Category: Books & Reading

The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 15

| USA | Books & Reading, Math & Science, Movies & TV

(We are doing a new unit on circles and ellipses in pre-calc.)

Teacher: “Now that we’re done with circles, let’s move on to ellipses!”

Student: *mishearing the teacher* “Eclipse? Like… Twilight?”

Related:
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 14
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 13
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 12

The Great Gat-ski

| CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Books & Reading, Politics, Teachers

(In my English class, we’re reading The Great Gatsby. We’ve just finished reading one chapter that mentions a character, Tom, riding a horse.)

Teacher: “Personally, I find that scene a lot better if you picture Tom riding the horse while shirtless and looking like Vladimir Putin.”

Jane Eurgh

| ON, Canada | Books & Reading, Funny Names

(We are doing review for an upcoming exam for literature class. We list and describe various characters from the books we’ve read while the professor writes them on the whiteboard.)

Professor: “All right, name me some characters from Jane Eyre, besides the obvious.”

Student #1: *dramatically* “Mr. Rochester!”

Professor: “Very good, [Student #1]. I like how you called him Rocky in the last quiz.”

Student #2: *to Student #1* “You called Mr. Rochester ‘Rocky’ on the quiz?”

Student #1: “Rochy, Rocky, whatever. I got tired of writing his name so many times.”

Professor: “All right, what other characters do we have?”

Student #3: “Mr. Brocklehurst.”

Student #1: “More like Mr. Broccoli.”

Student #4: “Broccoli-hurst.”

Student #2: “I just like calling him The Worst.”

Student #1: “Broccoli-Worst!”

A Canterbury Tale To Remember

| USA | Awesome, Books & Reading, Rude & Risque, Teachers

(English 100 is kind of notorious at my school because they require everyone to learn the opening prologue to The Canterbury Tales and recite it for your professor. No one in my class is excited about the idea. The first day of class rolls around; none of us have met our professor yet. All we know is that he’s been teaching at College for many years.)

Professor: *walks into class after we’re all seated* “Good morning!”

(This man looks to be around 65-70 years old, has snow-white hair, and is wearing a tweed suit with an actual waistcoat and a pocket watch. He is adorable!)

Professor: “I know you are all eager to dive into The Canterbury Tales, and yes, the rumors are true; most of the tales contained therein are a little bit dirty.” *pulls out a copy of the book and puts on a pair of spectacles, with wire rims and everything, then bellows* “Whan that aprill with his shoures soote; The droghte of march hath perced to the roote…”

(He read the entire prologue in Old English, with a voice that sounded like the narrator from Winnie the Pooh!)

Me: *leaning over to my friend beside me* “I’m going to love this class.”

(We spent the rest of the semester enthralled while he alternated between reading the different tales to us in his narrator voice, and talking about how much his wife liked the TV show “Snapped” and how we should check on him if he ever missed a class.)

Making A Class Of Vegetarians

| VA, USA | Books & Reading, Food & Drink, History

(I am teaching my eleventh grade history class about the Progressive Movement. As part of the unit, I have them read an excerpt from Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle. I have two unusually rowdy, but good classes. Everything has gone smoothly up until this point.)

Me: “While you are reading, pay attention to details.”

Student #1: “This is disgusting. How can people do this?”

Student #2: “Did people really eat this?”

Me: “Oh, sure. There was even an episode of [Popular Forensics Show] that displayed the results of non-Kosher killing methods. Some parts are not good for humans to eat.”

Student #3: “So is this now… or… like… a long time ago?”

Me: “This is during the late 1800s. This is when there were no government regulations. I…” *suddenly stops, wide-eyed in shock* “Uh oh…”

Student #4: “What? What’s wrong?!”

Me: “I forgot to tell that to first block…”

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