Category: Bizarre/Silly

Banana-Drama

| FL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Physical

(I missed the beginning of the conversation, but Student #1 is talking about hitting Student #2.)

Me: “Let’s not talk about hitting anyone.”

Student #2: “Yeah, that’s assault.”

Student #1: “It’s not assault; it’s a promise.”

Me: “Wait, so you take ‘It’s not a threat; it’s a promise,’ which already doesn’t make sense, and turn it into something that makes even LESS sense?”

Student #1: “It doesn’t have to make sense as long as someone is getting hit with a banana!”

(I cracked up and wrote on the board, “Quote of the day: It doesn’t have to make sense as long as someone is getting hit with a banana.” I’m leaving it up there for the other classes wonder about the context.)

Medicare Now Covers Scarecrows

| LA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Health & Body

(My American Government professor is a really funny guy, and he uses modern examples to explain certain topics. Currently, he is describing Medicare as a good point of having a federal government. He has gotten somewhat off-topic about it, and is discussing what might one do if a bone breaks while working on a farm.)

Professor: “Now, say that the arm breaks like this. What would happen? What would you do?”

(He moves his arm as to where he forms an L-shape with his hand pointing downwards. Various students answer his questions. He then decides on one more question.)

Professor: *still holding his arm in the same position* “Now what kind of job would you expect to do if your arm was like this?”

Me: “Scarecrow!”

(The professor and a few students started laughing.)

Now We’re Dying To Know

| San Jose, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Students, Teachers

(I am walking back from the bathroom to my history class.)

Teacher: *shouts at class* “What do we like?”

Class: “MURDER!”

Me: *looks at Teacher with WTF face*

Teacher: “Wait, the door’s open. Be quieter next time.”

Student: *to me* “You saw nothing…”

Me: “…”

Laissez-Faire Translations

| GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Language & Words, Teachers

(It’s the first day of economics class, and my teacher begins by telling us about some of the topics we will cover over the course of the semester.)

Teacher: “…and we’ll be learning about laissez-faire capitalism, which is Latin for ‘let the buyer beware.’”

Me: *in my head* “Okay, stop listening to anything he has to say and just read the textbook.”

These Students Are Hungry For Knowledge And Pickles

| Houston, TX, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Students

(I teach math to eighth graders. Since the material covered can be difficult at times I have decided to make a question box for the class. If they don’t understand something, the students can write down their questions and leave them in the box, I will answer the questions during the next lesson. Sometimes it works… Sometimes I get questions like these.)

Student #1: “How many feathers does a turkey have?”

Student #2: “What flavor of ice cream takes the longest to melt?”

Student #3: *beside a drawing of a tree* “How good is this?”

Student #4: “What is the meaning of life?”

Student #5: “How many pickles can fit in an airplane?”

(I actually tried to answer these questions the best I could.)

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