewish, too.”

Student #2: “No! Jesus is Christian!”

(The teacher tried to explain how Jesus was actually Jewish, but no one listened to her. A few parents even complained about her “spreading lies.” I didn’t draw Christmas stars on trees anymore until I left that school. )

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