Category: Bizarre/Silly

Wish You’d Caught This On Tape

| USA | Bizarre/Silly, Staff

(My teacher wants a couple students to hang some fliers around school, so we go to the library and ask to borrow the tape. The librarians don’t want to give us the tape in its big plastic dispenser because apparently it’s too valuable, so they attempt to take the tape out first…)

Librarians: “Almost got it!”

(We waited at the desk for ten minutes before they gave up.)

Not Going To Cheer That One On

| NY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Rude & Risque

(We are learning about stereotypes for stories and how they impact our perspective on the story.)

Teacher: “What are some stereotypical ways you can describe a cheerleader.”

Me: “They are ditzy.”

Teacher: “Okay, they are ditzy dumb chicks. What else.”

Random Student: “THEY GET BANGED BY FOOTBALL PLAYERS!”

(Whole class goes silent.)

Teacher: “I will just the leave the class, if you don’t mind…”

Time To Hit The Bar Bar

| UT, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Language & Words, Teachers

(The professor is going over a few basic notations in statistics class, and is now talking about different averages with which to measure normality.)

Professor: “The regular notation would be ‘y bar dot dot,’ but you see I’m old, and back when we used blackboards you couldn’t always tell the difference between a dot and dirt on the blackboard, so I’m using two bars. So we have ‘y bar bar dot dot.'”

(He continues writing, then turns around.)

Professor: “I quite like it this way because it shows I’m averaging over averages. If I would average that it would be ‘y bar bar bar dot dot dot.’ I could even go with five and more, having ‘y bar bar bar bar bar.'”

Me: “Now he starts sounding like a sheep.”

Friend: “That’s because he’s from New Zealand.”

Kiss Boring Announcements Goodbye

| TX, USA | Awesome, Bizarre/Silly, Teachers

(It is the first week of the school year. We have a new principal, who tends to be pretty funny. One day, over the announcements…)

Principal: *after giving pledge* “Today is Thursday. It is also Kiss and Make Up Day. We all make mistakes, so set things right by giving your loved one a kiss. Just don’t do it at school. Or with your cousin. Have a nice day!”

Me: “…what?”

(Best principal ever. And it’s only been four days!)

A Needling Problem

| USA | Bizarre/Silly, Health & Body, Students

(My home-ec teacher told us about a student she had. This takes place during the sewing unit, in which we use machines.)

Student: “Ms. [Teacher]? Can you come over here?”

Teacher: “Sure, what’s going on?”

Student: *extremely calmly* “There’s a needle in my finger.”

(Best way to teach us to be careful.)

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