Category: Games

Tearing Down Your Pig House

| Milton, WA, USA | Backhanded Compliments, Games, Students

(I am one of those girls who rarely has a good comeback on the spot, and I am easy to annoy. I am in science class, and we are in the middle of an experiment. I already finished my work and am now waiting for my partner to finish his. A couple of other guys are being annoying as h*** at the table over, and haven’t even looked at their work, much less done it. Note that Angry Birds, a game with an objective to fling birds at pigs via slingshot to score points, has been out for about a month at this time.)

Student #1: “Yo, we need to finish this up so [Teacher] doesn’t grade us down and give us detention again.”

Student #2: “We could have [My Name] do it for us. She’s smart and wouldn’t mind being around some hot guys like us.” *yeah, he actually said that*

Student #1: *looking in my direction, where I was staring off into space but aware of my surrounding* “Yo, [My Name]. Why don’t you come ‘ere and help us do this.”

Me: “Do it yourself. It’s not that hard.”

Student #1: “I bet you just suck at science if you’re saying no.”

(Annoyed now, I show him a hand gesture — both index and ring up, like a V, and the palm facing me. While it’s offensive in several countries, it looks like a number in the USA, and not offensive in school.)

Student #1: *laughs* “Wow, the number two. I’m so afraid.”

Me: “Actually, I want to flip you the bird, but it feels too much like Angry Birds.”

(I start packing things up after looking at the clock, not realizing the double meaning of what I just said. My partner, snickering, finishes up the work, and speaks up.)

Partner: “She just implied that you’re a pig, [Student #1].”

(The bell rang literally ten seconds later, and I’d already left the room, so Student #1 didn’t have enough time to say anything back.)

Erasing Your Self-Confidence

| Paramus, NJ, USA | Games, Teachers

(When I was in elementary school, we had old-style blackboards that still used chalk. Each one had a metal strip along the bottom to hold the eraser; the strip spanned the entire length of the blackboard and was about two inches wide. We used to play a game where you balanced the eraser on the edge at one end of the blackboard, and you had X chances to push the eraser along the strip. If by the end of those chances, the eraser was balanced on the edge at the other end of the strip, you gained a point. If it fell off the side or went over the edge, you lost a point. One day, our teacher is lecturing while walking back and forth across the front of the room, idly pushing the eraser along the strip. At one point it falls off the side.)

Student: “Negative one!”

Teacher: *looks at him, bewildered* “Is that your IQ or the number of friends you have?”

Everything Eventually Becomes Porn

| USA | Games, Rude & Risque, Students

(During English, we are playing a game called ‘Telephone’ where you whisper a message into someone’s ear and they pass it on until we reach the last person. The message tends to be different from the original by the time the last person hears it. We had one rule, and that was the message had to be appropriate. We’ve just reached the last person. Note: The original message was ‘The Cardboard King lives in a clock made of peanut butter’.)

Teacher: “All right, [Student #2], what’d you hear?”

Student #2: “I don’t think I should say it.”

Me: “Say it!”

(Cue a bunch of students encouraging the teacher to cover her ears.)

Student #2: “Hardcore gay porn.” *unintelligible muttering*

(We didn’t play another game.)

Hop To It!

| Fukushima, Japan | Bizarre/Silly, Games

(I teach English at some public schools in Japan. There is a game I use with the fifth year elementary kids to help get used to counting where I split them into teams to play rock-paper-scissors against the computer. Losers sit, winners stand, ties stay how they were, and we count people standing and sitting to decide points.)

Me: “Okay, team one is five people. This team two is six people and team three is five. Hmm. Team two can I have a volunteer to play samurai?”

(The samurai moves to which ever team has the most sitting people to help them. They usually sit in a chair at the front. I apparently didn’t make that clear this time )

Little Girl: “Hai.” *raises her hand the fastest*

Me: “Okay, come up here for now.”

(Nods and comes up to the front. We have the first round and I go to the team that scored lowest.)

Me: “Okay, ask her: ‘Please help.’”

Team: “Please help!”

Little Girl: “Okay!” *extends her arms and proceeds to hop over to the team as if she were a kuangshi, a hopping vampire from Chinese and Japanese myth*

Me: “Umm, okay.”

(The little girl proceeds to act like a kuangshi every time she switches teams and does very well at counting. At one point I look over and see a student has put a piece of paper on their forehead like the special prayer charms that are supposed to control a kuangshi.)

Me: “Another one.” *to the girl* “Are you biting people?”

(At the end of the lesson.)

Me: “Okay, everyone say ‘Thank you, kuangshi.’”

Class: “Thank you, kuangshi!”

Kuangshi Girl: “Hai!” *waves and hops back to her seat*

Tough Exam? Game On

FL, USA | Exams/Tests, Games

(My best friend and I had six out of eight classes together last year. I could go on for days on end with quotes and stories, but this particular incident takes place in our math class at the end of the year. We’re both in advanced classes and are preparing for a super-important exam in class, but both of us are on our phones, playing the same game.)

Best Friend: “She released us to do our work. We have an exam in two days.”

Me: “Yep.”

Best Friend: “The study time would be useful.”

Me: “Yep.”

(Pause. He is considering skipping to my empty seventh period class this day.)

Me: “We’ll have all of seventh to play this game.”

Best Friend: “Yep.” *pause* “We’re not gonna stop, are we?”

Me: “Nope…”

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