Category: Awesome

It’s The Archimedes Principle Of The Thing

| USA | Awesome, History, Teachers

(My seventh grade Social Studies teacher is known best for two things: his wacky, offbeat sense of humor and his equally wacky ties. He has a gift for getting students interested in learning history, too.)

Teacher: “Okay! Who here knows the story of the first recorded streaker in history?”

(And that is how you get twelve-year-olds interested in Archimedes.)

Given The Technology To Be Fabulous

| Norway | Awesome, Teachers

(It’s the very first lecture. The professor starts by stepping up to the podium, which is on a little stage, and getting out his notes. He’s having some trouble with the microphone.)

Professor: “Can you hear me?” *taps the microphone*

Students: “No, it’s too quiet.”

(This goes back and forth a few times, before some guy steps up to help. The microphone just isn’t working for our professor, as his voice is a little too high pitched to resonate correctly, so he gets a headset.)

Professor: “Oh, I like this! As you can see, my name is [Professor] and I’m NOT a technological genius.”

(Students start to clap, and he bows and curtsies.)

Professor: “This is much better. I was told that if I stand by the podium, I’ll have my shoulder and back to this—“ *gestures to his right* “—part of the room, which admittedly is my best side.” *cue laughter from the students* “But now I can move *he leaps across the stage* “—and turn around—“ *he twirls* “—and generally be more engaging, so this is great!”

(He goes on to talk about what this class is about and such.)

Professor: “I love this subject. I’ve been teaching this since before some of you were even born. 24 years to be exact. Yes, I was five when I started.” *more laughter* “Actually, I was 25; you do the math. Yes, I know it’s hard to believe. I don’t even believe it myself sometimes!”

(We go on with the lecture, in which we talk about a sermon written in 1733, which he describes as a “fire-and-brimstone” sermon.)

Professor: “My lecture sounds very fire-and-brimstone right now. Actually, I would probably be a good fire-and-brimstone evangelist. Except for the fact that I’m gay and an atheist, though.”

(There were a lot of great and funny moments in this lecture. He even went as far as claiming he would be our funniest, craziest and favorite professor. Considering he’s fast-talking, confident, somewhat sassy, and with a good sense of humor and no filter, he definitely is!)

Kiss Boring Announcements Goodbye

| TX, USA | Awesome, Bizarre/Silly, Teachers

(It is the first week of the school year. We have a new principal, who tends to be pretty funny. One day, over the announcements…)

Principal: *after giving pledge* “Today is Thursday. It is also Kiss and Make Up Day. We all make mistakes, so set things right by giving your loved one a kiss. Just don’t do it at school. Or with your cousin. Have a nice day!”

Me: “…what?”

(Best principal ever. And it’s only been four days!)

They Have The Answer They Just Can’t Put Their Foot On It

| Toronto ON, Canada | Awesome, Exams/Tests, Teachers

(I am in sixth grade history. We have been discussing aboriginal history and culture. I see a new word I’m unfamiliar with so I ask the teacher.)

Me: “Ms. [Name]!”

Teacher: “Yes?”

Me: “What are moccasins?”

Teacher: “They’re shoes made from animal hides. They’re really comfortable; I have a pair that I wear at home as slippers.”

(At the end of the unit, the class plays a trivia game.)

Teacher: “Okay, [My Name], it’s your team’s turn to pick a question. Would you like an easy, medium, or hard question?”

Me: “Hard.”

Teacher: “What are moccasins: a. A type of aboriginal footwear; b. Earrings; c. Ms. [Teacher]’s slippers; or d. Both A and C?”

Me: “D!”

Opponent: “A!”

Teacher: “[My Name] is correct. Team Two gets the points.”

(The rest of my team cheered and we ended up winning.)

Meno-Pause Until Recess

| London, England, UK | Awesome, Food & Drink, Staff

(Around year 10/9th grade, I develop a lot of confidence quite dramatically and stop being embarrassed about a lot of things. It sometimes leads to clashes with people who think I should be more embarrassed or apologetic for things I can’t change, such as not understanding a question or, in this case, uncontrollable biological functions.)

Me: *realises during class I’ve just started my period, days early, and therefore have not taken necessary precautions* “Miss, could I go to the toilet, please?”

Teacher: “No, you can wait. There is only 20 minutes left until break.”

Me: “No, seriously, miss, I really need to go to the toilet. I’ll be less than five minutes, I promise.”

Teacher: *sighs and looks at me down her nose* “[My Name], are you a small child who can’t hold their bladder for 20 minutes?”

Me: *getting slightly desperate at this point because, hey, bleeding through your clothing is uncomfortable and kind of gross* “No, miss, I’m a 15 year old with a uterus who needs to go put a pad in because I just started my period!”

Teacher: *looks disgusted* “Go to the pastoral office, NOW!”

Me: *shrugs, goes to the bathroom then to the pastoral office*

(I explain what happened and the pastoral officer is baffled as to why I’ve been sent there. 15 minutes later my teacher arrives looking smug.)

Teacher: “I take it you’ve received your detention, then?”

Me: “No? I’m not entirely sure why I was sent here and nor is [Pastoral Officer].”

Teacher: *looks shocked and goes into the pastoral officer’s office, closing the door behind her*

(Luckily for me the office walls are made of plywood so I get a front-row seat as my teacher is torn to shreds for trying to have me punished for mentioning the word “period”, which she deemed inappropriate for a classroom. She comes out and barely looks at me as she passes.)

Pastoral Officer: *passes me a chocolate bar surreptitiously* “I know we’re supposed to support that healthy eating crap so don’t let [Head Teacher] know I gave you this. You can go to your next class now. You’ll be a few minutes late but tell your next teacher you were with me, and get a hot water bottle from the nurse if you need to, okay?”

Me: “Yes, miss!”

(In an all-girls school of over 1000 students, it baffles me as to how mentioning a period could be seen by anyone as a punishable offence. It makes me wonder what that teacher does every month, close her eyes and pretend it’s not happening?)

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