Category: Exams/Tests

Only Getting A Middle(Earth) Grade

| Germany | Cheaters, Exams/Tests

(After getting back the results of an exam, a classmate — who is already infamous for cheating — asks our teacher to come to his desk. They talk privately but since most of the other students already know what the topic of the conversation will be, they stay quiet and listen.)

Student #1: “Mrs. [Teacher], why did I get an ‘F’ on my exam? I’m pretty sure I should have at least a ‘C’ or a ‘B’!”

Teacher: “Why do you think that?”

Student #1: “Well, because… I learned together with [Student #2] for the exam and he has a ‘B.’ If his answers are right, mine should be, too!”

Student #2: *loudly from behind* “Nonsense! We didn’t learn together! You copied my answers!”

Student #1: “Well, then shouldn’t I have the same grade as you?”

Student #3: *laughing* “Not if he lets you copy his answers, then erases them and writes down the right answers while you are writing.”

Teacher: “Yep, [Classmate] is right! By the way: Santa Claus did not lead the first North Pole expedition, and its territory is not divided between Gondor, Mordor, Valinor, Numenor, and Fartland. At least try reading what you copy!”

I Could Pass This Test In My Sleep

| VA, USA | Exams/Tests

(One of the professors at my brother’s college has a thing where when he grades the tests, he takes the highest grade of the class, calculates how many they got wrong, then adds that number of points to everyone’s tests. If the highest score is 95% then everyone else gets 5 points added to their grade. In one instance before the test the professor had a big review of all the material but my brother was asleep at his desk.)

Professor: “This is why you shouldn’t sleep in class; that kid won’t know that this will be on the test.”

(A little while later.)

Professor: “That sleeping kid won’t know how to do this type of problem.”

(A little while later.)

Professor: “The sleeping kid won’t get a good grade on the test because he’s slacking off like that.”

(After all the tests were done and graded the professor is discussing them as he hands them back.)

Professor: “The average grade was a B- and I have to apologize. You know the sleeping kid who I said wouldn’t do well on the test? He got the highest score out of the whole class, 100%, so nobody gets any extra points.”

Class: *groans*

They Have The Answer They Just Can’t Put Their Foot On It

| Toronto ON, Canada | Awesome, Exams/Tests, Teachers

(I am in sixth grade history. We have been discussing aboriginal history and culture. I see a new word I’m unfamiliar with so I ask the teacher.)

Me: “Ms. [Name]!”

Teacher: “Yes?”

Me: “What are moccasins?”

Teacher: “They’re shoes made from animal hides. They’re really comfortable; I have a pair that I wear at home as slippers.”

(At the end of the unit, the class plays a trivia game.)

Teacher: “Okay, [My Name], it’s your team’s turn to pick a question. Would you like an easy, medium, or hard question?”

Me: “Hard.”

Teacher: “What are moccasins: a. A type of aboriginal footwear; b. Earrings; c. Ms. [Teacher]’s slippers; or d. Both A and C?”

Me: “D!”

Opponent: “A!”

Teacher: “[My Name] is correct. Team Two gets the points.”

(The rest of my team cheered and we ended up winning.)

Must Have Been Studying Relativity

| CA, USA | Exams/Tests, Time

(While I was working in the tutoring/study center of my college, at the sign-out desk:)

Customer: *handing me his card* “Aw, yeah! I studied for hours! Must have broken study records! Yeah!”

(He goes on like this as I sign him out and doesn’t slow down after, all the way out the door. My screen shows the duration of his visit.)

Me: *to my coworker* “He was here for 20 minutes…”

Zero Attempt At Hiding The Bad Grade

| GA, USA | Exams/Tests

(I have to make-up a quiz I missed in class that has two questions and is pass-fail. About a week later I see my grade hasn’t changed.)

Me: “Dr. [Teacher], have you put in my grade for the quiz I made up?”

Teacher: “Yes, I have.”

Me: “But it still says I still have a zero for it.”

Teacher: “Like I said, I’ve already put the grade in for the quiz.”

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