Category: Family & Kids

Extra Credit For Using Common Sense

| USA | Family & Kids, Students

(I’m taking a science lab. Student #1 is what is referred to as a non-traditional student at the college. She’s middle-aged and has a small child. Student #2 is a rather obnoxious know it all (who really doesn’t know it all). Our lab is at three to five pm, but one night at around nine pm there is a guest presentation offered for the entire college. If we go, our professor gives us extra credit. I go and see Student #1, who has her daughter in tow. The little girl sits still the entire time and happily colors. She’s not a distraction at all. The next day is our lab and when I get to the room, Student #2 is already there.)

Student #2: “I saw you at the lecture.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, I liked it a lot.”

Student #2: “Did you see [Student #1]? Can you believe she brought a kid?”

Me: *taken aback* “…yes?”

(A reasonable person would have realized her daughter’s caregiver during our lab time wasn’t available during the lecture.)

An Inappropriate Definition

| ID, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

(I work at a preschool/daycare. A particular six-year-old boy has slightly more trouble understanding boundaries than other six-year-olds, and is constantly grabbing things that do not belong to him and touching people who don’t want to be touched. On this day, he’s been trying to reach into my pockets to grab my car keys and phone.)

Me: “Will you please stop grabbing things out of my pockets?”

Boy: “Why?”

Me: “Because I don’t want you touching my things without permission. It’s inappropriate.”

Boy: *shocked* “Inappropriate?! THAT MEANS SEXY!”

(I had to try hard not to laugh before explaining to him that the word “inappropriate” has more than one meaning.)

Everyone Wears The Pants In Your Household

| NJ, USA | Art/Design, Family & Kids

(Our teacher has us draw our families. I live with parents, grandparents, and aunt and uncle’s family, in the same house. Our hairstyles are modern but kept the ancient tradition of both male and female hair being long and adult males growing beard. I’m female. What I draw reflects that and I give everyone pants, too.)

Teacher: “That’s very interesting. Which ones are your parents?”

(I point.)

Teacher: “Do you have siblings?”

(I point to my 11-year-old sister and 14-year-old brother.)

Teacher: “Oh, you have two older sisters.”

(I point to my brother.)

Me: “My brother. He’s too young for beard.”

Teacher: “Very interesting. Who’s the one with no hair?”

Me: “My grandma. She is sick.” *I later learned it was cancer*

Teacher: “Sorry to hear that. Who are the others?”

(I point to my aunt and uncle and cousins, explaining.)

Teacher: “Wait, this one is your male cousin? I thought that was a woman again.”

Me: “Yes, he’s 23 but didn’t grow his beard yet.”

Teacher: “Your family is really interesting. Maybe give the women and girls dresses. Then we can tell.”

Me: “But we don’t wear any.”

Teacher: “Never?”

Me: “Unless it’s a big party.”

Teacher: “I like your family. They’re interesting.”

Sorry A Hundred Times

| Canada | Family & Kids

(A kid comes up to me.)

Kid: “[My Name], are you 100?”

Me: “Go home and tell your parents what you said and then come back to me.”

(I see the kid the next day.)

Me: “What did your parents say?”

Kid: “To say sorry.”

Thankful That The Kindergartners Don’t Cook

| Louisville, KY, USA | Family & Kids, Holidays

(Every year, my grade school asks the kindergarteners for recipes for turkey. They print the best ones in the parent newsletter for Thanksgiving weekend:)

Kindergartener #1: “Go out into the woods and find a turkey. Bring it home, add salt and pepper, and cook for ten minutes at ten degrees.”

Kindergartener #2: “Stuff a turkey with ketchup. Put it in the oven at 300 degrees for two minutes.”

Kindergartener #3: “Buy a turkey. Put bread in it. Cook at 4000 degrees for three hours.”

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