Category: History

It’s A Battle To Be Heard

| MA, USA | Awesome, History, Teachers

(It is springtime, and the windows are all open. We are in chemistry class when we hear a commotion from the history classroom across the corner. The American History teacher, who LOVES history, and waxes dramatic about it, is in the middle of describing a great battle, complete with sound effects. Exactly which one, we cannot be sure of, although it clearly involves bombs, explosions, and noisy violence. The chemistry teacher pauses and the class falls silent as we all listen. After a few moments, the chemistry teacher speaks:)

Teacher: “Gosh, I sure hope we’re winning!”

A Renaissance Of Knowledge

| Omaha, NE, USA | Genius, History

(I had spent the first quarter of the year in AP Chemistry; but I dropped the second half of the course due my acceptance that I do not understand the subject even if I can balance equations and perform labs flawlessly. Instead, I am allowed to take the second half of European History; which I have always adored. On my first day…)

Teacher: “Okay, welcome back after fall break. We’re going to refresh some of the major points from the end of last semester before digging into new material. First question: How did St. Peter’s Basilica impact the Reformation?”

(No one raises their hand, so I do, rather shyly. My teacher points at me.)

Me: “The money used to build it came primarily from the sale of indulgences; where the Church claimed that by giving money, you could lessen the amount of time you or a loved one spent in Purgatory. Martin Luther felt that indulgences were a sign of corruption, and that the relationship with God should be personal.”

Teacher: “Exactly. Now, what were the primary differences between the Italian and English Renaissance?”

(Once again, no one moves to answer, so I raise my hand.)

Me: “The Italian Renaissance occurred in the 14-to-1500s, and is characterized by advancements in art. Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Rafael. The English occurred a century later, and imported much of the art, but advanced scientific knowledge, like Isaac Newton and the theory of gravity.”

Teacher: “Excellent. The Hundred Year’s War was ignited by…?”

Me: “The English claim to the French throne, which the French rejected, as they didn’t allow inheritance through the female line.”

Teacher: “Exactly.” *pause* “Were you here last quarter?”

Me: “No, I transferred in.”

Teacher: “How is it that the only person who knows the answers is the one who wasn’t here?!”

As Real As Your Common Sense

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Students

(I am in chemistry class my junior year, because I didn’t do any of the work the previous year. I have a 100 average in the class and the class is full of not-so-smart people. As we’re watching a reenactment of a scientist discovering something important in the 1800s:)

Classmate: “Wait, is this real? Like, are those the actual people?”

But Both Have Layers

| New Zealand | Art/Design, Bizarre/Silly, History, Movies & TV

(I’m walking down the corridor when I hear this conversation between two girls I know.)

Girl #1: *holding up green-tinted tote bag* “Is this Shrek?”

Girl #2: “Shrek?! That’s Frida Khalo!”

It’s Not Oui-sy To Learn Like This

| USA | Bizarre/Silly, History, Language & Words

(My history teacher always makes fun of the French and how they surrender and collaborate. In class he started to go off about the French in the American war for independence.)

Teacher: “[My Name], did we ever repay the French for helping us during the American War for Independence?”

Me: “Oui.”

Teacher: “[My Name], do not use that kind of language in my classroom; I will not tolerate it.”

Me: “Oh, non!”

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