Category: Family & Kids

Jailhouse School Of Rock

| USA | Family & Kids

(I’m riding in the car with several of my family members. We’re on our way to drop my older brother off at school. My young sister who is around eight is sitting next to him. We don’t want to pass the school, so everyone is keeping an eye out.)

Sister: “Is this [Brother]’s school?”

Mom: *looks at building* “That’s a jail…”

Brother: “Yep, it’s my school.”

Sadly Beer-leavable

| Albany, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Field Trip, Food & Drink

(I’m a counselor at a local summer day camp. I hate coffee, and so on occasion bring in a can of whatever energy drink is available at the corner store.)

Camper: “Ms. [My Name], what are you drinking?”

Me: “It’s like coffee, but it tastes like soda.”

Camper: “Oh! I thought it was a beer.”

Me: “Why would you think I’m drinking a beer at 7:45 in the morning?”

Camper: “My dad does!”

Can’t Catch You Red (Handed)

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Popular, Teachers

(I attend a very expensive private school with a strict dress code. I also come from a family with a very rare gene mutation: every second generation has red hair, no exceptions. Since I take after my father, who’s Japanese, with the exception of my hair, I get a few odd looks but it’s typically ignored. Today goes a bit differently when a substitute walks into my class.)

Teacher: “[My Name], may I speak with you in the hall?”

Me: *surprised* “Uh… sure.”

Teacher: “You’re breaking the dress code.”

Me: “No, I’m not. I’m wearing my uniform.”

Teacher: “The dress code says “no unnatural hair colours.” I’ll let you off with a warning this time but if you don’t change your hair by tomorrow you will get detention.”

(I’m surprised by this because my hair colour, while definitely not black, is nowhere near unnatural.)

Me: “This is my real hair colour.”

Teacher: “No, it’s not; you’re obviously Asian.”

Me: “I’m half Japanese but I’m also half Irish and get my hair from my maternal grandfather.”

Teacher: “You’re lying. Everyone knows it’s impossible to have red hair unless both parents have it.”

Me: “It’s rare but it happens.”

Teacher: “Prove it.”

(Because I get this a lot, I showed her a photo I took of my DNA test results that showed the exact gene responsible for this and a detailed explanation of how it works. The sub was left speechless and didn’t bother me for the rest of the week.)

Failed The Math

| IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Popular

(I am about to start my first year of college, and have signed up for a first-year seminar on the Swiss mathematician Euler and his work. I find out at the same time that only six other people are in the class. This was the discussion I had with my mom after finding out.)

Me: “Hmm, I wonder if I’ll be the only girl. At least, the class will be mostly guys. Not a lot of girls like math.”

Mom: “[My Name], think about what you just said.”

Me: “What? I mean, it’s not that I think girls can’t do math. They just don’t very often. You know I’m the nerdy exception.”

Mom: “[My Name]. For being so smart, sometimes you can be really stupid.”

(Key detail: the college I’m about to begin attending is a women’s college.)

Burning Through Your Equality Lessons

| Germany | Family & Kids

(I am doing an internship in a local kindergarten. This kindergarten is taking equality and multicultural learning very seriously. The children come from all across the world, so of course some feature darker skin as well. One afternoon, I am dressing all the naked dolls with the help of a Caucasian four-year-old. One of the dolls has dark skin, too.)

Girl: “Okay, now we’ll take the brown sunburnt baby.”

(I was in shock for a few seconds, not knowing how to react. I tried hard not to burst into laughter.)

Me: “Is this what you children always call this doll?”

Girl: “Yes.” *smiles and hums as she chooses the clothes with the doll in her arms*