Category: Food & Drink


The Flavor Tricolor

| England, UK | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, History

(My history group is learning about different topics, ranging from Native American tribes to medieval England. We are currently learning about the French Revolution.)

Teacher: “Napoleon used the Revolution in order to gain power and influence—”

Student: “Wait, an ice-cream flavour tried taking over France?”

(Laughter shortly follows, and several students hit their heads on the table, refusing to look up.)

Me: “I think you mean Neapolitan.”


That’s The Way The Christmas Cookie Crumbles

| Australia | Food & Drink, Holidays, Staff

(I work IT for two schools. At this one, I work out of the staffroom as the school is small and I’m only there once a week. It’s the end of year and Christmas; as such there are lots of goodies being prepared for morning tea that I can’t touch yet.)

Coworker: “Oh, this cake looks good. It must be hard not being able to eat it for an hour.”

Me: *looking up from my laptop and using my best sad voice* “I didn’t even realise that was there until now…”

Coworker: “Oh. Well, I’ll just block your view with these biscuits.”

Me: *more sadly* “I didn’t even realise THOSE were there!”


Never Too Chicken To Love Your Mother

| Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(It’s Mother’s Day and my second grade class is having an event where they can invite their moms to the class for a party. They did an activity earlier where they had to write a paper about what they like about their mothers. I left all the papers out on a table for the moms to see. I see one of my students run over to the table, find his paper, and write something on it.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Boy: “Just making a correction.”

(I assume he was fixing a spelling error or something similar. When it’s time for the moms to visit, I show them over to the papers. One mom laughs.)

Me: “What’s up?”

Mother: “This is hilarious. It’s so him to do something like this!”

(I see that she was looking at the boy’s paper. I see what he wrote.)

Crossed Out: “Mom, I love you more than chicken. You are awesome because you can make all the chicken I want.”

Correction: “I just found out how to make chicken. You’re good, too.”


Alien Meat

| Birmingham, England, UK | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(Donner kebab is a greasy take away food similar to shawarma. This child is autistic and means everything he says with no humour intended.)

Child: “Miss, I need to talk to you.”

Me: “Okay, what is it?”

Child: “Not in front of him.” *points at the child I’m with*

Me: “That’s fine; we’ll move.” *we go into another room*

Child: *in a loud whisper* “I think I’m an alien.”

Me: “Right… and why do you think that?”

Child: “Because I’ve got green poo so I must be an alien.”

Me: “Oooookay… what have you eaten recently? Sometimes things we eat can do funny things to our poo. Have you eaten lots of green vegetables?”

Child: “I had kebab for dinner and then had it cold for breakfast.”

Me: “Yeah, I think that’s probably it. I definitely don’t think you’re an alien though. I think it was the kebab.”


The Ice-Cream & Brownie Section Is Especially Large

| USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, Students

(For an assignment we have to design food pyramids using animals from our neighborhood. Since the wildest animal that’s ever been seen in our neighborhood is a coyote, that’s what most people pick for the top of their food chain… But my friend has a different idea.)

Teacher: “I really like your food chains. Except I’m not loving this one…”

(She reveals a pyramid where a picture of her is pasted at the top.)

Me: *to friend* “Yours?”

Friend: “Of course!”

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