How We Know That Pokémon Has Taken Over Your Life

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Scores of you are engaging in the great Pokémon hunt, and for some of you, it’s a matter of life and death:

Collected here are some of our favorite Pokémon Go inspired stories sent into Not Always Learning:

pokemon1

#1:

(Back in middle school art class, our teacher is introducing our next project: arctic animals carved out of Ivory soap. He quickly carves an eagle, and is asking the class for suggestions on what to demo next.)

Me: “A narwhal!”

Classmate: *gives me a disgusted look* “Pokémon aren’t real, [My Name]!”

 

#2:

(I’m wearing a Pokémon shirt to my chemistry class, and playing a Pokémon emulator as I wait for class to start. The teacher comes over to me.)

Teacher: “Isn’t Pokémon for little kids? You seem a little old for it.”

Me: “Not really. A lot of high school students play Pokémon.”

Teacher: “But why?”

Me: “Because I want to be the very best.”

Student #1: “Like no one ever was.”

Student #2: “To catch them is my real test.”

Student #3: “To train them is my cause!”

(More students join in until we’ve finished singing the theme song, and our teacher is looking really fed up.)

Teacher: “I… I don’t even know what to say anymore. You guys are too childish for me.”

(After he said this, he walked out of the class, and wasn’t seen for the rest of the day!)

 

#3:

(My university’s wind ensemble is on an overnight recruitment tour. Pokémon X and Y was released recently; nearly everyone on the bus, including our director, who is sitting across the row from me, is playing the game at this point.)

Director: “Hey, do you recognize this name?” *shows his Nintendo 3DS’s screen*

Me: “Yeah, that’s [Classmate]. Going to battle him?”

Director: “I haven’t turned a challenge down yet today. I like to think it gives y’all a chance to get the best of me every now and again, so I don’t mind all the requests.”

(I nod and resume my own game. About five minutes later I hear the director complaining.)

Director: “Not fair, [Classmate]!” *looks in my direction with an extremely sad face* “He named his Snorlax after me!”

 

#4:

(I am fairly well-known as kind of odd and geeky, and have been teased and mocked all my life for my various quirks. Lately, I’ve figured out a method to deal with people being jerks. The classmate in question is spectacularly obnoxious, and has seen me playing Pokémon while waiting for class to start on several occasions. We are working in groups.)

Obnoxious Classmate: *stumbles repeatedly over pronunciation of an Italian word*

Me: *politely* “It’s actually [correct pronunciation].”

Classmate: *angry and offended* “Oh, what do you know about it? Go buy an ultra ball and leave the rest of us to actually STUDY!”

Me: “Actually, I generally get pokéballs; they’re the most cost-effective. Great balls and ultra balls have higher catch rates, but the increased expense is far higher; an ultra ball is twice as likely to catch, true, but six times as expensive — meaning it’s more effective and cost-efficient to just buy six poke balls, for six times the capture chance.”

Classmate: “…”

(He never bothered me about playing Pokémon again!)

 

#5:

(We are in a calculus class, discussing polar curves.)

Teacher: “What does the graph of [function] look like?”

Student #1: “It’s a circle.”

(The teacher draws the circle on the board, putting a dot at its center. The circle had the horizontal axis going through its center, so it now resembles the “Poké Ball” from Pokémon.)

Student #1: “Looks like a Pokémon ball.”

Teacher: “It does look like a Pokémon ball.”

Student #2: “No, it doesn’t look like that. It looks like this.”

(Student #2 explains her (correct) graph of the function.)

Teacher: “Right, thanks for correcting me there.”

(He draws it on the board. The graph strongly resembles a sideways butt.)

Student #1: “It looks like a butt.”

Teacher: “Right, it’s a butt, not a Pokémon ball.”

(Cue laughter.)

Teacher: “I never thought I would say that sentence.”

(We proceed to do a problem based on the graph, the entire time using the terms ‘butt’ and ‘Pokémon ball.’)

 

Remember to share with your Pokémon Go loving friends, and that we have a large selection of Pokémon themed stories right here!

Like our Pokemon themed roundup? Check out the other site’s Pokemon roundups here!

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