Category: Books & Reading


A Shakespearean Freudian Slip

| IL, USA | Books & Reading, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(We are in ninth grade English, reading Romeo and Juliet. Each character is assigned to a student. This teacher also runs the theater program, so he has a prop closet in his classroom.)

Boy #1: “Draw thy tool! Here comes of the house of Montagues.”

Boy #2: “My naked weapon is out. Quarrel! I will back thee.”

(There are assorted snorts and giggles, and the teacher explains that this simply means he has drawn his sword. We manage to calm down and move on, until some time later…)

Teacher: “Time for a demonstration! Let me go get out my sword!” *disappears into the prop closet*

(We laughed uncontrollably for a good couple of minutes.)


Hamlet From The Hood, Yo

| Books & Reading, Language & Words

(We’re getting ready to start Hamlet in English class.)

Teacher: “Before we start reading, I really want to emphasize paying attention to the punctuation. When I used to teach Romeo and Juliet, people would read the line ‘Bring me my sword. Ho!’ as ‘Bring me my sword, Ho.’”


Should Go (Paper)Back To School

| Portland, OR, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid

(My friend sits next to an annoying and not very bright girl in language arts. He is also currently reading Popular Book by Author, and his copy happens to be paperback.)

Girl: “Wow, you’re reading [Popular Book]? That’s a really big copy, too. You know, I have a hardback copy at home if you want to borrow it. It’s smaller than that one. That way you won’t have to read as many pages!”

Friend: “…”


No Upside To Being Down

| Australia | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid

(This is a high level math class in high school. The teacher just assigned us some problems to figure out and solve on our own. We have been working a few minutes when my friend speaks up.)

Friend: “I don’t get this.”

(The teacher glances up nonchalantly going back to her own book as she looked back down.)

Teacher: “Your book is upside down.”

(My friend, looking very embarrassed turns the book around. Looking at it for a few more seconds:)

Friend: “I still don’t get it.”


Where The Wild Artistic License Are

| NY, USA | Books & Reading, Parents

(It’s near the end of the day and the remnants of my class have just come in from the playground. Everyone is hot and tired so we settle the kids in quiet area with me for story reading. A three-year-old brings me a copy of “Where The Wild Things Are”.)

Kid: “Miss [My Name], can you read ‘Max Doesn’t Listen To His Mommy’?”

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