Category: Books & Reading

That Actually Makes More Sense Than The Book

| OR, USA | Books & Reading, Health & Body

(We are discussing colorblindness in science class. A student, not knowing any better, asks this.)

Student: “So, is this what Fifty Shades of Gray is about?”

Class: *bursts into laughter*

(He truly didn’t know what it’s about.)

Pixar’s Latest Project

| El Paso, TX, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(My mother works as a librarian at an elementary/middle school. She has a large amount of busy work to do lately, so I volunteer my free time to help her. I am working at the front desk next to my mother when I overhear this conversation with a student who looks about ten years old.)

Student: “Excuse me, do you have any Toy Story books?”

Mom:Toy Story? No, I’m sorry. I don’t have any Toy Story books.”

Student: “Are you sure? It seems strange that you wouldn’t.”

Mom: “I’m sure, honey. I don’t have books about that.”

Student: “It’s just that it’s supposed to be really important.”

(At this point, my mom gets up to help him look and find something else to read. I figure it’s just a kid more interested in cartoons than regular books, but then it occurs to me…)

Mom: *coming back* “Sorry we couldn’t find it. Something must have happened to my copy.” *Student leaves*

Me: “Wait, was he saying Tolstoy?”

Mom: “Yeah.”

Me: “Like, Leo Tolstoy? War and Peace Tolstoy?!

Mom: “Yep, apparently he’d been reading it on his phone during summer break and now wanted a physical copy for school.”

Me: *stunned*

They Shouldn’t Be Talking About It

| USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV

(A teacher at my high school has a “wall of stupid” where she displays stupid things people have said in her classroom. Some of her former students are talking to her, looking at the wall.)

Quote on Wall:Fight Club is a book?”

Student #1: *in response to quote* “Yeah, Brad Pitt is in it!”

(Not two minutes later, after Student #1 realizes what she said:)

Student #1: “Is Tom Cruise in the book?”

A Shakespearean Freudian Slip

| IL, USA | Books & Reading, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(We are in ninth grade English, reading Romeo and Juliet. Each character is assigned to a student. This teacher also runs the theater program, so he has a prop closet in his classroom.)

Boy #1: “Draw thy tool! Here comes of the house of Montagues.”

Boy #2: “My naked weapon is out. Quarrel! I will back thee.”

(There are assorted snorts and giggles, and the teacher explains that this simply means he has drawn his sword. We manage to calm down and move on, until some time later…)

Teacher: “Time for a demonstration! Let me go get out my sword!” *disappears into the prop closet*

(We laughed uncontrollably for a good couple of minutes.)

Hamlet From The Hood, Yo

| Books & Reading, Language & Words

(We’re getting ready to start Hamlet in English class.)

Teacher: “Before we start reading, I really want to emphasize paying attention to the punctuation. When I used to teach Romeo and Juliet, people would read the line ‘Bring me my sword. Ho!’ as ‘Bring me my sword, Ho.’”

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