Category: History

Commanded To Read The Constitution

| USA | History, Religion

(I am in eighth grade at the time, and we have started discussing the U.S. Constitution and The Bill of Rights. Student #2 is kind of an airhead.)

Teacher: “Can anybody tell me what the Bill of Rights is?”

Student #1: “The first ten amendments to the Constitution?”

Teacher: “Right! Can anybody name one of the amendments?”

Student #2: “Oh! ‘Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife’!”

Making A Class Of Vegetarians

| VA, USA | Books & Reading, Food & Drink, History

(I am teaching my eleventh grade history class about the Progressive Movement. As part of the unit, I have them read an excerpt from Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle. I have two unusually rowdy, but good classes. Everything has gone smoothly up until this point.)

Me: “While you are reading, pay attention to details.”

Student #1: “This is disgusting. How can people do this?”

Student #2: “Did people really eat this?”

Me: “Oh, sure. There was even an episode of [Popular Forensics Show] that displayed the results of non-Kosher killing methods. Some parts are not good for humans to eat.”

Student #3: “So is this now… or… like… a long time ago?”

Me: “This is during the late 1800s. This is when there were no government regulations. I…” *suddenly stops, wide-eyed in shock* “Uh oh…”

Student #4: “What? What’s wrong?!”

Me: “I forgot to tell that to first block…”

It’s A Battle To Be Heard

| MA, USA | Awesome, History, Teachers

(It is springtime, and the windows are all open. We are in chemistry class when we hear a commotion from the history classroom across the corner. The American History teacher, who LOVES history, and waxes dramatic about it, is in the middle of describing a great battle, complete with sound effects. Exactly which one, we cannot be sure of, although it clearly involves bombs, explosions, and noisy violence. The chemistry teacher pauses and the class falls silent as we all listen. After a few moments, the chemistry teacher speaks:)

Teacher: “Gosh, I sure hope we’re winning!”

A Renaissance Of Knowledge

| Omaha, NE, USA | Genius, History

(I had spent the first quarter of the year in AP Chemistry; but I dropped the second half of the course due my acceptance that I do not understand the subject even if I can balance equations and perform labs flawlessly. Instead, I am allowed to take the second half of European History; which I have always adored. On my first day…)

Teacher: “Okay, welcome back after fall break. We’re going to refresh some of the major points from the end of last semester before digging into new material. First question: How did St. Peter’s Basilica impact the Reformation?”

(No one raises their hand, so I do, rather shyly. My teacher points at me.)

Me: “The money used to build it came primarily from the sale of indulgences; where the Church claimed that by giving money, you could lessen the amount of time you or a loved one spent in Purgatory. Martin Luther felt that indulgences were a sign of corruption, and that the relationship with God should be personal.”

Teacher: “Exactly. Now, what were the primary differences between the Italian and English Renaissance?”

(Once again, no one moves to answer, so I raise my hand.)

Me: “The Italian Renaissance occurred in the 14-to-1500s, and is characterized by advancements in art. Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Rafael. The English occurred a century later, and imported much of the art, but advanced scientific knowledge, like Isaac Newton and the theory of gravity.”

Teacher: “Excellent. The Hundred Year’s War was ignited by…?”

Me: “The English claim to the French throne, which the French rejected, as they didn’t allow inheritance through the female line.”

Teacher: “Exactly.” *pause* “Were you here last quarter?”

Me: “No, I transferred in.”

Teacher: “How is it that the only person who knows the answers is the one who wasn’t here?!”

As Real As Your Common Sense

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Students

(I am in chemistry class my junior year, because I didn’t do any of the work the previous year. I have a 100 average in the class and the class is full of not-so-smart people. As we’re watching a reenactment of a scientist discovering something important in the 1800s:)

Classmate: “Wait, is this real? Like, are those the actual people?”

Page 1/5712345...Last