(I am covering for a sick teacher. I normally teach special-ed but she teaches grade one. As I’m sitting at my desk, a kid shuffles over to me.)
Kid: “Mrs. [My Name]?”
Kid: “I have a Lego stuck up my nose. Can you help me?”
Me: *startled* “Why did you put a Lego up your nose?”
Kid: “I wanted to see if it fit!”
(We’ve had problems at this school where parents freak out if we touch their kids so we aren’t allowed to even let them sit on our laps. Keep in mind, kids in grade one are six to seven years old, and they’re kind of touchy-feely so it’s quite a task. We can’t touch them but have to be careful to make sure they aren’t upset about it. I had to verbally guide the kid on how to get the Lego out of his nose. Luckily, he got it out before I had to call paramedics.)
My high school job is shelving books in a library. It is a great job, good pay, wonderful coworkers, and flexible hours. They also have a relaxed dress code, which is basically the same as the local school system’s. That’s actually how they described it to newcomers: anything they can wear to school, they can wear to work at the library.
At another branch, the students started regularly wearing torn jeans to work. The main office saw this and thought it looked trashy, so they made a rule: no more jeans. Every other kind of pants were fine, even sweatpants, but no jeans.
So of course, now I can wear a pair of torn khakis with holes in the knees, according to the rules, but a nice, new pair of intact jeans are not allowed. I don’t think banning jeans in itself is a stupid and unreasonable move, but if they had a problem with the condition of them, it makes more sense to ban any pants in bad condition.
(This takes place in my eighth grade health class. One of my friends, who is generally a pretty quiet and shy kid, happens to be in the same hour as me. Our teacher begins a discussion on healthy diets.)
Teacher: “So, what kinds of things do you drink on a daily basis?”
Friend: *quietly whispers* “The blood of my enemies.”
(The entire class heard him, including the teacher, and about half the class broke out laughing.)
(In my math class, I sit directly in front of my teacher who has a stash of blank paper, given out to students who have run out of space in their book. I am one of those students.)
Teacher: *throws wireless mouse across room* “Remote!”
(The mouse crashes onto the ground and breaks apart. The class looks at the noise and stops what they’re doing.)
Teacher: “THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ASK FOR PAPER!”
(Everyone in the room is done with their assignments and relaxing. Student #1 has his phone out when he starts making moans that sound really Freudian in nature such as “Oh, yeah,” “Ahh…” and then this happens:)
Student #2: *gets up and walks behind him…* “[Student #1]… is that My Little Pony?”