Category: Family & Kids

Phoning In Your Day’s Work

| USA | Family & Kids, Politics

(I work for a small daycare. Because I don’t wear a watch, I tend to carry my phone around in my back pocket to keep track of the time, as we have to sign the kids in and out on a clipboard. My phone is smaller than the more popular phones that are owned by others. The four-year-olds are fascinated by it, especially by the fact that it has physical buttons and no touch screen. The weather has been hot this week, and my warm-weather clothing tends to have no pockets, so I set the phone down next to the clipboard when we go outside. I am watching a pair of troublemakers across the playground when I hear the faint ringing of an outgoing call. Looking to my right, I see a child with a guilty look on his face and my active phone in his hand. He had hit the right combination of buttons to not only access my contact list, but to call them on speaker-phone!)

Me: *grabbing phone* “[Child #1]! Who did you call?”

(I panic briefly, wondering who on my contact list would not find it funny to get a phone call from a naughty four-year-old. But then I hear a familiar voice.)

Coworker: “[Daycare]. This is [Coworker] speaking.”

Me: “Hey, [Coworker]. This is [My Name] out on the playground. [Child #1] is messing with my phone.”

Coworker: *laughing* “Okay.” *hangs up*

(Today is more of the same: out on the playground, phone on the bench, no pockets. [Child #2] picks up my phone.)

Child #2: “Is this your phone? It’s small.”

Me: “Yes. Please don’t call the front desk, like [Child #1] did yesterday.”

(Child #2 gives me a mischievous, toothless grin.)

Child #2: “I AM gonna call someone! I’m gonna call Donald Trump!”

Me: “Don’t call Donald Trump; that sounds expensive!”

(Little bugger took off across the playground with my phone. When I got it back, there were several random photos in the camera section. I am sewing pockets into every article of clothing that I own.)

Your Father Was Lost In Translation

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Teachers

(We’re in Spanish class, taught by a teacher who generally isn’t very competent. The classmate in this story is often harassed by the teacher for goofing off, but is honest in this story.)

Teacher: “[Classmate], ¿Cómo esta tu padre?” *How is your father?*

Classmate: “[Teacher], I don’t have a dad.”

Teacher: *looks at classmate skeptically* “Yes, you do.”

Classmate: “No, I don’t.”

Teacher: “Who do you live with, then?”

Classmate: “My mom.”

Teacher: “Are you sure?”

Classmate: “Yes, [Teacher].”

Teacher: “Make something up, then; pretend you have a dad.”

Royal Colors

| USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

(My aunt is teaching a group of small children, talking to them about Disney princesses.)

Aunt: “I rather like Belle. Which one is your favorite?”

Little Girl: “I like Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella. I don’t like Tiana.”

Aunt: “Why not?”

Little Girl: “I just don’t like her color.”

Aunt: *feeling uncomfortable* “Um, why not? I think she is very pretty.”

Little Girl: “Yes, but I really don’t like green. I like blue and pink.”

Aunt: “Oh. Well, that’s fine, then!”

And The Frozen Glass Slippers Too!

| FL, USA | Family & Kids

(Before reading a story to my class of three year olds, I remind the kids to have “watching eyes” to see the pictures, “listening ears” to hear the story, and to sit still with “frozen” hands and feet. One little girl protested.)

Little Girl: “No! I wanna have Cinderella feet!”

Jailhouse School Of Rock

| USA | Family & Kids

(I’m riding in the car with several of my family members. We’re on our way to drop my older brother off at school. My young sister who is around eight is sitting next to him. We don’t want to pass the school, so everyone is keeping an eye out.)

Sister: “Is this [Brother]’s school?”

Mom: *looks at building* “That’s a jail…”

Brother: “Yep, it’s my school.”