Category: Bizarre/Silly

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At Least They Got Out Of Their Shell

| GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Pets & Animals, Students

(I go to an animal studies university. The teacher is talking to us about a visitor coming in later that week.)

Teacher: “A friend of mine will be coming in on Tuesday to teach us about turtle extraction devices.”

Student: “Um… Um…”

Teacher: “Yes, [Student]?”

Student: “Yeah, so how do turtles die?”

Teacher: “Well, they can suffocate on shrimp fishing nets, or get caught in them.”

Student: “But… but… But what about the shells.”

Teacher: “They can still die.”

Student: *now obviously worked up* “BUT THE SHELLS! THE SHELLS!”

(I kid you not, this kid runs out of the class, screaming.)

Student: “THE SHELLS!”

Class: *blank stares*

Teacher: “This is why we can’t have nice things.” *shakes head slowly*

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Will Have To Make It Up Later

| AR, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Family & Kids

(On Fridays, our band director usually allows free days for the music class. Today, however, he has invited a class of second graders over for the next twenty minutes or so. Let it be noted that I am female, and don’t usually wear makeup. Today, though, I chose to wear my ‘dark look.’ It’s just black makeup and my hair all to one side, since my resting facial expression allows me to pull this off. Of course, with second graders, they are awfully nosy. There is no exception with this particular girl.)

Second-Grade Girl: “Why are you wearing makeup?”

Me: “Why aren’t you?”

(There is a brief silence from the other girls in my class, until one with a better-than-thou attitude tries to butt in.)

Girl #1: “Oh, my God, [My Name], I can’t believe you said that to a little kid!”

(The band director pulled me aside and talked to me about it, but the expression on everybody’s face when I said that made it all worth it!)

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Not Presentation And Correct

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre/Silly, Teachers

(I’m in a third year sociology class, giving a group presentation. I’m also, like most of the class, not a sociology student as the class is mandatory for another, somewhat unrelated, degree. The teacher picked our utterly ridiculous topic of ‘how globalisation has affected craftwork development’ and we’ve made the best of it. I present first, introducing the history of it with a somewhat improvised and note-free speech. The next presenter gets up to speak on how it’s been enhanced, using her word-for-word prepared speech.)

Student #1: “Globalisation has allowed the increasing use—”

Teacher: “Stop right there. Look up at me, not your notes while talking.” *bemused, she does so* “Now go.”

Student #1: *goes back to reading speech* “Globa—”

Teacher: “No, look up. Okay, now tell me what you’ve just said without looking at your notes.”

(My co-presenter stumbles through a summary of her speech so far and is allowed to continue, taking twice as long because she has to find her spot again.)

Teacher: “You have to think like you’re at an international conference presenting this.” *starts banging on the table* “They do this when they approve.”

(She continues banging on the table for the rest of the presentation whenever someone says something she agrees with. Student #1 finishes and the other presenter gets up. He takes a seat by the computer.)

Teacher: “No, stand in front of the screen.”

Student #2: “But I have to change the slides. The others don’t know when to change them.”

(The teacher grumbles but allows it. Student #2 delivers his somewhat dry, word-for-word prepared speech on how craftwork has been ruined by globalisation, using his own experience as a blacksmith. He gets through with only minor interruptions asking for him to summarise what he just said (like Student #1), until:)

Teacher: “Stop! Look at the pictures.” *we all look at his current slide, a bunch of random but related pictures* “Do you see what you’ve done?”

Student #2: “Um… no?”

Teacher: “Come back here. Come on, come back to the back of the room and look.”

Student #1: *whispers to me, as [Student #2] goes back* “How long was this presentation meant to be again?”

Me: “Thirty minutes.”

Student #1: “And it’s been?”

Me: “Just hit forty now and [Student #2] still has to finish up and I’ve gotta sum everything up after that.”

Student #1: “What’s the bet [Teacher] complains about us taking too long?”

Me: “Not even going to bet.”

(She didn’t complain, thank goodness. She gave us a very good mark despite the issues her constant interruptions caused but was replaced by the uni the following week for a completely unrelated reason. The new teacher actually let the other groups present!)

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Volume Is Indirectly Proportional To Size

| GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Teachers

(My cheer coach teaches ninth grade English and gets really mad at her students, a lot. She’s a tiny person but you can hear her scream down the hallway.)

Other Teacher: “What is that?”

Me: “Pretty sure that’s my cheer coach.”

Teacher: “Seriously?”

Me: “She teaches freshman English.”

Teacher: “Oh, yeah, that makes sense.”

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Don’t Quote Them On It

| Auckland, New Zealand | Bizarre/Silly

(I am walking in the rain, up the school’s front driveway, minding my own business, when a random lady runs up to me holding multicolored cards.)

Random Lady: “Have you got a quote?”

Me: “What?”

Random Lady: “A quote. Do you have one?”

Me: “I’m not sure what you’re talking about?”

Random Lady: “Take a quote.”

(She holds up the cards.)

Me: *taking card* “Uh, thanks?”

(The lady ran off to pester another student. The card was a literal quote to support International Festival Week.)

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