Category: Family & Kids

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Never Too Chicken To Love Your Mother

| Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(It’s Mother’s Day and my second grade class is having an event where they can invite their moms to the class for a party. They did an activity earlier where they had to write a paper about what they like about their mothers. I left all the papers out on a table for the moms to see. I see one of my students run over to the table, find his paper, and write something on it.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Boy: “Just making a correction.”

(I assume he was fixing a spelling error or something similar. When it’s time for the moms to visit, I show them over to the papers. One mom laughs.)

Me: “What’s up?”

Mother: “This is hilarious. It’s so him to do something like this!”

(I see that she was looking at the boy’s paper. I see what he wrote.)

Crossed Out: “Mom, I love you more than chicken. You are awesome because you can make all the chicken I want.”

Correction: “I just found out how to make chicken. You’re good, too.”

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Your Vocabulary Is Far From Wretched

| NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

(When I was three, one winter I forgot my coat when I go to preschool. It is a bit chilly outside, and the caretakers don’t want to let me go outside without some kind of covering, so they offer me a borrowed sweater.)

Three-Year-Old Me: “I don’t want the wretched sweater!”

(It took them a while to figure out that I was saying “wretched,” since they didn’t expect that to be in a toddler’s vocabulary!)

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The Election Appealed To Third Graders

| Jamaica, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Politics

(I teach a class of third-grade autistic students. This morning, apropos of nothing, they came out with this.)

Student #1: “My mom is voting for Mary Clinton, because Trump is craaaazy!”

Student #2: “Well, I’m voting for Donald Trump 2016!”

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Trying Not To ‘Baby’ Them

| Canada | Family & Kids

(I teach in an area with a high population of relatively conservative families. As such, large numbers of students don’t know where babies come from, but some do. I’m reading the story of the Nativity story to them, which shows Mary having a round belly, followed by a picture of her holding baby Jesus.)

Student #1: “She’s fat!”

(I should note that some of students are told by their parents that women get fat, and then they go to the doctor, who gives them a baby.)

Student #2: “No, she’s pregnant!”

Student #3: “How could she have a baby without a doctor there?”

Me: “Sometimes, if the mom and the baby are both healthy, you can manage without a doctor.”

Student #4: “But how does it get out?”

Student #5: “They cut a hole!” *mimes slashing his own belly with a knife*

Student #6: “No, it comes out of the back hole!”

(At this point, I was just frantically trying to come up with something that would steer the conversation in another direction, which is hard to do when you’re also trying to avoid laughing hysterically.)

Me: “I’m not going to talk about it because your parents have told you all different things. Hey, look at the shepherds!”

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O Dear

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Family & Kids, Students

(Our biology teacher has finished explaining how your parents determine your blood type and given examples when a student in the back raises his hand.)

Student: “My parents both have type ‘O’ blood and my blood type is ‘AB.'”

(Our teacher gets a horrified look on her face. The student grins and says:)

Student: “I’m adopted.”

(The teacher let out a sigh of relief.)